Taiwan Number 1

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Taiwan Number 1

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPQuc2GX3Sc

This guy is awesome. Made me so happy about my home.

Xinhua News agency was impressed as well and used this video for their 20th anniversary handover propaganda.

There's nothing the CCP won't do and they will always be the lowest of the low.

The Xinhua video is taken down in Hong Kong, but you can still find it in the mainland

# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:27

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 17:15

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

caberham posted:

propaganda.

Right you are, Ken, right you are.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 17:43

caberham: Mar 18, 2009; by Smythe; Grimey Drawer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEAvqXCefkc

# ? Jul 4, 2017 18:01

angel opportunity: Sep 7, 2004; Total Eclipse of the Heart

McGavin posted:

Influential, misinformed Canadian media hurts China-Canada relations

Dude literally can't understand how a free press works.

https://twitter.com/jow_yuzo/status/882298967404404736

# ? Jul 4, 2017 19:10

Modest Mao: Feb 11, 2011; by Cyrano4747

Well, we did exclude 'em

# ? Jul 4, 2017 19:17

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Modest Mao posted:

Well, we did exclude 'em

Each and every coin has two sides.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 19:26

Bob NewSCART: Feb 1, 2012; Outstanding afternoon. "I've often said there's nothing better for the inside of a man than the outside of a horse."

Xerxes17 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06gvRlOfUv0

Man that is some good poo poo, pity the food is probably contaminated with dioxins and heavy metals. Well, I guess the people just need to protest and...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuolpJV4vnY

Well poo poo. BRB, moving to New China, aka Toronto.

These jpgs have a long and deep history of connectedness with the main OP, please do not question or there will be hurt feelings.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 19:26

big time bisexual: Oct 16, 2002; Cool Party

woman attempts to clean her apartment window but trips and falls five stories. miraculously saved by getting tangled in overhead wires.

https://my.mixtape.moe/rspgvv.mp4

# ? Jul 4, 2017 20:01

Slim Jim Pickens: Jan 16, 2012

She doesn't exactly look okay

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:01

OWLS!: Sep 17, 2009; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

She doesn't exactly look okay

Not splat is an improvement.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:16

angel opportunity: Sep 7, 2004; Total Eclipse of the Heart

she's having a rest

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:20

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Lmao at her just dangling up there.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:34

big time bisexual: Oct 16, 2002; Cool Party

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

She doesn't exactly look okay

she passed out but is fine now according to sina

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:39

ocrumsprug: Sep 23, 2010; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

I was wondering how many people were electrocuted during the rescue.

# ? Jul 4, 2017 22:59

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

I feel like at some point you just gotta call that a bald woman, haier

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:37

Accretionist: Nov 7, 2012; I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

∞-head.

Also, Alibaba-founder Jack Ma explains American decline:

quote:

"In the past 30 years, America had 13 wars spending $14.2 trillion ... no matter how good your strategy is you're supposed to spend money on your own people," Ma said. "The money goes to Wall Street. Then what happened? Year 2008. The financial crisis wiped out $19.2 trillion in US income ... What if the money was spent on the Midwest of the United States, developing industry there?"

"It is not that the other countries steal jobs from you guys � that is your strategy. You did not distribute the money in the proper way."

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...s-a7821396.html

Checks out. :smith:

# ? Jul 4, 2017 23:55

Murray Mantoinette: Jun 11, 2005; ＴＨＥＰＯＳＴＳＭＵＳＴＦＬＯＷ; Clapping Larry

Punkin Spunkin posted:

I feel like at some point you just gotta call that a bald woman, haier

She's actually got a really good skull shape. She'd probably look a lot sexier if she was bald, ala Grace Jones or Sinead O'Connor.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 00:02

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Accretionist posted:

∞-head.

Also, Alibaba-founder Jack Ma explains American decline:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...s-a7821396.html

Checks out.

jack ma wants to be steve jobs so loving bad its hilarious

# ? Jul 5, 2017 00:05

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

unfortunately for him nobody will ever be able to get past the fact that he looks like a loving turnip

# ? Jul 5, 2017 00:05

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Accretionist posted:

∞-head.

Also, Alibaba-founder Jack Ma explains American decline:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/w...s-a7821396.html

Checks out.

Better dead than red.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 00:05

Accretionist: Nov 7, 2012; I BELIEVE IN STUPID CONSPIRACY THEORIES

Fojar38 posted:

unfortunately for him nobody will ever be able to get past the fact that he looks like a loving turnip

Look at how large his brain must be.

