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fits
Jan 1, 2008

Love Always,
The Captain
Firebrand John McCain Demands Immediate Investigation Into Why He Remaining Complicit

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The MSJ
May 17, 2010

74 Normal Photos and 2 Kinda Weird Ones

Omnomnomnivore
Nov 14, 2010

I'm swiftly moving toward a solution which pleases nobody! YEAGGH!
Welcome To PatriotHole, The Only Viral Media Site Brave Enough To SCREAM About REAL Americans

An Abortion Doctor So Sexual That Your Daughter Gets Horny For A Third-Term Procedure? Believe It. His Name Is Ahmed.

Hell Yes, Baby, It Is The Special Choo-Choo Medicine Called Coal! The Patriotic Vegetable That Comes From Mountains!!!

ZDar Fan
Oct 15, 2012

What The Mainstream Media Won’t Tell You: 16 Years Ago, Radical Islamic Terrorists Crashed Airplanes Into The World Trade Center, Killing Thousands Of Hardworking Americans

Arist
Feb 13, 2012

who, me?


Fellatio del Toro
Mar 21, 2009


Why is this so loving funny to me

Horace Kinch
Aug 15, 2007

This Might Not Be ‘Politically Correct’ Enough For You Overly Sensitive Social Justice Warriors, But All Of The Planets Are Men

SimonChris
Apr 24, 2008

The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.
Grimey Drawer
The 5 Hottest Guys In The Handmaid’s Tale You Didn’t Even Notice Because That’s Not What It’s About Jesus Christ

catlord
Mar 22, 2009

What's on your mind, Axa?
Gatsby-Themed Wedding Ideas That Say, 'I Didn't Read the Book'

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

How to Be a Work Who Sometimes Womans by StacyBot

quote:

These days, being a work who sometimes womans is a hard balance. When you’re a full-time work, how can you make time later to be a boss bitch woman on the weekend too? The answer – this bad work bitch only try her work best. If you’re struggling to achieve some New Balance Classics sneakers on sale $69.99, here’s how to be a work while also do the womans.

clown shoes
Jul 17, 2004

Nothing but clowns down here.

Earth must be a woman because so many people are trying to gently caress it.

This Patriothole thing feels like a precursor for a new conservative satirical site.

Lysidas
Jul 26, 2002

John Diefenbaker is a madman who thinks he's John Diefenbaker.
Pillbug
The Gentle Giant: 5 Times Human Skyscraper Mike Pence Used His Titanic Strength To Help The American Worker

NoEyedSquareGuy
Mar 16, 2009

Just because Liquor's dead, doesn't mean you can just roll this bitch all over town with "The Freedoms."
Here Are 4 Pics Of The Nasty Prez O-BUMPER Dipping His BUNGLER’S FINGERS In People’s SOUP AND MILK In Order To DESTROY LUNCH For All America

quote:

His NASTY BUNGLER’S FINGERS come sneaking through her window like SNAKES IN THE NIGHT.

StandardVC10
Feb 6, 2007

This avatar now 50% more dark mode compliant
The Onion gets just slightly horrifying. Hundreds of Miniature Sean Hannitys Burst from Roger Ailes' Corpse

doctorfrog
Mar 14, 2007

Great.


quote:

Create a womans-friendly corporate culture.

If all else fails, just boss of company and create a womans-friendly corporate culture. It’s simple as suddenly becoming CEO, then letting employees know it okay to be a womans even at the office and Expect Great Things at Kohls free shipping over $75 WOW! Doing this lets your team know you prioritize your womans-time and so they can too. #KonMari.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Between that and Obama's fingers up there I'm pretty grossed out right now

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(
http://www.theonion.com/article/dnc...SocialMarketing

He lives! And he is happy, at last, good for him.

