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"sir, i'm going to have to ask you to leave and come back with pants"
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 16:44 |
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*wears football gear and shades* "True to Caesar!"
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Sorry, sir, but I''m going to have to confiscate your weapons >Sure (hand over weapons) >Here you go (keep holdout weapons) >Over my dead body (attack)
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Thank you sir. May I have another? *whip*
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anyone been to vegas lately??? whats good there?? which buffet is the most bigly?? which prostitute will make your dick spin????
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prostitutes are illegal in Las Vegas
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*screaming at overweight midwestern family* IT'S PRONOUNCED KAISAR!!
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*screaming at Japanese tourists* IT'S PRONOUNCED KAISARU!!
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how are you? wanna do me a favor wanna take your feet off the table and put your shoes back on?
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*am gay *trying to convince management to change name to caesar's phallus
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Sir? Sir!? SIR! please remove your nutsack from the table.
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pizza pizza!
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*replenishes the massive steamtray of crab legs*
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*gets stabbed by like 20 dudes* Mondays...
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*has massive collection of prostitute advertisement cards*
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*oil rig workers cum elite astronauts waltz in and hog all the female attention*
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*crashes transport prison aircraft into hotel lobby and has final showdown with the bad guy* Put the bunny, back in the box....
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numberoneposter posted:*has massive collection of prostitute advertisement cards*
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*receive multiple blows to the skull for the entertainment of thousands of cheering maniacs*
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*Two days before his wedding, Doug (Justin Bartha) and three friends (Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis) drive to Las Vegas for a wild and memorable stag party. In fact, when the three groomsmen wake up the next morning, they can't remember a thing; nor can they find Doug. With little time to spare, the three hazy pals try to re-trace their steps and find Doug so they can get him back to Los Angeles in time to walk down the aisle.*
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I used to work in the Pussycat Dolls part of the casino, ama
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*fakes seizure from light show, gets workers comp, gambles it away at ceasars palace* ![]()
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Haverchuck posted:how are you? Before you go pointin' the dirty end of the stick at the boy, you better be sure you can prove them charges.
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*Did Caesar live here*?
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Oberleutnant posted:Sir? Sir!? SIR! please remove your nutsack from the table. "...Let it ride."
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sir you can not bet your unborn child you arnt even married
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*realizes that escape from las vegas is probably impossible* *contemplates suicide*
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Come pay, my lord
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*grows tired of banging cocktail waitresses*
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*wonders what it's like at luxor*
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Feel bad for anyone working at a Vegas casino just constant drunk idiots all the time
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Chinatown posted:*grows tired of banging cocktail waitresses* *remembers when he was just a young vietnamese card dealer and thought like this before he discovered figging*
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:*wonders what it's like at luxor* much worse. Do it ironically posted:Feel bad for anyone working at a Vegas casino just constant drunk idiots all the time idk I think it would be cool to be in a tipped position where there was at least the chance that some dude hits it big and in his clouded judgement pays off your student loans or whatever. It would be like gambling without risking anything (ignoring that you're gambling on your lung health in a Vegas casino). I am a degenerate gambler and have hung around plenty of them -- I've seen plenty of guys throw out hundreds if not thousands in tips in the course of a heater that they were not in a financial position to be giving away.
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*immediately puts Circus Circus employees resumes into shredder when they apply*
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*job is Security* *sits in the bathroom making sure the tourists don't rape any children*
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Doesn't Troposphere work at Cesar's Palace?
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*calls friends from the shitter because apparently it's normal to have a landline next to the can*
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*stares into the abyss of southwestern spices that is Bobby Flay's MESA* *ponders death from the sportsbook*
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Where did the myth that casinos offer free booze come from?
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# ? Jun 10, 2024 16:44 |
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Once my best friend and I ate at Mesa, she had an actual bug in her salad (with overspiced lamb) and the bug was dazed by the spices, like it was buzzed off its little bug mind. They gave us no comp for Mr. Beetle who stayed put for the waiter to see it and recoil in horror, and instead tried free gross creme brulees. I later barfed in the forum but not in the fountain even though it was her hopes and dreams I would hurf in the animatronic fountain (sorry) True stories from Caesar's palace!!
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