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Fake gay goon, you should do all of the things your gal friend asks. The bachelorette party, be the man/maid of honor, and give the speech. Just power through it all. However, when giving the speech, finish with, "Oh, and I'm not gay and never have been. Love you (bride's name)!!" It would be a Wedding Crashers type moment and much hilarity will ensue. Please send in another confession and tell us how it went.
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May 25, 2017 01:19
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Anton Chigurh posted:Fake gay goon, you should do all of the things your gal friend asks. The bachelorette party, be the man/maid of honor, and give the speech. Just power through it all. this is a good plan quote:I'm super goddamn lonely but too scared to do anything to change it. How about "get a hobby" Those are a good way to meet people quote:I'm a relatively fit, intelligent guy in his mid 20s. I went to college and got a degree in Electrical Engineering. I take care of myself and look alright, and could have a good life. But I don't. yeah dude you of course realize there is no actual reason you have to keep doing this at this point
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May 25, 2017 02:53
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Solice Kirsk posted:I no the problem. Totally forgot that therapy goon hasn't dated a ton and never had a ton of guy friends so wasn't aware of the crazy/hot scale. Thank goodness this scientician put together a video summing it up for the layman: How did I miss this, this is amazing.
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May 25, 2017 03:09
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Garage-bro goon, you'll never cure that loneliness unless you get around people more. Find an interest/club/place and go hang out for a while. It's easier to talk to (and be talked to) if there's a common interest. After a couple visits, randos will start to recognize you and strike up a dialogue with you. Start small, but just be around some peeps. You'll end up meeting new ones through those casual peeps, then just keep riding that wave. if this is you *the angriest goon-gamer I know*, I'll hang if I ever make it to your corner of hell/Florida.
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May 25, 2017 03:32
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It's hard man. I realized one night that I come home, and did nothing but enjoy my freedom for 2-3 hours a night unless my girlfriend was here. I joined/started doing one activity a week and noticed it's really helping. After about two months, I'm invited to stuff to do on the weekends, and have at least one or two things to do during the week at night. It takes time and effort, and doubly so if you are older. I know we shitpost a lot on this very alive and popular straight forum but adult friendships are hard and take work. I wish you the best of luck!
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May 25, 2017 04:18
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Pick an outdoor hobby to try. Hiking, biking, surfing, even just basketball or something. The vitamin d will make you happier even if youre still alone
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May 25, 2017 04:20
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loquacius posted:Tbf if it was real I don't think anyone around would take him seriously enough to publish his fake name in the local paper or whatever, but he'd take himself seriously enough to brag about it Nah, you grab the guy from behind with a taser, loosely zip tie a black bag over his head, handcuff him and dump him in your trunk. Then, drive to the geographic center of America, conveniently located in the Midwest. Pull him out, cut his clothes off, take his ID, and jam an extra large buttplug in his rear end. Fun times with the first few motorists and then the State Trooper that find him. gently caress him for waking me or my kid up at night in his misguided adventure land. Wait, this is anonymous, right?
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May 25, 2017 05:38
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usually i just play "gently caress the police" on my car stereo
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May 25, 2017 05:59
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"I'm going to put on the lingerie I know he likes: it hides the track marks"
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May 25, 2017 08:44
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Did anyone notice that cheating wife goon says he was using his wife's Laptop and a message popping up on its screen, but then he starts talking about text messages and contacts list which is clearly referring to a phone? I'm calling bullshit, fake story that was going to be about emails but then the writer changed their mind and forgot to change the opening explanation.
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May 25, 2017 12:17
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But her emails
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May 25, 2017 12:22
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Kim Jong ill posted:Did anyone notice that cheating wife goon says he was using his wife's Laptop and a message popping up on its screen, but then he starts talking about text messages and contacts list which is clearly referring to a phone? I'm calling bullshit, fake story that was going to be about emails but then the writer changed their mind and forgot to change the opening explanation. All it would take for this to make sense is for her to be a Mac user. OSX/iOS have text message integration -- I think it only works with their dumb proprietary SMS clone, but I might be wrong on that. There are also ways to get that integration using Windows/Android -- I use Pushbullet, for example -- but just her being a Mac user is the most likely explanation.
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May 25, 2017 12:26
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got any sevens posted:But her emails Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up! Wait, what?
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May 25, 2017 12:34
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Theophany posted:Lock her up! Lock her up! Lock her up! Well she did talk about premeditated murder, so not out of the realm of possibility.
