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Artificer
Apr 8, 2010

You're going to try ponies and you're. Going. To. LOVE. ME!!
I got to play 3 mechs in my 1 go. That was great and very fun. I enjoyed getting a taste of all the flavors, even when I was getting shish kabob'd by a Bobcat.

My last dude, Angry Grandpa, went on to become a terror in a Hellstar which was great too!

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Tarezax
Sep 12, 2009

MORT cancels dance: interrupted by MORT
My turn was as a Hunchback in the Demon Hawks. I helped punch some holes in things with a heavy gauss rifle and survived way longer than was expected vs a Dire Wolf/Varangian, then went down stupidly running for cover that I didn't have enough MP to reach. 10/10 would play again

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

Dachshundofdoom posted:

Rise of the Phoenix, the one where we had to defend Carlos Marik from the Capellans' super-elite AI mechs. I was in the Rampage, spent most of the match missing and failing piloting rolls to avoid falling over.

High five, Fellow Crusader!

I recall being fairly ineffective - if memory serves I took some bait and got pulled over to the side of the map - but I got to spend a turn as a potential Heroic Sacrifice by saying "don't shoot at Carlos, I'm a way better target," which luckily turned out oky because I only had to do it for a single turn. I still maintain that it was the right move for that turn (and only that turn).

farraday
Jan 10, 2007

Lower those eyebrows, young man. And the other one.

Pooncha posted:

I got headcapped in four rounds and made an emoticon. And then Bloody Pom bought the emoticon. :kimchi:

Then I got to play Star Colonel LYRAN `MECH REPORTER Bethany "Witness" Cochraine.

All in all, it was a great time, and may that Thunderbolt always be haunted with Daryl's ghost.

:squawk:

I've enjoyed this thread a ton but Star Colonel LYRAN `MECH REPORTER Bethany "Witness" Cochraine was an all time fave.

Raised by Hamsters
Sep 16, 2007

and hopped up on bagels
I got to drive an anvil, that, dispite my completely incompetent piloting, simply wouldn't die. Ate fire basically the whole match. And then at the end I turned PTN down on his suggestion to charge the last enemy, because I thought I was actually a poor target that round. I was of course killed immediately. This was my intro to battletech and it was fantastic.

hooman
Oct 11, 2007

This guy seems legit.
Fun Shoe
I got to drive 3 tanks and make terrible decisions about line of sight which meant it was constantly denied by the people I was shooting at.

I also got swarmed by elementals in my sacrifice tank and exploded from friendly fire.

That was great fun, an absolute to the death tank slug(e) fest. I apologise to my fellow goons for not positioning better but I would definitely play again.

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.
I got to play a Hammer and go up against the NRWR bullshit-tech for the first time.

Man, that Bobcat had making GBS threads our pants. And I think that incarnation of Goonlance holds the record for getting the worst boning from PTN's dice.

kingcom
Jun 23, 2012

Raised by Hamsters posted:

Ate fire basically the whole match. And then at the end I turned PTN down on his suggestion to charge the last enemy, because I thought I was actually a poor target that round. I was of course killed immediately.

:battletech:

Defiance Industries
Jul 22, 2010

A five-star manufacturer


Raised by Hamsters posted:

I got to drive an anvil, that, dispite my completely incompetent piloting, simply wouldn't die. Ate fire basically the whole match. And then at the end I turned PTN down on his suggestion to charge the last enemy, because I thought I was actually a poor target that round. I was of course killed immediately. This was my intro to battletech and it was fantastic.

The Anvil is real, real, REAL good at not dying.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat

Defiance Industries posted:

The Anvil is real, real, REAL good at not dying.

It's one of the few `Mechs that's as good in Alpha Strike as it is in tabletop, too. A solid heavy all around.

Artificer
Apr 8, 2010

You're going to try ponies and you're. Going. To. LOVE. ME!!

Lemniscate Blue posted:

I got to play a Hammer and go up against the NRWR bullshit-tech for the first time.

