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McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

Fojar38 posted:

Time Magazine from 2005 or 2015? you decide

It says China's 60th anniversary, so it's clearly from 2940 BC.

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simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


Worth it

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Fojar38 posted:

actually nah gavin menzies at least claimed it happened in 1421 or some poo poo

he is actually saner than that poster

There's a Chinese wine brand called 1421. It is hilarious.

HerStuddMuffin
Aug 10, 2014

YOSPOS

Private Speech posted:

From a while back, but not sleeping with crazy Chinese virgin girls in their mid 20s is a really good idea.

Don't make the same mistake as me Haier.

e: casual stabbing threats were among the more sane results

Quoting from the bottom of last page because gently caress it, crazy stories are the best part of this thread and it needs more of that and less lovely hot pot chat. Here's all that needs to be said about hot pot: boiled meat is spoiled meat.
So please, post your story, or stories.

Dr.Radical
Apr 3, 2011
Hey y'all guess what I had for dinner tonight

SaltyJesus
Jun 2, 2011

Arf!
those pork strips in brown sauce because they're good and not hot pot?

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
"I MUST BE THE FIRST PERSON OFF THE TRAIN. RIGHT loving NOW! I WILL BE THE FIRST TO GET OFF THIS loving TRAIN, DON'T DOUBT ME!!!"
*Train arrives. Doors open. Guy takes one small step out of the doors and stops, blocking people behind him from exiting*
"MAYBE THIS ISN'T MY STOP. BETTER STAND HERE AND NOT MOVE AT ALL UNTIL EVERYBODY HAS SHOVED PAST ME."
*Tsks loudly as exiting people bump into him while he blocks the exit.*

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
To change the food chat, here is my 11 RMB dinner ($1.60 USD, $1.43 EUR, $2.16 CAN).



Very oniony, but worth the price. It was really big, that piece of tofu is like the size of an iPhone.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


I made yakisoba. I am not sure exactly how much it cost to make.

Porfiriato
Jan 4, 2016


Haier posted:

"I MUST BE THE FIRST PERSON OFF THE TRAIN. RIGHT loving NOW! I WILL BE THE FIRST TO GET OFF THIS loving TRAIN, DON'T DOUBT ME!!!"
*Train arrives. Doors open. Guy takes one small step out of the doors and stops, blocking people behind him from exiting*
"MAYBE THIS ISN'T MY STOP. BETTER STAND HERE AND NOT MOVE AT ALL UNTIL EVERYBODY HAS SHOVED PAST ME."
*Tsks loudly as exiting people bump into him while he blocks the exit.*

Come now, there are few things in China more richly satisfying than giving these people the forearm shiver to the back that they deserve when you exit the train behind them.

Porfiriato fucked around with this message at 14:16 on May 21, 2017

Private Speech
Mar 30, 2011

I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.


e: nm

Private Speech fucked around with this message at 15:38 on May 21, 2017

Dr.Radical
Apr 3, 2011
Sounds healthy.

Also it was obvious but I had HOT POT for dinner. Japanese style, nabe. It was kimchi flavored. Not bad at all!

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
Ok, so.... I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, because I don't want to make fun... but holy poo poo.

http://www.fishingcairns.com.au/page8-2.html

quote:

Ciguatera is a poisoning resulting from eating certain fish in particular environments in the Indian Ocean, Pacific Ocean, and The Caribbean.

The poison occurs naturally in algae and plankton, the lower part of the marine food chain. The little fish eat the algae, the big fish eat the little fish, the bigger fish eat the big fish and so on. The effects of the poison are related to the dose you get, so the bigger the fish, the more IT has eaten, and the sicker YOU get.
...
Tingling or itching in the extremities may persist for weeks and be set off by exposure to water or cold. Disturbance of sensation may occur elsewhere in the body, including severe stabbing pain in the genitals (sorry guys!).

Heaviness, weakness, and muscle pains of the body, legs and arms, and a lack of co-ordination may also occur. Gut symptoms of nausea, vomiting, pain in tummy, cramps, abnormal metallic taste, aching of the teeth and a watery diarrhoea may occur. Tightness in the jaw and face muscles have been described.

Tiredness, dizziness and exhaustion may occur and even paralysis of breathing so that life support is required. Alcohol makes the symptoms worse.

No immunity develops after an attack, and in fact the second time around a much smaller dose is required to produce symptoms.

