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Get a guy therapist you can trust and see if you become bisexual
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Jun 17, 2017 00:03
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| # ? May 11, 2024 15:40 |
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I ran into my therapist on OkCupid once. Ironically I wasn't trying to stalk her, it was just a college town and I'd recently opened up my age preferences because cougars. I didn't message her, but I totally went into private mode and read all her questions. (She hid all the sex stuff so it was just boring things like "Would you date a vegetarian?".  )
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Jun 17, 2017 01:31
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maskenfreiheit posted:I ran into my therapist on OkCupid once. Ironically I wasn't trying to stalk her, it was just a college town and I'd recently opened up my age preferences because cougars. tells you something about her age preferences though quote:My high school was, for about 5 months, "haunted" by a real life Phantom of the Opera type figure who turned out to be an autistic pedophile. This feels more like a "testing out the premise for a short story" fesh than a "thing I am seriously contending actually happened" fesh I dunno, I'd read it if the prose was good enough quote:I'm a fundamentally broken and unlikable person. I don't enjoy being around people, I don't connect with others.... I'm just a garbage person who should never interact with others. Which is fine, there are people like that out there, they usually get into some job that means they never have to see people. I straight-up don't understand how some people have jobs where they have to be nice to people all day. When I worked retail the only part of the job I enjoyed was stocking the fridge, because I wouldn't have to talk to anyone, and now I have a job where I sit at a desk with headphones on all day. Meanwhile my wife is a school counselor, which seems crazy, but then again so does marrying me so v  v
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Jun 17, 2017 03:42
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In sleep he jacked to me In dreams he came
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Jun 17, 2017 04:05
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Suddenly Seymour posted:My high school was, for about 5 months, "haunted" by a real life Phantom of the Opera type figure who turned out to be an autistic pedophile. This would be almost believable except for the opera cloak. Jaime Escalante posted:I'm a fundamentally broken and unlikable person. I teach 6th grade kids. If you're in the US and have a strong teacher's union, Google "teacher's rubber room".
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Jun 17, 2017 04:45
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loquacius posted:tells you something about her age preferences though She met my age preference, not vice versa
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Jun 17, 2017 04:51
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maskenfreiheit posted:She met my age preference, not vice versa Pretty sure you have to match each other's preferences.
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Jun 17, 2017 05:08
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RFC2324 posted:Pretty sure you have to match each other's preferences. Maybe I'm misremembering. She within the half your age plus seven rule
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Jun 17, 2017 05:52
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fruit on the bottom posted:In dreams he came Huh, I made this joke earlier today.
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Jun 17, 2017 06:04
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Gynovore posted:If you're in the US and have a strong teacher's union, Google "teacher's rubber room". Sounds like a great non job if you can get it.
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Jun 17, 2017 07:28
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Not sure why phantom goon is anon? I remember a TA at high school who really got into coaching PE despite the fact he was there to shadow the head of biology. He'd come into the changing rooms to pat everybody on the back after a lesson and whatnot. Of loving course it turned out 3 months later he had a laptop full of child porn and was basically rock hard every time he was on the changing room. Weirdly we laughed it off and made fun of each other along the lines of who'd been closest to his raging hard on or who he was most attracted to.
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Jun 17, 2017 09:13
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Theophany posted:Not sure why phantom goon is anon? I'm with loquacius in assuming it is just a test short story fishing for reactions and to see if it passes for reality. The anon part is just in case people don't buy it so they won't get made fun of. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 14:29 on Jun 17, 2017 |
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Jun 17, 2017 09:17
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If that's the case I gotta say that's one lame story. I could see therapygoon as a musical tho
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Jun 17, 2017 13:43
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Police Automaton posted:If that's the case I gotta say that's one lame story. More of a heartwarming dark comedy love story, written and directed by Woody Allen. Tom Cruise as "Therapygoon" in The.Rapist.
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Jun 17, 2017 13:51
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How many feet are in a mile?
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Jun 17, 2017 14:23
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5280 feet
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Jun 17, 2017 14:25
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I'm thirding, fourthing or whatever to boning therapist goon. Even if she says she can't have kids, wrap up, or at least pull out. Or get yourself cut. Seriously. I work with a guy who's girlfriend is kinda angry, and he was only staying with her because he said her box was tight as gently caress. She couldn't have kids either.......... Except that one time when she could.
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Jun 17, 2017 15:53
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I used to have an ex-girlfriend that would scream she was pregnant anytime she thought we were going to break up. This is the same one that would cry and throw dishes at me for coming back to my own apartment late when she wasn't supposed to be there to begin with, and tried to stab me in my sleep because she had a dream that I cheated on her. I guess my point is you have to break up with the violent ones because it can escalate incredibly fast and for no reason what so ever. Also, don't knock up your crazy therapist girlfriend. I can't stress that enough.
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Jun 17, 2017 16:11
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Dude no offence, but the hosed up poo poo in your life could fill a book. Have you ever considered writing all that down?
