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THE LONG WALK 26: Behind Our Struggles May There Be Found Our Struggles! so what's this then this is where you get to do something about writing that novel you've always had inside you and can finally get all the sounds cool how does it work round about the first day of every month I put a thread up and you post in it to say how much new writing you're gonna post by 2359 PST on the last day of that month. there might be a little general leeway at the end of the month, but don't count on it and don't ask for extensions. lol imma post one word 'lol' there I won lol there's a 4k word minimum. you can pledge more if you like, but 4k is the ante. how many terrible words have been written through this thread and the ones before it? 3,218,000. Some of them might have been good? idk what happens if I gently caress it up every promise has to have a attached. you fail, you get banned. how should I post my stuff up to you, but a link to a gdoc with comments enabled is best that way you won't restrict your publication options later. can I do short stories sure. It has to be new words (prose, poetry, limericks) but otherwise you can post whatever as long as you make the wordcount can I critpost, shitpost, or shart my jorts don't really care, it's not the thunderdome so just follow the exhortations of your clotted goony heart but keep in mind that detailed crits of longform stuff aren't super useful; better to keep them general. normal CC rules apply so be harsh but helpful is there an irc channel most of us hang out in #thunderdome where are the previous months 2015 April, May June July, August, September, October , November, December, 2016 January, February, March, April, May June, July, September, October, November, December, 2017January, February, March, April who checks i've done it i could just not and say i did lol you need to satisfy me, which isn't a high bar tbh, but I'll probably need to see something, up to you what that is how long are you gonna do it for forever, i guess? we'll see writers unite you have nothing correct Long Walk 26: Behind Our Struggles May There Be Found Our Struggles! Bad Seafood 31k flerp 5k sitting here 5k RECORD OF THE FALLEN CHTHONIC BELL/A PAINTED BIRD... DIDN'T MAKE IT (X4) SPECTRES OF AUTISM/PALE SPECTRES.... DIDN'T MAKE IT (x3) KILLFAST37... DIDN'T MAKE IT (X2) REDTONIC... DIDN'T MAKE IT (X2) KURONA BRIGHT...DIDN'T MAKE IT (X2) SITTING HERE.... DIDN'T MAKE IT (X2) GUINNESS13....DIDN'T MAKE IT(X2) SITTING HERE....DIDN'T MAKE IT (x2) NO GRAVITAS.... DIDN'T MAKE IT JITZU THE MONK.... DIDN'T MAKE IT SURREPTITIOUS MUFFIN.... DIDN'T MAKE IT SKAANDSCREENPLAYS.... DIDN'T MAKE IT MORNING BELL... DIDN'T MAKE IT DR KLOCTOPUSSY... DIDN'T MAKE IT BOMPACHO... DIDN'T MAKE IT CRABROCK... DIDN'T MAKE IT MARTELLO... DIDN'T MAKE IT THEHOMEMASTER... DIDN'T MAKE IT JONKED... DIDN'T MAKE IT ANIME WAS RIGHT... DIDN'T MAKE IT MAG7.... DIDN'T MAKE IT IRONIC TWIST.... DIDN'T MAKE IT TEQUILAJESUS.... DIDN'T MAKE IT ANOMIEATTHEGATES.... DIDN'T MAKE IT ANGELOPPORTUNITY.... DIDN'T MAKE IT FLERP....DIDN'T MAKE IT NEWTESTLEPER....DIDN'T MAKE IT IRONIC TWIST.....DIDN'T MAKE IT sebmojo fucked around with this message at 02:14 on May 15, 2017 |
# ? May 4, 2017 10:55 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 01:53 |
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31k, bae.
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# ? May 4, 2017 18:20 |
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5k not thunderdome
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# ? May 6, 2017 14:38 |
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finish draft 2 of my short story (it's basically a total rewrite and will probably top out at 4K words) + w/e random writing I feel like = to do 5K words (give or take, depending on how long the rewrite turns out) wading back in slowly
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# ? May 13, 2017 19:15 |
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this one was started at 592 words so 1484 new words overall 5156 total words
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# ? May 30, 2017 22:59 |
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Sitting Here posted:finish draft 2 of my short story (it's basically a total rewrite and will probably top out at 4K words) draft: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14H1TzBvPZT7iNutZOODculsV8eLTtgfCE-80HRyXgjs/edit?usp=sharing 5806 words, so easily hit my count. Plus I did a couple Thunderdomes, so my actual total for the month is probably more like 7K or 8K I'm slightly cheating in that I am not happy where the short story ends, in light of my revisions. Like, it could stop where it is, but I don't really want it to, so I'll need to think on that some more. Crits welcome.