I trust him implicitly.

Chomp8645 posted:

Better dead than red.

Yes, we must be ever vigilant against the GOP.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 00:10

VideoTapir: Oct 18, 2005; He'll tire eventually.

Jack MODOK

# ? Jul 5, 2017 00:50

Khorne: May 1, 2002

Slim Jim Pickens posted:

She doesn't exactly look okay

I'd say that's a top tier outcome for falling from enough stories to die. Her leg might not even be broken.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 01:46

ninjoatse.cx: Apr 9, 2005; Fun Shoe

I just can't get over how weird looking Jack Ma is. It's not his fault, and I feel so bad for him. If he were better looking he'd be on magazine covers.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 06:15

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

jack ma is a sixhead without any heavy metal poisoning hair loss, he will truly lead china to glory

# ? Jul 5, 2017 08:50

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

Fojar38 posted:

unfortunately for him nobody will ever be able to get past the fact that he looks like a loving turnip

Yeah but when you have a zillion dollars from selling fake Nikes or whatever the gently caress he does then it doesn't matter.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 09:34

hailthefish: Oct 24, 2010

He owns the platform that china uses to sell fake nikes to eachother. That's like, twice as much face as just getting rich selling fake nikes.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 09:36

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

hailthefish posted:

twice as much face

Jeoh posted:

jack ma is a sixhead without any heavy metal poisoning hair loss, he will truly lead china to glory

These are both true.

Jim Barris posted:

Do you sleep with the fiveheads? Or does their vast cranial plateau disqualify them from a plunging?

I have and it is fine in the dark room. It used to freak me out to be with a bald woman, but it's so normal for people here that I guess it is normal for me too now.
Still, there have been many times where I have met or seen someone and thought "That is a weird looking human being right there," and then familiarity removes that thought and I can't see what's weird, but I know in the back of my mind that if someone else (like another foreigner, or my dad or something) saw me with them they might think "LOL, that dude is out with a weird looking person."

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I dunno, she's kind of cute. You could look at her and be like "baby, I see the future in your face" and she would probably be really flattered even though you meant literally using her as a crystal ball.

Women like this comparison, trust me.

P.S. According to Tyra Banks, one can measure the numeric value of their forehead with fingers. I think I might be a threehead; wish someone had told me about my raging microcephaly

LMAO, what? :lol:

Tyra is a fivehead queen and gets a pass, but her finger counting trick will come in handy because now I want to try that out on everyone. I get 4 fingers, so I guess my number is safe.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 09:49

Fauxtool: Oct 21, 2008; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

how are you counting? top of eyebrows to hairline?

# ? Jul 5, 2017 10:17

ladron: Sep 15, 2007; eso es lo que es

Fauxtool posted:

how are you counting? top of eyebrows to hairline?

that's the way I did it, and I am a definite 3 head and the envy of every korean

# ? Jul 5, 2017 10:22

Slim Jim Pickens: Jan 16, 2012

Haier posted:

I think I found my favorite Fivehead of 2017.

I like that Tantan now lets me see people "moments" without having to match with them. Her profile had her in like kilos of make up and fancy hairstyles looking all fancy (no fivehead noticeable), but she was crazy enough to post this one in her Moments revealing her true form. Her power levels are off the charts.

This girl with her natural hairline is accomplishing what the manchus spent 200 years trying to enforce

# ? Jul 5, 2017 10:39

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Fauxtool posted:

how are you counting? top of eyebrows to hairline?

ladron posted:

that's the way I did it, and I am a definite 3 head and the envy of every korean

It's okay, my husband has a fivehead. If we have kids, they might be normal.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 11:44

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

It's good, the hatmakers will not go out of business soon.

I have a sixhead, but I'm not sure if I'm not going full Picard. The first 4 years of having a child kicked in the turbo in terms of aging.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 12:00

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

Accretionist posted:

Look at how large his brain must be.

I trust him implicitly.

