Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Pacra posted:

Anyway. Here's Cap being a gym dick to the D-Man! (Should be from Avengers Vol. 3)

Nope! It's from Captain America v1 #402.

For context, D-Man has just (like, the issue before... I think, but the timeline is convoluted because a ton of books were derailed by Operation:Galactic Storm) been pulled out of the Arctic Ocean, where he was frozen in suspended animation for a while just like Cap back in the day, and was in shock; he was compliant, able to understand what he was told, but entirely non-responsive. Cap was actually trying to get some kind of response out of him and jar him back to some semblance of sanity.

Steve Rogers is not being a gym dick to D-Man! He's trying to help! D-Man is his friend! And also my friend, and cool and good.

# ? May 7, 2017 13:11

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# ? May 9, 2024 03:39

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Nope! It's from Captain America v1 #402.

For context, D-Man has just (like, the issue before... I think, but the timeline is convoluted because a ton of books were derailed by Operation:Galactic Storm) been pulled out of the Arctic Ocean, where he was frozen in suspended animation for a while just like Cap back in the day, and was in shock; he was compliant, able to understand what he was told, but entirely non-responsive. Cap was actually trying to get some kind of response out of him and jar him back to some semblance of sanity.

Steve Rogers is not being a gym dick to D-Man! He's trying to help! D-Man is his friend! And also my friend, and cool and good.

Steve Rogers would never be a dick to D-Man. And yeah, I actually really have a lot of fondness for that character, and I think the early-2000s internet tendency to go longbox diving and pull out forgotten characters just to point and laugh and call them dumb loving rubes ended up seeping into the way the character was treated in the actual comics, which is a shame.

The main thing about poor old D-Man was that he had a really good heart (and I say this knowing that, in fact, he had a relatively weak heart as a result of his strength augmentation treatments). The thing about Gruenwald's run on Cap, at least in terms of the original characters he created and wrote, was that they all had some sort of point to make. I feel like D-Man's point was cautionary: being a superhero would actually be pretty terrible, no matter how pure your intentions. (Even Quasar, arguably his pet/self-identification character, got eleven colors of poo poo kicked out of him in his solo title.) I mean, every kid who grew up reading comics probably at at least one point wished they could be a superhero, if only they'd get bit by that spider or chosen for Super-Soldier serum testing or or or (etc). That was basically D-Man's through line: he got handwavey super-strength, he got rich as a wrestler, and then just straight up decided, more or less, hey, I'm gonna be Captain America's sidekick! And it went very badly for him. And to look at the character from a remove and go, "hey, what a loving dum-dum" misses the point. Of course he was. He was a fanboy trying to live the fantasy, and Earth-616 is was no place for gentle people with a good heart to try and make a difference.

Pastry of the Year fucked around with this message at 14:22 on May 7, 2017

# ? May 7, 2017 14:19

Pacra: Aug 5, 2004

Pastry of the Year posted:

And yeah, I actually really have a lot of fondness for that character, and I think the early-2000s internet tendency to go longbox diving and pull out forgotten characters just to point and laugh and call them dumb loving rubes ended up seeping into the way the character was treated in the actual comics, which is a shame.

I agree, I think D-Man could have some good contemporary stories going for him, it's weird that some marvel writers went for this treatment in the past and it's apparent that it has colored my perception of him even in his earliest comic incarnations.

To be fair though, Marvel did him no favors with the costume, even if it was originally origin-intentional... he's their 100% in-house on-purpose version of 'orginal character do not steal'.

# ? May 8, 2017 00:00

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

D-Man is a solid boy.

[Captain America #328]

Cap doesn't pull him up on his suit not featuring pirate boots or dainty head wings.

# ? May 8, 2017 00:34

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Yeah, that was a joke from the get-go.

E: hahahaha beaten, but only just

# ? May 8, 2017 00:36

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

Pastry of the Year posted:

Steve Rogers would never be a dick to D-Man. And yeah, I actually really have a lot of fondness for that character, and I think the early-2000s internet tendency to go longbox diving and pull out forgotten characters just to point and laugh and call them dumb loving rubes ended up seeping into the way the character was treated in the actual comics, which is a shame.

