outlier posted:

Looks like revisionist Tolkien is a genre in Russia.

food court bailiff posted:

I just finished The Girl on the Train and while it certainly wasn't the worst thing I've ever read, I'm gobsmacked that it was apparently the fastest-selling hardcover adult novel of all time when it was released. How...does that even happen?

food court bailiff posted:

I just finished The Girl on the Train and while it certainly wasn't the worst thing I've ever read, I'm gobsmacked that it was apparently the fastest-selling hardcover adult novel of all time when it was released. How...does that even happen?

food court bailiff posted:

I just finished The Girl on the Train and while it certainly wasn't the worst thing I've ever read, I'm gobsmacked that it was apparently the fastest-selling hardcover adult novel of all time when it was released. How...does that even happen?

food court bailiff posted:

I just finished The Girl on the Train and while it certainly wasn't the worst thing I've ever read, I'm gobsmacked that it was apparently the fastest-selling hardcover adult novel of all time when it was released. How...does that even happen?

quote:

When Captain John Rumford, USMC, stands up for the dead Marines of Iwo Jima against the forces of political correctness that have invaded his beloved Corps, he is promptly cashiered for his trouble. But upon his return to his native Maine, he discovers that even in the countryside, there is no escaping the political correctness that has spread throughout the United States of America. And when what begins as a small effort by some former Marines to help fellow Christians in Boston free themselves from the plague of crime in their neighborhoods turns into a larger resistance movement, Captain Rumford unexpectedly finds himself leading his fellow revolutionaries into combat against an ideological enemy that takes many different forms.

Victoria: A Novel of 4th Generation War is a vision of an American restoration. For some it will be seen as a poignant dream, for others, a horrific nightmare. But Victoria is more than a conventional novel and involves considerably more than mere entertainment. In much the same way Atlas Shrugged was the dramatization of a particular philosophical perspective, Victoria is the dramatization of a new form of modern war that is taking shape as the state gradually loses its four-century monopoly on violence. It is a book that informs, even teaches, through example. And sometimes, the lessons are very harsh indeed

quote:

“Sadly, this great culture of ours, Western culture, is under attack,” the professor replied. “The universities today are active and conscious agents in its destruction. Indeed, they have generated theories as to why Western culture should be destroyed. Of course, they aren’t alone. The most powerful single force in America now is the entertainment industry, and it is also an agent of cultural destruction. Many of the politicians play the game too. The usual code-words are ‘racism, sexism, and homophobia.’ When you hear them, you’re hearing the worms gnawing at the foundation.”


I’d been told my high crime was “sexism,” so that clicked, and Col. Ryan was certainly a politician. It sounded as if there were a new battlefield I needed to understand.

“So where do I start?” I asked.

quote:

About a week later I got a letter. It was from my old company Gunnery Sergeant, a black fellow and a good Marine. He was also a husband and father—rare among black males by the 21st century—and a Christian. He wrote to ask for my help.

quote:

“They—you—always end up getting sucked in to the Republican Party,” Mr. Kraft continued. “It holds the keys to the club. And it sold us out long ago. Sure, it tells us what we want to hear, but it snickers and winks the whole time it’s talking. The only people it delivers for are those on Wall Street and in the country clubs.”

“The fact of the matter is that you can’t create what we believe in, a country that follows the Ten Commandments, from Washington. The people in Washington follow only one commandment: Promote Yourself. You have to create it here, not by what you say, but by how you live.” Kraft’s words brought to mind something my friend who worked for a Senator had said to me. He said the difference between the Democratic Party and the Republican Party was the difference between Madonna and Donald Trump.

quote:

As our culture began to fall apart, in the 1960s, the gays started “coming out.” This broke the old rule of “Don’t frighten the horses,” which had allowed mutual toleration. The rule meant that they were not open about their orientation, and we pretended not to notice it.


