|
does anybody have some Pappy MacFarland's Joints and Rheumatism Wonder Tonic? It's got opium in it and I want some snipe
|
# ? May 24, 2017 01:27 |
|
|
# ? May 15, 2024 03:42 |
|
*Hires armed thugs to murder small ranchers so I can buy their land and close it off* *The President has to send in the Cavalry so I don't get shot.* *Am never charged with a crime and win anyway*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 01:30 |
|
*shoots an indian cause he's an indian* *shoots a black man cause he's black* *shoots a mormon cause he's an rear end in a top hat* *shoots a white man cause he owns a nicer watch* *gets shot by the preacher man cause he's the rowdiest mother fucker in town*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 01:46 |
|
Theres still injuns in these parts, I reckon that we KICK OUT THE JAMS MOTHERFUCKER!!!
|
# ? May 24, 2017 01:54 |
|
*keeps knocking up the old lady so we can have more workers around the farm*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 01:55 |
|
Sitting at the saloon holding playing cards doing this:
|
# ? May 24, 2017 01:57 |
|
Pug Rodeo posted:Sitting at the saloon holding playing cards doing this: *Peeks at his cards and looks at you blank-faced* Raise 50.
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:07 |
|
Captain Lavender posted:*bone tomahawks a guy* *bones a tomahawk guy*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:09 |
|
*Meets some of the locals smoking tobacco near a fire* *Sits down and they share they pipe with me* *** "Wait a minute, this isn't tobacco..."
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:11 |
|
EorayMel posted:*Meets some of the locals smoking tobacco near a fire* Wait a minute, gimme that. *sniff* Yep. That's jenkum.
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:24 |
|
Antiquated Pants posted:Watch out for snakes. That was from the 1960s
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:27 |
|
That Robot posted:That was from the 1960s The real cowboys of the sixties weren't in the south they were in Detroit and they were called the MC5. And what was their call to arms? KICK OUT THE JAMS MOTHER FUCKER
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:31 |
|
There's a snake in my boot!
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:32 |
|
This thread makes the old west sound kinda fun
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:41 |
|
*is the obligatory highly educated cowboy who relies on Latin, calculus, Shakespeare, and classical music to resolve most conflicts, thereby heightening the drama when actual weapons are used* *fails to convince anyone that cowboys were anything more than ignorant, overly romanticized itinerant workers with really cool hats and boots* *composed the original post while in an opium den, apparently* *edits post with Bowie knife* Marv Hushman fucked around with this message at 03:09 on May 24, 2017 |
# ? May 24, 2017 02:57 |
|
Marv Hushman posted:*is the obligatory highly educated cowboy who relies on Latin, calculus, Shakespeare, and classical music to resolve most conflicts, thereby heightening the drama when actual weapons are used, and generally just not convincing anyone that cowboys were anything more than ignorant, overly romanticized itinerant workers with really cool hats and boots* I'm your huckleberry
|
# ? May 24, 2017 02:57 |
|
I'm a cowboy baaaaaby
|
# ? May 24, 2017 03:07 |
|
Missing Persons Tom "Huckleberry" Findlay Last seen near Devil's creek on the Twenty-First of May. Please help us find our beloved brother Huck. He is a slow boy prone to bouts of confusion and will wander off. He usually comes callin' back on the ranch by sundown, but he's been missing these two days now. Huck may approach an unfamiliar lady or gentleman and claim that he is "theirs." It's important he be found before such a time as he can be dangerous if you actually do take him with your person on your travels, as poor Mrs. Jones found out four moons past. If you see Huck, please send for Sherrif Joe Arpaio to wrangle him back.
|
# ? May 24, 2017 03:08 |
|
*has nine kids* *five die from The Rickets* *two get stole by the Apaches* *blows brains out after wife leaves me and shacks up with the town drunk*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 03:17 |
|
*tomahawks a guys bone*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 03:34 |
|
*dies* *gets reincarnated in the machine under the park* *dies again* *repeats*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 03:50 |
|
*is 100% White, Identifies as a Native American*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 03:51 |
|
*bones a guys tomahawk*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 05:05 |
|
*become town drunk currently cuckolding some dudes fertile wife* *oddly enough town drunk is a heriditary position like king or doggystyle*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 05:25 |
|
*kills hundreds of native americans* *is rewarded with money, land, and status* *establishes multi generational wealth because of it*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 05:30 |
|
*Ambles into general store, backlit halo of sunlight though door.* "Reckon I could use some saddle wax and talcum powder" winking, non-sexually.
|
# ? May 24, 2017 05:30 |
|
*pours shot* No black, no gays... *takes a huge drag off a cigarette, leans back and tips hat down over eyes* No jews.
|
# ? May 24, 2017 05:33 |
|
Marv Hushman posted:*is the obligatory highly educated cowboy who relies on Latin, calculus, Shakespeare, and classical music to resolve most conflicts, thereby heightening the drama when actual weapons are used*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 05:37 |
|
Marv Hushman posted:*is the obligatory highly educated cowboy who relies on Latin, calculus, Shakespeare, and classical music to resolve most conflicts, thereby heightening the drama when actual weapons are used* "Didnt you hear what the barkeep said after he said 'no blacks'?"
|
# ? May 24, 2017 05:43 |
|
I bet I could get good boots that fit.
|
# ? May 24, 2017 07:19 |
|
*spits tobacco infused spit into a cup* Heh, I ain't got time to bleed lol
|
# ? May 24, 2017 07:20 |
|
I.C. posted:I bet I could get good boots that fit. yon corpse is a wearin' yer size... *forces self to drop trailing g's and substitute leading a's. dang, missed those two. wait, what is the syntax here, why don't you drop the g in dang, i'm so confused*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 11:47 |
|
*Diet consists entirely of beans, meat and whiskey* I feel like poo poo all the time, I wonder why?
|
# ? May 24, 2017 12:32 |
|
*drives time traveling car from 1985, leaves in a cave*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 12:36 |
|
*busts out jar of salsa made in NEW YORK CITY*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 12:48 |
|
I got on 6 pairs of undergarments and a full length dress and am stirring a hot pot of beans in 100 degree weather over an open fire.
|
# ? May 24, 2017 12:55 |
|
*fiddles, dances* *never sleeps, never dies*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 13:04 |
|
Jukeboxblues posted:*spits tobacco infused spit into a cup* i'm pretty bored, i bet i would have plenty of time to bleed *stabs self* yep! wow, look at'er go! woo doggie!
|
# ? May 24, 2017 13:05 |
|
*smashes the patriarchy*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 13:11 |
|
|
# ? May 15, 2024 03:42 |
|
*Is just pawn in game of life*
|
# ? May 24, 2017 13:13 |