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You millennials fighting over airlines are the reasons burgers are bad now and why marketing sucks. Its time for the baby boomers to once again step up and save you from yourselves: http://creativity-online.com/work/carls-jr-carl-hardee-sr-returns/51401 A new film from 72andSunny and directed by Hungry Man's Wayne McClammy tells the story of a company run amok at the hands of its poster child millennial CEO, the fictional Carl Hardee, Jr. (played by comedian Drew Tarver), who slouches in his office chair, gawking into VR headset along with his buddies, a shirtless dude in a hot tub and a young woman riding a mechanical bull. But the fun stops when faux founder Hardee Sr., played by Charles Esten ("Nashville," "The Postman") storms in to take back control. (Couple of months old, but hey its not airline seats.) TyrsHTML has a new favorite as of 20:48 on May 31, 2017 |
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May 31, 2017 20:46
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Iron Crowned posted:Turn on your monitor. You stalk strippers because you think they really like you.
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May 31, 2017 20:49
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TyrsHTML posted:You millennials fighting over airlines are the reasons burgers are bad now and why marketing sucks. Its time for the baby boomers to once again step up and save you from yourselves: I can't wait for all the shity think pieces on the millennial revolt when it inevitably comes "Millennials Could Afford Healthcare If They Just Stopped Spending So Much On Rope To Lynch Us With"
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May 31, 2017 20:53
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Hungry Man's Wayne McClammy
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May 31, 2017 20:54
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Xen Tricks posted:I can't wait for all the shity think pieces on the millennial revolt when it inevitably comes lovely think pieces on millennials will probably only end when millennials themselves are old enough to write about whatever dumbshit generation follows us.
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May 31, 2017 21:05
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:You stalk strippers because you think they really like you. Did you know that it is possible that you in fact do not know everything, and other people know more about some subjects than you do?
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May 31, 2017 21:08
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"Our marketing was really lovely and overly horny because of this dipshit fake millennial and not us, a bunch of marketing executives in our 60s." At least Domino's owned up to sucking.
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May 31, 2017 21:15
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Iron Crowned posted:Did you know that it is possible that you in fact do not know everything, and other people know more about some subjects than you do? Did you know that nobody else in the thread cares about your slapfight with Tiny Brontosaurus, who was correct about airline seats vs. Phanatic?
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May 31, 2017 21:20
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This of course then leads into the new burger, which is a tiny mcrib slapped on top of a burger patty and shoved at you. https://www.qsrmagazine.com/news/carls-jrhardees-introduce-industry-first-baby-back-rib-burger The new offering, which is the first-ever quick-service burger to feature real, boneless, baby back ribs, serves as the ultimate expression of the brands’ recently reclaimed identity as “Pioneers of the Great American Burger,” What the gently caress does this even mean. “Recently, we set out to reclaim our rightful status as ‘Pioneers of the Great American Burger,’ so we had to show the world that we’re back with a burger that truly earned a place on that mantle,” says Brad Haley, chief marketing officer for Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s. The Baby Back Rib Burger uses ribs officially and exclusively supplied by Bubba’s-Q™ Boneless Ribs (“Bubba’s-Q”), an Ohio-based BBQ restaurant and online store owned and operated by former Detroit Lions’ football star Al “Bubba” Baker. The company drew national attention after appearing on a 2013 episode of ABC’s hit television program “Shark Tank,” when “Shark“ Daymond John made a deal with Bubba to invest in the brand. TyrsHTML has a new favorite as of 21:27 on May 31, 2017 |
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May 31, 2017 21:23
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A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:Hungry Man's Wayne McClammy 
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May 31, 2017 21:27
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Xen Tricks posted:It would buy at least 20 with room left over, and also I forgot that the solitary sole source of income for an airline is ticket prices It...pretty much is. It's only in the past couple years that ticket prices have fallen below 90% of revenues. The remainder is fees (which people say they hate) and ancillary stuff like airline-branded credit cards. Cargo revenue is a rounding error. 