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May 25, 2017 13:55
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Kim Jong ill posted:Did anyone notice that cheating wife goon says he was using his wife's Laptop and a message popping up on its screen, but then he starts talking about text messages and contacts list which is clearly referring to a phone? I'm calling bullshit, fake story that was going to be about emails but then the writer changed their mind and forgot to change the opening explanation. Olds frequently confuse email, text messaging, facebook messages, etc. and end up referring to one as another. Not saying what was written is 100% true, but that might explain it. Also it would be such a sad, boring story to fake. Why would anyone waste time on something like that
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May 25, 2017 15:13
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maskenfreiheit posted:usually i just play "gently caress the police" on my car stereo Same.
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May 25, 2017 15:26
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:Also it would be such a sad, boring story to fake. Why would anyone waste time on something like that Hey I take great pride in my stories
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May 25, 2017 15:29
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loquacius posted:All it would take for this to make sense is for her to be a Mac user. OSX/iOS have text message integration -- I think it only works with their dumb proprietary SMS clone, but I might be wrong on that. Yeah, my friend found out his wife was cheating on him because of that
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May 25, 2017 15:42
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Vigilante goon: You do realize that when you fired those rounds into the air they have to come down eventually right? Contrary to movies and video games bullets just don't t disappear when they are fired in the air. Most guns also don't have the power to shoot a bullet into the atmosphere to burn up or anywhere even close to that. You may think you harmlessly fired a few warning shots but you may have killed someone when gravity works it's magic and the bullet terminal velocities back to Earth. This isn't a movie and your actions have consequences beyond what you assume. I guess if you knew that you wouldn't be a vigilante in the first place.
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May 25, 2017 17:47
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maskenfreiheit posted:usually i just ftfy
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May 25, 2017 18:32
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That guy who fessed about hookers laughing at him decided to answer a question I asked about how often he saw hookersquote:There was a period in my early 20s where I saw at least 2-3 hookers a month for about 4 years, then went on a many year hiatus once I started getting too fat and felt too ashamed for even that. All the stuff in the last paragraph was when I was like 22. this is all stuff you can self-improve too though; your entire second paragraph scans to me as "also I have very low self-esteem". You can gain confidence too if you just work on yourself. Focus on other stuff like eating better and trying to be a little more active first; that will actually help a lot with your mental state. Then see the new thread title. The people have spoken and what they have said is that they want to see more therapygoon (verified w codeword) quote:Therapy goon here. Having written my last confession was sort of therapeutic. Heh. Alright, well, I hope that goes well but you have to know when to cut your losses, make sure you don't just keep putting up with poo poo forever because you're out of other ideas "I'm not the best catch either" is a common line of thought in abuse victims fyi, that's what I've been talking about with inexperienced goons tolerating lovely relationships because they don't think they'll ever do any better. (also, "they're perfect all the time except for this one little thing", and the one little thing is actually horrifying, is basically a thread meme in the r/relationships thread) Also please get a job
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May 25, 2017 18:43
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Lonely goon whatever you do do not make your first social outing to a videogame tournament or a videogame related thing. There are some things people were not meant to see. e: youre 55 but my words still stand Putty fucked around with this message at 18:55 on May 25, 2017 |
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May 25, 2017 18:45
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That's a whole lot of words to say "I'm finally getting sex, so I'm going to do whatever I can to keep getting sex even if it literally kills me"
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May 25, 2017 19:11
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quote:I'm 55 years old. Way too old to just start meeting people. I tried out online dating but all the girls have massive amounts of baggage at my age. Either kids or previously married or some combo of the 2. Not my cup of tea. What the hell is the problem with a previously married woman (or a man, for that matter)? Is she tainted? Unworthy of a boring, lonely 55-year old bachelor? Even if she has kids, if you are dating close to your age those kids are grown up or at least old enough not to matter too much to your relationship. It's not like dating a mother of two toddlers.
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May 25, 2017 19:23
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Yeah with 55 you kind of have to scale back your expectations dude. Sorry to tell you that. Actually women in their 40s are a bit more relaxed about things and the kids usually aren't toddlers anymore and when you're just dating you don't need to play dad to anyone nor should you be expected to. The kids already have a father and when things aren't terrible, he is probably in their life somewhat. Or as has been said, the kids are already grown up so you have nothing to do with them anyways. Women in your age range also have usually realistic expectations and everything's a lot more relaxed. I think dating women in their late 20s/early 30s is the hardest, especially if they have no kids. Their biological clocks are usually ticking LOUDLY. Thearpy goon, that might not be a good idea if she has anger issues as it seems she has. It might end badly for you. I'm actually a bit legit worried to be honest. You should consider leaving, even if it's inconvenient. I don't trust that woman. She sounds manipulative and like she doesn't have herself under control at all. You will regret this!
