Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

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Valiantman: Jun 25, 2011; Ways to circumvent the Compact #6: Find a dreaming god and affect his dreams so that they become reality. Hey, it's not like it's you who's affecting the world. Blame the other guy for irresponsibly falling asleep.

Public Serpent posted:

Got baptized today

And they let my kid ring the church bell!

Welcome to the family!

# ? Jul 8, 2017 22:28

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# ? May 23, 2024 17:58

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

Many years, many years!

To be fair, I don't know the significance of the saying, but it seems a Christgoon thing to say.

# ? Jul 8, 2017 22:40

WerrWaaa: Nov 5, 2008; I can make all your dreams come true.

Welcome to the family!

At today's Bishop's consecration, the procession included Chinese dragon dancers, Korean drummers, and a mariachi band. The Lord's Prayer was sung to the toon of The Sound of Silence, in Spanish no less! <3 LA

# ? Jul 9, 2017 00:23

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

So do yall like Hildegard Von Bingen? Of course you do! So have some Swedish folk musicians interpret it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBWJhq5LcII

WerrWaaa posted:

Welcome to the family!

At today's Bishop's consecration, the procession included Chinese dragon dancers, Korean drummers, and a mariachi band. The Lord's Prayer was sung to the toon of The Sound of Silence, in Spanish no less! <3 LA

That sounds amazing!

# ? Jul 9, 2017 16:09

Caufman: May 7, 2007

Public Serpent posted:

Got baptized today

And they let my kid ring the church bell!

By the divinity of Jesus anointed, you have been indelibly immersed in the Holy Spirit, permanently living with God within you.

I praise you, because the newest will be first and the oldest will be last.

Public Serpent is a clever username, too.

edit: How was your baptism in water performed? Baptism is the one sacrament I've received that I have no memory of :can:

Caufman fucked around with this message at 23:46 on Jul 9, 2017

# ? Jul 9, 2017 23:44

StashAugustine: Mar 24, 2013; Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

saint of the day: https://aleteia.org/2017/07/06/he-was-an-opium-addict-who-couldnt-receive-the-sacraments-but-hes-a-martyr-and-a-saint/

# ? Jul 10, 2017 01:59

Thirteen Orphans: Dec 2, 2012; I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you.

StashAugustine posted:

saint of the day: https://aleteia.org/2017/07/06/he-was-an-opium-addict-who-couldnt-receive-the-sacraments-but-hes-a-martyr-and-a-saint/

I need an icon of St. Ji. What a powerful witness.

# ? Jul 10, 2017 02:30

The Phlegmatist: Nov 24, 2003

I'm still waiting on Ven. Matt Talbot's canonization.

Really I think we need more saints who lived holy (but otherwise not particularly extraordinary) lives as exemplars of what the universal call to holiness entails. Especially women. Like, I don't really think there are any female saints who were not virgins, martyrs, part of a religious order or were canonized because their kids were saints?

# ? Jul 10, 2017 05:21

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

The Phlegmatist posted:

I'm still waiting on Ven. Matt Talbot's canonization.

Really I think we need more saints who lived holy (but otherwise not particularly extraordinary) lives as exemplars of what the universal call to holiness entails. Especially women. Like, I don't really think there are any female saints who were not virgins, martyrs, part of a religious order or were canonized because their kids were saints?

there were the ones who were raped but ok with it, and the ones who allowed themselves to die in childbirth, but were ok with it

# ? Jul 10, 2017 12:19

Pershing: Feb 21, 2010; John "Black Jack" Pershing
Hard Fucking Core

StashAugustine posted:

saint of the day: https://aleteia.org/2017/07/06/he-was-an-opium-addict-who-couldnt-receive-the-sacraments-but-hes-a-martyr-and-a-saint/

I wonder if this was the inspiration for the Dr. Won character in the Boxers and Saints graphic novels (a great read, btw)

# ? Jul 10, 2017 13:40

Public Serpent: Oct 13, 2012; Buglord

Thanks for the kind words of welcome :tipshat:

Caufman posted:

edit: How was your baptism in water performed? Baptism is the one sacrament I've received that I have no memory of

Affusion. Infant baptism is the norm here as well, but my parents were filthy freethinkers so I'm late to the party.

