yeah I eat rear end posted:

I find it hard to believe someone could blow 30 grand a year or whatever it was on mostly drugs and alcohol unless you're buying only the highest quality stuff. I guess it could be goony hyperbole but still, even at my worst I was spending like 100 dollars a week on mediocre alcohol and that was much more than enough for one person.

Anyway yeah get a job, your parents are much more likely to forgive you if you fess up and are on the way to making it right rather than keep trying to hide it.

Dream goon, they are just dreams. They mean nothing and nobody cares about them.

Sjs00 posted:

I never could watch Breaking Bad; the show was just too real. Stupid looking people doing stupid things.
Just get a job goon; poo poo people everywhere are hiring.

Anton Chigurh posted:

Many millennials would rather not work at all than "start at the bottom" or do work they consider too menial or beneath them. Hence the huge number of college graduates still living at home sucking off the parental teat. Unfortunately, many parents will let them do it. At least for awhile.

Anton Chigurh posted:

He probably got a liberal arts degree in some bullshit major like philosophy or 18th century literature. Unless you want to go into teaching, those types degrees are worthless for finding jobs that have anything to do with the degree. So, graduates are stuck looking for work in low level office jobs at near minimum wage.

Many millennials would rather not work at all than "start at the bottom" or do work they consider too menial or beneath them. Hence the huge number of college graduates still living at home sucking off the parental teat. Unfortunately, many parents will let them do it. At least for awhile.

SniperWoreConverse posted:

or start sowing oats? Fuckin, if it's really that rural...

Scyantific posted:

no less than 150 on booze (handles and 18 packs of keystone lmfao)

Sjs00 posted:

I never could watch Breaking Bad; the show was just too real. Stupid looking people doing stupid things.
Just get a job goon; poo poo people everywhere are hiring.

kfcgoon posted:

but I loving love KFC chicken

Anton Chigurh posted:

He probably got a liberal arts degree in some bullshit major like philosophy or 18th century literature. Unless you want to go into teaching, those types degrees are worthless for finding jobs that have anything to do with the degree. So, graduates are stuck looking for work in low level office jobs at near minimum wage.

Many millennials would rather not work at all than "start at the bottom" or do work they consider too menial or beneath them. Hence the huge number of college graduates still living at home sucking off the parental teat. Unfortunately, many parents will let them do it. At least for awhile.

RFC2324 posted:

I made it to the 4th or 5th episode when he blows up the douche bags car 3 blocks from my dad's house.

I hung out at Clarks pet emporium in middle school.

Sjs00 posted:

we got an angry millenial

quote:

Hi I haven't caught up with this thread yet but this thread reminded me of the monkey death feshes a while back, and that reading about orangutans being grossly mistreated breaks my heart just like any other animal. But whenever I see chimpanzees irl I do fantasize about bashing their skulls in. I don't seek out videos of primates being tortured but I do feel like jerking off if I do.
When I was younger (about 13 or so) a case made the news where a chimpanzee mistook a human baby for its own and dropped the baby to its death upon being startled. I started to wish and jerk off to the idea where the chimpanzee would be made aware that it just killed a baby and is tortured forever with guilt and physical pain. I think I just hate chimpanzees because they are so much like us in mean spiritedness but without the intelligence to do the right thing, and my hate for orangutans isn't as strong which is why I'm capable of feeling sad for then. I'm rambling because it's late I'm sorry.

quote:

Therapy goon here. My girlfriend threw my phone at me.

To preface this: After I talked to my friend things were good. She didn't flip her poo poo over anything regarding me. I wasn't ever naive enough to just believe she won't ever have a freak-out towards me anymore but I thought we had some really great progress regarding the overstepping of boundaries and general anger management. I was happy how things went, honestly. I would also occasionally chat with my friend which, objectively, I still have no idea about. I don't know why she's talking to me again. I always wanted to talk to her again but objectively, I don't understand it. Honestly, it's all kinda weird. She is. Well, anyways-

We were sitting there and watching some Netflix documentary. My phone went off and it was my friend texting, I texted back. This we had often and she (my girlfriend, lets call her J. from now on) was cool with me writing my friend. J. sometimes not-so-secretly tried to look at the screen to see what I was writing and honestly, I just let her when she did. I didn't care. I know that's probably not ok in a healthy relationship but I wouldn't mind a stranger overhearing these conversations. I also thought it's good if she can see that the conversations are harmless.

