Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread - The Something Awful Forums

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Yes, it is important to remember to be ethical even in these trying future times. Except when it comes to murdering Denny, which we should do at the next opportunity.

Be honest.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 16:51

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# ? May 9, 2024 21:29

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

"Please help me!" you beg the robot. "I'm looking for my brother and-"

"Silence, intruder," the robot commands. Keeping its laser trained on you, it waves you over to a chair in front of one of the monitors.

"You will be my helper in the Teletime room, human. I need someone to help me study the past," the robot explains. It points to one of the monitors. "You will watch this screen all night and all day and report to me on what you see."

That's not bad, you think. At least I'll get to watch TV!

You settle into one of the cushioned chairs opposite the monitor. On the screen, George Washington is crossing the Delaware River. You watch him do it again.

And again.

It's interesting the first few times, but after that you get bored. Really bored.

The days, months, and finally years slowly pass. George is still crossing the river. And you're still watching.

Compared to this nonstop history lesson, going to museums with your parents was a total blast!

THE END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Chronometer

Goal Endings: 0/2

Bad Endings
Knocked face-first into a pit of quicksand by a belching dinosaur.
Got distracted watching a prehistoric chicken hatch.
Got locked up and used as a zoo exhibit.
Answered the teacher's question wrong and got frammilized.
Wrapped up by space plant tentacles.
Forced to watch Washington cross the Delaware forever.

Achievements
None yet

Our options posted:

Find Denny instead of travelling through time.

Go to the future.

Go toward the knight.

Use the chronometer before the teacher reaches us.

Go to the engine room.

Trick the robot.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 17:43

Added Space: Jul 13, 2012; Free Markets
Free People

Curse you Hayard-Gunnes!

This sentence is false

# ? Jun 25, 2017 18:23

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

Added Space posted:

This sentence is false

Commence logic bombing until no robots remain.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 18:30

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Maybe lying isn't that bad after all.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 19:09

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You're sure you can trick the robot. After all, you're human and he's just a machine.

"Please don't shoot me," you cry. "I'm a visitor from the past. I'm only here to find my brother."

The robot hesitates. It seems to be computing what you just said. Then it pulls back the trigger on its laser.

"I could prove it if you had better technology," you add.

The robot's electronic eye flashes angrily. "Our technology has been perfected," it states.

"Too bad." You heave a big sigh. "I mean, you probably can't locate the time I left the present.

The robot scuttles over. "When did you leave?" it demands. "I can find that!"

You tell the robot the exact day and time that you left Dr. Peebles's laboratory.

The robot adjusts some controls. Then Dr. Peebles's laboratory appears on the large central monitor.

quote:

All right! The robot fell for it!

You can see yourself stepping into the Chronoport. Then you hear Dr. Peebles say: "One more thing! Remember to hold the buttons down for at least five seconds!"

That's exactly what you needed to hear. Now you know how to make the chronometer work! But you still can't find Denny.

"I don't believe your Teletime machine really shows the past," you say.

"What!!??" the robot roars. "How dare you insult my machine!" Its finger moves closer to the trigger.

"If it really works," you say quickly, "then show me the present."

"The present?" the robot cries.

"Yes!" You nod. "The scenes from the past could have been films or videotapes. If I see scenes from the present, I'll believe the machine really works."

"Very well," the robot grumbles. "But right afterward I will take pleasure in vaporizing you. Any particular scene in the present?" it adds sarcastically.

You smile. Your plan is working.

quote:

"A red-haired boy is visiting the space station," you tell the robot. "Can your machine find him?"

"Of course," the robot says, twisting some dials.

Denny' face ripples across the screen. He's crouched underneath a table that holds a large computer. As you stare at your brother you realize the table is in this very room!

"Denny!" you cry. You run toward the table. Denny is still huddled there, too scared to move or speak.

Swiftly, you duck past the robot and under the desk.

"No!" the robot cries, coming after you. But you grab your brother's hand, then press the top and bottom buttons on the chronometer. As Dr. Peebles instructed, you hold them down for five seconds.

quote:

An instant later, you find yourself back in the laboratory at the Museum of Natural History.

"Welcome back." Dr. Peebles looks relieved to see both you and Denny. "How was your trip?"

"Exciting," you say.

"Boring," Denny whines. He punches you. "I'm hungry!"

You gaze at your brother with exasperation. You know that if it wasn't for you, he would have disappeared forever. You think of everything you had to go through to save him. And for just a moment, you wonder if it was such a good idea.

THE END

At this point, I should probably reassure you that there are a few endings where we basically say "gently caress it" and leave Denny to retcon himself out of existence, as well as a few bad endings where Denny goes down with us.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Chronometer

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Knocked face-first into a pit of quicksand by a belching dinosaur.
Got distracted watching a prehistoric chicken hatch.
Got locked up and used as a zoo exhibit.
Answered the teacher's question wrong and got frammilized.
Wrapped up by space plant tentacles.
Forced to watch Washington cross the Delaware forever.