Man, that Bobcat had making GBS threads our pants. And I think that incarnation of Goonlance holds the record for getting the worst boning from PTN's dice.

I dunno, my constant LRM Kraken misses and the loving CRAB were pretty bad.

vorebane
Feb 2, 2009

"I like Ur and Kavodel and Enki being nice to people for some reason."

Wrong Voter amongst wrong voters
The misfires taking out both LRM 15s on Volmarias' Zeus is our current peak Battletech, I think. But the sky's not the limit, given we're in space and all.

Teledahn
May 14, 2009

What is that bear doing there?


Voting is still open.

I am voting D.

We will remove the gloves from the giant metal robits and smash faces. Probably. Maybe we'll be doing the smashing and maybe we will not. It will be a good time had by all!

ALL OF THE ABOVE!

Erd
Jun 6, 2011

vorebane posted:

The misfires taking out both LRM 15s on Volmarias' Zeus is our current peak Battletech, I think. But the sky's not the limit, given we're in space and all.

Surely the enemy Quad losing both its legs in a MASC accident during the Air Raid mission can't be beat.

RA Rx
Mar 24, 2016

Something I've wanted to say for a while, not strictly on topic, but...

Amaris is innocent until proven guilty. Just because PTN has hinted at genetic madness doesn't prove they are. Maybe they take pills now or meditate at the start/middle/end of a day. So far all we've seen is good rulership and milder retaliatory war crimes (with a functional purpose beyond revenge) than what the Clans would dish out if they defeat the NRWR.
I really don't think we'll ever see Amaris go full Space Hitler.

RA Rx fucked around with this message at 17:04 on Jun 22, 2017

Paingod556
Nov 8, 2011

Not a problem, sir

Erd posted:

Surely the enemy Quad losing both its legs in a MASC accident during the Air Raid mission can't be beat.

The Shadowcat falling over, exploding twice then drowning in one turn.

Checkmate :colbert:

Artificer
Apr 8, 2010

You're going to try ponies and you're. Going. To. LOVE. ME!!

Paingod556 posted:

The Shadowcat falling over, exploding twice then drowning in one turn.

Checkmate :colbert:

I don't think he drowned so much as his brain just turned into tapioca.

Scintilla
Aug 24, 2010

I BEAT HIGHFORT
and all I got was this
jackass monkey
The pilot of the Annihilator during the Death Commandos campaign getting his brain melted due to an ammo explosion caused by an elbow-dropping Po yet still managing to pull down one and a half times his mech's weight in player units with his dying breath will always have a special place in my heart.

sheep-dodger
Feb 21, 2013

hooman posted:

I got to drive 3 tanks and make terrible decisions about line of sight which meant it was constantly denied by the people I was shooting at.

I also got swarmed by elementals in my sacrifice tank and exploded from friendly fire.

That was great fun, an absolute to the death tank slug(e) fest. I apologise to my fellow goons for not positioning better but I would definitely play again.

hi5 fellow tank buddy!

Wrt :battletech:, don't forget the OpFor mech in the Comstar defence mission that tried to jump onto the wall, slipped and triple critted their engine.

DivineCoffeeBinge
Mar 3, 2011

Spider-Man's Amazing Construction Company

sheep-dodger posted:

hi5 fellow tank buddy!

Wrt :battletech:, don't forget the OpFor mech in the Comstar defence mission that tried to jump onto the wall, slipped and triple critted their engine.

Is that better or worse than the guy who fell down the ice ravine right off the bat recently?

Remmon
Dec 9, 2011

DivineCoffeeBinge posted:

Is that better or worse than the guy who fell down the ice ravine right off the bat recently?

At least the guy who got dropped into the ravine can blame enemy action for his loss. The guy who bounced off the wall has nobody to blame but himself.

Alchenar
Apr 9, 2008

One legged Centurion hopping backwards down a hill.