So then J. asked me in a joking manner what we "two lovers" are talking about. Let me preface what I write now with that I don't have to walk on eggshells around her, we sometimes make jokes about each other and it's ok. I make jokes about her height and she sometimes tells me she's afraid she can't help me as she "has no experience with child psychology" and all that and it's all in good fun. We can joke like that. I said to her "We're deciding on the name of our first child".

I could see it in her face right away. She got silent. This was dumb of me, I didn't really think about it. I thought about apologising but I didn't want to add extra attention to it so I didn't. Things were suddenly tense, she was fixated on the TV and quiet. I put my phone on the desk, then a few seconds later I got another message. I was mortified at this point and didn't even want to look at it. I could see her getting angry. The phone rang again. She jumped off the couch she was lying on and grabbed and squeezed my phone so hard that her knuckles were turning white and started tearing into me with an absolutely horrifying voice shaking of anger wile wildly shaking my phone in my general direction. Why I don't talk to my "white trash" (closest translation) Russian bitch. Why I don't move in with her so we can gently caress every day. How I probably hosed her when we met anyways. A few other choice things about Russia and Slavic people in general too which don't translate too well, which is almost funny considering the looks of J. and her obviously having something Slavic in her too. (Despite her name, that face just isn't typical for natives here) Also what a scumbag and dog I am for loving my friend right in front of her. It didn't even make sense.

I was frozen. I just stammered a "calm down" then my phone was already in the air, barely missing my head (I swear to god I could feel the air) and right into the living room window where it somehow just bounced off without cracking the glass and landed screen down (what else) on the stone floor. The screen was cracked somewhat but it wouldn't turn on anymore. The case was loose. She stormed off into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her full force. Then something that I can only describe as angry scream followed by crying. I collected my broken phone and got the hell out of there.

I had no idea what to do, had absolutely nothing on me except wallet, my clothes I was wearing and my broken phone so I walked to my parents. I arrived there in the evening. Thank god it's summer.

My parents were surprisingly quiet about it. I just said that I had a fight, was tired and might have to stay for a while. Not many further questions were asked, so back I was in my small and now almost empty room since all my stuff was at J.'s place. I felt so defeated, not by J. or anybody else. No, just by life. All this effort to change things, all the lucky change that actually occurred and I'd end up there again. The only distraction I had that night was a ~15 year old mp3 player with Green Day and NIN on it. I couldn't sleep and ended up pacing around the house until the sun started rising and I basically fell asleep from exhaustion. Honestly, being back in that house depressed the poo poo out of me. That yard, that small room. It made me sick to be there. It's hard to explain when you never were stuck in a place. Maybe it makes me sound pathetic but I was pretty much planning on going back the next day or the day after and have a talk.

When I woke up around noon, J. was in the kitchen with my antidepressants, which I guess was her excuse to show up. My mother let her in and apparently they had a chat. She looked tiny and like she hasn't slept at all. To cut a long story short, yeah I went back with her. She apologised for everything, explained herself and basically begged me to. She also said that she wants me to come back to "our home". This was a first. It was never ours, I was practically living there the last few months but we never really talked about living together like that permanently, it was supposed to be a thing until I get onto my own feet, even if our agreement was very vague it never was meant to be permanent. Now it's "our home" and she wants to share "her life and everything else" with me, besides a few other very touching things I don't want to repeat. It moved me, I can't lie. I do love her. She bared all, so to speak. I guess she guessed this is her only chance to get me back. She had no idea I didn't plan on leaving. I didn't tell her. I might be a loser but I'm not dumb.

On the car drive home I told her she has anger issues and needs help with them, help I can't provide, as willing as I am to support her. I told her that throwing things at me over a joke is not normal or ok. She could have injured me. I told her that she genuinely scares me sometimes, that she's not herself when she's angry and I am afraid of that person. Jokes about her steering into oncoming traffic aside I thought it was good timing because I held all cards in my hands, she was convinced I'd end things with her and she convinced me to stay. It didn't get us very far. She took it silently in stride, just agreed and apologised again and confirmed she has anger issues which is still a big thing but not that big, she did so before. She will think about "talking to someone". I'm not sure what this means but I didn't want to push her further, even though I probably should have. I just felt sorry for her. She really looked terrible and sounded very defeated. I also was tired and probably didn't look much better.

