Newspaper Spider-Man: "Yo, Spider-Man! Down here!"

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Newspaper Spider-Man: "Yo, Spider-Man! Down here!"

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Cabbit: Jul 19, 2001; _{Is that everything you have?}

Oh, I get it.

He's going to weave an apartment building out of web around them, then affix the fire escape to the outside to complete the disguise.

# ? Jul 6, 2017 09:55

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# ? May 13, 2024 21:11

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Synthbuttrange posted:

"Spider-Man, 3 bystanders crushed to death by debris"

They are survived by unemployed loser Peter Parker, who is also now homeless because the family home was in his Aunt's name and the apartment belonged to his rich and glamorous wife (and his Uncle Moley's home was recently conquered by the Roman Empire).

# ? Jul 6, 2017 10:18

Unkempt: May 24, 2003; ...perfect spiral, scientists are still figuring it out...

One of those tails on the question mark bubble should be pointing straight out of the strip and at my head because I don't know what the gently caress.

# ? Jul 6, 2017 11:28

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

ZeroCount posted:

what the gently caress is spiderman doing

Whatever a spider can.

# ? Jul 6, 2017 15:13

evilmiera: Dec 14, 2009; Status: Ravenously Rambunctious

I just saw the new Spider movie. I'm fairly sure the main character is supposed to be Newspaper Spidey: He keeps screwing up, makes boneheaded moves and gets beaten on by random dudes (even after he just fought Captain America last movie).

In fact, we may have found the new "Brick to the head" moment in it when Peter jumps head first into the roof of a van and gets a concussion

# ? Jul 6, 2017 18:11

jng2058: Jul 17, 2010; We have the tools, we have the talent!

"When in doubt, cause MAXIMUM PROPERTY DAMAGE!"

Oh, Peter. :doh:

# ? Jul 6, 2017 18:16

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

evilmiera posted:

I just saw the new Spider movie. I'm fairly sure the main character is supposed to be Newspaper Spidey: He keeps screwing up, makes boneheaded moves and gets beaten on by random dudes (even after he just fought Captain America last movie).

In fact, we may have found the new "Brick to the head" moment in it when Peter jumps head first into the roof of a van and gets a concussion

So basically this?

# ? Jul 6, 2017 18:38

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

evilmiera posted:

I just saw the new Spider movie. I'm fairly sure the main character is supposed to be Newspaper Spidey: He keeps screwing up, makes boneheaded moves and gets beaten on by random dudes (even after he just fought Captain America last movie).

In fact, we may have found the new "Brick to the head" moment in it when Peter jumps head first into the roof of a van and gets a concussion

He's a Literal Child, though, unlike Newspaper Spidey who is ostensibly a grown-rear end man.

# ? Jul 6, 2017 18:39

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

I think Newspaper-Spidey doesn't know why he does anything any more. He's realised he's in a comic, and wants to see how the writers fix whatever stupid thing he does next.

# ? Jul 6, 2017 18:49

gimme the GOD DAMN candy: Jul 1, 2007

Push El Burrito posted:

Whatever a spider can.

holy poo poo, spiders can steal fire escapes?

# ? Jul 6, 2017 18:50

Push El Burrito: May 9, 2006; Soiled Meat

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

holy poo poo, spiders can steal fire escapes?

It's the #1 cause of fire escape disappearances.

#2 is "ghosts?"

# ? Jul 6, 2017 19:04

Kurui Reiten: Apr 24, 2010

Push El Burrito posted:

#2 is "ghosts?"

(secretly, still spiders)

# ? Jul 6, 2017 21:31

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Spider ghosts? :ghost:

# ? Jul 6, 2017 21:33

Shaddak: Nov 13, 2011

Haifisch posted:

Spider ghosts?

Spider-ghost,
Spider-ghost,
Does whatever we hate the most.

# ? Jul 6, 2017 22:01

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

Wasn't there a poster called Ghost Spider or something, or maybe he just had a ghost spider from space as his avatar.

E:

Lurdiak fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Jul 6, 2017

# ? Jul 6, 2017 22:13

ColdPie: Jun 9, 2006

Johnny Walker posted:

I'm surprised they have a letterer more than anything.

If you look close, you can see each letter is unique, so it's hand-drawn instead of being a font. It always annoys me when I see "hand drawn" text where you can clearly tell it's a font. I think it's super neat to see the real thing, you don't see it often.