The main thing about poor old D-Man was that he had a really good heart (and I say this knowing that, in fact, he had a relatively weak heart as a result of his strength augmentation treatments). The thing about Gruenwald's run on Cap, at least in terms of the original characters he created and wrote, was that they all had some sort of point to make. I feel like D-Man's point was cautionary: being a superhero would actually be pretty terrible, no matter how pure your intentions. (Even Quasar, arguably his pet/self-identification character, got eleven colors of poo poo kicked out of him in his solo title.) I mean, every kid who grew up reading comics probably at at least one point wished they could be a superhero, if only they'd get bit by that spider or chosen for Super-Soldier serum testing or or or (etc). That was basically D-Man's through line: he got handwavey super-strength, he got rich as a wrestler, and then just straight up decided, more or less, hey, I'm gonna be Captain America's sidekick! And it went very badly for him. And to look at the character from a remove and go, "hey, what a loving dum-dum" misses the point. Of course he was. He was a fanboy trying to live the fantasy, and Earth-616 is was no place for gentle people with a good heart to try and make a difference.

D-Man was a True Believer in the very best way, like Six Pack.

# ? May 8, 2017 00:44

Pastry of the Year: Apr 12, 2013

Ghostlight posted:

Cap doesn't pull him up on his suit not featuring pirate boots or dainty head wings.

Also, in keeping with funny panels and Gru-Cap chat

prefect posted:

D-Man was a True Believer in the very best way, like Six Pack.

D-Man got (apparently) blown up because he was trying to save an ULTIMATUM rank-and-file dude from getting killed.

That's a true believer.

Pastry of the Year fucked around with this message at 00:45 on May 8, 2017

# ? May 8, 2017 00:43

DivineCoffeeBinge: Mar 3, 2011; Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

I reread Gruenwald's Cap run recently and anyone who says D-Man is bad is a horrible person and I will fight them. :colbert:

# ? May 8, 2017 15:11

SilverSupernova: Feb 1, 2013

Anyone remember what issue of Secret Wars focused solely on D-Man for half the book?

# ? May 8, 2017 15:16

redbackground: Sep 24, 2007; BEHOLD!
OPTIC BLAST!; Grimey Drawer

SilverSupernova posted:

Anyone remember what issue of Secret Wars focused solely on D-Man for half the book?

Secret Wars, Too

# ? May 8, 2017 16:17

TGG: Aug 8, 2003; "I Dare."

Yeah D-Man has the greatest day of his life, Jarvis tells him that Cap talks about him all the time and respects the hell out of him, he gets in the ring again and wins the championship with his new Tag-Team partner Rage and eats a bunch of pie. The issue ends with D-Man sitting on a bench looking up to see the Ultimate Earth slamming into 616.

Secret Wars Too had a solid pile of little stories, I even enjoyed the goofy Cyclops vs Wolverine vs Beardevil vs Foggy vs Bear Foggy bit.

TGG fucked around with this message at 07:52 on May 9, 2017

# ? May 8, 2017 21:05

Some Pinko Commie: Jun 9, 2009; CNC! Easy as 1️⃣2️⃣3️⃣!

It also has the best resurrection gag I've seen.

# ? May 8, 2017 21:12

Pureauthor: Jul 8, 2010; ASK ME ABOUT KISSING A GHOST

'Underverse' is a pretty lame name for an afterlife/demon dimension.

# ? May 9, 2017 04:31

haitfais: Aug 7, 2005; I am offended by your ham, sir.

Pureauthor posted:

'Underverse' is a pretty lame name for an afterlife/demon dimension.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpMVJZ05No4&t=7s

# ? May 9, 2017 05:55

Unlucky7: Jul 11, 2006; Fallen Rib

biracial bear for uncut posted:

It also has the best resurrection gag I've seen.

Oh god drat it I just got the pun

# ? May 9, 2017 06:05

Name Change: Oct 9, 2005

haitfais posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpMVJZ05No4&t=7s

Welcome to the limit!

# ? May 9, 2017 15:55

TheCenturion: May 3, 2013; HI I LIKE TO GIVE ADVICE ON RELATIONSHIPS

dont even fink about it posted:

Welcome to the limit!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZu5iDTtNg0

# ? May 9, 2017 22:09

Lobok: Jul 13, 2006; Say Watt?

FF #67

# ? May 10, 2017 00:21

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

dang it, another nega-reed. ben, get the broom.