When we arrived at the condo we both would gradually thawed up and had a very nice afternoon together. Just spending time with each other. Then she brought me my antidepressants. It's kinda embarrassing, we developed this weird ritual where she'd sometimes bring me my pill and water without me asking. I wasn't comfortable with it in the beginning either and found it weird but it sort of just settled like that and I'm ok with it and even find it somewhat comforting and nice. I would never admit this if this wasn't anonymous. She can be very caring and it's just nice. After I took my pill things got weird. I just started feeling fuzzy. Warm. Like my mind goes in smaller and smaller circles. The whole world went sideways, somehow. I felt so entirely calm. I also got very tired. I tried to fight it but couldn't. It freaked me out a little, I wondered if she gave me something else for a moment but I couldn't imagine it, also those were def. my pills. I remember basically crawling into bed and she just standing at the door asking me if I already want to sleep and smiling at me, then I was already gone. I woke up at 4 AM with her curled up to me and holding my arm and I just carefully sneaked out of bed and felt super energised, like I had the best sleep of my life. It still freaks me out because I never had a side effect like that and I am a bit apprehensive. Maybe I was just overtired from not properly sleeping the night before. I don't know. I felt a bit weird for the rest of that day, rested but my mind felt a bit blank. I don't believe she would give me anything else, mostly there's no motive for that but as much as I love her, I don't trust her fully as she can be a different person sometimes. I feel weird for even writing this. It's probably nothing.

Well anyways that's my situation so far. Also yes, we do use protection. Her medical condition is a bit more complicated than "infertile" even though women don't exactly get more fertile with age and things haven't exactly improved for her there. I also have a job interview this week. She's buying me a new phone which I guess will be the most expensive the store has (as usual) and she's also very insistent and serious to put my name on the doorbell which I don't know how I feel about and also don't really find important. I feel I get further drawn into this. I have to admit that I have mixed feelings after all.

quote:

heres my confession





bohemian rhapsody loving blows.


sorry but it's poo poo.

quote:

This is so stupid and weird and gross but I don't feel I can tell anyone about it, let alone my wife. The main reason is that I literally would hate for anyone to bring it up to me IRL, referencing it again. It has stayed in my head for forever and aside from you weirdos online, I'd like to keep it that way.

When I was probably 7 or 8 years old (though to be honest, I can't really remember how old I was), I had a dream about Beetlejuice. Yes, Tim Burton's Michael Keaton's Beetlejuice. I was IN the movie or universe where he existed, and I summoned him. He showed up, but didn't want to talk, he wanted to show me "Colpitts".

Colpitts was his name for whatever was between his legs. I was suddenly tied up, couldn't move, and he opened up the zebra-stripes trench coat he was wearing to show me.



Instead of a dick, it was more like a vagina, except it was higher up, closer to his abdomen. In the "slit" was something that looked like a wet, bulbous eye that was completely black, and there was stringy hair and wet "eye gunk" surrounding it. Despite it being completely black, it looked like it was turning around, the hair getting caught and rolled up into it. He kept touching and rubbing it, smelling and licking his fingers, and was getting closer and closer to my face. I could smell it from where I was, and I don't remember the smell (maybe you can't smell in dreams? I don't know) but I knew it smelled terrible. And he kept yelling "c'mon! C'mon! I'm just trying to cut a deal here!". Then I woke up.

I have to be honest, I don't think of this so much when I see him in the movie, but I can't help but think of it when I hear the last name "Colpitts".

quote:

He showed up, but didn't want to talk, he wanted to show me "Colpitts".

The Snoo posted:

omfg therapy goon don't let someone else manage your medication unless it's super necessary for your safety jfc

Police Automaton posted:

Do you think they'll mention SA in the "true crimes" show showing this case when he invariably ends up being murdered?

The Snoo posted:

omfg therapy goon don't let someone else manage your medication unless it's super necessary for your safety jfc

quote:

In his case, somewhere along the way there will be a 2.5 after an Incident when Therapygoon finds himself waking up and strapped to his bed with his girlfriend breaking his feet with a sledgehammer or sawing both of them off.

Anton Chigurh posted:

Fartbox posted:

Just bring a gun to school. Problem solved.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

did it look anything like this, op?