# ? Jul 10, 2017 13:43

The Phlegmatist: Nov 24, 2003

A camp staffer at a Christian summer camp in Colorado received medical care after he was made awake early Sunday by a bear chewing on his head.

drat it bro, we warned you about making fun of Elisha bro

# ? Jul 10, 2017 15:15

StashAugustine: Mar 24, 2013; Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

The Phlegmatist posted:

I'm still waiting on Ven. Matt Talbot's canonization.

Really I think we need more saints who lived holy (but otherwise not particularly extraordinary) lives as exemplars of what the universal call to holiness entails. Especially women. Like, I don't really think there are any female saints who were not virgins, martyrs, part of a religious order or were canonized because their kids were saints?

Hey now theres uh a couple queens I guess? St. Monica deserves a little more credit than that tho

(Canonize Dorothy Day)

# ? Jul 10, 2017 19:25

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

The Phlegmatist posted:

I'm still waiting on Ven. Matt Talbot's canonization.

Really I think we need more saints who lived holy (but otherwise not particularly extraordinary) lives as exemplars of what the universal call to holiness entails. Especially women. Like, I don't really think there are any female saints who were not virgins, martyrs, part of a religious order or were canonized because their kids were saints?

There's a ton of female saints who are not martyrs or the mothers of other saints. Though I admit most of them were in some sort of religious order. But then, I guess the majority of male saints aren't lay people either.

Saint Cunigunde was an empress who fits your criteria. Saint Elizabeth of Hungary / Thuringia was a local lord's wife who is known for taking care of the poor:

And obviously thread favorite Olga of Kiev fits your criteria too:

If you exclude all women who are saints and who are
- martyrs
- noblewomen or female rulers
- members of a religious order
- saints for something relating to their motherhood,
then I can't really think of any, though I'm sure there are some. Though to be fair if you count out
- martyrs
- rulers
- priests and religious
- parents of saints
you'll decimate the male saints too.

# ? Jul 10, 2017 21:20

System Metternich: Feb 28, 2010; But what did he mean by that?

One of my local saints, Radegundis of Wellenburg (~1270-1300), would fit those criteria. She was working as a maidservant at Wellenburg Castle west of Augsburg and used her free time to care for the poor, washing them and secretly bringing them the castle's leftovers. Once she was stopped by her lord, who had grown suspicious and wanted to see what she was carrying in her bag, but the milk and butter she had been carrying had miraculously turned into soap and a comb instead.

One day, while again going to the poorhouse, Radegundis was attacked and killed by two wolves. Her lord wanted to bury his servant, who had been immensely popular with the common people, in his family's crypt, but the horses carrying her remains suddenly stopped on the way and absolutely refused to go on. The faithful saw this as a sign that God intended her to be laid to rest elsewhere, and indeed when two oxen were put in front of the carriage and let wander around with no guidance, they brought her back to the same poorhouse she had cared for while alive. The chapel that was erected there to house her bones had to be torn down in 1810, though, and since then her relics are venerated in Waldberg near Augsburg.

The sacred remains of St Radegundis.

Interestingly, there's at least three other saints - two in Austria/Bavaria and one in Italy - with nearly identical hagiographies: they all were maidservants in the employ of a local lord, they all cared for the poor, and in all cases there were similar miracles of food turning into something else when controlled by their suspicious masters as well as their remains having to be buried at a different place than originally planned. They're called St Gunthildis of Suffersheim, St Notburga of Rattenberg and St Zita of Lucca (who was also venerated in Great Britain under the name of St Sitha). Those commonalities are explained with a common core (the early legend of St Gunthildis) being spread throughout the lands via the spread out territories of a specific Bavarian noble house and later superimposed as hagiographies onto the lives of other pious maidservants whose original biography was forgotten in favour of the imported legend.

St Zita is also one of the saints whose bodies didn't rot away, and so her mummified remnants can still be venerated today:

Finally there's the only recently canonised St Anna Schäffer (1882-1925), a maidservant of Mindelstetten, Bavaria. Her biography is totally different from those I detailed above, of course.