By the 2000s, they had become one of the cultural Marxists’ sacred “victims” groups, which meant they were encouraged to flaunt their vice and we were supposed to approve of it. This was justified in the name of “toleration,” but toleration and approval are different. You may tolerate things you don’t approve. I was willing to tolerate gays, but I would sooner have given my approval to an act involving three high yellow whores, a wading pool full of green Jello, and Flipper.

As usual, Maine had elected a liberal Governor, a former Senator named Snidely Hokem. He’d gotten tired of the Caligula’s court that was Washington, where he’d competed hard for the role of Incitatus’s hindquarters. But he still liked having his own backside kissed, so he figured being Governor might be about right for him.

To keep up his liberal standing, he had to find one of the “victims” groups and abase himself and the State of Maine before it. That was a challenge, since our winters kept out most “minorities” and our women had too much real work to do to be feminists.
The gays provided the perfect answer. So on September 23, 2020, The Honorable Snidely Hokem issued an executive order that each public school in Maine, including every elementary school, had to hire at least one homosexual guidance counselor. The order explained that this was necessary so “students with different sexual preferences would not feel excluded.” In order to determine who had what “sexual preference,” the gay counselors had to be given “unrestricted public and private access” to all the kids.

Suddenly, Mainers found their “luxury liberalism” had turned on them and bitten them, hard.

I expected Hokem to back down in the face of the voters’ wrath. After all, he was a politician. But he didn’t. Instead, he got on the television and gave a real stem-winder about how “we were all guilty of oppressing people who were really no different from ourselves.” Far from condemning them, “we should confront our own homophobia, which is a greater sin than any they might commit, not that what they do is sinful.” “Let us ask ourselves,” he concluded, “whether our children are not safer with these counselors than with the average Roman Catholic priest. After all, the sexually victimized have never led an Inquisition.”

quote:

“Okay, guys, I’ve got just one question: how can you get me out of this one?” Hokem opened.

“At this point, frankly, I don’t know,” said his chief fundraiser. “Why in hell did you give that god-damned speech? It sounded like the most radical gay activist in the state wrote it for you.”

“That’s because the most radical gay activist in the state did write it for me. It came straight from Don Rexrod’s office.”

“poo poo, he’s head of the North American Man-Boy Love Association. Even most of the other gays don’t like those perverts,” said Hokem’s chief of staff, “Ms.” Virginia Teitelbaum. “Boss, if you’re dancing to his tune, you’ve got to tell us why.”

“Because Don and the rest of the gays have me by the balls, that’s why,” Hokem said. “Well, not that way, but you know what I mean.”

“No, we don’t know what you mean,” said Teitelbaum. “We can’t help you unless you tell us what the real problem is. You know what you’re doing is political suicide. Exactly why have you gotten so far in bed with these people?”

“Now cut it out,” Hokem yelled. “I’m not in bed with any gays. I’m perfectly normal. I’ve got a family, after all. Hell, if I weren’t normal I probably wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Years ago, back in the early 1990s when I was on the Senate Armed Services Committee, a bunch of us took a junket out to the Army’s training center at Ft. Irwin in the California desert. We figured that wouldn’t look like a junket to the folks back home, but the place was close to Vegas. We flew back each night to Caesar’s Palace, where we had the usual free suites. Anyway, a bunch of us got plastered at the bar and we spotted some really nice tail. I mean, they were gorgeous.”

“We figured, what the hell, we’re Senators, right? Who’s gonna make trouble for us? So we took them upstairs and started having some fun. Strangely, it was right where they held that Tailhook party.”
“I swear, none of us even suspected they were drag queens. By the time I figured out something was where it shouldn’t be, we were all in pretty deep. And the bitch, or whatever she, or he, was, was wired for sound. They had the whole goddamn thing on tape! The drag queens gave the tape to a bunch of gay political activists. So when our gay friends call, I listen,” Hokem concluded.

quote:

The challenge, and our opportunity, came in the early summer of 2021. The Democrats were back in power in Washington, and their slogan was “A Rainbow Over America.” For Maine, that translated into an announcement on June 22 by “Ms.” Lateesha Umbonga LaDrek, the Secretary of HUD, that her department had purchased two large apartment clusters in Bangor. The current rent-paying residents would be moved out, and 350 black federal prison parolees from out of state would be moved in. LaDrek said the purpose of this action was “to offer oppressed people of color a second chance by letting them serve as ambassadors of diversity to the people of Bangor, who were imprisoned in an all-white ghetto.”