20's probably in the ballpark. Actual aircraft sticker prices are closely held trade secrets because no vendor wants one customer knowing what another customer paid when he signed on the dotted line, and lots of commercial aircraft aren't owned by the operating airline, but okay, ballpark. Let's go back to the heady days of the Apollo program and 1970 when legroom was abundant and steak dinners drifted up and down the aisles on silk-silent castors before being consumed by a blissful air-traveling public. Let's look at Southwest and the 737, to keep it simple, since Southwest has only ever operated the 737 except for a few years when it leased some 727s. The original model could seat, 103 people with that luxurious 34" seating. Southwest has 75 737-300s left, they seat 143. They have about 500 143-seat 700s, and 150 175-seat 800s. So that's 725 planes, with 108,650 seats. If Southwest were to fly the same number of seats, but give everyone 1970s seat spacing, they'd need 1,054 737-100s, an increase in fleet size of 45%. Because you increased the fleet size, you need to hire more pilots. How many? Southwest employs about 12 pilots per airframe, so you need to hire almost 4000 pilots. And then you need to actually operate all those planes. Last year, Southwest Airlines made 2.24 billion in profit (that's net profit, which they have to pay taxes on, but ignore that for now) on 20.2 billion in revenues. Which is a *record profit* for them, and that's about as big as airline profit margins have ever gotten. If they took all that money and instead of paying a .125 cent/share dividend, or saving the money as a hedge against increased fuel prices, or paying bonuses to employees, or saving it for other future capital investments, and instead just bought additional planes with that olde tyme seating, they could increase their fleet size by a whole 1%. And, again, you haven't hired any pilots, or other crew, or additional mechanics and inspectors, so financing the operation of those additional planes is somewhat risky. Better hope your revenues next year are enough to pay for the increase in operating expenses from that bigger fleet. And you'd better also hope that the airports can support them. Which as I alluded to earlier, they can't. Here, take a look: https://www.faa.gov/airports/planning_capacity/profiles/ Every single airport on that list is operating at or against the edge of its FCC-mandated capacity in some set of conditions, and most of them are operating at or against the edge in all conditions. Trying to improve air travel comfort by simply increasing fleet sizes runs hard up against that wall in very short order. You'd need to drastically expand the operating capacity of the airports (which is *wholly* out of the control of the airlines), which means things like increased sales taxes to fund them, which gently caress the poor because those are by nature inherently regressive taxes and it's the poor's land that would get confiscated to build on, or removing regulations that prohibit operations at hours when the neighbors are sleeping (which, again, fucks the poor, because who do you think lives right next to airports?). Better technology can improve safety to the extent that minimum distances allowed between aircraft can shrink, and we've done a bit of that, but that doesn't build more gates or taxiways and baggage carousels. And increased demand for a slot at the airport means the landing fees at that aircraft go up, which means ticket prices go up. 20 planes is nothing compared to the fleet size of a major carrier. The whole idea that if airlines just decided to stop making any profits they could usher in a return to huge legroom of 40 years ago *without pricing airfare out of the range of a huge number of fliers* is so gobsmackingly and asininely wrong it could only be posited by someone completely unaware of the operating environment airlines exist in. You are not getting bigger seats *without paying more money*. And in the current market, people who *can* pay more money have demonstrated abundantly that they're not willing to. And people who *can't* pay more money deserve to be able to fly. Phanatic has a new favorite as of 21:41 on May 31, 2017 |
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May 31, 2017 21:37
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Phanatic posted:It...pretty much is. It's only in the past couple years that ticket prices have fallen below 90% of revenues. The remainder is fees (which people say they hate) and ancillary stuff like airline-branded credit cards. Cargo revenue is a rounding error. On the other hand shut up and go jerk off onto the United Airlines stewardess uniform you bought off ebay
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May 31, 2017 21:49
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Phanatic posted:It...pretty much is. It's only in the past couple years that ticket prices have fallen below 90% of revenues. The remainder is fees (which people say they hate) and ancillary stuff like airline-branded credit cards. Cargo revenue is a rounding error. Sir, this is a McDonald's drive-thru.
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May 31, 2017 21:56
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I mean they could just take, Idk, one row of seats out of the plane and charge the same but you're right that would cut into their two billion dollar profit which is totally unacceptable I know
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May 31, 2017 21:59
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Phanatic posted:No they couldn't, idiot Tiny Brontosaurus posted:You are the dumbest motherfucker alive. Iron Crowned posted:Turn on your monitor. All three of you need to knock it off.
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May 31, 2017 22:02
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:People aren't able, you dumb gently caress. They aren't able. People in America are very, very, very poor. By what metric are you making this claim?
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May 31, 2017 22:17
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bongwizzard posted:By what metric are you making this claim? Don't.
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May 31, 2017 22:22
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:Don't. Why not? This thread is fun when it doesn't devolve into "poor people yelling at clouds".
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May 31, 2017 22:25
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Because I'd rather not devolve once again into the slapfighting that was just taking place. If everybody can remain civil, by all means, the conversation can continue.
