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tpink posted:Legitimately curious - when does the bf mention come in? Like, you are cuddling in post-coital bliss and then she just drops it out of nowhere? Nah, that girl mentioned how excited she was for me and her boyfriend to meet the morning after when she was leaving my apartment. She realized pretty quickly that she'd somehow forgotten to mention his existence and the tone of the morning changed quickly from a sort of prolongued goodbye flirting to a hasty and awkward departure. She drunk messaged me two weeks later with some garbage about us having a genuine connection and how her boyfriend was boring in bed or w/e, but I ignored it.
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May 1, 2017 06:15
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Vespertillian posted:I have bad date stories! Trap sprung on that Steven Universe bit. Sorry about the "I have a boyfriend" bit 
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May 1, 2017 13:32
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Elsa posted:
Nice selfies on an Internet forum about jokes.
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May 1, 2017 14:56
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FAT gently caress
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Tribal Rival posted:Nice selfies on an Internet forum about jokes. lol thanks
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May 1, 2017 14:58
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Was a second or third date. We were gonna grab a couple drinks at a German bar in town. While walking down the sidewalk on our way there, we run into a friend of mine (D) who was with another couple I've never met before. D says we should all grab drinks together since they were heading to the same place. I say sure after my date nods. We all sit at a table and D grabs a Boot for the table to start us off. The other couple are silent this whole time and refuse the boot when D tries to pass it to them. D then tries to pass it to my date who then says she doesn't like beer. The awkwardness starts to sink in. D tries to get the other couple to talk, but it's becoming painfully clear they don't want to be here. The dude is giving one word answers. The girl isn't saying anything. My date doesn't seem to notice any of this, and begins telling the disinterested couple about her life while me and D pass a Boot back and forth. I'm trying to finish this thing as quick as possible, but D is as oblivious as my date and takes his sweet time. I'm getting uncomfortable now and freeze up. The other couple is now noticeably angry. My date starts mentioning out-loud that I'm acting strange all of a sudden. I try to snap myself out of it, and start to bring up a fun story to D. My date then says, out-loud, "see, that's better!" and I freeze again because what the gently caress. The other couple is now just staring at the floor. D is sitting in his stool just happy to be out, I guess. I slam back the rest of the Boot, take it back to the bar, say my good byes to the group, and walk outside with my date. I say my goodbye to her there before we both grab ubers and take off. I text her that night and say things aren't going to work out.
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May 1, 2017 15:27
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Chomp8645 posted:I really is unbelievable how common it is for dudes to go through their younger years wondering why girls don't like them, never realizing the multiple opportunities that were staring them in the face. I had been good friends with my partner for several years before we got together, he was not having a good time dating and I was happily single and one night we were hanging out at his house drunk and high and he was telling me about the last few lovely dates he had been on. I asked if it was OK if I kissed him and I did and he said he didn't like it and it felt weird. I said OK, I understand. A little while after I said let me try one more time... We were in loving within a few minutes and now completely in love and starting to talk about getting married. It was apparently right there in front of us the entire time and all it took was some drugs and alcohol to make us realize it.
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May 1, 2017 16:32
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TwoStepBoog posted:Was a second or third date. We were gonna grab a couple drinks at a German bar in town. Uh so did you ever find out from D what the deal was with the other couple, like why he was with them and stuff?
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May 1, 2017 16:40
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Izzhov posted:Uh so did you ever find out from D what the deal was with the other couple, like why he was with them and stuff? Oh you sweet summer child...
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May 1, 2017 17:05
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Should have called him C
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May 1, 2017 17:08
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A woman at the bar and her husband had a big argument where he was being a jerk and he left. She asked me to walk her home because he left and when we got outside and I asked her where she lives she was like "no, to your house". I obliged and we hooked up a couple times afterwards as well. They got back together eventually and still frequent some of the bars I do. The husband glares at me but I'm not really that worried about it since he looks like the guy who tried to steal the frozen dinosaurs from Jurassic Park.