Maine seethed. But after years of being told that they were evil “racists,” people felt morally unable to defend themselves. They dared not speak openly against the trashing of their community...


“Let the enemy overextend himself. But how do we keep them from moving the black scum in?”


“By moving someone else in first.” The speaker was one of our more unusual recruits, Father Dimitri, an Orthodox missionary from Russia. Russia was again a Christian nation, under a new Tsar, and she saw her mission as carrying the Word to the repaganized West....

“What are orcs?” Sergeant Danielov asked.

“The word is from Tolkien,” Father Dimitri replied. “He was one of the great Christian writers of the 20th century. In his Lord of the Rings, which is Christian analogy, orcs are soldiers of the Evil One. Those creatures your government wants to move in to Bangor are orcs, believe me.”

quote:

Meanwhile, the 250 black parolees who were to move into Bangor had been stuck in a couple of motels near Worcester, Massachusetts, waiting for the federal troops to clear their way in. The Justice Department’s lawyers had determined that, since they had been paroled, they could not be kept under guard...

A summer day in New England is a true joy. That Fourth of July was especially nice. The temperature got up to 77 degrees, with low humidity, a gentle breeze out of the northwest and a few white, puffy, cotton-ball clouds, the kind that children like to see animal shapes in. Sister Mary Frances of the Church of the Blessed Sacrament had brought her Bible school pupils, grades two through five, to a small park on the bank of the West River. They had sandwiches and cookies, toys, a big American flag and sparklers to celebrate the day. Sister Mary Frances had planned to read them the story of the Ride of Paul Revere.

Thirteen of the parolees discovered them there just after lunch. By the time the police found them later in the day, the Sister and most of the children were lying where they had knelt to say the Rosary, praying for the protection that did not come in this life. She had been raped repeatedly before being strangled with the chain on her Crucifix. Perhaps she had bought the three surviving children the time they needed to crawl off into the woods and hide. A posse of state troopers and frantic parents found them there just after dusk.


But “Ms.” LaDrek of HUD happened to be in Worcester that very weekend. She had come to open a new high-rise public housing development, modeled on St. Louis famed Pruett-Igoe. At her news conference, she said that the slaughter of Sister Mary Frances and her young charges “was nothing compared to what people of color had suffered in America since the white invaders first arrived. Maybe it would help the white people of Massachusetts have a better understanding of Black Rage. If so, it might be a positive experience for Worcester.”

The news conference had been carried live on most of the Worcester TV and radio stations. It concluded with Ms. LaDrek leading the new residents of the housing project into the commons room for a nice lunch. By 12:30, the courtyard in front of the project was filling with Worcester’s citizenry, and they weren’t in a celebratory mood. They were construction workers, housewives, good Catholics most of them, some coming straight from the noon mass at Blessed Sacrament. Their kids could have been the ones raped and butchered. In some cases, they were.