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May 31, 2017 22:26
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Slapfights are by far the most interesting and entertaining part of the forums
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May 31, 2017 22:29
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Oldpalmless.
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May 31, 2017 22:30
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LITERALLY A BIRD posted:Because I'd rather not devolve once again into the slapfighting that was just taking place. If everybody can remain civil, by all means, the conversation can continue. Sure, but if we're allowed to make up whatever "facts" we want, it's kind of hard to have an actual discussion about things.
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May 31, 2017 22:35
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If only there were some way to punish the posters who perpetually fly off the handle about dumb poo poo we could maybe avoid this happening to every thread.oldpainless posted:Slapfights are by far the most interesting and entertaining part of the forums I used to agree with this but they've been getting dumber and longer for ages now. Airline chat has been going on in this thread since April. TyrsHTML posted:You millennials fighting over airlines are the reasons burgers are bad now and why marketing sucks. Its time for the baby boomers to once again step up and save you from yourselves: These ads actually make me angry. I don't think that's really happened to me re: commercials before. E: VVV that's fair, I'm just in a bitchy mood because it seems like every thread I've read today has devolved into some kinda lunacy Rockman Reserve has a new favorite as of 22:51 on May 31, 2017 |
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May 31, 2017 22:35
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food court bailiff posted:If only there were some way to punish the posters who perpetually fly off the handle about dumb poo poo we could maybe avoid this happening to every thread. If I catch the bickering as it's occurring I prefer to give a warning before I start probating. That might just be me though. v  v
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May 31, 2017 22:38
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bongwizzard posted:By what metric are you making this claim? If you actually have a sincere interest and aren't just playing backup for stripperstalker and United's social media marketing intern, I'm sure you're quite capable of looking up data on income inequality and poverty rates on your own. Goons have a bad habit of imagining everyone in the world as a well-off but lazy white upper middle class person who has no excuse for having any problem that could be solved with money, but that's just a small slice of the population.
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May 31, 2017 22:56
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Phanatic posted:It...pretty much is.
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May 31, 2017 23:14
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Some kind of MLM where you recruit shills for big companies would be a great way to reel in all those underemployed millennials.
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May 31, 2017 23:18
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One of the only places on SA that I'd consider a safe space for capitalists was the marketing thread and now you've done ruined that. Guess we're talking about what DPRK poster best symbolizes Dear Leader. TyrsHTML posted:You millennials fighting over airlines are the reasons burgers are bad now and why marketing sucks. Its time for the baby boomers to once again step up and save you from yourselves: I like those commercials. It's not like fast food ads were ever high brow, the dead dad McFish spot notswithstanding. If McDonalds hadn't pulled those ads we probably would've had one where mom's new husband really likes nuggets.
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May 31, 2017 23:37
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Tiny Brontosaurus posted:If you actually have a sincere interest and aren't just playing backup for stripperstalker and United's social media marketing intern, I'm sure you're quite capable of looking up data on income inequality and poverty rates on your own. Goons have a bad habit of imagining everyone in the world as a well-off but lazy white upper middle class person who has no excuse for having any problem that could be solved with money, but that's just a small slice of the population. Sure but "everyone in america is really really poor" is a dumb claim to make. Global, no one in america is very poor and in the specific context of air travel, it is more affordable than it has ever been and seats are cramped because people (in general) will not pay any more then they have to. I fly all the time and only very very rarely are all the upgrade seats sold out. Goons have a bad habit of imagining everyone as some noble poor person thwarted buy some mustache twirling captain of industry at every turn instead of taking any responsibility for the decisions they make. It's very possible to be poor and stupid.
