Putty posted:

Solaire left his armor in the pickle pee nest after a very bad date with Pick

Putty posted:

Solaire left his armor in the pickle pee nest after a very bad date with crows

Machai posted:

Ah, hello! You don't look Male, far from it!
I am Solaire of Amazonia, an adherent of the Lady of Sunlight.
Now that I am peepee doodoo, I have come to this great land, the birthplace of Lady Pick, to seek my very own fur suit!
… Do you find that strange? Well, you should!
No need to hide your reaction. I get that look all the time!
Hah hah hah!

Machai posted:

Ah, hello! You don't look Male, far from it!
I am Solaire of Amazonia, an adherent of the Lady of Sunlight.
Now that I am peepee doodoo, I have come to this great land, the birthplace of Lady Pick, to seek my very own fur suit!
… Do you find that strange? Well, you should!
No need to hide your reaction. I get that look all the time!
Hah hah hah!

CRINDY posted:

went on my first date in six months (tbf I've been dealing with a weak heart and had to get surgery in January so that's definitely part of it, although the two dates in the two years before that are probably more indicative of my extreme anxiety and lack of sexual experience multiplying the anxiety) and it seemed like it was going pretty well. i got really sad and deleted all of my messages and then two weeks later she asked to meet up and I figured sure I'll take two hours and meet her and have a few beers.

we talked for two hours and the conversation never faltered. but, I was so focused on not being a creep that I a) never got her name b) never said anything remotely flirty c) when the bar closed at 11 instead of 1 (which I was not aware of beforehand, and in retrospect probably seemed weird that I was convinced it was open until 1) I called it a night and went to smoke bongs with my bros instead of continuing the night, because first dates and all. could you guess there was no second date?

Next up: going to the city this week to see a show with a friend of mine who I've mutually flirted with and have also effectively put on a pedestal, so the stories are gonna be loving hilarious out of this one. it's a good thing I can't afford therapy!

Fartbox posted:

Went on a date with this chubby girl and we didn't have sex until the third date :/

CRINDY posted:

went on my first date in six months (tbf I've been dealing with a weak heart and had to get surgery in January so that's definitely part of it, although the two dates in the two years before that are probably more indicative of my extreme anxiety and lack of sexual experience multiplying the anxiety) and it seemed like it was going pretty well. i got really sad and deleted all of my messages and then two weeks later she asked to meet up and I figured sure I'll take two hours and meet her and have a few beers.

we talked for two hours and the conversation never faltered. but, I was so focused on not being a creep that I a) never got her name b) never said anything remotely flirty c) when the bar closed at 11 instead of 1 (which I was not aware of beforehand, and in retrospect probably seemed weird that I was convinced it was open until 1) I called it a night and went to smoke bongs with my bros instead of continuing the night, because first dates and all. could you guess there was no second date?

Next up: going to the city this week to see a show with a friend of mine who I've mutually flirted with and have also effectively put on a pedestal, so the stories are gonna be loving hilarious out of this one. it's a good thing I can't afford therapy!

Baronjutter posted:

Man, I both feel like I dodged a bullet and missed out by really never dating much at all. Closest to an awful date was this very flirty rich foreign student who invited me to her apartment to help her with her english homework. Except that's all she wanted, help with her english homework. I had tutored before so I decided to get out of date mode and into tutor mode and didn't just do her homework for her, tried to help her actually do it her self. Suddenly she's all wrapped around me and saying she's just tooooo stressed to do the assignment and she has so much stress in her life she'd be soooooo greatful if I could help more. Being like 17 I did it, the more I did the closer she got. It never got overtly sexual but she ended up in my lap facing me while massaging my back. By the time I left I of course knew what was going on and didn't really want to go back. Talked to some other guys who did language work and one realllly nerdy guy got all excited when I mentioned this girl out, he said he helps her with her math work and he thinks she likes him!! lol she was running this game on a nerd for every subject. I told him and a couple others, they all got defensive and said they had something special with her. I was a teen nerd but at least I could tell what was going on.

I stayed semi-friends with her just no homework cheating or flirting, she was fine that way. Couple months later she's complaining that guys are stalking her and accusing her of leading them on and manipulating and using them. I told her I felt the same way a little after our first 'date", that her getting so physical felt like bribery to help her and it made me feel uncomfortable since it was also clear she had no intentions in anything other than help with classes.. She seemed honestly shocked and said she was just a cuddly person and claimed to be totally confused why they got those signals and it must be cultural differences.