The priest from Blessed Sacrament himself, with some of the nuns, led the uninvited guests into the luncheon, chanting the Dies Irae. The distinguished Secretary of HUD tried to bolt out the back door, but one of the nuns, a sturdy Irish girl, tackled her. The swift, new elevator whisked LaDrek and a party of escorts to the top floor, where a window was knocked out. The Honorable Secretary of HUD followed the shards of glass down, to a hard and fatal landing in the front parking lot.

quote:

“I was elected Governor of this state and I will stay Governor of this state as long as I want the drat job,” Fullarbottom roared. “I don’t care what these people want or what anyone wants. I spent my life working my way to this position. For thirty years, I did all the crappy jobs the Democratic Party asked me to do, squeezing money out of every store owner in Burlington, kissing the backsides of all the party bigwigs, marching in the drat Jefferson-Jackson Day parade with a blintz in one hand and a kielbasa in the other. If the people who elected me wish they hadn’t, tough. The office is mine, and I aim to keep it until I don’t enjoy it any more.”

quote:

By the third decade of the 21st century, the dissolution of the United States had reached the point where each year brought a new crisis. The crisis of 2023 began with the Persell Amendment to the Clean Air Act, a measure intended to prevent the smoking of tobacco.The government and the “health industry” that lived off the government whooped it up that tobacco smoke was second only to Zyklon B as the worst thing you could inhale..

And politicians were always on the lookout for suckers. So when the Clean Air Act came up for renewal in 2023, Senator Whitman Persell (“Wimpy” to his friends), Democrat of California, saw a chance to score some points with the anti-tobacco harpies. He proposed an amendment whereby anyone who smelled tobacco smoke anywhere might sue any nearby smoker. The plaintiff did not have to prove that the smoker was smoking at the time; the fact that he or she was an admitted smoker was considered proof enough. The amendment encouraged triple damages for “pain and suffering.

As the law intended, smokers found themselves hunted like rats. A smoker, placed under oath on the witness stand, had to admit smoking or be guilty of perjury. But if they admitted they smoked, they lost the suit, along with their life savings and most else they owned. Repairmen, neighbors, even family members would come into a smoker’s home and promptly file a lawsuit, which they won. If someone smelled smoke in someone else’s clothes, they sued and won. The Surgeon General even issued a pamphlet suggesting ways smokers could be trapped into revealing their filthy habit, and then sued. It was a virtual reign of terror, enforced by impoverishment.

It started about six months after the Persell Amendment took effect. In Pasadena, a little old lady had been sued by a Meals on Wheels deliverywoman who had spotted a telltale cigarette butt in her kitchen garbage. As usual, the smoker lost, and the court ordered her home seized and sold to pay the deliverywoman her winnings. In the final court session on the case, the little old lady pulled a Saturday Night Special out of her handbag and blew away the judge and the plaintiff.

She was shot down herself by a sheriff, but on her way to court she had sent a letter to the L.A. Times explaining her action. “I had nothing more to lose,” she wrote. “I would rather die quickly than be left on the street, penniless. And I won’t stop smoking. I was born and grew up in England, and I remember how, in 1940, when a Nazi invasion seemed certain, Churchill had posters printed up saying, ‘You Can Always Take One With You.’ So that is what I will try to do.”

Her story was picked up by the rest of the media, not in sympathy but to demonstrate how all smokers were dangerous extremists. However, smokers got a different message. “You Can Always Take One With You” posters appeared on walls and street signs. Other smokers who had lost everything, or feared they soon would, began shooting. They shot judges and lawyers. They shot the people who had sued them, or other members of the plaintiffs families. They shot government health personnel. One of them shot Senator Persell; regrettably, he survived. They all left the same message: “I had nothing more to lose.”

Nckdictator posted:

So, someone on another forum has been doing a read-through of Victoria: A Novel of 4th Generation War by William Lind, a writer for various far-right sources and former aide to Senator and Presidential candidate Gary Hart, with whom he wrote a book.

