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Nebakenezzer posted:Touche More Nazi wunderspinne 
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May 26, 2017 16:24
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Fangz posted:Excuse me while I consult my highly realistic and advanced battle simulator, warhammer total war There's a new thing on steam, "Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator" which looked cool for 5 minutes until I realized it completely lacked any depth.  Basically the extreme case best encapsulates it's shortcomings. Put a regiment of 1944 US Riflemen against a horde of zombies; the riflemen don't fight like riflemen with non of the developments in military science, equipment, or support that made modern soldiers more deadly than ancient soldiers. Where are foxholes? Artillery support? Barbed wire to do some crowd control and funnel the largely unintelligent zombies into killzones? Minefields? This repeats itself with any of the armies it presents, Romans don't fight like Romans either and so on; just putting a bunch of Roman skinned dudes in a giant rectangle doesn't make an accurate representation!
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May 26, 2017 16:36
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Nebakenezzer posted:OK, One Century of the Roman army vs Does the giant tarantula have a flashing weak spot?
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May 26, 2017 17:36
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Raenir Salazar posted:There's a new thing on steam, "Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator" which looked cool for 5 minutes until I realized it completely lacked any depth. This is basically the same as those Total War mods that try to bring the timeframe into WWI. "Oh yeah cool I can send rectangles of men across a field and watch them all die, what a great time this is" - me spectralent posted:Does anyone have a link to that askhistorians thing about the DAK committing war crimes in africa? I swear I've read it before and I can't find it. Yeah Slim Jim Pickens posted:There's a guy on AskHistorians who recently answered some Rommel/North Africa questions.
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May 26, 2017 17:51
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Raenir Salazar posted:There's a new thing on steam, "Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator" which looked cool for 5 minutes until I realized it completely lacked any depth. You could try http://landfall.se/totally-accurate-battle-simulator/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jhC92ZFCkI
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May 26, 2017 17:54
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Yvonmukluk posted:Didn't Deadliest Warrior have a NVA/Vietcong vs. Waffen SS episode where the Nazis won? Saddam Hussein vs Pol Pot is also pretty up there for  Deadliest Warrior episodes.That being said the Deadliest Warrior PC game was loving rad. Chivalry, but 6v6v6v6v6 Pirates vs Samurai vs Knights vs Spartans vs Ninja vs Vikings. Pirates had a button dedicated to just getting hammered. It had no positive effect, it just made your vision blurry and your controls loose. But goddamn if every pirate team didn't start the match by getting together and all getting virtual wasted  Helped even things out because they got guns.
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May 26, 2017 17:55
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Taliban vs. the IRA is the best episode, actually.
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May 26, 2017 18:00
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bewbies posted:what the gently caress I'm just salty because bladesmiths get way more attention than people who make architectural hardware or other tools despite blades being some of the easiest things to make. More work goes into a fuckin kitchen spatula than a knife. Also they try to make them indestructible and then never use them. They're just such weenies!!!
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May 26, 2017 18:05
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Rodrigo Diaz posted:I'm just salty because bladesmiths get way more attention than people who make architectural hardware or other tools despite blades being some of the easiest things to make. More work goes into a fuckin kitchen spatula than a knife. Also they try to make them indestructible and then never use them. They're just such weenies!!! Tell us about the noble spatula then.
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May 26, 2017 18:14
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What if four spatula makers from various eras competed?
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May 26, 2017 18:16
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For all your spatulastic needs http://thesweethome.com/reviews/best-spatula/
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May 26, 2017 18:22
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Phobophilia posted:in summary, this is a silly question like who would win, samurai vs legionaries, when it comes down to a myriad of factors decided before and outside the battle I'm reminded of the deadliest warrior issue, which is that when do you fight one, or a hand full, of these historical combatants. Like pirates, when do you just fight a pirate? When you fight a pirate you fight a crew full of them and they generally come on a ship. Or legionaries generally have the rest of the army with them. So the likely answer is that the samurai get cut down by repeating ballistae before they get close. Also because I can, I will repost the deadliest warrior episode that features the IRA fighting the Taliban for control of a car park. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7iYY-yV3So im the guy in front with the really bad fake beard. OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 18:26 on May 26, 2017 |
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May 26, 2017 18:23
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Anyone got any interesting resources or books about the history of ERA, especially soviet ERA?