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

clown shoes posted:

This Patriothole thing feels like a precursor for a new conservative satirical site.
Either that or they bought stock in Literally Unbelievable.

susan b buffering
Nov 14, 2016

https://twitter.com/PatriotHole/status/865577913256525824

shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---
The Onion is doing a Facebook live video right now, about how they've obtained hundreds documents from a source in the White House. It's glorious, they are all here: http://www.theonion.com/trumpdocuments.

shut up blegum has a new favorite as of 18:54 on May 22, 2017

SpiderHyphenMan
Apr 1, 2010

by Fluffdaddy

shut up blegum posted:

The Onion is doing a Facebook live video right now, about how they've obtained hundreds documents from a source in the White House. It's glorious, they are all here: http://www.theonion.com/trumpdocuments.
Your link to this treasure trove is broken
Here y'all go.
I decrypted the Russia exchange.

flynn has device moscow is pleased
device preparations complete initiate phase one
please stop discussing your inauguration crowd
focus donald
ensure flynn and device protected from info leaks
once again please drop the inauguration crowd size issue seriously jesus christ
what are you doing you loving idiot
urgent flynn and device in danger
flynn and device must not be exposed
please stop obsessing over morning joe
if morning joe is bothering you we can kill them
try focusing on one simple thing for fucks sake
like not firing michael flynn
code five emergency flynn and device have gone rogue
scorched earth protocol initiated
may god forgive us for what weve done
this is all your fault you illiterate pervert

SpiderHyphenMan has a new favorite as of 18:35 on May 22, 2017

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008



I love Spicer's daily schedule, too.

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
The Spicer letters to Wilbur tell an amazing story.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


I managed to briefly fool someone into thinking this was a real dump on Facebook. It was a good day.

Maxwells Demon
Jan 15, 2007


Stephen Miller's letters on torture methods are classic Onion.

Inspector Gesicht
Oct 26, 2012

500 Zeus a body.


Guinness Releases Abridged Book Of Freaks For Readers Who Just Want The Good Stuff

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008



:holymoley:

Gizmo Chicken
Feb 17, 2011

Yep.
Heartbreaking: Hibachi Chef Tries To Make Meal On A Regular Table

:smith:

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009



Sad Kevin is branching out I see.

Omnomnomnivore
Nov 14, 2010

I'm swiftly moving toward a solution which pleases nobody! YEAGGH!

I just noticed the little sign that says "Earth". :lol:

Echo Chamber
Oct 16, 2008

best username/post combo
According to a The New Yorker article, The Onion is going keep "releasing" these documents for the next two weeks.

I have a lot of printing credits at work that are set to expire in a month. Once they're done, I'm going to print them all out.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


This is beautiful.

morallyobjected
Nov 3, 2012
‘The Onion’ Invites Republican Candidate Greg Gianforte To Physically Assault Our Entire Editorial Staff

The Onion is too good for this world.


The Onion posted:

To further clarify just how he may treat our journalists, we ask that Mr. Gianforte refer to the following list of attacks that we have approved for his use, either individually or in combination, against any member of The Onion staff:

Slap
Kick
Punch to face
Punch to abdomen
Punch to back of head
Throw to ground
Chokehold
Hit with heavy object
Throat stomp
Grab by hair and smash face into tabletop
Suplex

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Was The COWARD Roger Ailes Not Conservative Enough To Keep From Dying? Here’s Why Your Fox News ‘Hero’ Is Actually A Leftist Corpse.

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Saying Goodbye: Man Finally Turns All 50 Pictures Of Jared Fogle In His House Toward The Wall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGTzKFX1oN0

Smirking_Serpent
Aug 27, 2009

Guys, we have a problem!

https://assets2.onionstatic.com/onion/custom/trump-docs/scans/00-Shut-Down/0-EO_Onion_shutdown_SCAN.pdf

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy
RIP Onion. Trump fragrance can not fill the hole that's left behind.

Social Studies 3rd Period
Oct 31, 2012

THUNDERDOME LOSER



https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/868151012674211840

:ohdear:

egon_beeblebrox
Mar 1, 2008

WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.



Can't wait to see how Stan Kelly handles being charged with treason.

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Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Panic Floods Mike Pence’s System Before Realizing Hand On Knee His Own

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