Achievements
None yet

Our options posted:

Find Denny instead of travelling through time.

Go to the future.

Go toward the knight.

Use the chronometer before the teacher reaches us.

Go to the engine room.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 20:27

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Future.

# ? Jun 25, 2017 20:39

Arrhythmia: Jul 22, 2011

knight

# ? Jun 25, 2017 23:33

Foxfire_: Nov 8, 2010

Can we redefine our goal endings to ones where we survive but Denny doesn't? It's for the best

# ? Jun 26, 2017 01:33

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Foxfire_ posted:

Can we redefine our goal endings to ones where we survive but Denny doesn't? It's for the best

Tempting, but no. I am saving achievements for some of the "screw you, Denny" endings, though.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 01:38

someone awful.: Sep 7, 2007

We were just in the future, albeit by way of the past. Let's go see knights, I guess?

# ? Jun 26, 2017 01:40

POOL IS CLOSED: Jul 14, 2011; I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.; Pillbug

Life with or without Denny? That's like day or knight.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 04:33

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You take off after the knight on horseback. The enormous stone castle stretches toward the sky. Flags fly from its turrets.

You imagine living there. Cool! you think.

Suddenly you notice that the knight has disappeared. Where did he go?

You hurry over a drawbridge, which stretches over a moat. The moat surrounds the castle.

The sound of thundering hooves breaks the silence. The knight is returning, at full speed. And now he's holding a spear - and pointing it at you!

"Hey!" you call out. "I'm not your enemy! I'm a visitor from the future!"

But the knight doesn't pay attention. His horse gallops closer and closer. The tip of the knight's spear gleams in the sun.

Uh-oh. This guy looks pretty serious. Are you ready to face him? Or should you jump into the moat below, even though you're a terrible swimmer?

Face the knight on PAGE 22.

Jump into the moat on PAGE 108.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Chronometer

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Knocked face-first into a pit of quicksand by a belching dinosaur.
Got distracted watching a prehistoric chicken hatch.
Got locked up and used as a zoo exhibit.
Answered the teacher's question wrong and got frammilized.
Wrapped up by space plant tentacles.
Forced to watch Washington cross the Delaware forever.

Achievements
None yet

By the way, just to encourage you a bit: the medieval section contains the single best ending in the game, and while it isn't a goal ending, I will award an achievement if we reach it.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 04:51

someone awful.: Sep 7, 2007

We don't need to swim, we just need to float.
The knight definitely can't, so let's get in the moat.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 05:07

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

Cannonball!

# ? Jun 26, 2017 08:40

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Knights like chivalry, right? It isn't chivalrous to run away, so we will stand our ground.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 09:59

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You decide to take your chances in the moat.

SPLASH! The water is cold - but at least you escaped that fierce-looking knight.

Then you hear it - a loud clacking sound.

A crocodile snapping his jaws. He's right in front of you! And he looks mighty hungry!

You turn away from the crocodile and swim in the opposite direction. You wish you could swim faster. The crocodile's gaining on you!

Suddenly another crocodile pops up in your path. And another.

You're totally surrounded by hungry green crocodiles!

You grab for the chronometer around your neck. But before you can press the buttons, the crocodile nearest you snatches it out of your hand.

In one gulp, he swallows it!

Too bad. The chronometer was only the appetizer. The main course is about to be served - and it's you!

THE END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Chronometer

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Knocked face-first into a pit of quicksand by a belching dinosaur.
Got distracted watching a prehistoric chicken hatch.
Got locked up and used as a zoo exhibit.
Answered the teacher's question wrong and got frammilized.
Wrapped up by space plant tentacles.
Forced to watch Washington cross the Delaware forever.
Jumped into a moat and got eaten by crocodiles.

Achievements
None yet

Our options posted:

Find Denny instead of travelling through time.

Go to the future.

Use the chronometer before the teacher reaches us.

Go to the engine room.

Face the knight.

# ? Jun 26, 2017 14:10

someone awful.: Sep 7, 2007

I'm still curious about this medieval track, so let's face the Knight instead of becoming a snack

# ? Jun 26, 2017 16:01

POOL IS CLOSED: Jul 14, 2011; I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.; Pillbug

someone awful. posted:

I'm still curious about this medieval track, so let's face the Knight instead of becoming a snack

# ? Jun 26, 2017 16:38

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Like I said before, we shall stand our ground!

# ? Jun 26, 2017 19:17

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

If only you'd taken swimming lessons when your mom wanted you to! You decide not to jump into the boat. You face the knight and his spear.

Right before he reaches you, the knight reins in his horse.

"Who are you, stranger?" he demands.