# ? Jul 11, 2017 08:12

WerrWaaa: Nov 5, 2008; I can make all your dreams come true.

This weekend I will set about the beginning stages of building a simple kneeler for my home, and want to add some flourishes. To this, where do you buy incense for home prayer? What's your favorite burning device? Lacking funds for proper icons, I will likely print a few, so: PYF Icons.

# ? Jul 11, 2017 19:47

Numerical Anxiety: Sep 2, 2011; Hello.

I was alway fond of the iconic rendering of Constantine V:

# ? Jul 11, 2017 19:59

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

System Metternich posted:

One of my local saints, Radegundis of Wellenburg (~1270-1300), would fit those criteria. She was working as a maidservant at Wellenburg Castle west of Augsburg and used her free time to care for the poor, washing them and secretly bringing them the castle's leftovers. Once she was stopped by her lord, who had grown suspicious and wanted to see what she was carrying in her bag, but the milk and butter she had been carrying had miraculously turned into soap and a comb instead.

One day, while again going to the poorhouse, Radegundis was attacked and killed by two wolves. Her lord wanted to bury his servant, who had been immensely popular with the common people, in his family's crypt, but the horses carrying her remains suddenly stopped on the way and absolutely refused to go on. The faithful saw this as a sign that God intended her to be laid to rest elsewhere, and indeed when two oxen were put in front of the carriage and let wander around with no guidance, they brought her back to the same poorhouse she had cared for while alive. The chapel that was erected there to house her bones had to be torn down in 1810, though, and since then her relics are venerated in Waldberg near Augsburg.

The sacred remains of St Radegundis.

Interestingly, there's at least three other saints - two in Austria/Bavaria and one in Italy - with nearly identical hagiographies: they all were maidservants in the employ of a local lord, they all cared for the poor, and in all cases there were similar miracles of food turning into something else when controlled by their suspicious masters as well as their remains having to be buried at a different place than originally planned. They're called St Gunthildis of Suffersheim, St Notburga of Rattenberg and St Zita of Lucca (who was also venerated in Great Britain under the name of St Sitha). Those commonalities are explained with a common core (the early legend of St Gunthildis) being spread throughout the lands via the spread out territories of a specific Bavarian noble house and later superimposed as hagiographies onto the lives of other pious maidservants whose original biography was forgotten in favour of the imported legend.

St Zita is also one of the saints whose bodies didn't rot away, and so her mummified remnants can still be venerated today:

Finally there's the only recently canonised St Anna Schäffer (1882-1925), a maidservant of Mindelstetten, Bavaria. Her biography is totally different from those I detailed above, of course.

That's extremely awesome.

# ? Jul 11, 2017 20:01

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

WerrWaaa posted:

This weekend I will set about the beginning stages of building a simple kneeler for my home, and want to add some flourishes. To this, where do you buy incense for home prayer? What's your favorite burning device? Lacking funds for proper icons, I will likely print a few, so: PYF Icons.

I make a lot of my own incense, so if you're interested in a little crafts project you can make amazing, thickly smouldering incense with very few steps:

1. Gather traditionally cleansing herbs, I recommend a thin outer branch of any cedar species as the basis. I can read my way into seeing that the states has eastern red cedar and mountain cedar growing wild, but a lot of other kinds are cultivated, traditionally near cemetaries, but also all over town nowadays. Add to that any of: Mugwort/Common Wormwood, regular sage, white sage or pine.

2. Get some broidering thread(ideally, I guess thick sewing wool may work).

3. Lay the other herbs around the main stem, lay the length of thread behind the bottom of the stem, then fold the ends over each side and slightly upwards, repeat until you have rolled the stick all the way to the end, then cross over and tie them down across the first loops you made, and tie them tightly around the bottom again in a knot. Cut off the ends, and you have fresh incense that will burn neatly and strongly with a good smolder :eng101:

# ? Jul 11, 2017 21:28

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

WerrWaaa posted:

This weekend I will set about the beginning stages of building a simple kneeler for my home, and want to add some flourishes. To this, where do you buy incense for home prayer? What's your favorite burning device? Lacking funds for proper icons, I will likely print a few, so: PYF Icons.

https://www.holycross-hermitage.com/collections/incense

# ? Jul 11, 2017 21:33

WerrWaaa: Nov 5, 2008; I can make all your dreams come true.