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May 25, 2017 19:59
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loquacius posted:All it would take for this to make sense is for her to be a Mac user. OSX/iOS have text message integration -- I think it only works with their dumb proprietary SMS clone, but I might be wrong on that. Macs have been able to send and receive standard SMS texts for at least a couple of years now with the latest versions of OS X. The Mac Messages app will even send as SMS if there was a problem sending through iCloud so it will make sure your message goes through, just like does on the iPhone.
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May 25, 2017 20:26
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Fwiw therapy goon, getting into my girlfriends' hobbies was what I did when I thought myself unworthy of love and had self esteem issues.
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May 25, 2017 20:36
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loquacius posted:All it would take for this to make sense is for her to be a Mac user. OSX/iOS have text message integration -- I think it only works with their dumb proprietary SMS clone, but I might be wrong on that. Google Hangouts does that too.
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May 25, 2017 20:59
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Therapy goon is a big strong man who is going to get domed in his sleep by his batshit crazy waif therapist
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May 25, 2017 21:04
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A flaming MiG-21's engine catches fire and begins losing altitude. Both its wings snap off. Now piloting a flaming metal tube screaming toward the ground at the speed of sound, the pilot hears "BLYAT! EJECT NOW YOU FOOL!" over his radio. "Nah, I can fix this"
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May 25, 2017 21:06
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ReidRansom posted:Google Hangouts does that too.  A reason to use Google Hangouts 
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May 25, 2017 21:07
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Police Automaton posted:Yeah with 55 you kind of have to scale back your expectations dude. Sorry to tell you that. Actually women in their 40s are a bit more relaxed about things and the kids usually aren't toddlers anymore and when you're just dating you don't need to play dad to anyone nor should you be expected to. The kids already have a father and when things aren't terrible, he is probably in their life somewhat. Or as has been said, the kids are already grown up so you have nothing to do with them anyways. Women in your age range also have usually realistic expectations and everything's a lot more relaxed. I think dating women in their late 20s/early 30s is the hardest, especially if they have no kids. Their biological clocks are usually ticking LOUDLY. Also at that age, not being divorced or a widow is even somewhat of a red flag. Most people will get married or live in common-law marriage. If someone reaches 45+ years of age without that experience, they probably have much bigger baggage than Jane Divorcee.
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May 25, 2017 21:10
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Doctor Malaver posted:Also at that age, not being divorced or a widow is even somewhat of a red flag. Most people will get married or live in common-law marriage. If someone reaches 45+ years of age without that experience, they probably have much bigger baggage than Jane Divorcee. My father-in-law got remarried last year or so to a woman in her late 40s who had never been married or had kids, and I can confirm she is super weird
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May 25, 2017 21:12
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loquacius posted:
it was actually a good way to voice chat with people without installing an external program until discord came along
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May 25, 2017 21:21
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Therapy goon you idiot, GET OUT OF THERE. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I know from experience. You're getting mindfucked into believing you love her. Into believing you can't be a good person without her. Therapists pretty much get training on how to mindfuck people (this is not a poo poo on the therapy itself, it can be very helpful. Just some evil people use it to manipulate, control, and abuse others).
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May 25, 2017 21:29
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a mysterious cloak posted:Therapy goon is a big strong man who is going to get domed in his sleep by his batshit crazy waif therapist He'll get his dick cut off
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May 25, 2017 21:31
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Therapy goon, post a picture of this chick. If she's hot enough, then I understand putting up with all this poo poo.
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May 25, 2017 21:37
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Well luckily for therapy goon you can live as many lives as you need to fulfill yourself, and when this one is ruined by either being murdered in his sleep or spending all of his years in the pussythrall of this psychotic virgburglar, he can just try again
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May 25, 2017 21:38
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RCarr posted:Therapy goon, post a picture of this chick. If she's hot enough, then I understand putting up with all this poo poo. Its the crazy/hot scale. If she is above the line, its worth it.
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May 25, 2017 21:38
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Robble robble were you talking to that WHORE again?! GIVE ME YOUR PHONE
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May 25, 2017 21:41
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