Anonymous Confessions: I had an extremely weird dream that's going to become relevant

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Leave: Feb 7, 2012; Taking the term "Koopaling" to a whole new level since 2016.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

I'm glad I didn't automatically skip over the alien one.

Me too.

I love this thread.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 12:23

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 13:36

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

the alien one sucked and wasn't funny though?

# ? Jun 21, 2017 12:48

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Did Trump play football?

Edit: vvv ah, missed that.

Rupert Buttermilk fucked around with this message at 12:54 on Jun 21, 2017

# ? Jun 21, 2017 12:51

Rumda: Nov 4, 2009; Moth Lesbian Comrade

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Did Trump play football?

it's a reference to a previous fesh

# ? Jun 21, 2017 12:52

Wintermutant: Oct 2, 2009; Dinosaur Gum

Police Automaton posted:

It's me, I'm the evil human

Username checks out

# ? Jun 21, 2017 15:18

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Not posting: someone whining that their fesh didn't get posted

Without more information all I can say is that most feshes I skip I make mention of in the thread, like I'm doing right now, so there's a chance it got spam-filtered. I was able to rescue a whole bunch of content from the spam filter once, but there's no telling how many other ones got eaten before I noticed.

quote:

My next door neighbors' lives are falling apart and, I must confess, I am enjoying watching it happen.

I live in an upper middle class neighborhood with my wife and son. We pretty much keep to ourselves except for the occasional hello or smalltalk as we walk around the neighborhood.

My next door neighbors have been annoying for a while, but not evil or anything. They'll mostly just flaunt their money, or give advice that's really just thinly veiled criticism, or they'll post annoying poo poo on facebook. As an example, one time they posted a picture of them at a local country club swimming in the pool with the caption "We worked hard in the yard all day, time for fun". They pay a kid to cut the grass, I saw that kid cutting the grass that day while I was doing my own thing.

I know this is minor, but this happens about once a week - they act like their lives are hard or they're big humanitarians, but it's all bullshit and really annoying.

So that brings us up to the last few weeks. She announced she was pregnant back in February, and I'm getting the feeling he wasn't happy about it. He's been working longer hours at work, she's been telling my wife this constantly when we take our evening walk together. They were also talking about a big vacation they were going to take in May since it'd be their last trip for a bit. The trip was cancelled and the husband attended a work conference instead.

Here's the other thing, they're both super hardcore Republicans and Trump supporters. They're both involved in local politics - nothing major but they are seen as the face of the Republican party for a lot of people. Which is not a good look right now, for good reason. They're still having Republican events like dinners and fundraisers, but they're mostly getting pissed off people showing up. Which I agree with 100%, but I do feel a little bad seeing them get totally dunked on by everyone.

So I think they're heading towards divorce, or he's gonna cheat on her if he isn't already, or something. I dunno. It's funny in a way and I honestly look forward to the next dramatic event. But then I feel bad about it, because they are human.

Your next-door neighbors are actually exactly what I think of when I think "Republican"

Rich people with a big house who condescend to others and whine a lot and secretly hate each other

quote:

In a few weeks, I will have been married to my wife for three years, and we had been dating for about seven years before that. I will be turning 30 in July, so I've basically spent a third of my life with this one person. I spent a long time last year very seriously considering divorce after recognizing patterns of abuse that she was exhibiting towards me. I was only really able to see these things once I had finally gotten my depression managed and under control.

We dated in college, but were actually good friends before that - I've known her since I was 12 years old. A few months after we started dating, she spent a semester abroad and I decided I would wait for her. A year later, she did the same thing, which was a bummer, but we were committed at that point. It wasn't until we had moved in together after college that I really started to get a handle on her anger issues. She would call me names, tell me I was "acting like a little bitch", and so on. Honestly, I think it was much worse than that, but I've probably blocked parts out due to the gaslighting I realized was happening years later.

We spent two years living together in an apartment, during which time we got married and I started grad school. After the first year, she started grad school as well, and we elected to live separately (our schools were in two different cities, about 2 hours apart) for the year. I ended up living alone in a little house with our two cats, and I think the isolation brought some of my own personal issues up to the surface. In the years before grad school (and before moving in with her), I was working poo poo jobs and self-medicating heavily with whiskey. I ended up realizing I had been suffering for a long time from undiagnosed depression. I started taking Prozac (which I'm convinced saved my life) and working with a therapist on CBT strategies for handling my depression when it would pop up.

