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89 posted:Honestly, I don't know how these athletes can consume so much alcohol and still look like Gods amongst men. I can't hardly touch any without it making me fat. Bastards. CAlorie burning all day. I have twin four year old boys, consume about 2000 calories of alcohol a day, and still rock a pretty firm dadbod thanks to my insanely frustrating regimen of "Constantly running and yelling during every waking minute"
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Jul 15, 2017 00:29
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Fish bowl is officially a go. We have 36 teams in the league, but we are taking on expansion teams. If we get just 7 more expansion teams, we can add them all and have 48 total teams! https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3825569 EDIT: We only need 4 more expansion teams to sign up. With a week left, I'm certain this division will fire. So  now, rather than later because this will fill up.
Drunk Nerds fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Jul 16, 2017 |
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Jul 16, 2017 03:13
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Cody Latimer pepper-sprayed after slapping a bouncer at a strip club in Dayton, Ohio because he was refused entry after failing to meet the dress code. Latimer was attending the strip club with his uncle (who was knocked out in the altercation). There's a video. I feel like there's a lot to unpack here.
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Jul 16, 2017 16:59
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Forever_Peace posted:Cody Latimer pepper-sprayed after slapping a bouncer at a strip club in Dayton, Ohio because he was refused entry after failing to meet the dress code. Latimer was attending the strip club with his uncle (who was knocked out in the altercation). cue Cecil Lammey telling us that this is the year Latimer breaks out (of jail) Veritek83 fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Jul 16, 2017 |
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Jul 16, 2017 17:00
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Veritek83 posted:cue Cecil Lammey telling us that this is the year Latimer breaks out (of jail) "He's playing angry this year"
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Jul 16, 2017 17:09
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I love how feisty his uncle is in that clip. Sees his nephew get hit and goes at a dude twice his size with 110% effort... until he gets knocked on his rear end. A+ uncle. In other news, so much for Lamar Miller's backup: Rotoworld posted:Texans third-round RB D'Onta Foreman was arrested for marijuana possession and unlawful carrying of a weapon in Austin early Sunday morning.
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Jul 16, 2017 20:33
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Tyler Ervin hype train let's do this
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Jul 16, 2017 21:34
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Veritek83 posted:cue Cecil Lammey telling us that this is the year Latimer breaks out (of jail) New thread title please.
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Jul 16, 2017 22:50
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Here's an extremely vague and poorly-sourced allegation that Zeke may have been involved in a fight at a club last night (there's a rumor he punched the DJ). I dunno the offseason sucks and maybe Zeke needs to take a chill pill and not do dumb things for a while.
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Jul 17, 2017 14:54
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D'Onta Foreman can't make $4500 bail?
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Jul 17, 2017 20:38
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Lamar Miller should bail him out, be like "your rear end belongs to me, now," and spend the next few months straightening him out. You know, like if this wasn't a world where everything always turns out awful.
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Jul 17, 2017 21:14
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all teams need to assign rookies into some kind of a buddy system with a respected veteran to (attempt to) teach them not to do stupid poo poo
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Jul 17, 2017 21:16
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Bring back Fall Guys.
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Jul 17, 2017 22:15
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I'm throwing in a plug for the SAS dynasty league - we need one more player for our 7th season and are starting our rookie draft this week. Check the thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3825100
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Jul 18, 2017 00:01
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https://twitter.com/CDCarter13/status/886942306510700551
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Jul 18, 2017 00:08
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 I love Denny
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Jul 18, 2017 00:10
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Alucard posted:I'm throwing in a plug for the SAS dynasty league - we need one more player for our 7th season and are starting our rookie draft this week. Check the thread: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3825100 This is a good league you should join. The goons that run it are awesome, contract leagues are dope, and the team you're inheriting (Beer's old team) has David Johnson on a long contract.
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Jul 18, 2017 01:19
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I might be interested, I'll.look when I get home if no one has stepped up
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Jul 18, 2017 01:50
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Teemu Pokemon posted:I might be interested, I'll.look when I get home if no one has stepped up Trigger warning: team also has Travis Kelce
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Jul 18, 2017 02:21
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Below market value or on some dumb contract because if so, if I take over first thing I'm doing is trading his rear end
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Jul 18, 2017 02:23
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this is the year for josh gordon
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Jul 18, 2017 02:33
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Oh hai goons, it's that time of year where I see if anyone here wants to take over one of my league's castoff teams! It's a 16 team dynasty league with IDPs. Here be the rules. Entry is free (this year, next year you can chip in a couple of bucks to cover league fees), but we all play like our waifus' honors are on the line. 20 keepers + up to 4 team squad selections (so basically 24 players). Keeper selection deadline is up to one week after you take over the team, but preferably ASAP. Slow/email draft will be one week after that. Email me at morilikescookies at the all seeing google email domain dot com if interested, post here if you have questions and/or want to make fun of my choice in MFL skins/layouts.
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Jul 18, 2017 04:50
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https://twitter.com/ScottBarrettDFB/status/887108247836119040 Just another tidbit proving AJ Green is a total badass. I cannot stop laughing at Tavon Austin being #5 on this list though. Like that just seems cruel to do that to him. loving hell, Rams. How do you take a gadget player you can line up almost anywhere on the field and wind up putting him in so many unwinnable situations?
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Jul 18, 2017 07:51
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AJ Green owns! Also, making me slightly excited about Parker in dynasty, as he really didn't have a bad year for a 2nd year WR.
