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I asked daddy what he thought about Shanley and he made me run laps and do pushups. Now I'm not allowed to be online
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:24 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:27 |
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Me [28/F] with my [27/M] BF of 5 yrs - he is obsessed with podcasts and can't hold down a job, but thinks I am shallow and bourgeoise. I don't know what to do. u/anotherthr0waway2222 My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 years. We get along very well and he is very kind, caring, sweet, our sex life is great, we rarely ever have serious fights, etc. When we met, we were both underemployed creative types with somewhat useless art-school degrees; since then some combination of luck and hard work on my behalf has meant that I started to have a decent career (marketing for a tech company) and now make a fairly decent salary (~$65k.) I am a photographer on the side which is what I (stupidly) went to school for, but I don’t mind my work, and I think I am lucky to have a good work/life balance. I don’t know if I will ever make good money on my creative pursuits but I am happy I still get to do that on the side and I generally like my day job well enough. My boyfriend, however, temps at the same agency he worked at when he graduated 5 years ago, but very rarely gets more than a few days here or there. He works on some creative projects (writing & painting), but never seems to finish anything and does not make any money off it. He also recently got taken off his parents’ health insurance, so he has none, which worries me as much of his family is diabetic and he has had some health issues in the past. His parents are pretty wealthy and will help him out in a pinch with things like rent and health expenses. (I do not have this luxury, my parents are poor. His family isn’t, like, crazy loaded but they have a nice house and go on loads of vacations and his parents drive BMWs and give him any money he asks for, etc.) For a while this didn’t really bother me—again, we were both recent art school grads when we started dating, being broke is kind of par for the course—but since we’ve moved in together ~2yrs ago, it has started to bother me. We were happy when we were both young and broke, but I am getting to a point where I would like to do things like “go on a vacation” or “buy kitchen chairs instead of sitting on apple crates,” and it would make me feel great if he was able to contribute to things like this as well. I feel very bad because he doesn’t seem to care about these things and says I am being very bourgeoise. I also would like to (eventually) have a family, and it’s starting to worry me a little bit that if I were to ever get pregnant, I would have to be both mom and sole breadwinner. Even though he is at home most days, he doesn’t really help much around the house and doesn’t know how to cook, so I admit I am skeptical of what he would contribute. He also often says that he wants to get married, but that it’s understandably hard to deal with things like planning a wedding/getting a ring when he doesn’t have an income and that he just wants to wait until things improve before he starts thinking about those kinds of details. I guess this makes sense, but I’m not the sort to be impressed by fancy jewelry or a big ceremony—honestly, thrift store rings and a little party with friends would make me happy—but it seems to worry him, so I now avoid the topic. These conversations have been exacerbated in recent months due to politics. He and I are both left-leaning people, but he recently has become very obsessed with a series of popular far-left podcasts, and while I don’t disagree with much of their politics I find them very abrasive, and I find him constantly parroting them back at me. It feels like every conversation now begins with “Well today on CTH so-and-so said,” and every serious conversation about money or healthcare or rent or work ends in “The spineless Democrats couldn’t commit to actual socialist change and Obamacare didn’t do enough to make healthcare accessible, I can’t possibly get health insurance” or “Neoliberalism has just totally hosed the job market, what do you want from me? Until the state actually makes an investment in the people, it’s basically impossible,” or whatever. These don’t devolve into crazy screaming matches or anything, but it just is starting to bum me out that any conversation I try to have that involves any sort of financial/family/health planning just always gets shut down with a snide remark about how the system is hosed and there’s nothing he can do. I also find it annoying that he had little-to-no interest in politics before this and was not at all politically active; he’s honestly not even registered to vote. Regardless of your political leaning left or right, I find it a little upsetting to be lectured by anyone who refuses to participate in the system because “it’s so broken.” (I am not an especially outspoken person but I do vote in local and national elections, volunteer in my community, and regularly give money to causes and charities I care about.) I feel lovely because he thinks I’m being very bourgeoise and making too much of a big deal over money, which is the last thing I want to do. But it’s starting to make me feel crazy. I also sometimes get the feeling that he RESENTS me for “selling out” or something like that—that I’m “part of the problem” because I have a corporate day job. On top of that, I think I sometimes feel resentful since as a white dude who comes from a lot of money, I feel that life has given him more opportunities than me (child of Filipino immigrants & female) and it frustrates me—I know that’s not always just how the system works, but it really does feel that I have had to work much harder for many things. I am starting to feel that he is just repeating these political things as a way to avoid the sorts of dull and banal adult conversations one has to have about things like money and the future and commitment, but I know he thinks that I am just not politically informed enough and that I “follow the rules” too much. But I also worry that maybe I AM just being shallow and placing unreasonable expectations upon him. I feel really guilty, but I also don’t think it’s TOTALLY unreasonable for me to have some concerns here. What should I do? Am I not being understanding enough of his situation? TL;DR: It is starting to bother me that after 5 years, my boyfriend hasn’t really gotten a real job or insurance and turns any conversation about these things into politics. I feel badly because he thinks I am just being very bourgeoise, but this also is starting to feel like an excuse to me, and that he’s just parroting back some of the things he reads/listens to. I am not really sure how to broach this, and I’m also worried that maybe I AM being crazy and shallow. Am I in the wrong here? What should I do?