Pretty soon after that, I had gotten my master's degree and took a job on the east coast; we were in the midwest at the time. My wife came with me, and while it was difficult to work out she managed to complete her degree. I had never been so self-actualized at this point - my depression was completely under control, I loved my job, and I was making enough money to support the both of us while my wife finished her classes. Her behavior at this point started to become really awful; or perhaps this was just the first time I was finally able to see what was happening. She had a horrible temper, and when she was frustrated or upset she would always project it onto me. We had no friends in the city, so the social isolation only made things worse. While I drink a little more than the average dude, she was convinced I was a full-blown alcoholic and, on numerous occasions, wouldn't let the issue rest until I would personally say out loud that I had alcohol issues.

On a similar note, she had become convinced that I had Aspberger's syndrome. I�m a little goonier than some folks but nobody has ever insinuated anything like that to me. She would point out minor behavioral differences, or conflate perfectly normal behavior with symptoms of ASD. �You sometimes lose track of time when engaged in a hobby? That�s perseveration, you have Aspberger�s.� She�s studying for work in a mental health profession so this stuff comes up constantly. One day she just started reading from a textbook on the subject while sitting next to me. After she was done, she asked me if I thought it was interesting, and if there were any coping strategies I�d like to try. I�ve recently told her in no uncertain terms that I will never tolerate this from her ever again - but it went on for a long time.

I still care for her a great deal. Despite all the rest of the bullshit (and there�s a lot of it) I want her to do well and be good to her. I�ve justified this to myself with the idea that while I always love her, I definitely do not always *like* her. It�s still hard to �come up for air� sometimes and realize that this behavior isn�t normal. My therapist first gave me that idea, and I confided in a close friend and they were also sympathetic. I know I�m subconsciously sacrificing happiness for stability, and it really hurts to realize that sometimes. I cope with it by drinking (although not nearly as much as I used to). I very strongly considered divorce for a long, long time. It still comes to my mind every now and then. Anyways, thanks for reading. It feels at least a little better to get this off my chest.

Oh, she�s also really, really bad at sex things. So that sucks.

I'm glad you're coping well and are feeling better than you once were

Therapy seems to have worked pretty well for you, but if your wife isn't getting it herself she probably should be. If she's studying in a mental health field and has your example to look to it shouldn't be hard to convince her to work on her anger issues.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 15:30

Sjs00: Jun 29, 2013; Yeah Baby Yeah !

bash her with her own textbook lol

# ? Jun 21, 2017 15:36

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Get a divorce. You're wasting valuable time on a lovely marriage that could be used to heal and move on to a better relationship down the road.

Crazy in head but not in bed? :sever:

# ? Jun 21, 2017 15:52

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

First of all, it's fantastic that you identified that you had an issue and sought help for it. Major kudos for that. And for easing up on the drinking.

But yeah, just flat out tell her that the situation is unsustainable and that she should seek professional help or things aren't gonna work. If not for your relationship's sake, then for her own mental health. She's gonna go ballistic and push back, but an undeniable truth is that your life partner is supposed to have your back and support you, not tear you down at every opportunity for no goddamn reason. You both have master's degrees, so you're not undetermined or ignorant people, so there's no excuse for her to behave like that or for you to just shrug and accept it.

As for the sex thing, try telling her what you like, and ask her what she likes when you're getting frisky. Just opening the door to communication about bedroom stuff can make all the difference. You may find out that the thing that gets your motor running revs her engine, too.

Also she sounds insufferable as a person in general but you must see something in her so best of luck I guess

# ? Jun 21, 2017 16:54

kalel: Jun 19, 2012

Well, this confession is obviously fake, because Asberger's was removed from the DSM in 2013 and is now considered to be a part of the autism spectrum. Do your research next time, ya loving English major![/sarcasm]

But seriously, divorce your wife and stop drinking

# ? Jun 21, 2017 19:26

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

SciFiDownBeat posted:

Well, this confession is obviously fake, because Asberger's was removed from the DSM in 2013 and is now considered to be a part of the autism spectrum. Do your research next time, ya loving English major![/sarcasm]

But seriously, divorce your wife and stop drinking

Drinking is good. Weed is better. Maybe cut back or switch to weed.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:36

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

RFC2324 posted:

Drinking is good. Weed is better. Maybe cut back or switch to weed.

Did you catch Rodney Dangerfield late (extremely late) in his life becoming a stoner because his liver had in fact turned to stone?

He seemed pretty okay with everything.

