July 2017 Current Events: Service Guarantees Surgery.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > July 2017 Current Events: Service Guarantees Surgery.

«‹›94 »

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

They can start with everyone in Clarksville.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 01:46

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 15:27

Canemacar: Mar 8, 2008

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

Ahhh, Tennessee.

Though I know plenty of people there who'd be better off with sterilization.

We all do. The thing is, you're not supposed to actually do it. Just like how you want to beat a motherfucker with a tire iron in traffic sometimes.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 01:47

Sunset: Aug 15, 2005

Mr. Nice! posted:

Police are flat trolling Hansa users:

That date.

What is going on here. How deep is this rabbit hole we're all falling in? I am so confused.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 01:56

CRUSTY MINGE: Mar 30, 2011; Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur

Goddamnit.

Not two minutes after my last post and my brother outside Nashville sends me an ultrasound picture. His third, her fifth.

I mean, congrats to them on making another baby, but drat that timing was coincidental.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:00

Casimir Radon: Aug 2, 2008

LITERALLY SHAKING posted:

Ahhh, Tennessee.

Though I know plenty of people there who'd be better off with sterilization.

My aunt moved there to run out on her bills. Which doesn't seem like something that should be possible in the information age but who knows.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:10

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

https://www.washingtonpost.com/poli...m=.2a32198679e5

quote:

Some of President Trump�s lawyers are exploring ways to limit or undercut special counsel Robert S. Mueller III�s Russia investigation, building a case against what they allege are his conflicts of interest and discussing the president�s authority to grant pardons, according to people familiar with the effort.

Trump has asked his advisers about his power to pardon aides, family members and even himself in connection with the probe, according to one of those people. A second person said Trump�s lawyers have been discussing the president�s pardoning powers among themselves.

Trump�s legal team declined to comment on the issue. But one adviser said the president has simply expressed a curiosity in understanding the reach of his pardoning authority, as well as the limits of Mueller�s investigation.

�This is not in the context of, �I can�t wait to pardon myself,� a close adviser said.

With the Russia investigation continuing to widen, Trump�s lawyers are working to corral the probe and question the propriety of the special counsel�s work. They are actively compiling a list of Mueller�s alleged potential conflicts of interest, which they say could serve as a way to stymie his work, according to several of Trump�s legal advisers.

A conflict of interest is one of the possible grounds that can be cited by an attorney general to remove a special counsel from office under Justice Department regulations that set rules for the job.

The president is also irritated by the notion that Mueller�s probe could reach into his and his family�s finances, advisers said.

Trump has been fuming about the probe in recent weeks as he has been informed about the legal questions that he and his family could face. His primary frustration centers on why allegations that his campaign coordinated with Russia should spread into scrutinizing many years of Trump dealmaking. He has told aides he was especially disturbed after learning Mueller would be able to access several years of his tax returns.

Breaking a tradition that began with President Jimmy Carter, Trump has repeatedly refused to make his tax returns public after first claiming he could not do so because he was under audit or after promising to release them after an IRS audit was completed.

Further adding to the challenges facing Trump�s outside lawyers, the team�s spokesman, Mark Corallo, resigned on Thursday, according to two people familiar with his departure. Corallo did not respond to immediate requests for comment.

�If you�re looking at Russian collusion, the president�s tax returns would be outside that investigation,� said a close adviser to the president.

Jay Sekulow, one of the president�s private lawyers, said in an interview Thursday that the president and his legal team are intent on making sure Mueller stays within the boundaries of his assignment as special counsel. He said they will complain directly to Mueller if necessary.

�The fact is that the president is concerned about conflicts that exist within the special counsel�s office and any changes in the scope of the investigation,� Sekulow said. �The scope is going to have to stay within his mandate. If there�s drifting, we�re going to object.�

Sekulow cited Bloomberg News reports that Mueller is scrutinizing some of Trump�s business dealings, including a Russian oligarch who purchased a Palm Beach mansion from Trump for $95 million in 2008.

�They�re talking about real estate transactions in Palm Beach several years ago,� Sekulow said. �In our view, this is far outside the scope of a legitimate investigation.�

The president has long called the FBI investigation into his campaign�s possible coordination with the Russians a �witch hunt.� But now, the president is coming face-to-face with a powerful investigative team that is able to study evidence of any crime they encounter in the probe � including tax fraud, lying to federal agents and interference in the investigation.

�This is Ken Starr times 1,000,� said one lawyer involved in the case, referring to the independent counsel who oversaw an investigation that eventually led to House impeachment proceedings against President Bill Clinton. �Of course, it�s going to go into his finances.�

Following Trump�s decision to fire FBI Director James B. Comey � in part because of his displeasure with the FBI�s Russia investigation � Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein appointed Mueller as special counsel in a written order. That order gave Mueller broad authority to investigate links between the Russian government and the Trump campaign, as well as �any matters that arose or may arise directly from the investigation� and any crimes committed in response to the investigation, such as perjury or obstruction of justice.

Mueller�s probe has already expanded to include an examination of whether Trump obstructed justice in his dealings with Comey, as well as the business activities of Jared Kushner, Trump�s son-in-law.

Trump�s team could potentially challenge whether a broad probe of Trump�s finances prior to his candidacy could be considered a matter that arose �directly� from an inquiry into possible collusion with a foreign government.

The president�s legal team has also identified what they allege are several conflicts of interest facing Mueller, such as donations to Democrats by some of his prosecutors.

Another potential conflict claim is an allegation that Mueller and Trump National Golf Club in Northern Virginia had a dispute over membership fees when Mueller resigned as a member in 2011, two White House advisers said. A spokesman for Mueller said there was no dispute when Mueller, who was FBI director at the time, left the club.

