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Crabtree posted:Guys, I'm feeling kind of weird and out of it so I gotta ask - if the planets aligned to make it perfect, like legitimately good, how the hell would you go about making a live action Berserk movie? ... wait, if it's already going to be perfect, then why should it matter how it's made?
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May 15, 2017 23:38
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You start by casting Dave Bautista as Guts
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May 15, 2017 23:56
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Zero Mostel as the count. I'd think Griffin would be annoying to cast. Hunter Parrish? Mitch Hewer nearly looks 14. Of course Hayden Christensen was so whiny as Anakin, so that could work too. As Casca: Sarah Palin. Okay, okay, Winona Ryder. How boring. Now then, who makes the best Puck? PhantomOfTheCopier fucked around with this message at 00:23 on May 16, 2017 |
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May 16, 2017 00:07
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Martin Freeman.
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May 16, 2017 00:47
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The Rock as Guts. At the climax of the movie he punches out Femto, blasts through the eclipsed moon on a motorbike, and spontaneously breaks into a rendition of "Tell Me Why".
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May 16, 2017 01:14
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SatansBestBuddy posted:... wait, if it's already going to be perfect, then why should it matter how it's made? Because this has been a nightmare of mine for a long rear end time and I've never known if you should start like how the manga did and have a movie showing off Black Swordsman Guts killing Prostitute Apostle, Snake Baron and The Count to get people interested or save time and start from the Golden Age, I guess split it into three films and go from there. PhantomOfTheCopier posted:Zero Mostel as the count. Aw come on, we could at least make sure Casca is done right. The two big men of the movie are pale as poo poo!
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May 16, 2017 01:20
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skasion posted:The Rock as Guts. At the climax of the movie he punches out Femto, blasts through the eclipsed moon on a motorbike, and spontaneously breaks into a rendition of "Tell Me Why". Ain't gonna lie, this good idea is good. otaku means house. when they leave their house they are outside their zone and thus all bets are off. i was insinuating they might have eft traces of ectoplasm in the vicinty. I prefer using a lamp and maybe a pocket geiger counter to find the spots which might could use a spritz or two of lysol after an encounter. Metal Pink Babble fucked around with this message at 01:41 on May 16, 2017 |
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May 16, 2017 01:27
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The answer is "very carefully" you would do a live action Berserk very carefully.
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May 16, 2017 02:55
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Rock would actually need to slim down a little depending on what periods you cover.
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May 16, 2017 02:58
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Caution is overrated. If you were just making a single movie I don't think faithfulness to the series should even be much of a priority.
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May 16, 2017 03:03
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Just make it Fast and the Furious 9 but at the end Vin Diesel pulls out The Egg of the King. Ludacris is the Rickert, Rock is still Guts and Michelle Rodriguez is Casca Jason Statham is Zodd
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May 16, 2017 03:14
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Fumaofthelake posted:
I place my seal of approval on the dotted line. Please rush this to production!
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May 16, 2017 03:40
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If anything, Rock and/or Bautista could be Zodd.
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May 16, 2017 03:45
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If we're going more by "feel" and less on exact physical match, I'd cast Dan Stevens as Griffith. He has that charm, but can also play unhinged and threatening. Then Tom Hardy as Guts. And maybe Nathalie Emmanuel as Caska?
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May 16, 2017 04:08
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I'd give Casca to the Kravitz girl.
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May 16, 2017 04:11
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Metal Pink Babble posted:otaku means house. when they leave their house they are outside their zone and thus all bets are off. i was insinuating they might have eft traces of ectoplasm in the vicinty. I prefer using a lamp and maybe a pocket geiger counter to find the spots which might could use a spritz or two of lysol after an encounter. Are you on mescaline or something? PhantomOfTheCopier posted:
Would she have black face or something? Surely there's at least someone of a less transparent hue out there. (I adore Winona Ryder but cmon)
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May 16, 2017 04:13
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Scar Jo plays every roll A La Martin Lawrence in big momma's house
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May 16, 2017 04:16
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Ccs posted:If we're going more by "feel" and less on exact physical match, I'd cast Dan Stevens as Griffith. He has that charm, but can also play unhinged and threatening. I dig
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May 16, 2017 05:03
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Nuebot posted:So I've reached the Conviction Arc on my latest read through and every time I go through this dumb series I dislike the Golden Age more and more and like Conviction more each time. The arc with the Count is still my favorite for no particular reason, however. Yo the arc with the Count owns because you get poo poo like a psychotic Guts annilhating troops and that amazing part where he cuts that big rear end dude in half so hard the sword goes through the loving pillar standing behind the guy and everyone is just  and peaces the gently caress outta there, the count just isn't paying enough to deal with this poo pooYou also have that part where he's first confronted by the guards and the one dude tries to block one of the strikes and miura draws the dudes eyes in this helmet like  as the dragon slayer just effortlessly begins to pass through his sword like a knife through butterWhat I'm saying is you're right to love that chapter, Berserk loving owns
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May 16, 2017 08:04
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If we're doing a live action Berserk, obviously we have to recreate the eclipse For Real, or the audience will be numb to it. It ain't berserk without massive amounts of human suffering after all.
