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Thanks for the ideas! I've been very upfront with the fact I am terrible with money, and she makes about 1.5x what I do. We've been leaning towards the idea of putting aside x% of each of our incomes into a shared account, with my % being a bit higher as a means of saving vs. spending. As much as I'd like some financial independence, it's probably better to save for the future.
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Jun 11, 2017 21:52
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LogisticEarth posted:It kinda strikes me as weird that married couples with uneven incomes keep substantialy different "discretionary" accounts. Like, why not just split it roughly evenly if you're married? Because if he wants to buy a fixer-upper International Harvester for a hobby but I think it's a waste of money, it's his money that he's spending. Likewise, if I want to buy 200 pounds of clay for my pottery hobby but he thinks it's a waste of money, it's my money that I'm spending. We can spend money on ourselves for whatever we want. If we want something mutually but one person has more money, we contribute how we see fit. For example, I will pay for most of the cost of our vacations because it's something we both want, and it's fun for both of us. We get equal happiness from it, so cost doesn't really matter. It really comes down to people's spending habits and what they want to spend their money on. If you can agree on every purchase ever made, go ahead and combine finances. If there could possibly be conflict about buying things specifically for yourself, keep a separate account. If incomes are unequal and you feel it's unfair, have both people put aside $100 per paycheck, so the personal savings amount is the same. It doesn't matter how you save for yourself, but having money that you can spend on whatever you want is nice.
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Jun 12, 2017 01:44
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Koivunen posted:It doesn't matter how you save for yourself, but having money that you can spend on whatever you want is nice. Yeah, I get this, what strikes me as weird us that it's still based on individual wages rather than just a split off "individual spending money" item from the household budget. Like, my wife and I each get $50/month to spend on whatever, plus another $75 each for clothing. On occasion, we "gift" each other stuff using that money as well. I make more, but whatever comes in just goes into one big pot and we divvy it up for various expenses and luxuries. I'd feel like a bit of a jackass telling my wife I get to spend more because I make more.
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Jun 12, 2017 11:48
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Does anyone have any experience ordering from Revolution Jewelry? My significant other found something he really likes but I'd ideally like to find some reviews I trust before spending the money.
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Jun 13, 2017 01:21
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Where does your officiant have to be registered to perform a wedding, the actual location of the wedding or the location of the license? We are getting our license from city hall in NYC but getting married upstate, the local clerks office upstate sounded confused when our officiant called them asking about any paperwork needed as she is registered in NYC already.
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Jun 21, 2017 09:15
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I have no direct experience with marriage in New York, but it appears that officiant registration is only a thing for ceremonies being performed within NYC limits. See: http://www.cityclerk.nyc.gov/html/marriage/officiant_reg.shtml https://www.health.ny.gov/publications/4210/
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Jun 21, 2017 20:45
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Ten days to go! More dress drama, today was supposed to be my final fitting, but they called and said I needed to reschedule for later in the week. I said no, I'm coming in today. The reason they wanted me to reschedule is because the dress isn't don't yet... They promised it would be done by Thursday, but they want to keep it to press it until next week. I'm working nights straight through to the wedding, so I think I'm just going to take my dress home on Thursday and have my friend steam it. This place is getting such a bad online review when the dress is finally in my hands! Everything else is going really well, we are ready to go. Dealing with the dress people has been the only issue.
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Jun 27, 2017 03:15
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Got married yesterday! Everything went perfectly smoothly, and we had so much fun. It was amazing. Everyone says it goes by fast, and it's true, it felt like it only lasted a split second. I can't believe how wonderful it was from start to finish. Our ceremony was outdoors, and all week the weather was forecast to be pretty much perfect, 75 degrees and sunny. The morning was beautiful, but a big thunderstorm rolled in minutes before the ceremony started. We were under a pavilion but it was down pouring and windy, we had our ceremony with lightning and thunder. It was actually very romantic, and the umbrellas I bought just in case came in handy. The rain stopped as soon as we reached our reception site, and the rest of the day was sunny and gorgeous. I didn't get hardly any of the photos I had in mind because the park turned to mud, but that's okay. Maybe we can do them on our one year anniversary or something. The only issue we had was that we had ordered 55 plates worth of food, and about 20 people who had RSVP'd didn't show up. That's $500 worth of food that didn't get eaten, and I couldn't convince the vendor to let us take it home. It was a little sad to see so many empty spots, and some people who I really care about who promised to be there didn't come, which hurt my feelings. But, the people who did come (and braved an outdoor wedding in a thunderstorm) were all really important to us and we had a great time, which is all that matters.
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Jul 8, 2017 23:20
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Interesting thing I learned: if you have no gift registry, and tell everyone that you don't need gifts, to just show up and enjoy the wedding, they will all give you checks and cash. It was weird, unexpected, and nice.