"I'm a visitor from the future. I'm searching for my brother."

"No one enters King Ruthbert's castle unless he can meet the challenge!" he replies.

"What challenge?" you ask.

"You must fight me, his Noble Defender, in a duel," the knight says with a smirk. "The loser will become food for the king's crocodiles in the moat."

Crocodiles in the moat? Good thing you didn't jump in after all!

The knight dismounts and pulls a bag of weapons from his saddle. You see a spear, a sword, a spiky chain, and a huge wooden club. "Here, you may choose your weapon," he says.

This guy really wants to have a duel?

"Well," the knight says impatiently. "Choose!"

quote:

As you reach for a weapon, you notice an apple tree planted alongside the moat. Suddenly you have an idea - and it's just what you need to put a chink in this knight's armor.

"I choose the club," you tell the knight, "But we'll duel according to my rules."

"Very well, stranger," the knight says. He hands you the club.

"See that apple tree?" you say. "Pick one of the apples and toss it toward me. I'll hit the apple with the club. Then I'll throw an apple for you to hit. Whoever hits the apple the farthest will win the duel."

"A strange challenge indeed," the knight grumbles. "But I accept."

Last year you were the best batter on your baseball team. Now you're hoping your batting average will pay off. Can you beat the knight at baseball? To find out, flip two coins.

If both coins come up the same, heads or tails, turn to PAGE 30.

If one coin comes up heads and the other comes up tails, turn to PAGE 116.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Chronometer

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Knocked face-first into a pit of quicksand by a belching dinosaur.
Got distracted watching a prehistoric chicken hatch.
Got locked up and used as a zoo exhibit.
Answered the teacher's question wrong and got frammilized.
Wrapped up by space plant tentacles.
Forced to watch Washington cross the Delaware forever.
Jumped into a moat and got eaten by crocodiles.

Achievements
None yet

# ? Jun 27, 2017 02:37

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

Siri flipped two heads so this is a trial of Apple's reliability.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 02:58

POOL IS CLOSED: Jul 14, 2011; I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.; Pillbug

Tails the worst sanic.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 03:13

someone awful.: Sep 7, 2007

Don't pick the one that rhymes with "fails", go with heads instead of tails

# ? Jun 27, 2017 03:29

Cathode Raymond: Dec 30, 2015; My antenna is telling me that you're probably wrong about this.; Soiled Meat

It's not heads or tails, it's whether your coin toss results are the same or different.

If none of you can pay attention how are we ever going to successfully find and murder Denny :colbert:

:colbert:

My coins landed same side up.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 04:08

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

I actually got one coin that landed on its side before rolling off the table. I suppose it didn't come up the same as the other one.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 06:02

Anticheese: Feb 13, 2008; $60,000,000 sexbot

I got tails twice so...Onwards to page 30!

# ? Jun 27, 2017 07:52

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

The knight takes the club and holds it awkwardly.

This should be easy, you think as you pick an apple. You throw it to him - a fast pitch. To your surprise, he hits it - but the apple only flies a few feet.

"You'll never be able to beat that," the knight says.

"We'll see," you reply. He's never seen you play ball.

You grip the club tightly as the knight picks an apple. He winds up, then tosses it toward you.

You keep your eye fixed on the shiny red ball as it soars through the air. You shouldn't have any problem hitting this baby.

You reach back with your bat and start to swing. Then the bat connects - with empty air! You missed!

"Wait!" you cry. "Let me try again."

"Sorry," the knight says. "You can't change the rules."

"But-"

"The crocodiles are hungry." The knight picks you up in both his arms. "It's past their lunchtime!"

You start to reach for the chronometer. But it's too late. You're falling - falling into the moat. Below you are a dozen snapping jaws.

Too bad, batting champ! You've struck out big time!

THE END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Chronometer

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Knocked face-first into a pit of quicksand by a belching dinosaur.
Got distracted watching a prehistoric chicken hatch.
Got locked up and used as a zoo exhibit.
Answered the teacher's question wrong and got frammilized.
Wrapped up by space plant tentacles.
Forced to watch Washington cross the Delaware forever.
Jumped into a moat and got eaten by crocodiles.
Lost a game of baseball with a knight and got chucked into the moat.

Achievements
None yet

Our options posted:

Find Denny instead of travelling through time.

Go to the future.

Use the chronometer before the teacher reaches us.

Go to the engine room.

Beat the knight at baseball.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 18:23

Junpei: Oct 4, 2015; Can't post for 11 years!

Actually, I got one coin on each side.

# ? Jun 27, 2017 18:54

Drowning Rabbit: Oct 28, 2003; YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

different coin result

I gotta say, these kind of "Your decision is random, it means nothing!" kind of choices seem really cheap and lovely.

Really every choice can be boiled down to "You don't know what the result is going to be" 50/50 shots, but these feel exceptionally lazy to me.