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May 16, 2017 08:48
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Griffith definitely needs to look a little otherworldly from day one. Dude is destined to become a god, after all.
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May 16, 2017 12:03
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Tuxedo Catfish posted:Caution is overrated. If you were just making a single movie I don't think faithfulness to the series should even be much of a priority. If you were going to make a single movie, I'm not sure you should even bother. The story doesn't have a lot of good "complete" arcs that would stand fine on it's own. Like, even if you do the golden age arc from it's beginning up through Chuder's defeat in the 100 year war, you'd have to really work the visual majesty angle in order to sell it as anything more than a kinda good-but-not-extraordinary medieval action story. Alternately you could do any of the stand-alone Black Swordsman arcs and just hint at what happened to make Guts such an rear end in a top hat. The result would be like a cross between a western, a fantasy movie, and a slasher flick. And again, they'd have to sell it 100% on style because there wouldn't be enough room to put in the meat of any really good story poo poo.
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May 16, 2017 12:28
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If there had to be one movie, any chapter in the the Black Swordsman arc would be great. Any other arc is too long to be coherent or satisfying.Tuxedo Catfish posted:Caution is overrated. If you were just making a single movie I don't think faithfulness to the series should even be much of a priority.
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May 16, 2017 13:54
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temple posted:It would be generic hollywood action film and defeat the purpose of being a Berserk movie. No, it wouldn't. The hypothetical explicitly specifies that it's perfect. I'm just saying that, given you can't fit all of Berserk into 90 minutes, it had better be a perfect single movie about a man killing demons with a very large sword that isn't slavishly devoted to something it isn't going to be either way.
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May 16, 2017 14:40
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ya the perfect hollywood berserk movie is just the very beginning, from snake guy to the count
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May 16, 2017 15:02
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There's no way for Berserk to happen as a Hollywood action movie. It's too long to be made as anything short of a big money trilogy, and too niche and bloody to become that. So the best you could hope for is a skilled adaptation of a portion of the story. For that Black Swordsman is your best bet, with Conviction maybe working if you cut out the Egg and other stuff that sets up future things.
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May 16, 2017 15:10
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What about a TV show like Game of Thrones? Golden Age arc would be a good fit I imagine.
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May 16, 2017 15:32
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Paul Blart but he has his right eye closed.
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May 16, 2017 15:33
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Same except his left eye, making the eye thing the most complained about thing rather than everything else.
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May 16, 2017 16:06
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The eye alternates between scenes, as does his prosthetic leg.
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May 16, 2017 16:10
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I think the best single arc to adapt would be the misty valley/lost children or whatever it's called. Lots of good fights and you've got the girl as an audience stand in to explain poo poo to.
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May 16, 2017 20:37
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Berserk is a hard enough sell without focusing on the arc where the villain is a demonic, nude preteen
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May 16, 2017 20:59
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Tilda Swinton for Griffith.
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May 17, 2017 01:07
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Zeruel posted:Tilda Swinton for Griffith. Unironically thinking this earlier.
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May 17, 2017 01:26
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skasion posted:Berserk is a hard enough sell without focusing on the arc where the villain is a demonic, nude preteen You can age her up and tweak the design a bit. The Count arc would be good too, although the scene with the Godhand at the end makes it way more confusing and messy. I think the key to a self contained Berserk movie would be getting across what an apostle is and how they are ultimately born from human weakness. The Snake apostle wouldn't be as good because he's so 1 dimensional.
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May 17, 2017 01:45
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7c Nickel posted:You can age her up and tweak the design a bit. The snake guy only needs to be the starting ten minutes. Little starting context.
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May 17, 2017 04:30
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7c Nickel posted:You can age her up and tweak the design a bit. Even with that, there is the fact that the hero murders a truckload of children. Children turned into demons, sure, but still a bit edgy for Hollywood. I guess they could age them all up, but "Valley of Lost 20-somethings" doesn't quite have the same ring to it. Don't get me wrong, I think Valley is a great story and one of my favourite bits of Berserk, but it's also the least likely to get the Hollywood treatment. They'd make Guts's Infinite Boat Adventure before that.
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May 17, 2017 11:06
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Valley of the Millenials e: The Millenial Falcon Arc
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May 17, 2017 11:10
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[Can we also get Guillermo Del Toro involved in all this wishful thinking?
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May 17, 2017 20:16
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Schubalts posted:[Can we also get Guillermo Del Toro involved in all this wishful thinking? So he can start another project on top of the hundreds he wants to but will never complete? Sounds like a perfect fit
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May 17, 2017 21:57
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