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Ghostlight
Sep 25, 2009

maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me



Terrigen is a mutagen and bestows powers by rewriting DNA just as Mutants get their powers just from having hosed up DNA. The whole reason they go into cocoons is to protect themselves while their genetic material is rewritten - you couldn't make a pre-cocoon clone out of a post-cocoon Inhuman because that genetic information has been completely destroyed.

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gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
if that were true then inhuman children should have powers without terrigen.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
It's almost like it's a plot conceit.

HitTheTargets
Mar 3, 2006

I came here to laugh at you.
Sadly, once you hit the point of "DNA gives you laser eyes from the punch dimension" you've lost your chance to fall back on "DNA doesn't work that way!"

Ghostlight
Sep 25, 2009

maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me



THEY'RE NOT LASERS

Soonmot
Dec 19, 2002

Entrapta fucking loves robots




Grimey Drawer

Ghostlight posted:

THEY'RE NOT LASERS
They're punch lasers

Blockhouse
Sep 7, 2014

You Win!
the punch dimension was never a thing outside of a marvel handbook

If you want to talk about the dumbest X-gene thing though I'd give it to my favorite mutant Rockslide, whose mutation gave him a rock body initially and now he's a floating psychic consciousness with geokinetic powers, meaning he no longer has DNA period.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Soonmot posted:

They're punch lasers

"Yeah, fruit punch..."
"Logan! We don't teach that kind of homophobic nonsense here at the school!"

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

Day 68: Needle

I actually do remember this one from West Coast Avengers, only because I kind of liked the design of the character back then. Now I wonder about some of the design decisions, like the loose sock on the right side of the head.

This character has also been brought to you (enhanced) by Satannish.


Endless Mike
Aug 13, 2003



6' 140?! No way he is that built.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

Endless Mike posted:

6' 140?! No way he is that built.

Maybe he's not really that built and is just an expert tailor as it says.

notthegoatseguy
Sep 6, 2005

Expert tailor?

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


I feel like the standardized look of the Handbook profiles does this obviously-stylized character no favors. It'd be like trying to draw DC's The Tallyman in that style.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

Day 69: Wildheart

More people probably know this guy as Wild Child, but he was also known as Wildheart for a time. He's a Weapon X guy, but really who isn't? This profile may be the most normal he's ever looked in a book. At the time of this he was actually mostly back to a human appearance and was involved with Aurora as a member of Alpha Flight. I'm not really sure of his status now, but last I saw he had reverted to more of an animal state and was bald.


Selachian
Oct 9, 2012

Claws, regeneration, berserker rages. He's basically Chinese knockoff Wolverine, huh?

Rirse
May 7, 2006

by R. Guyovich
Never knew Wildchild was a character prior to Age of Apocalypse. I always thought he was one of those characters made for the series like Holocaust who ended up in 616.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company
Wild Child was the result of Weapon X saying "poo poo, we lost Wolverine, let's get another one."

Bad Things happened to him during the Weapon X series that Frank Tieri wrote; he got depowered during M-Day, got his powers back somehow, then got killed by Omega Red.

It was not a great loss, as he is a terrible character that exists solely to tell Wolverine stories that Wolverine can't be in.

Knives Amilli
Sep 26, 2014
As a kid, I remember seeing the Age of Apocalypse Sabretooth toy (with a Wild Child accessory figure as he was Creeds "dog" in that reality) and thinking Wild Child was Creeds Cabana Boy or some poo poo like that.

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


The first time I saw Wild Child was during a crossover involving X-Force, The Leader and I think Spider-man? I don't think Hulk was in it. I remember thinking he was like a human version of the tazmanian devil, but lame.

Open Marriage Night
Sep 18, 2009

"Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"


Knives Amilli posted:

As a kid, I remember seeing the Age of Apocalypse Sabretooth toy (with a Wild Child accessory figure as he was Creeds "dog" in that reality) and thinking Wild Child was Creeds Cabana Boy or some poo poo like that.

That was a sweet set of toys. Weapon X had different hand attachments, including a machine gun. Apocalypse had a buzz saw hand, and Magneto had a big metal hand that went over his regular hand.

X-O
Apr 28, 2002

Long Live The King!

Day 70: Blue Shield

He's got the boots and gloves! And the power of insurance! I have no idea who this guy is and if he's been in anything since what's listed in his bibliography. We've seen a lot dumber characters but there's few that seem as superfluous as this guy. I mean he's got a force field. That's pretty much it.


Nilbop
Jun 5, 2004

Looks like someone forgot his hardhat...
"Yeah, yeah! I'll say I'm a crime fighter masquerading as a mobster! That'll work!"

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
It's like he's put a template on his chest and back for the hole someone's going to blow through him.

joehonkie
Jan 12, 2006

I'm a member of STARS.
Yes, long term exposure to high powered stuff probably does cause genetic changes, but probably not "give you the same power" kind of genetic changes.