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May 1, 2017 17:27
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I had met this girl online and things were going pretty well. One of the things we initially bonded over was that she was from the same small town my parents were from. I had asked one of my family members about her family because they had gone to school together. This led to my uncle talking to her father. On our third date we meet for lunch and as she sits down she drops the bombshell: we're cousins. I think she's joking but then she starts mentioning names in my family tree. Apparently our great great great grandfathers were brothers. I guess technically it's fine but we are both so disturbed by the idea that we quickly ate and then went our separate ways. Fortunately we hadn't gone further than a hug. Didn't stop my co-workers from calling me cousin fucker though.
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May 1, 2017 19:58
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chickie nugs for brekkie posted:I had met this girl online and things were going pretty well. One of the things we initially bonded over was that she was from the same small town my parents were from. I had asked one of my family members about her family because they had gone to school together. This led to my uncle talking to her father. One of the very few episodes of 30 Rock I've sat down and watched had this very situation play out.
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May 1, 2017 20:32
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SpaceClown posted:I got a half chub from this. I remember being a kid and watching that scene where everyone changes bodies, because I thought Sarah-Michelle Gellar was hot and I figured if I could just get my mind swapped with hers, I could totally see what she looked like naked. But yeah, gently caress that movie now. I don't want to have to sit through a kids film on a first date again. I'll reserve that for more consistent flings
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May 1, 2017 20:58
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chickie nugs for brekkie posted:I had met this girl online and things were going pretty well. One of the things we initially bonded over was that she was from the same small town my parents were from. I had asked one of my family members about her family because they had gone to school together. This led to my uncle talking to her father. You realize literally every human being you could possibly date shares a common ancestor at some point, right
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May 1, 2017 21:47
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chickie nugs for brekkie posted:I had met this girl online and things were going pretty well. One of the things we initially bonded over was that she was from the same small town my parents were from. I had asked one of my family members about her family because they had gone to school together. This led to my uncle talking to her father.
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May 1, 2017 21:55
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I see some of us married cousins
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May 1, 2017 22:09
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has someone linked the indiana jones bad dates with the dead monkey scene yet, if not pretend did here cya
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May 1, 2017 22:09
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chickie nugs for brekkie posted:I had met this girl online and things were going pretty well. One of the things we initially bonded over was that she was from the same small town my parents were from. I had asked one of my family members about her family because they had gone to school together. This led to my uncle talking to her father. Consider this, friend. You could actually live in that small town like me and be technically related to half the people in a bar any given Friday.
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May 1, 2017 22:29
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Heath posted:You realize literally every human being you could possibly date shares a common ancestor at some point, right Date outside your race maybe. I mean, your point still might hold true, but not for a few, like, dozen generations.
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May 1, 2017 22:32
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Heath posted:You realize literally every human being you could possibly date shares a common ancestor at some point, right Well yeah mister Dawkins but it might have been easier if our families didn't go to the same church. Also the two brothers I mentioned married two sisters so I would have been multiplying my chances of having a flipper baby.
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May 2, 2017 03:39
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Heath posted:You realize literally every human being you could possibly date shares a common ancestor at some point, right Turning pedantry into cousin-loving is a helluva trick.
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May 2, 2017 04:08
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I dunno about you, but my great-great-great grandfather died in 1882. I think 130 years of separation is probably sufficient.
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May 2, 2017 05:14
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chickie nugs for brekkie posted:Well yeah mister Dawkins but it might have been easier if our families didn't go to the same church. Also the two brothers I mentioned married two sisters so I would have been multiplying my chances of having a flipper baby. That's Sir Dawkins, you dundridge
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May 2, 2017 05:16
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Oh yeah that reminds me of an aborted date where I learned she had the same last name as me just before we were about to meet up. When you figure that out there's just no going forward after that. It's too loving weird.
