woke #brands: i am a slytherin AND a white person so i can say this with absolute ce

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > woke #brands: i am a slytherin AND a white person so i can say this with absolute ce

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Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

all the good content from the onion moved to stamps.com are you tired of running out of stamps? use promo code #woke up get your first month free at stamps.com that's s t a m p s . c o m

# ? May 3, 2017 04:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 21, 2024 17:21

ArgumentatumE.C.T.: Nov 5, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Blue Train posted:

The tweet is kind of funny but holy gently caress that video is bad

man, gently caress you man that was like loving Kubrick grade

I love it

# ? May 3, 2017 04:49

get that OUT of my face: Feb 10, 2007

Dreddout posted:

Woke brands are the true revolutionary class

all hail Premier Denny's

# ? May 3, 2017 04:48

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Dreddout posted:

all the good content from the onion moved to stamps.com are you tired of running out of stamps? use promo code #woke up get your first month free at stamps.com that's s t a m p s . c o m

I actually worked for them for a few years. They're loving killing it on podcast ads.

# ? May 3, 2017 13:24

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

Andrei Dorkovsky posted:

https://twitter.com/Forbes/status/859056068458156032

the family of apps be with you

# ? May 3, 2017 13:52

Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

Vox Nihili posted:

http://www.theonion.com/article/mike-pence-asks-waiter-remove-mrs-butterworth-tabl-55661

Mike Pence Asks Waiter To Remove Mrs. Butterworth From Table Until Wife Arrives

WASHINGTON—Expressing concerns about the propriety of being left alone with a syrup container of the opposite sex, Vice President Mike Pence reportedly asked his waiter Thursday to remove Mrs. Butterworth from the table until his wife arrived to join him at a local diner. “Excuse me, sir, would you please take this out of my line of sight until my wife gets here?” said Pence, who reportedly attempted to put the table’s sugar dispenser and salt and pepper shakers between him and the feminine syrup bottle before deciding that even having Mrs. Butterworth within arm’s reach could lead him to have impure thoughts. “It just would not be right for me to sit here alone with a woman-shaped container, particularly one as shapely as this. In fact, I would advise you to do the same for the man sitting over there—I see he is sitting very close to Mrs. Butterworth even though he appears to be wearing a wedding ring.” At press time, Pence had asked the waiter to pour syrup on his pancakes for him, as it would be unseemly to handle the curves of the plastic woman in such a public place.

I dunno man this is still funny on my end.

It's the same joke as the title repeated 5 different times

# ? May 3, 2017 14:06

an actual dog: Nov 18, 2014

Michael Moore wants the The Rock to run for prez - "It would scare anybody that would hurt us. Think about how safe we would be if the Rock was president."

# ? May 3, 2017 19:05

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

an actual dog posted:

Michael Moore wants the The Rock to run for prez - "It would scare anybody that would hurt us. Think about how safe we would be if the Rock was president."

Same but Mick Foley as Mankind.

# ? May 3, 2017 19:07

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

an actual dog posted:

Michael Moore wants the The Rock to run for prez - "It would scare anybody that would hurt us. Think about how safe we would be if the Rock was president."

isn't the rock a republican

# ? May 3, 2017 19:22

got any sevens: Feb 9, 2013; by Cyrano4747

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

isn't the rock a republican

So was Lincoln

# ? May 3, 2017 19:24

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

and MLK

# ? May 3, 2017 19:24

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

WampaLord posted:

I actually worked for them for a few years. They're loving killing it on podcast ads.

Oh I believe it, I only know they exist because of all the podcasts I listen to riff on the stamps.com ad.

I've never even listened to an actual ad of theirs and I can guess the content.

However I have no need of stamps, and I have legitimately no idea how their business model works.

# ? May 3, 2017 19:46

Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

an actual dog posted:

Michael Moore wants the The Rock to run for prez - "It would scare anybody that would hurt us. Think about how safe we would be if the Rock was president."

to be fair, no wwe hall of fame member has ever lost a presidential election

# ? May 3, 2017 19:50

mbt: Aug 13, 2012

Scrub-Niggurath posted:

to be fair, no wwe hall of fame member has ever lost a presidential election

paul bearer's urn made a brief run in 88

# ? May 3, 2017 19:55

mrmcd: Feb 22, 2003; Pictured: The only good cop (a fictional one).