Weed isn't magic but it will also not give you cirrhosis

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:40

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

Non-anonymous confession: weed is awesome and infinitely better than alcohol.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 20:46

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

loquacius posted:

I challenge anyone ITT to name me a football player who doesn't have feet

Tom Dempsey. :colbert:

# ? Jun 21, 2017 21:26

froward: Jun 2, 2014; by Azathoth

Nocheez posted:

Non-anonymous confession: weed is awesome and infinitely better than alcohol.

weed owns, this thread owns, this post owns, everything owns. lets all suck each others dicks~

# ? Jun 21, 2017 21:31

Neutrino: Mar 8, 2006; Fallen Rib

quote:

Oh, she�s also really, really bad at sex things. So that sucks.

That is exactly what someone who is acting like a little bitch would say.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 21:32

Anton Chigurh: Mar 18, 2008; Can't post for 9 years!

loquacius posted:

Your next-door neighbors are actually exactly what I think of when I think "Republican"

Rich people with a big house who condescend to others and whine a lot and secretly hate each other

My parents vote Republican and do have a big house, but they're also very kind and generous, and work in the therapy field helping others when they could just retire (they're both in their 70's). They are the best example I know of how to be in a caring relationship.

So, screw you and your stereotypes, loquacius.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 21:45

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Solice Kirsk posted:

Tom Dempsey.

counterpoint: this man clearly has one and a half feet :colbert:

but, I'll allow it because he owns

Anton Chigurh posted:

My parents vote Republican and do have a big house, but they're also very kind and generous, and work in the therapy field helping others when they could just retire (they're both in their 70's). They are the best example I know of how to be in a caring relationship.

So, screw you and your stereotypes, loquacius.

Question, do they still vote Republican to this day? My dad was my best example of how to be a Good Republican for a very long time (doesn't like high taxes but is very passionate about charity and charity work; respectfully disagrees with my mom on politics and doesn't let it affect their relationship) but he hasn't voted for a Republican for President since the Tea Party became a thing and has said he can't really imagine doing so again unless the party changes its priorities, a lot

(did not vote for HRC though)

# ? Jun 21, 2017 21:49

Streak: May 16, 2004; by Nyc_Tattoo

Anton Chigurh posted:

My parents vote Republican and do have a big house, but they're also very kind and generous, and work in the therapy field helping others when they could just retire (they're both in their 70's). They are the best example I know of how to be in a caring relationship.

So, screw you and your stereotypes, loquacius.

so even somewhat good people can be extremely retarded, got it

# ? Jun 21, 2017 21:58

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

Both parties are basically cartoon versions of themselves compared to what they were even just 20 years ago.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 22:02

Gynovore: Jun 17, 2009; Forget your RoboCoX or your StickyCoX or your EvilCoX, MY CoX has Blinking Bewbs!

WHY IS THIS GAME DEAD?!

loquacius posted:

Question, do they still vote Republican to this day? My dad was my best example of how to be a Good Republican for a very long time (doesn't like high taxes but is very passionate about charity and charity work; respectfully disagrees with my mom on politics and doesn't let it affect their relationship) but he hasn't voted for a Republican for President since the Tea Party became a thing and has said he can't really imagine doing so again unless the party changes its priorities, a lot

Tea Party != Republican.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 22:03

syscall girl: Nov 7, 2009; by FactsAreUseless; Fun Shoe

Solice Kirsk posted:

Both parties are basically cartoon versions of themselves compared to what they were even just 20 years ago.

If only we could fishmech together a diagram or chart of some kind that shewed as America* ages the center slides so far to the right that loving Hilter is a viable candidate now.

So that's cool.

*baby boomer asshats

# ? Jun 21, 2017 22:06

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

the parties are like gg. Either side you are on you are loving stupid and being played like a bitch.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 22:06

Police Automaton: Mar 17, 2009; "You are standing in a thread. Someone has made an insightful post."
LOOK AT insightful post
"It's a pretty good post."
HATE post
"I don't understand"
SHIT ON post
"You shit on the post. Why."

sneakyfrog posted:

Either side you are on you are loving stupid and being played like a bitch.

This but all politics since forever

# ? Jun 21, 2017 22:08

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

I mean unless you like personally have a lawmaker rentboi but you know what i mean.

# ? Jun 21, 2017 22:09

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

Gynovore posted:

Tea Party != Republican.

But the tea party had totally hijacked the party

# ? Jun 21, 2017 23:52

sugar free jazz: Mar 5, 2008

Anton Chigurh posted:

My parents vote Republican and do have a big house, but they're also very kind and generous, and work in the therapy field helping others when they could just retire (they're both in their 70's). They are the best example I know of how to be in a caring relationship.

So, screw you and your stereotypes, loquacius.

I got some bad news about your parents, friend

# ? Jun 22, 2017 00:52

Fucked-Up Little Dog: Aug 26, 2008; Posting live from the nightmare future of Web 3.0; Scratchmo

Anton Chigurh posted:

My parents vote Republican and do have a big house, but they're also very kind and generous, and work in the therapy field helping others when they could just retire (they're both in their 70's). They are the best example I know of how to be in a caring relationship.