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May 26, 2017 18:28
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I know this is a silly discussion (legions vs samurai), but those are fun. When most people think of samurai they're imagining the Ashikaga/Sengoku period. Any samurai army at that time would probably annihilate a Roman legion simply due to technology. I don't think legions would be able to stand up to cannons and rotating volley fire from matchlock-armed infantry. Heian period samurai...Romans probably win? I dunno. They had trouble with horse archers though, and that was the primary method of samurai warfare at the time.
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May 26, 2017 18:37
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Samurai Horse Archers weren't actually terribly good though, I thought?
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May 26, 2017 18:38
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Fangz posted:Samurai Horse Archers weren't actually terribly good though, I thought? Yeah that's true. It was great for fighting lightly armed rebels, which is mostly what samurai did around then, but probably not as effective in a large pitched battle. Yumi bows are kind of a weird shape too, and I don't think they have the same kind of range as a composite bow, especially from horseback.
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May 26, 2017 18:43
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Jamwad Hilder posted:I know this is a silly discussion (legions vs samurai), but those are fun. The real problem with these is that there's so many variables and permutations that you can't factor in at all. Like maybe the Romans annihilate the samurai a few times, but on the Xth day (after the armies magically re-incarnate or something?) a new consul shows up and he does something dumb, or some low level samurai commander seizes an opportunity that was missed previously, or the battle happens 2 km away and the terrain dictates an entirely different course of the battle.
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May 26, 2017 18:46
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Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
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PittTheElder posted:The real problem with these is that there's so many variables and permutations that you can't factor in at all. Like maybe the Romans annihilate the samurai a few times, but on the Xth day (after the armies magically re-incarnate or something?) a new consul shows up and he does something dumb, or some low level samurai commander seizes an opportunity that was missed previously, or the battle happens 2 km away and the terrain dictates an entirely different course of the battle. I guess we'll never know, until we can create and abuse time travel technology
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May 26, 2017 18:48
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Fangz posted:Samurai Horse Archers weren't actually terribly good though, I thought? Romans have forbidden technology: shields.
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May 26, 2017 18:49
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xthetenth posted:Tell us about the noble spatula then. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX1OQaRaMas all the techniques you need for knife making are used, plus splitting, rounding, and drawing out flat with the peen, not to mention the artistic piercing and file work
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May 26, 2017 18:57
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The only deadliest warrior episode I remember was Green Berets vs. Spetsnaz. The result was pretty even until the very end of the fight when the Spetsnaz guy used one of those knives with a launchable blade and caught the Green Beret in the neck.
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May 26, 2017 19:01
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OwlFancier posted:Romans have forbidden technology: shields. Samurai used shields for a long time, especially during the Heian period. At some point the Japanese ended up being embroiled in a bunch of wars with these people in the Northeastern part of Japan who predominantly fought as hit-and-run cavalry, so the samurai abandoned sword and shield infantry fighting and focused more on horse archery and mounted combat. In a lot of armor from that period you'll see huge shoulder pads which are designed to be shields basically latched onto your shoulder since your hands would be preoccupied with the bow. Anyway they spent a long time fighting without shields and that just kind of became the style. They still never really abandoned them, shields were common to defend archers and musketeers, and infantry would use them to assault castles and stuff, but the samurai never picked them up again since the emphasis had more-or-less permanently shifted to focus on archery and swordsmanship. Another factor is peasant infantry was predominantly armed with long spears and pikes, which weren't easy to use with shields.
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May 26, 2017 19:03
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spectralent posted:Anyone got any interesting resources or books about the history of ERA, especially soviet ERA? This guy is your best bet. Unfortunately he has very little material in English, I don't think there is anything on ERA at all.
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May 26, 2017 19:05
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Jamwad Hilder posted:Samurai used shields for a long time, especially during the Heian period. At some point the Japanese ended up being embroiled in a bunch of wars with these people in the Northeastern part of Japan who predominantly fought as hit-and-run cavalry, so the samurai abandoned sword and shield infantry fighting and focused more on horse archery and mounted combat. In a lot of armor from that period you'll see huge shoulder pads which are designed to be shields basically latched onto your shoulder since your hands would be preoccupied with the bow. Mostly I just find it funny to imagine what would happen in the first battle between a bunch of dudes with swords and naginatas and bows and cavalry and spears, versus a stereotypical roman cohort with big fuckoff scutae and javelins. It would probably be quite confusing for both sides.