Dreddout posted:

However I have no need of stamps, and I have legitimately no idea how their business model works.

SMBs that need to mail poo poo all day.

# ? May 3, 2017 20:11

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

mrmcd posted:

SMBs that need to mail poo poo all day.

Better idea.

Pass legislation to allow all business to be conducted over Twitter

# ? May 3, 2017 20:24

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

an actual dog posted:

Michael Moore wants the The Rock to run for prez - "It would scare anybody that would hurt us. Think about how safe we would be if the Rock was president."

I'm surprised he didn't go for THE BIG GUY, THE RYBACK!!! (aka the guy who quit wwe because of their unfair labor practices)

# ? May 3, 2017 23:13

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

im pretty sure MM is being facetious

# ? May 4, 2017 02:40

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Gio posted:

im pretty sure MM is being facetious

He said the Dems need to run a celeb next time and proposed Tom Hanks, he's just an idiot

# ? May 4, 2017 03:20

Gio: Jun 20, 2005

well yes he is an idiot but in that instance im pretty sure he was being facetious

# ? May 4, 2017 03:21

Nanomashoes: Aug 18, 2012

https://twitter.com/TheRoot/status/753572342320787460

# ? May 4, 2017 04:45

FuzzySkinner: May 23, 2012

Nanomashoes posted:

https://twitter.com/TheRoot/status/753572342320787460

Tim Wise?

Is that the guy the Chapo gang ripped a new rear end in a top hat for being stupid as gently caress?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyPxjXoMvuc&t

e: "Also Tim wise can say the n-word now!"

# ? May 4, 2017 04:49

Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

Nanomashoes posted:

https://twitter.com/TheRoot/status/753572342320787460

a lot to unpack here

# ? May 4, 2017 04:52

ScrubLeague: Feb 11, 2007; Nap Ghost

I would vote for The Rock regardless of party or platform.

# ? May 4, 2017 04:56

Tunicate: May 15, 2012

The Rock has taken a firm progressive stand already, socializing his wrestling moves. The People's Elbow is for everyone.

# ? May 4, 2017 05:03

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

Nanomashoes posted:

https://twitter.com/TheRoot/status/753572342320787460

this reminds me of the WHCD where that daily show guy made the joke that the media are minorities now and then made special mention to MSNBC that they were in fact not minorities and were still white, privileged, and rich af

# ? May 4, 2017 05:16

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

Nanomashoes posted:

https://twitter.com/TheRoot/status/753572342320787460

Who the gently caress cares?

# ? May 4, 2017 05:17

Tiny Timbs: Sep 6, 2008

FuzzySkinner posted:

Tim Wise?

Is that the guy the Chapo gang ripped a new rear end in a top hat for being stupid as gently caress?

oh well if some 30 year old white dudes talked poo poo on the internet then i just don't know what to believe

# ? May 4, 2017 05:25

mbt: Aug 13, 2012

oh are the chapo guys white? sorry I don't see color

# ? May 4, 2017 05:30

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

Blue Train posted:

He said the Dems need to run a celeb next time

Unironically a good idea for the dems

Dreddout has issued a correction as of 05:48 on May 4, 2017

# ? May 4, 2017 05:46

MonsieurChoc: Oct 12, 2013; Every species can smell its own extinction.

President Stephen King would be hilarious.

# ? May 4, 2017 08:07

FisheyStix: Jul 2, 2008; This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

You think that now but we'd get to the end of his term and have to do it all over again

# ? May 4, 2017 08:23

Oh Snapple!: Dec 27, 2005

FisheyStix posted:

You think that now but we'd get to the end of his term and have to do it all over again

# ? May 4, 2017 08:22

Peanut President: Nov 5, 2008; by Athanatos

MonsieurChoc posted:

President Stephen King would be hilarious.

President Bachman or nothing, imo.

# ? May 4, 2017 09:09

Kindest Forums User: Mar 25, 2008; Let me tell you about my opinion about Bernie Sanders and why Donald Trump is his true successor.

You cannot vote Hillary Clinton because she is worse than Trump.

There was a fantastic thread on old lf mocking Tim wises Facebook posts. Someone needs to dig up the screenshots. Tim is largely responsible for the neckbeard checkmate meme because he used it unironically when talking about how much he gets laid

# ? May 4, 2017 16:51