Original_Z posted:

In uni there was some foreign exchange student from Korea who was super into videogames and was actually pretty good at fighting games, I was friends with her and we used to hang out and go to arcades and play lots of console games, I never tried to make a move on her or anything like that so I got to witness a lot of interesting interactions with guys. She just seemed super naive about guys though, like the men she met would always be helping her out and letting her borrow stuff and she just seemed to think that American guys were really nice and would take their favors without any kind of reciprocating, I was actually really worried that someone would be too aggressive with her, although I guess since she mainly hung around nerds they never tried to do that.

Anyway the arcade that we played at had a local forum and I noticed once that there was a thread talking about her, guys would say how she was their dream girl and wondered if she liked anime or a bunch of other nerd poo poo. It was kind of creepy but nothing disgusting. I showed the thread to her and she was really shocked about it and I guess felt betrayed or something because she never wanted to go to that arcade again afterwards.

I actually visited her in Korea once and she showed me around the arcade scene, there were a fair number of female players there holding their own at fighting games so I guess maybe it isn't as big a deal there to see girls at the arcade.

Machai posted:

Ah, hello! You don't look Male, far from it!
I am Solaire of Amazonia, an adherent of the Lady of Sunlight.
Now that I am peepee doodoo, I have come to this great land, the birthplace of Lady Pick, to seek my very own fur suit!
… Do you find that strange? Well, you should!
No need to hide your reaction. I get that look all the time!
Hah hah hah!

Original_Z posted:

In uni there was some foreign exchange student from Korea who was super into videogames and was actually pretty good at fighting games, I was friends with her and we used to hang out and go to arcades and play lots of console games, I never tried to make a move on her or anything like that so I got to witness a lot of interesting interactions with guys. She just seemed super naive about guys though, like the men she met would always be helping her out and letting her borrow stuff and she just seemed to think that American guys were really nice and would take their favors without any kind of reciprocating, I was actually really worried that someone would be too aggressive with her, although I guess since she mainly hung around nerds they never tried to do that.

Anyway the arcade that we played at had a local forum and I noticed once that there was a thread talking about her, guys would say how she was their dream girl and wondered if she liked anime or a bunch of other nerd poo poo. It was kind of creepy but nothing disgusting. I showed the thread to her and she was really shocked about it and I guess felt betrayed or something because she never wanted to go to that arcade again afterwards.

I actually visited her in Korea once and she showed me around the arcade scene, there were a fair number of female players there holding their own at fighting games so I guess maybe it isn't as big a deal there to see girls at the arcade.

Fartbox posted:

how is this related to dating you shitlord

Smashurbanipal posted:

Recently went on a date with this cute young lady off of OKC. Had been chatting for a while and I mentioned that I would be down in her neck of the woods Thursday, how about grabbing a drink and meeting in person? She enthusiastically agrees.

Fast forward to our date. She texted me to say she's stuck a little longer then planned at work due to an ongoing case. No worries, it happens. Asks if I would mind changing where we're gonna meet as it's closer to her and she's really in the mood for some vietnamese. No problem, I love vietnamese. I know the place so I head over there, grab a table, have a beer, read the news on my phone. Time passes, still no Megan, have another beer, time passes, still no Megan. I don't want to order without her, figure that's pretty rude, but I haven't eaten since lunch, and the last thing I want to do is get hangry on a date. I've got granola bars in the car so I figure i'll just scarf one down real quick in the parking lot. I tell the waitress I'll be right back, leave my beer and coat and get to the door. Blam, theres Megan.

Little awkwardness ensues: she asks if I'm leaving, apologizing for being late, I say oh no, just forgot something in my car I'll be right there and walk her over to where I grabbed a table and sit back down. She says don't you have to get something? I said, no, not really not that you're here. Her face kinda falls and she says you WERE leaving... No, I was just running out to grab something but it's not important, see my coat was here at the table, and I'd never leave a full beer, that's a sin. She laughs and says alright, I guess that's true.

So we order and are chatting while the food comes and she asks about what i did that day since I had it off. Mention I was looking for ski boots cause I just started skiing this past January and love it so might as well bite the bullet and get my own gear. She snowboards so so we chat about that, things are going well, she jokes about taking an impromptu vacation and flying to Whistler and boarding all day and hot tubbing all night all flirtatiously. Says work's been tough lately I could really use a break. I knew she was a social worker but ask her what been going on? Oh a whole rash of unpleasant cases in the school district of suspected child abuse...

Here's where I put my foot in it. I burst out laughing and when she looks horrified, I quickly explain that I just remembered a situation that happened with one of my younger brother that ended up with the principal of the school having a meeting with my folks and a social worker. My brother to this day loves making up nonsensical songs. That day in 4th grade while walking down the hall he was singing "Don't beat me mother, with that wet towel, oh please please Momma, don't beat me so bad" a la John Lee Hooker over and over. Teacher heard it, reported it, he got hauled in, my parents got called in, big to do, but quickly resolved that he had just been listening to tons of blues with my dad and improvising.