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May 2, 2017 13:27
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i was once on a date and the girl would not shut up about her melting rear end in a top hat and how many points was demeritted from her work portfolio or something idk i jsut went to the bathroom and flushed myself down the closest toilet i could fine 
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May 2, 2017 14:00
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I went on a date with someone and after 15 minutes it was super obvious to me it would never work, so I started talking up somebody i knew who was single for about an hour until they got the hint and we parted ways and that couple is still together to this day.
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May 2, 2017 14:33
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"deliver me ten thousand skulls" she said "ten thousand skulls and my body shall be yours, traveler" I mean, thats just too many skulls
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May 2, 2017 14:52
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Fartbox posted:"deliver me ten thousand skulls" she said i know a site that you can easily get your skull fix .......
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May 2, 2017 14:57
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Barudak posted:I went on a date with someone and after 15 minutes it was super obvious to me it would never work, so I started talking up somebody i knew who was single for about an hour until they got the hint and we parted ways and that couple is still together to this day. Really sugarcoating the slave trade there
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May 2, 2017 15:58
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Your Awful Dates: gently caress YOUR COUSIN YOU WEIRDO!
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May 2, 2017 21:04
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chickie nugs for brekkie posted:Your Awful Dates: gently caress YOUR COUSIN YOU WEIRDO! it's okay when you think about it we're all related somewhat anyway
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May 2, 2017 21:08
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'I'm a grower, not a show-er' he said, anemic penis resting atop his balls
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May 2, 2017 21:10
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Space Race Riot posted:I once took a poo poo in a date's oven and wiped my rear end with her potholders because she kept taking phonecalls from her ex and leaving the room. I won't stand for that kind of inconsiderate behavior. What the gently caress is a potholder I think the worst date I ever had was this one girl who parked like a mile away from where I told her to park on the beach. I also thought she would be late because she was a chick so I ended up having to basically jog a mile to get to her on time. This was in heavy jeans, boots and fairly warm weather. I was sweating like a monster when I finally got up there. I spent the first ten minutes at the restaurant drinking ice water and asking for more napkins. When we finally settled into the date she wouldnt stop complaining about her job, almost like it was my fault, like angry complaining. Then she never called me again. I wanted her to. Her family was rich and had a boat. Maybe they would have shown me what potholders are.
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May 2, 2017 21:12
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Cannondellah posted:What the gently caress is a potholder its that thing you use to pick up pots so you dont burn your hand you weirdo.
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May 2, 2017 21:14
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one time I went on a summer date to the beach and my date showed up in heavy jeans and boots. Then he ran a mile to where I was parked instead of driving there. Then when we went to a restaurant, he chugged gallons of water and wiped his sweaty body down with napkins. Also he admitted he was unfamiliar with the concept of a "potholder"
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May 2, 2017 21:21
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walgreenslatino posted:one time I went on a summer date to the beach and my date showed up in heavy jeans and boots. Then he ran a mile to where I was parked instead of driving there. Then when we went to a restaurant, he chugged gallons of water and wiped his sweaty body down with napkins. Also he admitted he was unfamiliar with the concept of a "potholder" Did you ghost his poor rear end?
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May 2, 2017 21:22
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akma posted:Did you ghost his poor rear end? this thread is an amazing honeypot
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May 2, 2017 21:23
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walgreenslatino posted:you know it Outstanding. Probably for the best.
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May 2, 2017 21:24
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chickie nugs for brekkie posted:Your Awful Dates: gently caress YOUR COUSIN YOU WEIRDO! http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/fab-lifes-whitney-thore-learns-that-shes-dating-her-cousin-w473834 When you find out you are dating your cousin and that she is also a whale.
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May 2, 2017 22:11
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Three Olives posted:http://www.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/fab-lifes-whitney-thore-learns-that-shes-dating-her-cousin-w473834 but i thought you were gay 3O, which one of these is you?
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May 2, 2017 22:14
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