Can it be fatal?
The death rate world wide is reported to be 10-12%; however in Australia it is exceptionally low. It is usually not fatal, although there is a report of 1500 men dying from ciguatera poisoning during the British naval expedtion against Mauritius in 1748

Avoidance
It is not possible to detect the toxin before eating the fish, which appear quite healthy and the taste and smell of the flesh is not affected.

http://www.emedicinehealth.com/wilderness_ciguatera_toxin/article_em.htm

quote:

Ciguatera is a foodborn illness (food poisoning) caused by eating fish that is contaminated by ciguatera toxin. Ciguatera toxin is a heat-stable lipid soluble compound, produced by dinoflagellates and concentrated in fish organs, that can cause nausea, pain, cardiac, and neurological symptoms in humans when ingested.

The toxin may be found concentrated in large reef fish, most commonly barracuda, grouper, red snapper, eel, amberjack, sea bass, and Spanish mackerel.
...
The toxin is odorless and tasteless, and cooking does not destroy the toxin.
Eating ciguatera-contaminated tropical or subtropical fish is the main way that humans are exposed to the toxin.
The toxin activates voltage-dependent sodium channels causing symptoms in human (and other mammals) gastrointestinal, cardiac, and nerve tissues.

So with that introduction...

Two days ago


Today


He ate (unknowingly) poisoned fish at a Japanese restaurant. Had to go stay in the hospital for symptoms. Passed away last night or early this morning. My friend is destroyed.

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

The sea is finally sick of putting up with China's poo poo:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMDtibc13fc

caberham
Mar 18, 2009

by Smythe
Grimey Drawer
MY STEVESTON???!!!!!???

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

caberham posted:

MY STEVESTON???!!!!!???

Yup.

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4
Very surprised that man jumped in. Also it is a pleasure in any bustling city to shove / body check any old person, tourist or general slow person aside coming out of a subway or walking down the street.

To maximize being a scumbag, when I have to go to work in the morning I'm especially cruel and shovey. I'm sure some tourist somewhere hates NYC because I shove past while they gormlessly stare with their enormous backpack (that they don't take off and put on the ground of the train, as is courteous.)

Darkest Auer
Dec 30, 2006

They're silly

Ramrod XTreme

Haier posted:

To change the food chat, here is my 11 RMB dinner ($1.60 USD, $1.43 EUR, $2.16 CAN).



Very oniony, but worth the price. It was really big, that piece of tofu is like the size of an iPhone.

Do you actually like 土豆丝? I know this is pretty close to hot pot chat, but raw potato is pretty terrible.

vanity slug
Jul 20, 2010

It's not raw, though, and it has a pleasant texture if properly stir-fried.

VideoTapir
Oct 18, 2005

He'll tire eventually.
What's the Huizhou money?

Darkest Auer
Dec 30, 2006

They're silly

Ramrod XTreme

Jeoh posted:

It's not raw, though, and it has a pleasant texture if properly stir-fried.

It is raw and the "pleasant texture" is actually you eating raw potato without realizing it

Gargamel Gibson
Apr 24, 2014

VideoTapir posted:

What's the Huizhou money?

He dead

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
The TPP is back folks right behind Trump's back. The US isn't rejoining at this time but the door will remain open.

http://www.bbc.com/news/39990686

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
I'm not sure how appetizing the deal is without the US market as the massive carrot

GoutPatrol
Oct 17, 2009

*Stupid Babby*

Glenn Quebec posted:

Very surprised that man jumped in. Also it is a pleasure in any bustling city to shove / body check any old person, tourist or general slow person aside coming out of a subway or walking down the street.

To maximize being a scumbag, when I have to go to work in the morning I'm especially cruel and shovey. I'm sure some tourist somewhere hates NYC because I shove past while they gormlessly stare with their enormous backpack (that they don't take off and put on the ground of the train, as is courteous.)

That's because it is in BC.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




oohhboy posted:

The TPP is back folks right behind Trump's back. The US isn't rejoining at this time but the door will remain open.

http://www.bbc.com/news/39990686

"The president made a decision, that I certainly agree with, that bilateral negotiations are better for the United States than multilateral negotiations."

Didn't China say the same thing about dealing with nations in the south china sea? LOL.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
I don't get trying to live frugally in china at all.

Everything is super cheap, they pay you a lot, and its basically all monopoly money.

Even if you save a bunch of it up, its not worth much real money when you go back home anyway.


The Great Autismo!
Mar 3, 2007

by Fluffdaddy

hakimashou posted:

I don't get trying to live frugally in china at all.

Everything is super cheap, they pay you a lot, and its basically all monopoly money.

Even if you save a bunch of it up, its not worth much real money when you go back home anyway.

up your game bro

Fauxtool
Oct 21, 2008

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

hakimashou posted:

I don't get trying to live frugally in china at all.

Everything is super cheap, they pay you a lot, and its basically all monopoly money.

Even if you save a bunch of it up, its not worth much real money when you go back home anyway.