Wheat Loaf posted:

Gary "The best chance to stop Reagan" Hart co-wrote this book?

quote:

As usual, Maine had elected a liberal Governor

Nckdictator posted:

quote:

Lind has authored and co-authored (with Paul Weyrich) a number of monographs on behalf of the Free Congress Foundation attempting to persuade American Conservatives to support government funding for mass transit programs, especially rail transit, the pair have also written about "cultural Marxism" as being an organized conspiracy against the traditional Christian values of America.[9] He was Associate Publisher of a quarterly magazine called The New Electric Railway Journal from its launch in 1988 until 1996,[10] and starting in January 1994 he also co-hosted a monthly program about light rail on the National Empowerment Television network; the program used the same name as the magazine.[11]

NoneMoreNegative posted:

lol it's like someone took the TV show 'Decker' completely at face value

Mr President our this country is under attack by terrorists both domestic and foreign

Dreqqus posted:

That's Becker. Decker is an adult swim show starring one half of Tim and Eric as basically Steven Segal.

hackbunny posted:

The revolutionary fervor against african americans

Domus posted:

You can tell that this guy really thinks that, too. That it's somehow unusual for a black male to support his family. I bet he doesn't know a single actual person of color.

quote:

On July 27, 2027, the blacks of Newark, New Jersey rose against their oppressors and took over the city.

The rioting started in the usual way. It had been blazing hot in Newark for more than a week, with nighttime temperatures staying in the 90s. On the 25th, a few fires were set. The tomtoms beat through the night, and on the 26th the looting began. But that evening, outside the Mt. Zion A.M.E. church, the script changed.

The congregation had gathered at about 5 PM, more for safety than worship; black rioters usually didn’t fire-bomb black churches. The preacher, one Rev. Ebenezer Smith, delivered an unusual sermon:

"Maybe at one time our oppressors were white people. But that is not true any more. I have never seen a slave owner, or a slave dealer, or even a slave. They were all dead long before I was born, before my father and his father were born.

I have never met a member of the Ku Klux Klan. There may still be a few of those somewhere, but I doubt if there are any within a hundred miles of Newark. If I did meet a Klansman in his white sheet, I would laugh. We Christian black people are oppressed today worse than we have ever been in our history. Our lives are worse than they were in the deep South under segregation. They are probably worse than they were when we were slaves, because then we were at least a valuable piece of property.

“It is time for us to fight our real oppressors, the drug dealers, the whore-mongers, the gang members. The fact that they are black makes no difference. They are our black oppressors. They are not our brothers. They are worse enemies than whites ever were. It is time for us to battle them, and to take our city back from them.”

He then equipped his congregation with baseball bats and led them out into the street. Singing “Onward Christian Soldiers,” they proceeded to beat the crap out of any gang member they caught. Other honest blacks, seeing what was happening, came out and joined in. Some had guns, others had ropes, kitchen knives or tires and gasoline cans.

When they turned the corner onto Newark’s main street, a bunch of gang members opened fire on them. A few fell, but the rest came on. They mobbed the gang members, hanged a few from the nearest lamppost and “necklaced” the rest, stuffing a gasoline soaked tire around their necks and setting it on fire.

The Internet was the command and control system. Video of burning Boyz soon filled the cell phone screens, and more decent blacks poured into the streets. By midnight, it was full-scale war, blacks against orcs. It turned out there were still a lot more blacks. The gangsters, pimps, whores, drug-dealers, and drug-users ended up lumenaria...

It took a while for the politically correct establishment to react. But they did, because they had to. One of their most useful lies was that they represented the “oppressed.” Now, their own slaves had rebelled and taken over the plantation.

Nckdictator posted:

Also, guess who published the book? Theodore "Vox 'huge rear end in a top hat' Day" Beale.

The_White_Crane posted:

Mods change my name to The Honorable Snidely Hokem TIA.

... my god what an amazing trash-fire. Thank you for that!

quote:

He said the difference between the Democratic Party and the Republican Party was the difference between Madonna and Donald Trump.