"That's not funny at all, I can't believe you think that's funny, I'm leaving. I don't want to hear from you ever" Up and out the door she went.

Stories about suspected child abuse, even with a funny happy ending, not good first date material.

powerful sex moves posted:

Sounds like you dodged a bullet by not getting into a relationship with a wet blanket.

Fartbox posted:

how is this related to dating you shitlord

Baronjutter posted:

Yeah, she sounded absolutely humourless and awful. You did nothing wrong, just weeded her out sooner than later. I've got friends in social work and they can all have a laugh about some of their funnier stories, and you need to be able to just laugh at humanity to get through the dark stuff you encounter in that field.

Smashurbanipal posted:

Recently went on a date with this cute young lady off of OKC. Had been chatting for a while and I mentioned that I would be down in her neck of the woods Thursday, how about grabbing a drink and meeting in person? She enthusiastically agrees.

Fast forward to our date. She texted me to say she's stuck a little longer then planned at work due to an ongoing case. No worries, it happens. Asks if I would mind changing where we're gonna meet as it's closer to her and she's really in the mood for some vietnamese. No problem, I love vietnamese. I know the place so I head over there, grab a table, have a beer, read the news on my phone. Time passes, still no Megan, have another beer, time passes, still no Megan. I don't want to order without her, figure that's pretty rude, but I haven't eaten since lunch, and the last thing I want to do is get hangry on a date. I've got granola bars in the car so I figure i'll just scarf one down real quick in the parking lot. I tell the waitress I'll be right back, leave my beer and coat and get to the door. Blam, theres Megan.

Little awkwardness ensues: she asks if I'm leaving, apologizing for being late, I say oh no, just forgot something in my car I'll be right there and walk her over to where I grabbed a table and sit back down. She says don't you have to get something? I said, no, not really not that you're here. Her face kinda falls and she says you WERE leaving... No, I was just running out to grab something but it's not important, see my coat was here at the table, and I'd never leave a full beer, that's a sin. She laughs and says alright, I guess that's true.

So we order and are chatting while the food comes and she asks about what i did that day since I had it off. Mention I was looking for ski boots cause I just started skiing this past January and love it so might as well bite the bullet and get my own gear. She snowboards so so we chat about that, things are going well, she jokes about taking an impromptu vacation and flying to Whistler and boarding all day and hot tubbing all night all flirtatiously. Says work's been tough lately I could really use a break. I knew she was a social worker but ask her what been going on? Oh a whole rash of unpleasant cases in the school district of suspected child abuse...

Here's where I put my foot in it. I burst out laughing and when she looks horrified, I quickly explain that I just remembered a situation that happened with one of my younger brother that ended up with the principal of the school having a meeting with my folks and a social worker. My brother to this day loves making up nonsensical songs. That day in 4th grade while walking down the hall he was singing "Don't beat me mother, with that wet towel, oh please please Momma, don't beat me so bad" a la John Lee Hooker over and over. Teacher heard it, reported it, he got hauled in, my parents got called in, big to do, but quickly resolved that he had just been listening to tons of blues with my dad and improvising.

"That's not funny at all, I can't believe you think that's funny, I'm leaving. I don't want to hear from you ever" Up and out the door she went.

Stories about suspected child abuse, even with a funny happy ending, not good first date material.

JFairfax posted:

lol you laughed when a woman was telling you about how she is really stressed from dealing with child abuse cases.

you were not listening to her, you were just waiting for your chance to speak with an amusing anecdote.

she did the right thing you dolt

Dr. Quarex posted:

"I'm fine, it's just I have been dealing at work with a case where a guy punched his wife so hard that he knocked out her teeth."
"Hahaha! Yeah a buddy of mine lost some teeth one time when we were playing hockey while drunk."

Jesse Ventura posted:

also that dating anecdote switches several times between past and present tense, which is nearly as annoying

Jesse Ventura posted:

also that dating anecdote switches several times between past and present tense, which is nearly as annoying

new phone who dis posted:

Hello I know I just met you and this is our first date but here are some horrifying stories of child abuse.

Axolotl posted:

The Weird Al parody of "Call Me Maybe" took an unexpected turn to the dark.

JFairfax posted:

lol you laughed when a woman was telling you about how she is really stressed from dealing with child abuse cases.

you were not listening to her, you were just waiting for your chance to speak with an amusing anecdote.

she did the right thing you dolt

Pick posted:

The Science of Suck posted:

she farted on my balls when i'm perfectly capable of farting on them myself so i guess that's feminism for ya