Then again, it's Goosebumps...

# ? Jun 27, 2017 19:34

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

"I'm ready to begin the duel," the knight tells you. He plucks an apple from the tree. Then he winds up and throws the apple toward you. Holding the club like a baseball bat, you smack the apple. It soars down the path, past the knight.

"I can hit it much farther," the knight boasts. He takes his place at the end of the drawbridge.

Now you pick an apple from the tree. You stand on the pitcher's mound and eye the knight. Then you wind up. You pitch.

The knight swings with all his might.

And hits a blooper a few feet in front of you.

All right!

"I won," you call. "Now can I go into the castle? I need to look for my brother."

The knight nods. "Very well, stranger," he says sadly. "You may enter the castle. But according to the rules, I must jump into the moat."

quote:

"Wait!" you cry. "You don't need to-" But it's too late. He's already jumped into the water. You watch in horror as the crocodiles swim toward him - jaws open!

"One last thing," the knight calls before the beasts reach him. "Beware of the Lair!"

"The what?" you ask. But the only answer is the snapping of the crocodiles' jaws.

Trying not to watch or listen, you hurry across the drawbridge and into the castle.

quote:

The high, wooden door to the castle stands open. "Hello?" you call. "Is anyone home?"

Your own voice echoes back. You step through the door into a dark entrance hall. Hanging from the wall is a tapestry. In the center there's a picture of a fierce-looking beast.

A lion? you wonder. You sure hope you don't run into him here!

You enter a winding, narrow corridor. Empty suits of armor line the walls. The only light comes from flickering candles.

The corridor turns and twists, but doesn't seem to lead anywhere. You glance at the chronometer. Only one hour left - and there's still no sign of Denny!

Then all the candles go out.

You're in total darkness!

From somewhere up ahead, you hear an eerie scream. A human scream. Chills creep up your spine. Who was that? Maybe you should get out of here right now.

But what if it was Denny?

If you choose to go on, turn to PAGE 76.

If you decide to turn back, go to PAGE 51.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Chronometer

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Knocked face-first into a pit of quicksand by a belching dinosaur.
Got distracted watching a prehistoric chicken hatch.
Got locked up and used as a zoo exhibit.
Answered the teacher's question wrong and got frammilized.
Wrapped up by space plant tentacles.
Forced to watch Washington cross the Delaware forever.
Jumped into a moat and got eaten by crocodiles.
Lost a game of baseball with a knight and got chucked into the moat.

Achievements
None yet

# ? Jun 27, 2017 23:10

chiasaur11: Oct 22, 2012

The narration was right. It could be Denny!

Turn back

# ? Jun 27, 2017 23:14

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

quote:

From somewhere up ahead, you hear an eerie scream. A human scream. Chills creep up your spine. Who was that? Maybe you should get out of here right now.

But what if it was Denny?

How many Page 51s does this book have?

# ? Jun 27, 2017 23:18

POOL IS CLOSED: Jul 14, 2011; I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.; Pillbug

chiasaur11 posted:

The narration was right. It could be Denny!

Turn back

Yeah!

# ? Jun 27, 2017 23:19

Arrhythmia: Jul 22, 2011

chiasaur11 posted:

The narration was right. It could be Denny!

Turn back

:yeah:

# ? Jun 27, 2017 23:33

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

chiasaur11 posted:

The narration was right. It could be Denny!

Turn back

:agreed:

# ? Jun 27, 2017 23:47

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Drowning Rabbit posted:

different coin result

I gotta say, these kind of "Your decision is random, it means nothing!" kind of choices seem really cheap and lovely. Really every choice can be boiled down to "You don't know what the result is going to be" 50/50 shots, but these feel exceptionally lazy to me.

Then again, it's Goosebumps...

I actually really like all the different ways they have of doing completely chance-based choices; coming off of Lone Wolf, which uses dice/number picking only, it feels really fresh and creative.

Wouldn't really work for a serious gamebook though.

# ? Jun 28, 2017 01:12

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Yeah no we're running the gently caress away

# ? Jun 28, 2017 02:23

postmodifier: Nov 24, 2004; The LIQUOR BOTTLES are out in full force.
MOM is surely nearby.

I actually commend the 'day of the week' / weather / coin-flip-based choices for teaching children at an early age that life is largely, on the whole, arbitrary bullshit that will either make or break your day depending on factors entirely outside of your immediate control, therefore rendering the entire idea of freedom of choice a cage of one's own cruel making from which the only escape is death

and so, one should run away from one's problems while one can

# ? Jun 28, 2017 02:34

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# ? May 9, 2024 21:29

AnAnonymousIdiot: Sep 14, 2013

Like the Knights of the Round Table, we RUN AWAY!!

# ? Jun 28, 2017 02:35

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The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

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