Yes, we must be ever vigilant against the GOP.

he looks like an austin powers villain

# ? Jul 5, 2017 12:02

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

why's everyone from china got a hosed up head

# ? Jul 5, 2017 12:03

Haier: Aug 10, 2007; by Lowtax

Robo Reagan posted:

why's everyone from china got a hosed up head

I am not an X, but my theory I tell all Mainlanders (who also wonder why people in China have big heads) is that Famine Head-o-sis for generations over thousands of years has resulted in a standard unnaturally large skull for the population, especially in people from the North where they pretend its not a desert. I just like making fun of the history of constant wars and famines they have had to endure.
Famine/Malnutrition Head (don't know the scientific name) is when the body sends all energy/nutrition to the head and brain and keeps the body small, so that the mental facilities aren't as greatly impacted in keeping the body alive (a retarded brain is not helpful in finding food). This results in normal or big sized heads and really small, weak and stunted bodies. I see it all the time in India in poor people, but it seems to be a standard genetic trait now in Mainland China, especially since their last great famine was only two generations ago.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 12:26

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Haier posted:

I think I found my favorite Fivehead of 2017.

I like that Tantan now lets me see people "moments" without having to match with them. Her profile had her in like kilos of make up and fancy hairstyles looking all fancy (no fivehead noticeable), but she was crazy enough to post this one in her Moments revealing her true form. Her power levels are off the charts.

Oh poo poo she look like my dad.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 13:07

big time bisexual: Oct 16, 2002; Cool Party

Robo Reagan posted:

why's everyone from china got a hosed up head

http://www.scmp.com/news/china/article/2054126/why-do-asians-have-bigger-brains-europeans-or-africans

tl;dr han supermen are our superiors

# ? Jul 5, 2017 13:08

Ewan: Sep 29, 2008; Ewan is tired of his reputation as a serious Simon. I'm more of a jokester than you people think. My real name isn't even Ewan, that was a joke it's actually MARTIN! LOL fooled you again, it really is Ewan! Look at that monkey with a big nose, Ewan is so random! XD

Robo Reagan posted:

he looks like an austin powers villain

A lot of Chinese people call him 外星人 (alien) for obvious reasons.

# ? Jul 5, 2017 13:19

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 17:15

LentThem: Aug 31, 2004; 90% Retractible

Robo Reagan posted:

why's everyone from china got a hosed up head

they do it on purpose because big heads are more beautiful and because ancient people did it

No seriously look at the wruote below the answer is NO WHY

http://www.vagabondjourney.com/im-told-why-chinese-people-have-flat-heads/

quote:

�What are these pillows for?� I asked a Chinese friend who just had a baby.

I was poking around her new baby room and I found an apparatus that consisted of two elongated, hot dog bun-shaped pillows that were attached together by a six inch length of cloth.

�To put on each side of the baby�s head to keep it facing up,� my friend responded simply.

�Oh, is that so it doesn�t stop breathing?� I asked, thinking of my mother.

�No, it�s to make the back of its head flat,� she replied. �Like this.�

She then turned to the side and pushed the hair down on the back of her head, revealing to me that it was remarkably flat.

�Why do you want your baby�s head to be flat?� I queried.

�To make its head bigger.�

�Why do you want its head to be bigger?�

�I don�t know. Maybe because we think big heads are more beautiful.�

Fair enough.

My curiosity was again stoked. I further inquired about this with other people and it became evident that the use of these pillows to keep babies on their backs for the purpose of giving them flatter heads was very common in mainland China, seemingly to the point of being almost universal.

�Yes, my parents used those pillows for me,� Cody Chao, a medical student in Suzhou said with a laugh. His statement was echoed over and over as I went around asking my friends how their heads became so flat.

Chao told me that the pillows are generally not applied until the baby is three months old, stating that it could be dangerous to do it prior. He reaffirmed that it was done purely for aesthetics, and mentioned that it was similar to how clips are sometimes applied to the noses of adolescents to make them grow longer and more narrow.

I asked my Chinese researcher if she used these pillows for her daughter when she was a baby.

�Yes,� she replied. �I used the pillow when my daughter was about 4 months old. My grandma made a pillow for her. It was useful . . . because she kept sleeping sideways. Her head shape was not good looking at first.�

�What�s a good looking head shape?� I asked.

�People think a good head shape shouldn�t bulge too much on the backside.�

I asked her if she knew where this custom came from.

�I think it�s an old tradition,� she responded. �Because in ancient times people used hard materials to make pillows and if your head bulged too much on the backside when you are sleeping on the hard pillow your head hurt.�

That final bold part is important, because it also shows that if a person does it and their parents did it and they dont know why, the DEFAULT THOUGHT PROCESS is "maybe it was some ancient tradition i dont know but therefore i should do it".

LentThem fucked around with this message at 14:02 on Jul 5, 2017

# ? Jul 5, 2017 13:56

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