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Jun 17, 2017 16:48
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Clark Gable got stabbed in the back (literally) by his wife but still loved her.
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Jun 17, 2017 16:52
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I didn't really have that many girlfriends before getting married, but I did manage to have one that tried to convince me she was pregnant even though she hadn't let me have sex with her since before her last period. There wasn't any manipulative intent in it, though, she just had a super-erratic menstrual cycle and was really neurotic about it and everything else.quote:I just discovered my cousin still believes Santa Claus is real and that my aunt and uncle continue this story to make him behave. My cousin is 24 years old. Quick but relevant question: is your cousin mentally challenged in any way, because that's the only reason I could see someone being threatened into "behaving" with the judgment of a magical elf once they're past 10 years old or so Anyway, here's more Trump fanfic quote:This weekend, Melania and Barron Trump moved to DC to join Donald in the White House. It was a big deal and made the news for obvious reasons. What didn't make the news was me moving to Washington DC, which you'll understand in a moment. I am Melania's live-in sexworker/butler. Although the live-in part is about to change. Here's a third one since one of these was short and the other one I found highly dubious quote:This is literally going to be the lamest 'celebrity encounter confession' in this thread, partly because it is actually true but also- well just read it. The only reason I'm sending it in is because of all the stupid fake ones. NOTE: I don't know who David Pogue is or what he looks like I've met famous people but have no cute stories about them, unless you think "I met the guy who plays Stamper on House Of Cards and didn't talk to him because I couldn't remember his real name," "I got a Demetri Martin book signed for my wife and couldn't think of what to tell him to write so I just kinda stammered out 'I dunno, you're the one who just wrote a book' and he seemed pissed off at me," or "I met Elizabeth Warren unexpectedly at work and got to shake her hand but just kind of introduced myself and couldn't think of anything else to say" are noteworthy stories to hear Apparently on a trip to California when I was 9 or so I gave sportscaster Jerry Glanville unsolicited advice regarding what he should order at a restaurant because I had no idea who he was then (or now really) and my dad was mortified, but I don't really remember it clearly.
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Jun 17, 2017 17:59
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I met Mario Lemieux as a kid and he signed my jersey and the hockey puck that came with that sega genesis hockey game that came with a puck with his fake signature and said some "nice to meet you" bullshit. I think most real celebrity encounters go like that, not like "he totally talked to me for 45 minutes and then gave me a wedgie and said NOBODY would believe me lol".
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Jun 17, 2017 18:33
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Hopper posted:Dude no offence, but the hosed up poo poo in your life could fill a book. Have you ever considered writing all that down? I have, but I'm not a writer. I also don't think it would be interesting to hear about a group of gently caress ups loving things up. Made me a cool as poo poo person though!
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Jun 17, 2017 18:36
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My mom was in line with Carl Sagan once in an airport, but she left him the hell alone out of basic politeness. That's my celebrity story, ama.
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Jun 17, 2017 19:01
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Solice Kirsk posted:I used to have an ex-girlfriend that would scream she was pregnant anytime she thought we were going to break up. This is the same one that would cry and throw dishes at me for coming back to my own apartment late when she wasn't supposed to be there to begin with, and tried to stab me in my sleep because she had a dream that I cheated on her. finally, a time its acceptable to break up by text message
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Jun 17, 2017 19:05
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Fintilgin posted:My mom was in line with Carl Sagan once in an airport, but she left him the hell alone out of basic politeness. If I met Carl Sagan I would start talking to him about werewolves
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Jun 17, 2017 19:15
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syscall girl posted:If I met Carl Sagan I would start talking to him about werewolves I feel retroactively bad for Sagan because I bet almost every fan encounter he had was "heyyy...weeeeed lol talk to me about space but in the weed way".
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Jun 17, 2017 19:17
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I feel retroactively bad for Sagan because I bet almost every fan encounter he had was "heyyy...weeeeed lol talk to me about space but in the weed way". I thought that revelation was by his wife, posthumously. But he wrote in The Demon-Haunted World that cabbies and stuff would always ask him about aliens and UFOs
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Jun 17, 2017 19:50
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One time I was at a red light in my piece of poo poo van getting down to Ice, Ice, Baby, and Vanilla Ice pulled up next to me and stared at me looking all pissed off. I also made him dinner several times at the bbq joint I worked at. Those are my celebrity stories. Thanks for listening.
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Jun 17, 2017 20:23
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Apparently I met Mr Rogers in an airport once when I was 5 years old. Weirdly I can't remember this at all despite being a big fan at the time, but my parents insist it happened and they wouldn't make that poo poo up
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Jun 17, 2017 21:53
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Tax Inductions posted:Apparently I met Mr Rogers in an airport once when I was 5 years old. Weirdly I can't remember this at all despite being a big fan at the time, but my parents insist it happened and they wouldn't make that poo poo up That's awesome. I loved Mr. Rogers when I was a kid. I sometimes watch that youtube video of him winning over congress to get funding for public access tv on rough days to make myself feel better. Dude was awesome.