So, screw you and your stereotypes, loquacius.

Lol

# ? Jun 22, 2017 00:58

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Gynovore posted:

Tea Party != Republican.

So like, were you paying attention last year or

quote:

My work compels me to travel occasionally and it brought me earlier this year to the fair city of Jackson in Mississippi. I despise Mississippi, it's rank and muggy, but I was making the best of it and decided to grab a cheeseburger at a Wendy's. It was alright, identical to any other Wendy's burger I'd ever had, but that's the wonderful thing about fast food it's always the same. Naturally it ran its course through me quick and I'd ended up having to poo poo before I left.

The bathroom was cleaner then I expected for Mississippi and I was enjoying a nice relaxing movement when the bathroom door flew open and I heard an extremely large man enter. You could just tell by his shuffling obese gait and the labored breathing. I knew this guy was super-sized without even seeing him. He waddled with quickness to the unoccupied stall beside me. As I exited my stall I heard him fumbling with a belt and mumbling swears in an accent that didn't seem southern but it was so hushed I couldn't quite make it out. It was as I started to wash my hands that it started. A cacophony like I'd never heard before as if a million asses were tearing apart all at once. I heard him moan pleasurably as it happened and it went on and on as I found myself stuck, slack-jawed, frozen in horror as the crime against porcelain and human dignity unfolded aurally around me. It may have been seconds or even minutes later but finally it stopped and I came back to myself, I pulled my hands out from the water and left without drying them. As I left the smell was starting to infest that place but thankfully I only got a slight whiff of it but even that was like frozen meat that had been thawed in a microwave.

When I did manage to get outside I breathed deep. Thankful for once to be outside in Mississippi. I leaned against the wall and fished a cigarette from my pocket for a smoke. Right as I finished it he emerged. He was huge as I imagined, he was sweating profusely, and was dressed in a vast t-shirt with black slacks of cavernous proportions. I'll never forget that he was smiling as if he was proud of what he had done. He looked at me and said simply "The missuus will never believe what I've done here!" in a British accent before walking off to whatever life such a person leads.

I got home later that week and decided to catch up on the forums. I decided to read the steam thread and see if anything interesting had happened in the world of gaming since I'd been away from my computer. Someone linked a video of some youtube person and there he was. The fat man. It was Jim Sterling.

From what I can tell Jim Sterling is some manner of video-game blog person

quote:

I don't understand all the fawning over Gal Gadot. She is the least attractive, most boring as gently caress piece of driftwood I've ever seen in my goddamn life. Everybody loving drools over this no-rear end-havin' wannabe Natalie Portman look-alike with even smaller titties. I swear if you find this woman attractive you must jack off to a jar of mayo every night before bed because goddamn the woman has no curves.

I have not seen Wonder Woman and so at this point I have no particular opinion on Gal Gadot

# ? Jun 22, 2017 03:36

Dodoman: Feb 26, 2009; A moment of laxity
A lifetime of regret; Lipstick Apathy

Gal Gadot and Natalie Portman are extremely attractive ladies anon goon.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 04:02

tesilential: Nov 22, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

I googled Gal Gadot.

Seek therapy.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 04:52

Fartbox: Apr 27, 2017; What's happening? Dri fu an only two? what is this?
Is this an avatar? I don't know rm dunk

I like small titties

also big titties

To be honest though, I like butts more than titties

# ? Jun 22, 2017 05:57

Rupert Buttermilk: Apr 15, 2007; 🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

More like "Wonder-why-anyone-likes-this Woman", eh? :smug:

No, for real, she's incredible. You're an idiot.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 07:45

titties: May 10, 2012; They're like two suicide notes stuffed into a glitter bra

Fartbox posted:

I like small titties

also big titties

To be honest though, I like butts more than titties

You son of a bitch

# ? Jun 22, 2017 08:21

Rumda: Nov 4, 2009; Moth Lesbian Comrade

quote:

I don't understand all the fawning over Gal Gadot. She is the least attractive, most boring as gently caress piece of driftwood I've ever seen in my goddamn life. Everybody loving drools over this no-rear end-havin' wannabe Natalie Portman look-alike with even smaller titties. I swear if you find this woman attractive you must jack off to a jar of mayo every night before bed because goddamn the woman has no curves.

You do know it's ok to be gay right you don't need to do this sort of performative masculinity.

# ? Jun 22, 2017 08:25

christmas boots: Oct 15, 2012; To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out; Biscuit Hider