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Jul 18, 2017 16:09
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Forever_Peace posted:This is a good league you should join. The goons that run it are awesome, contract leagues are dope, and the team you're inheriting (Beer's old team) has David Johnson on a long contract. It's a great league, I just need to cut down.
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Jul 18, 2017 16:19
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I've never done a dynasty league before but I was going to start one with my friends this year. I was planning on doing an auction draft with a salary cap. Is that different from the contract league you are discussing above? Can anyone give me a few bullet points on the difference? Thanks 
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Jul 18, 2017 16:28
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RCarr posted:I've never done a dynasty league before but I was going to start one with my friends this year. I was planning on doing an auction draft with a salary cap. Is that different from the contract league you are discussing above? Can anyone give me a few bullet points on the difference? Thanks Dynasty auctions are rad, but anticipate many hours of drafting. This particular contact league simply imposes time constraints on how long you can keep a player. Rookies all get five year contacts, in season pickups get two year extensions if you want to keep them, and veteran contracts are evenly split between 1, 3, and 5 years. You have one franchise tag you can use to keep an expiring player. Salary cap leagues seem really fun and more strategic. Most leagues impose a conversion of auction values (usually inflating each year), or a pay scale based on performance. It's not uncommon to have a rookie snake draft in subsequent years, with a pay scale based on draft position. You can also combine this with contract years if you want.
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Jul 18, 2017 16:59
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I snatched up the SAS dynasty available btw. SOLELY FOR KELCE
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Jul 18, 2017 17:58
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Another salary cap option is we have contracts you can hold indefinitely. The first three years, contracts increase 10% every year, then an additional 10% of the previous years contract every subsequent year. So year four, contact goes up 20% from the previous year. Year five, 30%. Etc. Etc. There is no rookie draft. It's all under one cap. So value is king and every year you get the joy of free agency spending blitz to shore up your team.
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Jul 18, 2017 18:43
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Speaking of: "I Paid What for Who?," an all-goon 12-team dynasty league entering its third year, needs one more owner. Please post in our thread if you're interested. This is a money league. Dues are about $30 a year; five of that goes to MFL fees, the rest goes into a prize pool. This is the available team. It did... poorly, last year, so you'll be rebuilding for the future, but there are some solid values on the roster so it's not a total disaster. We run using a salary cap: the salaries you see on that page have not yet been increased for 2017, so they'll all be 10% (minimum $1) higher this year, and you have to keep your team under a $250 salary cap. We will be scheduling a snake rookie/free agent draft once we have our replacement owner. We do IDP, no kickers, fractional points, a taxi squad for rookies, FAAB bidding for all free agents during the season with an annual team budget, and we have a famous rules document written by yours truly that exhaustively documents the league rules. We'll be voting on rules changes in the near future as well, so you'll have an opportunity to help shape the league going forwards. This is a pretty fun and chill group with zero drama, and as is typical for Goon-leagues, it's relatively tough compared to playing with pubbie casuals.
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Jul 18, 2017 19:30
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CLIVE WALFORD????? i'm in
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Jul 18, 2017 21:32
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I'm 7500 words into sleeper, breakout, bust for every team and I still have 3 divisions to go lmao I want to die
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Jul 19, 2017 05:38
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related, dez has caught less than 50% of his targets over the last two seasons 
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Jul 19, 2017 05:42
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Spoeank posted:related, dez has caught less than 50% of his targets over the last two seasons Well, look who was throwing to him
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Jul 19, 2017 14:10
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Spoeank posted:related, dez has caught less than 50% of his targets over the last two seasons I hate season long stats, so I dug into his game logs from last year. Dez was absolutely abused in three division games, and he posted sub 30% catch rates four times: twice against the Giants, once against the Eagles at home, and once against the Browns at Cleveland. I might be willing to write that off as being caused by an early season knee injury and chemistry problems with Dak, but it certainly looks like good secondaries had his number. Definitely don't like his early season schedule in that light.
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Jul 19, 2017 15:59
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The following teams took him to 50% or less in 2015 too Seattle TB Miami Carolina Washington Green Bay Jets
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Jul 19, 2017 16:07
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Mashed Dez's last two season per-game averages and made them one 16 game campaign with PFR: 122 tgts, 59 receptions, 871 yards, 8 TDs David Johnson 2016 120 tgts, 80 receptions, 879 yards, 4 TDs Plus all the rushing 
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Jul 19, 2017 16:11
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Just to be clear, we're taking Dez's injury-hobbled 2015 at face value, plus comparing game-by-game catch rates so we can say a 1-5 game is as bad as a 8-10 game is good? He had 1-9 and 4-14 games which were, uh, not good, but otherwise he was either heavily involved and good or not targeted much. Anyway, I know it was just a throwaway stat, but you know comparing a historic season by a three down RB to any outside receiver is going to be a bad comparison. Mike Evans only had a 56% catch rate and needed 50 more targets than DJ to get only 16 more catches. Shocking for a "receiver" to be shown up so badly by a running back!
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Jul 19, 2017 16:47
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subtract catches + drops from targets and you get uncatchable passes. I think that's a worthwhile stat to look at when deciding if a receiver was good or bad.
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Jul 19, 2017 17:39
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Lol I dont actually think Dez is bad I'm just tilting hard from all this writing. Though "you can't take Dez's 2016 stats, he was hurt" And "You can't take Dez's 2015 stats, he was hurt."
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Jul 19, 2017 17:43
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