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:25 |
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Trabisnikof posted:Me [28/F] with my [27/M] BF of 5 yrs - he is obsessed with podcasts and can't hold down a job, but thinks I am shallow and bourgeoise. I don't know what to do. lmao
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:27 |
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That dude rules
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:28 |
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The Unnamed One posted:That dude rules Actually, he's kind of a loser for calling it 'CTH' when Chapo rolls off the tongue so much easier.
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:29 |
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lmao what a slob
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:33 |
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my brainwashed bourgeoise wife is forcing me to shower
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:33 |
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She controls the means of reproduction
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:37 |
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the alpha grey wolf
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:52 |
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give your money to deadbeat boyfriends
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:54 |
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a true fan would embrace the volcel lifestyle lol
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 22:59 |
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he needs a patreon to complete his brand
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 23:00 |
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Trabisnikof posted:Me [28/F] with my [27/M] BF of 5 yrs - he is obsessed with podcasts and can't hold down a job, but thinks I am shallow and bourgeoise. I don't know what to do. the psyop is coming from inside the house!!!!
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 23:14 |
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drat I talked about CTH (?) with my gf in confidence, do I sever
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 23:32 |
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That girl is so drat insecure.
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 23:39 |
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Boyfriends a dick cuz we all got to live under capitalism and it doesn't sound like he does any organizing or anything, but the girl also seems to be p. Liberal, so like... I find it hard to care about their somewhat dysfunctional relationship. They probably deserve each other.
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 23:41 |
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The guy is clearly the poo poo party in this scenario, jesus.
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# ? Jun 19, 2017 23:58 |
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every time I kinda grumble to friends about straight people flooding what used to be LGBT dominated kink venues and all I always stop and remember I sound like this and maybe should wait for an actual hill to die on.
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:08 |
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is it violence if everytime I see her name the phrase "Flat Shanley" pops into my head?
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:09 |
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sexpig by night posted:every time I kinda grumble to friends about straight people flooding what used to be LGBT dominated kink venues and all I always stop and remember I sound like this and maybe should wait for an actual hill to die on. It's also good to remember that a lot of them might be the B in LGBT that kind of always gets swept under the rug
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:15 |
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GalacticAcid posted:The guy is clearly the poo poo party in this scenario, jesus. This. Also, the one where that lady found out her boyfriend or husband or whatever was spending his entire paycheck on podcast patreons was way funnier.
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:15 |
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Hulk Krogan posted:This. Also, the one where that lady found out her boyfriend or husband or whatever was spending his entire paycheck on podcast patreons was way funnier. Yeah, easily one of the funniest stories of the year
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:23 |
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*jay z but he's bi voice* ladies is daddies too, go and brush your shoulders off
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:30 |
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GalacticAcid posted:The guy is clearly the poo poo party in this scenario, jesus. umm, She Might Be a Liberal though...
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:36 |
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nobody's perfect but that's no reason to force some Both Sides discourse into the equation
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:43 |
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Wish I could give my gf an orgasm so she would let me stay home and promote the leftist policies to my dogs and birds visiting my window bird feeder.
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 00:49 |
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GalacticAcid posted:Yeah, easily one of the funniest stories of the year No way please link it
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 01:01 |
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Serf posted:a true fan would embrace the volcel lifestyle lol you can be volcel and in a long term relationship. just ask my wife and her boyfriend
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 01:13 |
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a cyberpunk goose posted:No way please link it https://twitter.com/JucheMane/status/845327657801846784
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 01:16 |
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Yup, still hilarious.
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 01:25 |
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I love my dead gay socialist boyfriend - sad ladies on twitter
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 01:31 |
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On one hand, hearing your boyfriend use ideology cribbed from talk radio to justify his life failures is a living hell. On the other, Chapo is all that keeps these loser slob boyfriends from devolving into alt-right frogmen.
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 01:44 |
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Chapo is an entertaining show with some informative interviews and intelligent guests but if it's your primary source of political thought
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 02:29 |
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GalacticAcid posted:Chapo is an entertaining show with some informative interviews and intelligent guests but if it's your primary source of political thought i'm sure the aforementioned failson (who might post here bc the gf knows what sa is) missed the multiple times the chapo folks mention that listening to a podcast isn't loving activism, they are just providing entertainment while showing people how they think through this insane world
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 02:58 |
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"Safety absolutists" These absolute motherfuckers
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 03:10 |
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steakmancer posted:drat I talked about CTH (?) with my gf in confidence, do I sever its too late dog
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 03:14 |
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https://twitter.com/JStein_Vox/status/876932280358404096 The Panera Bread is the sea, and we are the fish.
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 03:16 |
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https://twitter.com/ShitAccountTour/status/876957813205086209
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 04:21 |
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Uranium posted:https://twitter.com/JStein_Vox/status/876932280358404096 For those not keeping track, he's since been ejected from the Panera bread for disturbing customers, approached people at a Burger King, and then moved on to a Waffle House.
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 04:31 |
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# ? Jun 6, 2024 15:27 |
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The Narrator posted:For those not keeping track, he's since been ejected from the Panera bread for disturbing customers, approached people at a Burger King, and then moved on to a Waffle House. motherfucker be hungry
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# ? Jun 20, 2017 04:39 |