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# ? Jun 1, 2017 05:26 |
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Still writing. Will post before I go to bed.
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# ? Jun 1, 2017 05:49 |
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gogogo fidget spinner
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# ? Jun 1, 2017 06:32 |
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My fingers hurt, send help.
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# ? Jun 1, 2017 09:43 |
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Niiiice gj all.
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# ? Jun 1, 2017 13:06 |
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Sitting Here posted:Crits welcome. The nice thing going on here is what I felt was the basic premise of the story. The foreshadowing of the world ending by a series of slow events along with the woman remembering the specific time when her life ended. This balances nicely against her world “really” ending by the finale. I was searching for something to latch onto or to show through from the story as I read along. Most of what I found was in the contrast between calling them “roaches” and her insisting to herself that they’re still people. The use of the word roaches was enough that it didn’t come across as just colour, instead coloured my opinion of her, and negatively. And for me that’s where the characterisation and world building fell down because I didn’t feel her as fully developed or as full a person as she should be. For a large part of the story there’s a heft of exposition. Having finished I can see the purpose the introduction serves, but it read as superfluous and generic writing I didn’t realise the story needed until the end, and lacking enough of an immediate point that I might have stopped reading if I encountered this online. The encounter/stand-off/shooting/fleeing comes across as too much story for the point of it all; it’s a big long scene with no up or down, or feeling of push and pull. The ending is so brief and offers no authorial consideration to amount to much (I think this is the story you want to add to.) If this were a more developed story I’d be looking for a coda, but when the beginning falls flat and the ending is terse and abrupt the whole story doesn’t have the flow in storytelling for it to really work for me. Things I think could work are upping the characterisation, and giving the woman a voice. At the moment she comes across as too generic and everyman. She’s a tabula rasa when the story doesn’t demand enough from the reader as they read to validate any response they might give at the end. I wouldn’t shy away from giving her more opinions, and making her thoughts and interactions stronger and wouldn’t fear it taking from the reader’s views being placed on the situation. It read easily enough, and the only place I had any issue was when the boy went from standing next to Chance’s boys and appearing next to the girl with the gun, it was a little abrupt and from my reading was the happenstance too much. I did wonder whether it really is her son, but I’m not too sure that’s relevant. My take on it is the continuing slow death of society/the world. You state outright that the world didn’t “end” abruptly, and contrast it with the abrupt disappearance/death of the son. For me you’re asking questions of when an ending becomes final, and whether effort along the way for betterment can ever be too late given a drawn out end and a drawn out end that may have happened long ago, presuming a start is made.* I think the real way you can bring this up more is by showing a deeper and more fraught debate from the woman about how she feels about the roaches. Maybe even more visceral, or circular in her thinking. You can tie her in knots, and wrap up some authorial preaching and prognostication in it. If my guess on the theme is appropriate to you then I would maintain that there are less people who are as blind or free of worry from big issues as this piece seemingly makes out, and if they are they will take something entirely different to it from me. The pacing needs a little work, and for me it was heavy in telling me about the world without making the world interesting, and describing lengthy action for a feeling in the resolution that wasn’t strong enough. The balance for you is putting enough in to make the situation in the world more visceral in thought, and less empty, but keeping it open enough to let a reader push their own views of the world on it. *Superpowers that allow you to dodge bullets is comic book symbology almost up there with mutants for othering/prejudice.
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# ? Jun 1, 2017 20:22 |
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Mrenda posted:The nice thing going on here is what I felt was the basic premise of the story. The foreshadowing of the world ending by a series of slow events along with the woman remembering the specific time when her life ended. This balances nicely against her world “really” ending by the finale. This is a really good crit and I know what i'll be doing with my June!
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# ? Jun 1, 2017 22:26 |
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Mrenda posted:The nice thing going on here is what I felt was the basic premise of the story. The foreshadowing of the world ending by a series of slow events along with the woman remembering the specific time when her life ended. This balances nicely against her world “really” ending by the finale. Thanks Mrenda New thread going up in ten min or so, wanna jump in this month?
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# ? Jun 2, 2017 00:14 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 01:53 |
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NEW THREAD SMELL OVER THIS WAY =>
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# ? Jun 2, 2017 00:51 |