# ? Jul 6, 2017 23:02

Zeeman: May 8, 2007; Say WHAT?! You KNOW that post is wack, homie!

I genuinely don't know if I've ever anticipated the next update of something more than now

# ? Jul 6, 2017 23:07

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

or you could hide indoors? :|

# ? Jul 7, 2017 01:19

Haifisch: Nov 13, 2010; Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!; Taco Defender

Or use a pre-existing pile of rubble? Or just flee down an alleyway?

I think Peter just wanted an excuse to wreck something.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 01:22

Begemot: Oct 14, 2012; The One True Oden

Pete spends so much time swinging and crawling on the outside of buildings he forgot you could go inside them.

There's no other possible explanation!

# ? Jul 7, 2017 01:31

Manatee Cannon: Aug 26, 2010

what no peter that's not even good cover

you can see through it man. it would have been more effective if you didn't tie it in a knot

# ? Jul 7, 2017 01:51

uPen: Jan 25, 2010; Zu Rodina!

But... why?

# ? Jul 7, 2017 01:55

Section Z: Oct 1, 2008; Wait, this is the Moon.
How did I even get here?; Pillbug

uPen posted:

But... why?

That's very simple.

It's to remind us all there are people dumber than Newspaper Spider-Man.

I mean, they did fall for it.

_{Guy reading this thread who is secretly the author, Cops turn around and ask why Spidey ever thought it would work by Sunday, TIA}

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:31

Kurui Reiten: Apr 24, 2010

Section Z posted:

_{Guy reading this thread who is secretly the author, Cops turn around and ask why Spidey ever thought it would work by Sunday, TIA}

No. They drive back, get out of the cars, and say "Hello, nice folks, pleasant weather today. Have you seen a lost armadillo, about this high? Little Susie lost it, and she's just torn up about it. Says it saw an ant, and just about went nuts trying to eat it, like some sort of ant eating creature. If you see it, could you let us know? We're trying to get it back to her unharmed, it would really make her day. Thanks, Ms, Ma'am, Sir, and your special needs nephew."

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:45

Lurdiak: Feb 26, 2006; I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.

Synthbuttrange posted:

or you could hide indoors? :|

It's better than I could've hoped.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 02:51

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

I...

that's even stupider than what I was expecting, and I wasn't expecting anything.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:07

The Unnamed One: Jan 13, 2012; "BOOM!"

Hi everyone, just dropping in to say:

... I love this goddamn comic/thread

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:08

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Malachite_Dragon posted:

I... that's even stupider than what I was expecting, and I wasn't expecting anything.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:22

X-O: Apr 28, 2002; Long Live The King!

Maybe we should just call it a thread and gold mine this now. Not sure it's getting better than that.

Though we've said that how many times now?

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:24

Synthbuttrange: May 6, 2007

Times it's been said this thread off the top of my head:

Pete and Scott had to take the subway.
Pete got into a fight with a spider.
Ronan eating everything in a diner.
Rocket going nude.
Rocket eating trash in the nude.
Pete gluing himself to Ronan.
Pete getting crushed by Ronan.
MJ becoming a slaveowner.
Pete using a dead stiff Ronan as cover.
Ronan being stuffed into a way too small spaceship.
Moleman being a huge goon
ARMADILLOGEDDON

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:28

Otherkinsey Scale: Jul 17, 2012; Just a little bit of sunshine!

So that fight caused so much collateral damage that the police can't possibly search every pile of debris large enough to trap a group of people?

Is Zack Snyder guest writing?

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:34

Kurui Reiten: Apr 24, 2010

There still hasn't been anything as dumb as "BOTH THEIR MOTHERS ARE NAMED MARTHA", so no.

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:50

bunnyofdoom: Mar 29, 2008; I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad!

Synthbuttrange posted:

Times it's been said this thread off the top of my head:

Pete and Scott had to take the subway.
Pete got into a fight with a spider.
Ronan eating everything in a diner.
Rocket going nude.
Rocket eating trash in the nude.
Pete gluing himself to Ronan.
Pete getting crushed by Ronan.
MJ becoming a slaveowner.
Pete using a dead stiff Ronan as cover.
Ronan being stuffed into a way too small spaceship.
Moleman being a huge goon
ARMADILLOGEDDON

Don't forget the many threesome edits

# ? Jul 7, 2017 03:53