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Jul 14, 2017 00:00
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lifg posted:Interesting thing I learned: if you have no gift registry, and tell everyone that you don't need gifts, to just show up and enjoy the wedding, they will all give you checks and cash. Welcome to a Chinese wedding.
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Jul 14, 2017 00:43
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Yeah, a friend of mine was attending a Chinese wedding last weekend and asked me what to do about the fact that their invitations said "your presence is blessing enough" etc and I pointed out that this meant he should bring a red envelope. Which he did, along with every other guest. It was a church wedding in the groom's father's church, they probably nearly broke even on the whole thing
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Jul 14, 2017 02:16
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My "160" wedding somehow got up to 209 invitees. Not entirely sure how that happened.
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Jul 14, 2017 02:23
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Just checking in. I wanted to be sure I'm on track; a month-and-a-half out is about the point where you say "gently caress this, and gently caress these people, I'm going to elope" right?
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Aug 1, 2017 17:20
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Hopes Fall posted:Just checking in. I wanted to be sure I'm on track; a month-and-a-half out is about the point where you say "gently caress this, and gently caress these people, I'm going to elope" right? I mean, it varies; I think my wife was saying that from a year out up until the day before?
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Aug 1, 2017 17:22
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Hopes Fall posted:Just checking in. I wanted to be sure I'm on track; a month-and-a-half out is about the point where you say "gently caress this, and gently caress these people, I'm going to elope" right? That's where I'm at. Only the promise of having a planner to wrangle everyone day-of is keeping me sane
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Aug 1, 2017 17:24
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Nephzinho posted:My "160" wedding somehow got up to 209 invitees. Not entirely sure how that happened. As someone that's been married twice by now, I can tell you exactly where this came from: Parents' coworkers I cannot tell you how many people I met for the first time during my first wedding, and I was then told "This is So-and-So, from your mother-in-law's place of work" and I'm left thinking, "I paid $65 a plate for someone I've never met in my life and will probably never see again?"
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Aug 1, 2017 17:31
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Pope Corky the IX posted:
How does this happen / how do you end up with no control of the guest list
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Aug 2, 2017 12:16
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Scudworth posted:How does this happen / how do you end up with no control of the guest list When your parents/in-laws invite people from their jobs and then tell you "What am I supposed to do, uninvite them? I work with them every day!" Also, this happened with my first wedding. My second wedding was sixty people and never deviated from that number.
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Aug 2, 2017 13:03
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Scudworth posted:How does this happen / how do you end up with no control of the guest list My inlaws acted as if they should have had total control of the guest list and that there was no reason that me and my wife should have had 50% of the invites.
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Aug 2, 2017 13:06
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Pope Corky the IX posted:As someone that's been married twice by now, I can tell you exactly where this came from: Yeah, the 209 is only people we know, almost no +1's, and no co-workers/etc.
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Aug 2, 2017 13:48
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My guest list ballooned from 80 to 100 for the same reason. Telling my mother "no more" after she had already helped pay for the wedding was a hard but necessary conversion. Most of then declined to come anyways, so it worked out in the end.
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Aug 2, 2017 16:58
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Our rule was "I refuse to meet anyone on my wedding day." This went not just for family but also for our own coworkers-- if we hadn't ended up at the same bar or at a party at some point, they weren't invited. I imagine even unreasonable people can be made to see reason with something like that.
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Aug 3, 2017 00:10
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silvergoose posted:I mean, it varies; I think my wife was saying that from a year out up until the day before? coronatae posted:That's where I'm at. Only the promise of having a planner to wrangle everyone day-of is keeping me sane Yeah I've been pretending not to be panicked for about a year, but now poo poo is real. The whole "small wedding, doing everything myself" thing is garbage. I have help. I just don't wanna anymore.
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Aug 6, 2017 01:01
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Ugh, our "150ish" wedding list is now up to 250ish with plus 1s. Is expecting 75% or so to show up fair? Also, is there any way to get a sense of how much a wedding actually costs? All of these seems incredibly opaque (I'm guessing for this reason), and I can see things spiraling out of control very quickly. We're touring a few venues in a couple of weeks: is asking to see an invoice for a wedding they've had there unreasonable?
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Aug 6, 2017 16:54
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If the venue has wedding packages you'll get a good idea immediately when you tour. 250 is big, but at that size you'll have a lot of "no"s.
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Aug 6, 2017 16:58
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lifg posted:If the venue has wedding packages you'll get a good idea immediately when you tour. 250 is big, but at that size you'll have a lot of "no"s. Many of these venues have wedding packages, but I guess I have no idea of how much a wedding really costs. If we multiply 150 guests x their per person price, I have no idea if the additional stuff (decorations, etc) costs 25% more or 100% more.