I said the same thing in zimbabwe, like hello how can you be poor when you have so much money

Amergin
Jan 29, 2013

THE SOUND A WET FART MAKES

Known Lecher posted:

No, he's right, this is one of the eight or twelve "Valentine's Days" that China has every year now and arguably the most bullshit made-up one of them all.

Today is May 20, and if you say the numbers out 五二零 is "wu er ling".

"I love you" is 我爱你, "wo ai ni" and apparently if you stuff you ears full of cotton, squint a bit, and kill off a generous portion of your brain cells, "wu er ling" somehow sounds like "wo ai ni".

Ergo, Valentine's Day. QED.

Really late but FWIW this comes from pagers, which in China was like 10 years ago (that may just be backwater Kunming though).

Also if y'all are going to digress into China foodchat do the international kanrenao crowd a service and do it right. Like I just had these chicken wings last night that had cured duck egg yolks mashed into the breading and it was loving phenomenal and now I want to open up a wing shop in the US just to take hipsters' money.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


hakimashou posted:

I don't get trying to live frugally in china at all.

Everything is super cheap, they pay you a lot, and its basically all monopoly money.

Even if you save a bunch of it up, its not worth much real money when you go back home anyway.

Congrats on not having student loans.

BCR
Jan 23, 2011

:china:
Can't eat the fish, the water has poisoned the food chain.
Can't eat pork because the pigs get a lunch of last resort antibiotics and steroids
Can't eat chicken because the chooks are eating garbage
Can't eat the beef because the cows get force fed last resort antibiotics and steroids
Can't eat the vegetables because sprinkled with heavy metal water and human poo poo.

Can maybe eat some of the :airquote: organic vegetables :airquote: because less heavy metals and pollution.
Can drink beer but will have residual heavy metals in it.

Come to China to lose weight, have your hair fall out and be an alcoholic.

LentThem
Aug 31, 2004

90% Retractible

Haier posted:

To change the food chat, here is my 11 RMB dinner ($1.60 USD, $1.43 EUR, $2.16 CAN).



Very oniony, but worth the price. It was really big, that piece of tofu is like the size of an iPhone.

are you in a cafeteria

Ichabod Tane
Oct 30, 2005

A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.


https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4
I fully believe that Haier lives a strange and self enforced austere lifestyle.


So yes it's a cafeteria because he's cheap as dirt.

Stringent
Dec 22, 2004


image text goes here
Some ppl just don't like food. Since everyone has to eat they find other ways of making it interesting, finding the cheapest food available being a really common one.

Amergin
Jan 29, 2013

THE SOUND A WET FART MAKES

Stringent posted:

Some ppl just don't like food. Since everyone has to eat they find other ways of making it interesting, finding the cheapest food available being a really common one.

If you don't like food this is the wrong country to be in.

To be fair I know Haier is leaving soon and looking forward to it.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax

LentThem posted:

are you in a cafeteria

Glenn Quebec posted:

I fully believe that Haier lives a strange and self enforced austere lifestyle.


So yes it's a cafeteria because he's cheap as dirt.
I live just fine. I have a habit of adopting local tendencies regarding prices when I live somewhere.

When you put it that way, it was a cafeteria. I hadn't eaten dinner yet, and it was right before the dinner rush since Chinese are programmed to eat meals at the exact same time. I was debating on going home to cook, having a Slurpee from 711, or walking into whatever looks okay and clean and ordering something. There is a chain of these cafeteria things with fixed prices over the sections. I walked in, saw it was not full of people, and got a plate.
It tasted pretty good, and I still got the Slurpee anyway.

There was a Subway nearby, and one lone white guy in cargo shorts was Eating Fresh and looking sad. I wonder what the prices on those garbage sandwiches are in this country.

Grand Fromage posted:

Congrats on not having student loans.
This.


EDIT: This is how y'all think I look:

Haier fucked around with this message at 04:22 on May 22, 2017

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Haier posted:

There was a Subway nearby, and one lone white guy in cargo shorts was Eating Fresh and looking sad. I wonder what the prices on those garbage sandwiches are in this country.

They're like 30-40 I think? I haven't been to one in a while, when I first came to Chengdu it was the only option for a sandwich that wasn't literal garbage but now there are others. Also you can buy cold cuts and real bread and stuff now. :eyepop:

Jimmy Little Balls
Aug 23, 2009
I haven't been to one for ages either but there was one near my old house and it was 30 for a footlong. The manager there was in love with me I think, he'd always give me a free drink, cookies, crisps.

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Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Grand Fromage posted:

They're like 30-40 I think? I haven't been to one in a while, when I first came to Chengdu it was the only option for a sandwich that wasn't literal garbage but now there are others. Also you can buy cold cuts and real bread and stuff now. :eyepop:

truly chinas ascent to modern global superpower status is unstoppable

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