Selachian
Oct 9, 2012

There must be a special level of shame associated with having your first appearance be in Dazzler.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007
having superhuman invulnerability is like the bare minimum to work security at pegasus. that place has seen some poo poo, man.

Open Marriage Night
Sep 18, 2009

"Do you want to talk to a spider, Peter?"


Selachian posted:

There must be a special level of shame associated with having your first appearance be in Dazzler.

The twist is that there's no shame in Dazzler.

RandallODim
Dec 30, 2010

Another 1? Aww man...

Open Marriage Night posted:

The twist is that there's no shame in Dazzler.

I love Dazzler and will forever be sad that there are no good fake Dazzler tour t-shirts.

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻



X-O posted:

Day 70: Blue Shield

He's got the boots and gloves! And the power of insurance! I have no idea who this guy is and if he's been in anything since what's listed in his bibliography. We've seen a lot dumber characters but there's few that seem as superfluous as this guy. I mean he's got a force field. That's pretty much it.




...

His shield is white.

Lurdiak
Feb 26, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


X-O posted:

Day 70: Blue Shield

He's got the boots and gloves! And the power of insurance! I have no idea who this guy is and if he's been in anything since what's listed in his bibliography. We've seen a lot dumber characters but there's few that seem as superfluous as this guy. I mean he's got a force field. That's pretty much it.




It feels like they got halfway through coming up with a character, went to lunch, and then an intern picked up the pages and sent them to print.

BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

Don't you tell me my business again.
Wasn't the Blue Shield a character in Astro City?

Selachian
Oct 9, 2012

BiggerBoat posted:

Wasn't the Blue Shield a character in Astro City?

No, that was the Blue Knight.

enigmahfc
Oct 10, 2003

EFF TEE DUB!!
EFF TEE DUB!!
Significant issues: Dazzler #5 (encountered Dazzler)

Not fought Dazzler, not teamed-up with Dazzler, just sort of hung around her for a second or two. That pretty much sums this guy up. Also, that is the only issue I know this guy from.

Edge & Christian
May 20, 2001

Earth-1145 is truly the best!
A world of singing, magic frogs,
high adventure, no shitposters
Hey, debuting in Dazzler puts Blue Shield in the company of luminaries such as Terror Tank, Beefer, Doctor Sax, Johnny Guitar, Roman Nekoboh (whose name is Hoboken Namor backwards for some reason), the Outriders (Stomper, Chunk, and Mama), and uh... yeah, actually Blue Shield is somehow the breakout star of that run.

ecavalli
Nov 18, 2012


Edge & Christian posted:

Hey, debuting in Dazzler puts Blue Shield in the company of luminaries such as Terror Tank, Beefer, Doctor Sax, Johnny Guitar, Roman Nekoboh (whose name is Hoboken Namor backwards for some reason), the Outriders (Stomper, Chunk, and Mama), and uh... yeah, actually Blue Shield is somehow the breakout star of that run.

Please note: Beefer is not to be confused with Beef, a wholly separate Marvel character with a similarly stupid name and likewise forgettable existence.

GPTribefan
Jul 2, 2007
Something witty yet inspirational about the Cleveland Indians

ecavalli posted:

Please note: Beefer is not to be confused with Beef, a wholly separate Marvel character with a similarly stupid name and likewise forgettable existence.

Or Beefcake, an LMD that appeared in Dan Slott's She-Hulk run. I don't like that I know this.

The only thing you need to know about the Blue Shield is he poo poo the bed big time trying out for the Avengers alongside Speedball in Captain America 351

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

I love the idea that there's a guy out there who shares Namor's attitude, powers and behavior, but rules over Hoboken.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
He gets weaker whenever he leaves. It's more of a curse than a mutation.

HitTheTargets
Mar 3, 2006

I came here to laugh at you.
When I was 14 or whatever and heard about Watchmen for the first time, I thought Dr. Manhattan's powers only worked in Manhattan.

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BiggerBoat
Sep 26, 2007

Don't you tell me my business again.

Selachian posted:

No, that was the Blue Knight.

Ah, yes. But if memory serves, they looked pretty similar. I can see how I got them confused.

Can I post one? One of the first comics I remember reading was an issue of Fantastic Four where Ben was basically trying to score a "goal" against a villain who was pretty much an intergalactic "space goalie". His name was "Gaard" and apparently his only job was to "gaard" a goal in outer space from a puck (mcguffin) that Ben had for reasons.

I don't think he ever appeared again or had any powers besides being a hockey goalie. Here's Gaard, gaarding his hockey net:

https://universaldork.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/gaard.jpg

HitTheTargets posted:

When I was 14 or whatever and heard about Watchmen for the first time, I thought Dr. Manhattan's powers only worked in Manhattan.

And also only when he's practicing medicine. Dude makes sick bank.

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