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Aug 6, 2017 17:03
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Residency Evil posted:Many of these venues have wedding packages, but I guess I have no idea of how much a wedding really costs. If we multiply 150 guests x their per person price, I have no idea if the additional stuff (decorations, etc) costs 25% more or 100% more. It costs a bag of money, give or take a bit. Like 50-100 per person plus fixed costs. You could check out an online wedding cost calculator, but IMO those estimates are only barely a ballpark figure. I recommend asking questions of the people giving you tours, they'll have good answers for your area and budget.
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Aug 6, 2017 17:33
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Month away, starting to get to the point where I should probably be working on my vows. Too busy going rainman on the seating chart and chasing down the last few RSVPs. Not nervous about the wedding, but really at this point just nervous about having forgotten something about the party.
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Aug 23, 2017 01:50
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On the advice of this thread, I bought from my new fiancée's engagement ring from johnnybrookheart.com. I wanted this one , and I knew nothing about jewelry or diamonds or anything in the engagement ring buying realm. I asked him for a center stone that looked like the picture, and he made it work for me for $3,000 even including shipping (it was $4,000 Canadian at the time, but what can you do?  )It was a great experience, and the ring turned out absolutely amazing. 
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Aug 25, 2017 17:20
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Is it weird to rewear the same outfit for for the rehearsal dinner as for the bridal shower?
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Sep 6, 2017 04:55
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Nah that's what I'm doing too
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Sep 6, 2017 05:04
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We are planning a semi-unplugged wedding in that we don't want guests to turn off their phones and taking pictures are permitted BUT only selfies and to not do it during the important parts of the ceremony (i.e. entrance, kiss). What's the best way to phrase this?
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Sep 6, 2017 17:10
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Disharmony posted:We are planning a semi-unplugged wedding in that we don't want guests to turn off their phones and taking pictures are permitted BUT only selfies and to not do it during the important parts of the ceremony (i.e. entrance, kiss). What's the best way to phrase this? I think a "Only Selfies" policy will be... really confusing? Maybe just a friendly reminder to keep their drat phone away during the ceremony. Like..."We want everyone to relax and enjoy our ceremony, and request that you keep phones and cameras tucked away until the reception. We have hired a professional photographer to document the moment, and can't wait to share the pictures with you!"
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Sep 6, 2017 18:22
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The only selfies thing is holding you back from the much easier "no pictures till dinner / after the first dance" structure which has tons of wording and sign examples around. "No pictures of any of the wedding party or bride/groom/etc" would also possibly allow easier wording for the same effect.
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Sep 7, 2017 10:42
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Disharmony posted:We are planning a semi-unplugged wedding in that we don't want guests to turn off their phones and taking pictures are permitted BUT only selfies and to not do it during the important parts of the ceremony (i.e. entrance, kiss). What's the best way to phrase this? You can ask the minister or officiant to get them to put the phones away; people tend to listen to them.
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Sep 7, 2017 13:39
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ONE MONTH TO GO THIS IS HAPPENING My ring arrived yesterday and it's awesome. Also, time to start pestering people for RSVPs and inviting B-listers.
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Sep 7, 2017 18:30
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overdesigned posted:ONE MONTH TO GO I have had my ring on my desk for over a month and pretty much just stare at it with 2 weeks to go. Good luck with RSVP chasing, they are a biiiiitch. With 2 weeks to go we pretty much left our remaining 3 missing RSVPs on the seating chart at the end of tables just incase they show up, but didn't count them in the headcount because gently caress paying $100/plate for no-shows.
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Sep 7, 2017 18:41
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Livingston posted:On the advice of this thread, I bought from my new fiancée's engagement ring from johnnybrookheart.com. Thank you very much. I never get to see where my rings after they're sent off so it's a treat to get to see a photo on the hand.
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Sep 8, 2017 04:23
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Disharmony posted:We are planning a semi-unplugged wedding in that we don't want guests to turn off their phones and taking pictures are permitted BUT only selfies and to not do it during the important parts of the ceremony (i.e. entrance, kiss). What's the best way to phrase this? During prelude/seating I ask the guests to switch their devices into airplane mode and stash them. I usually say something to the effect of, "There are professional photographers on site to handle everything. We respectfully request that everyone keep their cameras/phones/whatever away during the ceremony today." Added benefit of the sudden influx of 150 cell phones messing with my wireless gear being mitigated. I've got three weddings to go this season. Happily got to see a fellow goon from last year who I played for in attendance at one of the weddings. I'm 26 down and holy hell am I tired. Groom at the wedding last weekend threw a full front flip after the first dance. Gotta admit, that was pretty impressive in a tux and patent leather shoes.
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Sep 11, 2017 20:32
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My check to the caterer didn't bounce! Way too excited about this.
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Sep 14, 2017 18:17
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