Tias posted:

I make a lot of my own incense, so if you're interested in a little crafts project you can make amazing, thickly smouldering incense with very few steps:

1. Gather traditionally cleansing herbs, I recommend a thin outer branch of any cedar species as the basis. I can read my way into seeing that the states has eastern red cedar and mountain cedar growing wild, but a lot of other kinds are cultivated, traditionally near cemetaries, but also all over town nowadays. Add to that any of: Mugwort/Common Wormwood, regular sage, white sage or pine.

2. Get some broidering thread(ideally, I guess thick sewing wool may work).

3. Lay the other herbs around the main stem, lay the length of thread behind the bottom of the stem, then fold the ends over each side and slightly upwards, repeat until you have rolled the stick all the way to the end, then cross over and tie them down across the first loops you made, and tie them tightly around the bottom again in a knot. Cut off the ends, and you have fresh incense that will burn neatly and strongly with a good smolder

This is very hard for me to imagine.

# ? Jul 11, 2017 21:37

Thirteen Orphans: Dec 2, 2012; I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you.

WerrWaaa posted:

This weekend I will set about the beginning stages of building a simple kneeler for my home, and want to add some flourishes. To this, where do you buy incense for home prayer? What's your favorite burning device? Lacking funds for proper icons, I will likely print a few, so: PYF Icons.

I am particularly fond of this Hagia Hesychia, Jesus Christ Holy Silence:

# ? Jul 11, 2017 21:40

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

WerrWaaa posted:

This is very hard for me to imagine.

Here's an example of someone making an extremely rough, broad stick: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csSr0KpIIC4

If you're making longer, thinner sticks like me, you just tie the thread neater. Even if you just experiment, you should be able to work out a good cross knot on your own just messing around with it.

# ? Jul 11, 2017 21:41

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

WerrWaaa posted:

This weekend I will set about the beginning stages of building a simple kneeler for my home, and want to add some flourishes. To this, where do you buy incense for home prayer?

i burn stick incense because it's easier to use in a home setting than grain incense and charcoal. I like shoyeido, and the last boxes i bought were Peace and Hope, because I really enjoy the smell of frankincense
http://www.shoyeido.com/

# ? Jul 11, 2017 21:53

Thirteen Orphans: Dec 2, 2012; I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist and a theoretical philosopher. But above all, I am a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man, just like you.

I actually really love incense because I am allergic to ~95% of perfumes, ~70% of colognes, glade plug-ins and air fresheners in general, so good pure incense is the only smell-good I can be around and breathe. :blush:

# ? Jul 11, 2017 22:08

Smoking Crow: Feb 14, 2012; *laughs at u*

# ? Jul 11, 2017 22:21

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Numerical Anxiety posted:

I was alway fond of the iconic rendering of Constantine V:

# ? Jul 12, 2017 01:30

Ossipago: Nov 14, 2012; Muldoon

Can anyone recommend a good book on Francis Xavier, specifically his time in Japan?

# ? Jul 12, 2017 05:35

Valiantman: Jun 25, 2011; Ways to circumvent the Compact #6: Find a dreaming god and affect his dreams so that they become reality. Hey, it's not like it's you who's affecting the world. Blame the other guy for irresponsibly falling asleep.

Smoking Crow posted:

To think of it, He didn't stop me from stubbing my toe last week either.

Is that Constantine V thing a joke flying over my head? I only see a blank white square instead of an image.

Edit: Ohhhh! (Google is my friend and really is offering a CK2 portrait as a default image. :lol:

)

Valiantman fucked around with this message at 07:29 on Jul 12, 2017

# ? Jul 12, 2017 07:21

Pershing: Feb 21, 2010; John "Black Jack" Pershing
Hard Fucking Core

Pope Francis recognizes a fourth path to canonization.