Nckdictator posted:

So, someone on another forum has been doing a read-through of Victoria: A Novel of 4th Generation War by William Lind, a writer for various far-right sources and former aide to Senator and Presidential candidate Gary Hart.

https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/coiler-reads-victoria-a-novel-of-fourth-generation-what-the.360750/

Perestroika posted:

You know, sometimes I idly wonder what it'd be like to write something like this but with the opposite political slant. Our protagonists are a mixed-race lesbian couple with a few adopted children trying to make sure they'll live in a tolerant world where they won't have to struggle against prejudice. But they're beset on all sides, harassed by racists who are inflamed by nonwhite women doing anything at all, and persecuted by a theocratic government who wants to put them into re-education camps until they come out straight.

And then I realise why I wouldn't want to write anything like that, because that poo poo hits too close to home and would just be depressing.

C.M. Kruger posted:

Apparently the guy is also a foamer.

Cradle to the Grape posted:

That book is vile in a completely unsurprising way, but I have to laugh at the idea of Maine having a super liberal government, and Bangor being an all-white Aryan sanctuary. Has this douchebag ever actually been to Maine?

quote:

The flow of yen also brought the federal army new recruits, mostly black gang members from the inner city, immigrants straight off the banana boat, and women. The gangs demanded they be accepted whole and designated as military units, with names like the Bad Boyz Battalion and the West Philly Skullsuckers, on the grounds that “forcing them into a white male structure would deny their unique cultural richness.” The result was units that spread drugs and mayhem throughout the federal army but ran as soon as someone shot at them. The immigrant outfits had Spanish as the language of command, and their officers would do anything for a bribe and nothing without one. The all-female infantry battalions were issued cardboard penises so they could take a leak in the field without wetting their drawers.

quote:

But that battle was never fought. The Texan invasion gave the Indian population in southern Mexico the opportunity for which it had long waited. On April 25, with the fall of Monterrey, Indian rebels in the Yucatan proclaimed the rebirth of the Mayan Empire at Chichen-Itza. Nahuatl-speaking Indians, the remains of the Aztecs, announced the rebirth of their kingdom in Tenochtitlan three days later. Indian columns, some led by feather-clad priests and Jaguar warriors and others reciting the Popul Vu, marched on Mexico City. The Texans pinned down the Mexican Army, so there was nothing to stop them. Mexico City fell on May 21. On the 23rd, an Aztec high priest cut the beating heart from Mr. Ambassador Zimmerman and offered it to the Hummingbird Wizard atop the Pyramid of the Sun at Teotihuacan.

quote:

...President Warner noted that the naval blockade would be difficult politically, because of probable Russian reaction. Otherwise, he seemed ready to approve the plan. But his Secretary of Defense wanted to say something.

She had represented Harlem in Congress, and after her defeat by a Black Muslim candidate the administration had given her the defense job to maintain her visibility; she was one of its biggest supporters in the black community. The 42nd Division was her baby – in fact, she had carried several of its babies, until the abortionist had restored her shapely figure – and she wanted it to have its chance to shine.

“Mr. President,” said the Honorable Kateesha Mowukuu, “I am the only black woman at this table. We have heard what these white men have to say. I would remind you that in this war, white men are our enemy. Now you will hear what a black woman has to say, and I expect all of you to listen with respect.”

“Black people have been the only warriors in history. White men can’t fight. It’s because their noses are too small. Courage comes from the nose, not the heart, as the African spiritual healers you call witch doctors have long understood. That’s why black people eat their snot. What do you white folk do with your snot? You wrap it up in a little white surrender flag and put it in your pocket. So you don’t have no courage.

...Gunpowder was invented by ancient Zimbabwean scientists, who made it from elephant poo poo. You ever hear an elephant fart? Black scientists knew there had to be some juju behind that.”

All of America’s military heroes were black people. Washington was a black man. We know that because he came from Washington, D.C., which is a black city. General U.S. Grant had a black grandmother, and so did Robert E. Lee. In fact, it was the same black woman, which is why they looked so much alike. Eisenhower is really a black name, and General George Patton got his pearl-handled revolvers from his black grand-daddy, who took them off Simon Legree.”