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May 31, 2017 23:47
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I don't know why Brontosaurus is so angry but the numbers aren't totally inaccurate as far as airline margins go. Delta reports approximately $40 billion in gross sales in 2015 and 2016, with around $4.5 billion in net income. Their website reports that they fly over 15,000 flights a day, and looking at statistics on how many flights happen a year vs how many people fly a year overall, you get approximately 100 people per flight. 15,000 flights a day translates to over 5 million flights in a year. Just rounding to 5 million flights in a year with an average of 100 passengers per flight, this means that each flight generates ~$8000 in sales, and ~$900 of that is profit. These are very rough estimates, but cutting 5 seats at $80 per seat from every flight basically halves the profitability of the company in this example. This is why you hear people throw around the figure that planes have to fly at 90% capacity just to break even. I don't pretend to know all the figures that go into it, but this gives a good idea of how volatile the profit margins are for airlines: http://www.marketwatch.com/investing/stock/dal/financials 2014 it reports they made $40 billion in ticket sales and made a profit of $650 million. Less than 2%. $Billions on paper is a lot of money, but it requires some perspective. If a company operates in the tens of billions, then what you think of as a minor thing that causes a 5% change in either operating costs or sales figures instantly translates to billions in either losses or extra profits.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:18
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Oh no they'd only make 2 billion in profits.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:20
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How much of it is tied to oil prices? I've heard that airlines pretty much buy all their fuel once a year to help offset fluctuations in oil prices through the months. There are a lot of flat costs associated with flying an airplane whether it had 5 people or 500 and I wonder how much that plays into the bottom line.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:28
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bongwizzard posted:Sure but "everyone in america is really really poor" is a dumb claim to make. Global, no one in america is very poor and in the specific context of air travel, it is more affordable than it has ever been and seats are cramped because people (in general) will not pay any more then they have to. I fly all the time and only very very rarely are all the upgrade seats sold out. This might surprise you but Americans aren't doing well. A majority of Americans are considered "poor." That isn't "living on $1 a day and eating only sometimes" levels of poor but poo poo is getting bad in America. This is especially true in light of the fact that there are millions fewer jobs now than there were ten years ago, the price of everything is going up, rent in any place you'd actually want to live is loving insane, and wages have stagnated like mad. Student debt has also grown to bug gently caress insane levels and there is more of that than there is credit card debt now. It isn't necessarily a matter of preference but a matter of necessity. Ponying up for an actually comfortable flight will often mean not making rent next month. I'm sure Americans would just loving love to pay a bit more to fly in something other than misery but generally just plain can't afford it. That or they're just sucking up the discomfort because while they can afford it they don't make enough to not feel the loss of the difference. Americans overall are more broke than you think. Yes America is the richest country in the world but that doesn't mean that Americans are all middle class and up. Most are not. ToxicSlurpee has a new favorite as of 00:43 on Jun 1, 2017 |
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Jun 1, 2017 00:29
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The middle class is poor. But then, by definition, they're not the middle class anymore. I've got some musing to do.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:32
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I think we're all missing the point here that an industry that is required to maintain a miserable status quo to even manage to stay afloat miiiiiight not be a sustainable business. Just a thought also how is it that Ryanair or some other econo liner in Europe can offer a 2 hr flight or so for 20 euro in the same conditions that United would charge $200+ for? Xen Tricks has a new favorite as of 00:37 on Jun 1, 2017 |
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Jun 1, 2017 00:34
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oldpainless posted:The middle class is poor. But then, by definition, they're not the middle class anymore. I've got some musing to do. The middle class in America has been contracting for quite a while and getting more and more buried in debt. Wages haven't been keeping up with productivity for like 40 years. This is why marketing just seems more and more insane to me. They're getting more and more desperate to get sales up every year but Americans just plain can't afford to buy as much anymore.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:35
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Panfilo posted:How much of it is tied to oil prices? I've heard that airlines pretty much buy all their fuel once a year to help offset fluctuations in oil prices through the months. A ton is tied to oil prices. Like 40% of operating costs. But that varies from airline to airline. Southwest locked in some sweet oil futures during the worst of the price spikes and was paying about half as much for fuel as other airlines. United (I think) was stupid and got stuck paying above market prices for months after oil finally crashed. Captain Monkey posted:Oh no they'd only make 2 billion in profits. It's all in context. 2 billion in profit off 40 billion in revenue isn't great in an industry that has largely lost money for most of the last decade. Profits mean sweet fat bonuses for executives, but it also means new planes and more routes.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:35
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The busiest domestic airline route in America is Chicago <-> NY. A round-trip flight is currently $147 for economy and $315 for premium economy. More than doubling the price for an extra couple of inches of legroom. Business class is $417, which is more than many Americans gross in a week. What would you captains of industry do if a person said "hey I need money to pay rent or feed my kids, I spent all my money upgrading my airline seating?" You would say "gently caress you, don't spend money you don't have." So they play it smart, they spend their money on more important things than their comfort and safety. And what do you do? You say "gently caress you, if you want dignity than pay for it." And yet somehow when I say "gently caress you" to you that's the crime of the century.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:40
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oldpainless posted:The middle class is poor. But then, by definition, they're not the middle class anymore. I've got some musing to do.
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Jun 1, 2017 00:41
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Dumb Marketing Moves: Nope, it's really about airlines.
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