...formalizing the idea of 'Martyrs of Charity'.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 02:17

CountFosco: Jan 9, 2012; Welcome back to the Liturgigoon thread, friend.

Visited a Coptic church service for the first time last Sunday while I was traveling, it was a good experience! It was interesting to see something like passing the piece in an orthodox liturgy, the Russians don't seem to do that (in my limited experience). After the liturgy, I joined the pretty large group for coffee hour and had really nice conversations with many of them, they were quite welcoming and made an effort to be inclusive.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 12:01

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

CountFosco posted:

Visited a Coptic church service for the first time last Sunday while I was traveling, it was a good experience! It was interesting to see something like passing the piece in an orthodox liturgy, the Russians don't seem to do that (in my limited experience). After the liturgy, I joined the pretty large group for coffee hour and had really nice conversations with many of them, they were quite welcoming and made an effort to be inclusive.

copts are goddamn pro as hell, super chill

in germany and england i keep seeing ethiopians and i wanna know where they go to church and go with them....

# ? Jul 13, 2017 13:51

pidan: Nov 6, 2012

HEY GAIL posted:

copts are goddamn pro as hell, super chill

in germany and england i keep seeing ethiopians and i wanna know where they go to church and go with them....

There's an Ethiopian church very near my house but I don't know how they feel about whitey checking them out and I don't have a white scarf either.

There's a Chinese evangelical church even closer, but I feel weird about going for the same reason, and my boyfriend refuses to come with.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 14:33

JcDent: May 13, 2013; Give me a rifle, one round, and point me at Berlin!

Aren't evalngelicals one of the "why we can't have nice things anymore" protestant branches anyways? :v:

# ? Jul 13, 2017 18:25

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

pidan posted:

There's an Ethiopian church very near my house but I don't know how they feel about whitey checking them out and I don't have a white scarf either.

There's a Chinese evangelical church even closer, but I feel weird about going for the same reason, and my boyfriend refuses to come with.

Try, man. Just ask them. Hell, my circle is a bunch of tattooed straight white cis people with colossal beards, and we welcome any nationality or persuasion who wants to enter, barring a few exceptions having mainly to do with disruptive behaviour.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 18:27

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

JcDent posted:

Aren't evalngelicals one of the "why we can't have nice things anymore" protestant branches anyways?

They can be. I've ceased trying to explain to most people that I agree with the core Evangelical theology and beliefs, but I'm socially and religiously liberal and absolutely not a fundamentalist or politically conservative.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 18:34

HEY GUNS: Oct 11, 2012; FOPTIMUS PRIME

pidan posted:

There's an Ethiopian church very near my house but I don't know how they feel about whitey checking them out and I don't have a white scarf either.

There's a Chinese evangelical church even closer, but I feel weird about going for the same reason, and my boyfriend refuses to come with.

from what i have seen in photos of ethiopians and (sometimes) egyptians going to church, if you don't have white robes and scarves i have seen people just wearing the palest clothes they happened to have

# ? Jul 13, 2017 18:46

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Cythereal posted:

They can be. I've ceased trying to explain to most people that I agree with the core Evangelical theology and beliefs, but I'm socially and religiously liberal and absolutely not a fundamentalist or politically conservative.

Would you enlighten a complete evangelical noob what the core beliefs are? My knowledge extends no further than wikipedia and 'self-declared evangelicals in USA are insane' : /

# ? Jul 13, 2017 18:53

Disinterested: Jun 29, 2011; You look like you're still raking it in. Still killing 'em?

Tias posted:

Would you enlighten a complete evangelical noob what the core beliefs are? My knowledge extends no further than wikipedia and 'self-declared evangelicals in USA are insane' : /

Don't worry they are elsewhere too.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 18:54

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# ? May 23, 2024 17:58

Tias: May 25, 2008; Pictured: the patron saint of internet political arguments (probably)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Yeah yeah, okay. To clarify, I am not going to argue about their beliefs or anything with you, Cythereal, I only want to learn what they're about compared to other sects.

# ? Jul 13, 2017 18:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Christianity Thread II: Y'all need Jesus

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