# ? May 10, 2017 00:25

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

TheCenturion posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZu5iDTtNg0

I like this one better:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJqEUg9dRzs

# ? May 10, 2017 01:22

Cabbit: Jul 19, 2001; _{Is that everything you have?}

Lobok posted:

FF #67

We get it, Reed, you're disappointed with your Fitbit.

# ? May 10, 2017 01:26

Knormal: Nov 11, 2001

Lobok posted:

FF #67

# ? May 10, 2017 02:08

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

Knormal posted:

Brilliance

# ? May 10, 2017 03:10

Ponsonby Britt: Mar 13, 2006; I think you mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wassup?

prefect posted:

D-Man was a True Believer in the very best way, like Six Pack.

In the context of the book (All-Star Section 8 #6) this is less 'haha' funny and more 'existence is incredibly bleak' funny. But it does track pretty well with the "it would actually be terrible to be a superhero" aspect of D-Man.

# ? May 10, 2017 07:02

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

[Avengers #11]

# ? May 10, 2017 09:16

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

That face is brilliant.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? May 10, 2017 14:28

Philippe: Aug 9, 2013; (she/her)

Should that be :thor:, or :forsooth:?

# ? May 10, 2017 15:51

ImpAtom: May 24, 2007

Ghostlight posted:

[Avengers #11]

Jesus, Thor is pissed about the hair comment.

# ? May 10, 2017 17:58

Work Friend Keven: Oct 24, 2015; I'M A BIG STUPID IDIOT WHO GETS TRIGGERED FROM THE WORDS SPORTS BALL AND HAS SHIT OPINIONS ABOUT CARD GAMES. ALSO I SAID I WAS GOING TO QUIT HEARTHSTONE OUT OF SPITE OF A TAIWANESE WINNING THE CHAMPIONSHIP SO REPORT ME IF YOU SEE ME POST IN A HS THREAD

Hell I'd be pissed too if someone came at me with a gendered insult like that.

# ? May 10, 2017 18:29

Alhazred: Feb 16, 2011

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

Should that be :thor:, or :forsooth:?

:thorsooth:

# ? May 10, 2017 18:51

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Ghostlight posted:

[Avengers #11]

Spider-Man is suffering from microcephaly in that panel.

# ? May 10, 2017 19:07

Mile'ionaha: Nov 2, 2004

Mikl posted:

Sleepless Domain (it's a webcomic)

In this setting many girls have superpowers, which they use to fight monsters. While at school the protagonist Undine (blue-haired girl) is eating lunch with Heartful Punch, whose power is "punches things very hard".

I dunno, I and all of my casual lifting friends thought this was delightful.

Her super name should be Powdermancer, though. Or maybe PowderNancy

# ? May 10, 2017 21:59

That Ignorant Sap: Nov 20, 2010; YOU AIN'T LOOKIN' AT A
BUNCH OF RHINOS, HERE.

Brazilianpeanutwar posted:

That face is brilliant.

# ? May 10, 2017 22:47

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

Mile'ionaha posted:

I dunno, I and all of my casual lifting friends thought this was delightful.

Mary Cagle is delightful in general.

# ? May 10, 2017 22:48

Ygolonac

Nov 26, 2007

pre:

*************
CLUTCH  NIXON
*************

The Hero We Need

ImpAtom posted:

Jesus, Thor is pissed about the hair comment.

Just stick to calling him a beardless whelp.

# ? May 11, 2017 03:47

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

John Cassaday draws the poo poo out of classic Cap.

# ? May 11, 2017 03:50

Chinston Wurchill: Jun 27, 2010; It's not that kind of test.

Things that made me chuckle this week:

Star Wars - The Screaming Citadel 1

Rock Candy Mountain 2

Bug! The Adventures of Forager 1

Old Man Logan 23

# ? May 11, 2017 04:40

TwoPair: Mar 28, 2010; Pandamn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta; Grimey Drawer

Rhyno posted:

John Cassaday draws the poo poo out of classic Cap.

Forget Nazi Cap, this is definitely the much bigger travesty against Captain America in the past few years! This stupid push to redesign his costume to be all "realistic" and movie like. BRING BACK THE HEADWINGS!

# ? May 11, 2017 04:51