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Jun 18, 2017 00:38
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I still love Mr Rogers
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Jun 18, 2017 00:48
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Mr. Rogers and Randy Savage would be the two people I'd be most devastated to find out were actually lovely people
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Jun 18, 2017 00:50
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Danaru posted:Mr. Rogers and Randy Savage would be the two people I'd be most devastated to find out were actually lovely people i was surprised no dirt came out after he died, no one is that nice. no one damnit!
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Jun 18, 2017 00:57
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I met Randy Savage at a Jewel in the mid 90's in the Chicago suburbs. I don't know what he was doing there since i had stopped watching wrestling by then, but my one friend ran up to shake his hand and he gave him a big pat on the back and was genuinely nice and appreciative of being told he was his favorite wrestler. So as far as I'm concerned he seemed like a really nice guy. edit: We also used to listen to Randy Savage's rap album a lot. Perfect Friend was always a show stopper at parties. Solice Kirsk fucked around with this message at 01:01 on Jun 18, 2017 |
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Jun 18, 2017 00:58
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I spoke with 2 members of Sonic Youth in the VIP area after their concert. Asked them when they gonna play Little trouble girl live. They said never (it's a duet with Kim Deal). I said "But I insist!" and was proud of my joke but they were like nah. Eddie Vedder's brother took a picture of me and them and promised to send it to me but never did. Same year with New York Dolls guitarist at a party. He was with his girlfriend or wife and they were much older than the rest of us and were really nice and kind. Told us how NY used to be hosed up and how the woman had seen her friend killed in front of her eyes near CBGB. Also some 15 years ago I hitchhiked to a movie festival and a van picked me up that had cast/crew of Billy Elliot, which was a major hit then. I didn't recognize them. The kid (Jamie Bell) was in the back seat and was singing "It's raining men" with two women. I sat next to some guy and made small talk with him. He said he was the producer but I thought they were just some random indie film crew. OK not A list celebs but that's why I put three stories.
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Jun 18, 2017 01:16
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I sat near Lyoto Machida on a plane once before he won the belt.
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Jun 18, 2017 01:29
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When I was in the hospital I met John Voight. He gave me a few signed stills from a movie he was in and was genuinely a nice guy. He would spend all day at the hospital, going into every room that he could. He even went to the hotel where they housed a lot of the outpatients and started knocking on doors asking to hear peoples stories and how they were doing. He ended up giving my mom and I his personal cell phone number. This was all 10 years ago. About a year ago she was looking through some old poo poo and found his cell number, figured gently caress it, why not call it. He picked up and remembered us. She gave me his number and I called him once. We had a long conversation about how I was doing, what he was up to, that kind of poo poo. Then we got on politics and had an argument about whether the coal industry is salvageable and whether global warming was real. He really did not like Obama. He was also sad he couldn't see his grandchildren. That man is a genuinely good and caring and I will defend him vehemently if someone talks bad about him. Met John Cougar Meloncamp. He shook my hand, said he was thankful for my service, and I told him I didn't like his music. He just laughed while telling me its not for everyone. His wife went around the hotel and knocked on doors to thank soldiers too. She was ABSURDLY hot. I think she was a lingerie model. Didn't meet Mick Foley when he was at a BBQ that General Peter Pace threw. I was still too hosed up to notice or really talk to anyone. Got a few coins from the Secretary of Energy and another Secretary though I'm not sure who. I loved that Mick was there in his usual cut-off flannel jacket, white shirt, and some jeans. Was too hosed up to realize John Stewart and Stephen Colbert were trying to talk to me in the hospital. I just remember John Stewart being really short. Told Justin Timberlake to gently caress off when he wouldn't stop coming by to try and see me in my hospital room. It was after a major surgery, something like 12 hours, and I had tubes in me and felt like poo poo. Just wanted to be left alone to watch the Bears lose the Super Bowl. I still feel like I owe him an apology, even to this day. I think that's it for celebrities I've met.
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Jun 18, 2017 01:56
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Solice Kirsk posted:I sometimes watch that youtube video of him winning over congress to get funding for public access tv on rough days to make myself feel better. 
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Jun 18, 2017 02:09
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quote:It's gross but I really, really, really enjoy the smell of my own vagina and vulva. I clean and definitely try to keep the scent down so others can't really catch a whiff but when I go to the bathroom or do my laundry, sometimes I'll sniff my own dirty underwear. I have no desire to smell other womens underwear or crotches, I'm just all about my own smells. I alson like to taste my vag secretions every so often - it's not a bad way to tell how everythings functioning. Pheromones??? (I have taken a total of one year of life sciences in high school and also am drunk) quote:I've just killed a guy. do people still claim bridges like this or was this man a literal Shrek troll
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Jun 18, 2017 03:04
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