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May 26, 2017 19:08
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A big question as well for me is "How long do they fight for? 30 years? A year? A battle?" Because arguably by the standards of the "vs" fights, Early Romans would "lose" to Carthage at sea, but over the course of the war the Romans figured out boats and how to out boat Carthage at boating and the rest is history. How come this never comes up in these hypotheticals, which side would adapt better to their new opponent? Reminds me of a thing I read that apparently some Roman soldiers somehow made their way to China so you have digs that show signs of Roman engineering in traditionally Chinese settlements/forts. I want more of that, in what ways could you better combine certain armies together? Much like the idea that the Germans might have gotten a huge advantage in the Battle of Britain with a few squadrons of Japanese Zeroes.
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May 26, 2017 19:09
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Rodrigo Diaz posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX1OQaRaMas all the techniques you need for knife making are used, plus splitting, rounding, and drawing out flat with the peen Oh yeah 
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May 26, 2017 19:16
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Didn't weapons of war, especially in the medieval era, not necessarily get nearly as much use as more utilitarian items anyways? Sure, in a battle they'll get a lot of wear really fast, but they'll spend most of their operational life in practice exercises and in storage.
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May 26, 2017 19:20
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SlothfulCobra posted:Didn't weapons of war, especially in the medieval era, not necessarily get nearly as much use as more utilitarian items anyways? Sure, in a battle they'll get a lot of wear really fast, but they'll spend most of their operational life in practice exercises and in storage. This is true of the equipment of Chinese army today, except they don't get practice exercises.
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May 26, 2017 19:31
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OwlFancier posted:I'm reminded of the deadliest warrior issue, which is that when do you fight one, or a hand full, of these historical combatants. bomb has been planted terrorists win
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May 26, 2017 19:39
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SlothfulCobra posted:Didn't weapons of war, especially in the medieval era, not necessarily get nearly as much use as more utilitarian items anyways? Sure, in a battle they'll get a lot of wear really fast, but they'll spend most of their operational life in practice exercises and in storage. I mean, a scythe lives 80% of the year unused as well, but that's still more time than a sword probably spent hacking limbs etc. Though the practice exercises you envision were afaik sometimes done with sharp weapons, including lances at jousts. In the high medieval period, especially the 12th c, the precursors to jousts were outright mock battles between knights, and I think they used sharp swords there too.
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May 26, 2017 19:46
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OwlFancier posted:Mostly I just find it funny to imagine what would happen in the first battle between a bunch of dudes with swords and naginatas and bows and cavalry and spears, versus a stereotypical roman cohort with big fuckoff scutae and javelins. I don't know that it would be that confusing, at least for the Romans (early Empire I guess), they were pretty used to dealing with that. Only thing novel there is the naginata, but it's not like the concept of polearms would be new to them.
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May 26, 2017 19:50
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Maybe they wouldn't have even fought. Maybe the Romans show up and both sides decide "hey these guys seem pretty bad rear end" and maybe the Japanese go "hey we've always wanted to conquer Korea and invade China, are you in?"
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May 26, 2017 19:53
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Ensign Expendable posted:This guy is your best bet. Unfortunately he has very little material in English, I don't think there is anything on ERA at all. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction!
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May 26, 2017 19:57
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Hey you guys have half a dozen dudes per regiment to hold all your flags, well, we've taped our flags onto our backs, let's be flag buddies.
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May 26, 2017 19:58
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Whatever became of that US marines vs Romans film?
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May 26, 2017 19:58
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OwlFancier posted:Hey you guys have half a dozen dudes per regiment to hold all your flags, well, we've taped our flags onto our backs, let's be flag buddies. There is some wargame that included a flag bearer in every Red Army squad. I don't know what, if anything, he actually did, but apparently you gotta have flags.
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May 26, 2017 20:05
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Raenir Salazar posted:There's a new thing on steam, "Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator" which looked cool for 5 minutes until I realized it completely lacked any depth. they should just walk back and let the bugs and birds eat the zombies
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May 26, 2017 20:24
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Ensign Expendable posted:There is some wargame that included a flag bearer in every Red Army squad. I don't know what, if anything, he actually did, but apparently you gotta have flags. Can't capture the reichstag without a flag.
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May 26, 2017 20:35
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Tevery Best posted:bomb has been planted Well, yes? Both sides are terrorists 
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May 26, 2017 20:56
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Jamwad Hilder posted:Maybe they wouldn't have even fought. Maybe the Romans show up and both sides decide "hey these guys seem pretty bad rear end" and maybe the Japanese go "hey we've always wanted to conquer Korea and invade China, are you in?" The Romans strike a deal with some of the samurai clans and pays them to fight each other. The consul in charge takes all the credit, gets awarded with a triumph and the title "Iaponicus". 
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May 26, 2017 20:59
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