Pattonesque
Jul 15, 2004
johnny jesus and the infield fly rule
Basically any future Battletech game should take its cues from how awesome PTN's scenarios in this thread have been.

mekilljoydammit
Jan 28, 2016

Me have motors that scream to 10,000rpm. Me have more cars than Pick and Pull

Pattonesque posted:

Basically any future Battletech game should take its cues from how awesome PTN's scenarios in this thread have been.

Not emptyquoting.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Good doggies <3

Crazy Joe Wilson
Jul 4, 2007

Justifiably Mad!

Defiance Industries posted:

Doesn't that suppose that the Kerensky Cluster bothered to recover non-military technologies after they did 200 years worth of Succession Wars in like ten years? The Clans have all their tech because they hosed off to a military depot world.

The Clans have superior technology for communications, water purification, and medical technology that is light years ahead of the Inner Sphere even in 3150. Stuff like cloning limbs again and the like, being able to repair shattered spinal cords. There's points in the fiction that mention the Clans improving the standard of living on planets they conquer in one way or another. I just think that should have been played up a lot more. Not to make the Clans seem all great and good, but to provide at least one window to view Clan society in a positive light from the I.S. pov.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker

Crazy Joe Wilson posted:

The Clans have superior technology for communications, water purification, and medical technology that is light years ahead of the Inner Sphere even in 3150. Stuff like cloning limbs again and the like, being able to repair shattered spinal cords. There's points in the fiction that mention the Clans improving the standard of living on planets they conquer in one way or another. I just think that should have been played up a lot more. Not to make the Clans seem all great and good, but to provide at least one window to view Clan society in a positive light from the I.S. pov.

Funny you should say that. This is the Hell's Horses modus operandi.

PoptartsNinja posted:

Since someone asked for a Successor State Analysis, but I've got nothing else to say about them, I instead present you with my notes on the Clans and their current motives:

State of the Clans (Alternate Universe, 3032)

Clan Hell's Horses
Motives: Win. Protect and educate captured populations to improve their standard of living.

Like canon, the Hell’s Horses have an affinity towards tanks and normal infantry. Quietly appalled by the living conditions they’ve found in the Inner Sphere, the Hell’s Horses have called for a wave of scientists, doctors, and laborers from their home territories to establish schools on every world under their control. Although they do seek sovereignty over territory they’ve taken, they’re actually surprisingly lenient on populations who have never known the joy of being Clan.

Basically, the current vote A is a deliberate attempt to undo this and restore the Combine territories to their prior regressive state.

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


I wonder how the Hell's Horses are staffing all those schools, given that they've now got a ton more worlds in the IS than they had holdings in the Clan homeworlds, and they presumably aren't just emptying every school. They don't have to be Clan level schools, so are they just having regular civilians teach reading and basic math or what?

DatonKallandor
Aug 21, 2009

"I can no longer sit back and allow nationalist shitposting, nationalist indoctrination, nationalist subversion, and the German nationalist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious game balance."
The clan way - by bidding.
"I bid that I can educate 4 lances of barbarian children with a single star of clan teachers!" "I bid one teacher!"

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


DatonKallandor posted:

The clan way - by bidding.
"I bid that I can educate 4 lances of barbarian children with a single star of clan teachers!" "I bid one teacher!"

So a regular public school, except the teacher is allowed to hit you?

wiegieman
Apr 22, 2010

Royalty is a continuous cutting motion


Zaodai posted:

I wonder how the Hell's Horses are staffing all those schools, given that they've now got a ton more worlds in the IS than they had holdings in the Clan homeworlds, and they presumably aren't just emptying every school. They don't have to be Clan level schools, so are they just having regular civilians teach reading and basic math or what?

Easy: give teachers the new material, install surveillance devices, watch a random sample of problem individuals as your manpower allows, discipline those found to be breaking the rules. And that's assuming that there are actual schools there in the first place, which there probably isn't on most planets. Solves itself in a generation if you're willing to put in the manpower and be big brother about it.

The feudal nature of the Inner Sphere makes it normal for a new ruling class to punch the old baron and then come in and start doing things their way. Is the caste system of the Clans really all that different from a system with landed nobility?

Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


"Give existing teachers new material" seems somewhat suspect if it is stuff that the teacher themselves would never be exposed to. It'd be like asking an 18th century schoolmarm to teach computer science. Yeah, there's books and stuff for it, but even the teacher wouldn't have any frame of reference or understanding of the material.

Strobe
Jun 30, 2014
GW BRAINWORMS CREW
Aren't schools functionally unavailable in their barest concepts for a good chunk of the population in those Sphere polities with fairly strict hierarchies? In the DC, it might be a decent boost to standard of living and education as a whole to just start teaching whole portions of the population formally for the first time.

And have it be a female Trueborn warrior washout capable of literally beating the systemic misogyny out of the more remote areas.

Viva Miriya
Jan 9, 2007

A detail I never noticed about the ending of the death commandos mission: they fragged the clanners dropship on the way out. Ayy lmao.

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

Viva Miriya posted:

A detail I never noticed about the ending of the death commandos mission: they fragged the clanners dropship on the way out. Ayy lmao.

Yeah, that was pretty great.

Psion
Dec 13, 2002

eVeN I KnOw wHaT CoRnEr gAs iS

Zaodai posted:

"Give existing teachers new material" seems somewhat suspect if it is stuff that the teacher themselves would never be exposed to.

It's not like adults can't learn either. If any of these hypothetical teachers get ahead of the curve enough to teach the foundations to elementary school or whatever, it'll rise from there. You're right that it's not just flipping an ON switch and suddenly everyone is up to standard on all this new knowledge, but it's a process that can be started and then grow rapidly. I don't think it's quite that bad.

or put another way, I'm pretty sure if someone from the 1700s showed up today they could learn the CS fundamentals and be a programmer pretty fast. couple years, maybe. it'd probably take longer to adapt to society rather than learning CS.

this assumes - and this is the key point though - that there's a support system in place to let them learn. To give them the time to learn, which implies a whole lot about labor cost of survival and :words:

Psion fucked around with this message at 17:46 on Jun 22, 2017

jng2058
Jul 17, 2010

We have the tools, we have the talent!





RA Rx posted:

Something I've wanted to say for a while, not strictly on topic, but...

Amaris is innocent until proven guilty. Just because PTN has hinted at genetic madness doesn't prove they are. Maybe they take pills now or meditate at the start/middle/end of a day. So far all we've seen is good rulership and milder retaliatory war crimes (with a functional purpose beyond revenge) than what the Clans would dish out if they defeat the NRWR.
I really don't think we'll ever see Amaris go full Space Hitler.

Which would make sense in most universes. But this is Battletech! Every leader is a psychopathic glory hound until proven otherwise, and probably so even then. :colbert:

mekilljoydammit
Jan 28, 2016

Me have motors that scream to 10,000rpm. Me have more cars than Pick and Pull

DatonKallandor posted:

The clan way - by bidding.
"I bid that I can educate 4 lances of barbarian children with a single star of clan teachers!" "I bid one teacher!"

I would pay money for a BT novel written with that as a premise - washed out trueborn lady in the DC concept even more. Like, no actual POV character in a mech past maybe the first couple chapters, just a clan washout genuinely trying to educate people.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy


Soiled Meat
The Draconis Combine probably has the best overall education in the Inner Sphere, but their ruling classes tend to be less educated. The Capellan Confederation has the best educated middle class. The Federated Suns has a highly educated upper class but the average FedSuns citizen is about as educated as your average stump. Education in the Free Worlds League varies more wildly on a planet by planet basis. The Lyran Commonwealth almost certainly has the best educated upper classes in the Inner Sphere, but is no slouch when it comes to educating the average joe (which is why they have some rebellion problems).

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Zaodai
May 23, 2009

Death before dishonor?
Your terms are accepted.


The CapCon has the best educated citizens, because stupid and lazy people (who aren't rich) don't earn citizenship. :smugdog:

Also if your planet just got conquered, you can't earn citizenship for at least 5 years, so the unwashed Davion masses don't count towards our numbers.

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