This racist white-boy society of yours has dissed black men big-time. You’ve throw’d ‘em in jails and cut off their tails. You’ve put AIDS in their veins and cocaine in their brains. You’ve made black mean slack and crack, Jack, and we ain’t gonna take it no more.”

And now the black warriors of our black 42nd Division, which I will rename the 1st Division, will teach these Yankee racist, sexist, crackers what happens when they mess with black people,” Ms. Mowukuu concluded. “And they don’t need no help from nobody.”

quote:

When I stuck my head into Ross’s CP, which was a single command version of the LAV, I was almost impaled by a German spiked helmet coming out.

Below the helmet was a vast, rotund figure that could only be Bill Kraft, clad in the dark blue uniform of a 19th century Prussian officer. Down the trouser legs ran the wine-red stripe of an officer of the Prussian General Staff. I must have done a double-take, because Kraft looked at me and said, “Don’t you remember why I turned down your kind offer to join the Christian Marine Corps?”

I had to think back a bit, but I did remember. Bill had said, “I wear a different uniform.” Now I knew which one.

“We were wiped off the map in 1947.” Bill said, “but Prussia is more than a place. As Hegel understood, it is also an ideal. Prussians still exist, and so does the Prussian Army, a bit of it anyway. Now, it’s fighting again, here, for what it always fought for: for our old culture, against barbarism. Someday, we will win.”

quote:

We marched all three probable-Deltas down to the rack room. I’m not sure they believed we really had a rack until they saw it. When they did, they looked rather grim. “Perhaps you’ve heard of the Retroculture movement?” I inquired gently. “We find it has wide potential application.”

Our rack operators were members of the Society for Constructive Anachronism, who had never had anything more lively than department store manikins to experiment on. The prospect of real groans excited them to no end,so they were quick about getting Shorty strapped in. A few preliminary twirls of the capstans took the slack out, and the boys were grinning as we heard the first snap, crackle, and pop. “Shame he’s not a Chinaman,” quipped the Torturemaster. “We’d soon have Rice Crappies.”

To the disappointment of the torture team, it was over quickly, after the first few screams.

quote:

I picked up the sat phone and called John Kelly again to let him know the cavalry was coming. It would be close, but we had a chance. Like last time, it rang and rang. Finally, I heard a click.

“Who dis?” a voice said in an accent I recognized all too well. Maybe it was one of Kelly’s men.

“Put Colonel Kelly on,” I ordered.

“Allah is Great! Allah gon’ kill all da white devils!” the voice replied. “All da white devils gon’ burn in hell! Ha ha ha ha….”

It was over for John. I hoped it had been quick.

quote:

The all-female infantry battalions were issued cardboard penises so they could take a leak in the field without wetting their drawers.

food court bailiff posted:

After such a disturbing/hilarious book this almost feels trite but god drat, I my wife and I tried to power through the audio book of "Truly Madly Guilty" and it was incredibly bad. I mean, it was so offensively bad that we listened to strange talk radio for background noise rather than letting it play on a long drive. I looked up the ending because the entire. goddamn. book. is one long cocktease about ~~the barbecue~~ that all these horribly unlikable people regretted going to so much. They'd all be whining about THE BARBECUE and how they wished they wouldn't have gone, or said this, or done that, and then it cuts back to THE DAY OF the BBQ and tells you thirty more seconds of banal nothingness, all while dancing around the only thing that seems to be the slightest bit interesting in these characters' lives.

It was so awful. I think every other chapter literally ended with the words "the barbecue".

Wheat Loaf posted:

Hahahahahaha okay this bit is amazing.

Toast Museum posted:

There are several commercial products for just that purpose. Some of the disposable ones are in fact cardboard. Obviously they don't look remotely like penises, but lol at that author feeling threatened by cardboard funnels.

Powaqoatse posted:

oh poo poo sorry yeah, that was my point, i forgot to say. funnels/whatevers enabling biological women to stand up and piss are probably older than history