Trump also took public aim on Wednesday at Attorney General Jeff Sessions and Rosenstein, whose actions led to Mueller�s appointment. In an interview with the New York Times Wednesday, the president said he never would have hired Sessions if he knew he was going to recuse himself from the case.

Some Republicans in frequent touch with the White House said they viewed the president�s decision to publicly air his disappointment with Sessions as a warning sign that the attorney general�s days were numbered. Several senior aides were described as �stunned� when Sessions announced Thursday morning he would stay on at the Justice Department.

Another Republican in touch with the administration described the public steps as part of a broader effort aimed at �laying the groundwork to fire� Mueller.

�Who attacks their entire Justice Department?� this person said. �It�s insane.�

Law enforcement officials described Sessions as increasingly distant from the White House and the FBI because of the strains of the Russia investigation.

Traditionally, Justice Department leaders have sought to maintain a certain degree of autonomy from the White House as a means of ensuring prosecutorial independence.

But Sessions�s situation is more unusual, law enforcement officials said, because he has angered the president for apparently being too independent while also angering many at the FBI for his role in the president�s firing of Comey.

As a result, there is far less communication among those three key parts of the government than in years past, several officials said.

Currently, the discussions of pardoning authority by Trump�s legal team is purely theoretical, according to two people familiar with the ongoing conversations. But if Trump pardoned himself in the face of the ongoing Mueller investigation, it would set off a legal and political firestorm, first around the question of whether a president can use the constitutional pardon power in that way.

�This is a fiercely debated but unresolved legal question,� said Brian C. Kalt, a constitutional law expert at Michigan State University who has written extensively on the question.

The power to pardon is granted to the president in Article II, Section 2, of the Constitution, which gives the commander in chief the power to �grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offences against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.� That means pardon authority extends to federal criminal prosecution but not to state level or impeachment inquiries.

No president has sought to pardon himself, so no courts have reviewed it. Although Kalt says the weight of the law argues against a president pardoning himself, he says the question is open and predicts such an action would move through the courts all the way to the Supreme Court.

�There is no predicting what would happen,� said Kalt, author of the book, �Constitutional Cliffhangers: A Legal Guide for Presidents and Their Enemies.� It includes chapters on the ongoing debate over whether presidents can be prosecuted while in office and on whether a president can issue a pardon to himself.

On Monday, lawyer Ty Cobb, newly brought into the White House to handle responses to the Russian probe, convened a meeting with the president and his team of lawyers, according to two people briefed on the meeting. Cobb, who is not yet on the White House payroll, was described as attempting to instill some discipline in how the White House handles queries about the case. But Trump surprised many of his aides by speaking at length about the probe to the New York Times two days later.

Some note that the Constitution does not explicitly prohibit a president from pardoning himself. On the other side, experts say that by definition a pardon is something you can only give to someone else. There is also a common-law canon that prohibits individuals from serving as a judge in their own case. �For example, we would not allow a judge to preside over his or her own trial,� Kalt said.

A president can pardon an individual at any point, including before being charged with a crime, and the scope of a presidential pardon can be very broad. President Gerald Ford pardoned former president Richard M. Nixon preemptively for offenses he �committed or may have committed� while in office.

Devlin Barrett and Sari Horwitz contributed to this report.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:13

Suicide Watch: Sep 8, 2009

With bitcoin getting hit, do you think gold will make a return?

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:14

Professor Bling: Nov 12, 2008; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Came to post that article.

poo poo's on fire, yo.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:14

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

Trump is looking at ways to undercut the Russia investigation, possibly including pardoning himself.

Goddamnit EFB

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:14

Nostalgia4Butts: Jun 1, 2006; WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

bitches i even had time to copy and paste in case people got paywalled

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:16

Professor Bling: Nov 12, 2008; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

my push notifications come up slow on my laptop, fite me irl

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:19

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

holy gently caress we're already here

ahahahah

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:21

shyduck: Oct 3, 2003

Must be something very interesting going on with his finances

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:23

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Sure seems upset about those tax returns.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:25

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

If Sessions resigns then Rosenstein becomes the acting AG. And with McCain gone, Republicans can only lose two votes on his replacement.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:27

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

This all reminds me of the time we had a blender in the house and I was too young and stupid to understand what it was, but I was also trying to gently caress everything I could because it was my way in those days, so I hosed that blender, and it was everyone else's fault.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:28

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

bitches i even had time to copy and paste in case people got paywalled

I was drinking whiskey, petting a dog and phone posting all at once. Delay = worth it.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:30

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Do it you pussy

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:32

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

On a scale of 1-10, what is the happening status of the Wapo article? I just want to know exactly how erect I should be in preparation for the follow-on events.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:33

ded: Oct 27, 2005; Kooler than Jesus

He sure is upset for a guy who is innocent.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:36

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

orange juche posted:

On a scale of 1-10, what is the happening status of the Wapo article? I just want to know exactly how erect I should be in preparation for the follow-on events.

Like a 7. Middle School gym short boner levels of erect, because this is all just as embarrassing.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:37

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

God drat I need to catch up on the yospos buttcoin thread, jesus loving christ buttcoins and internet druggies lmao.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:38

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

Mike-o posted:

God drat I need to catch up on the yospos buttcoin thread, jesus loving christ buttcoins and internet druggies lmao.

I'm kinda surprised that there hasn't been a thread in TCC about this; although that forum seems deader than all of the others on account of most its posters being dead.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:44

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Sunset posted:

That date.

What is going on here. How deep is this rabbit hole we're all falling in? I am so confused.

The dutch police had seized the site and ran it for a month collecting info on all the alphabay refugees.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:44

brains: May 12, 2004

shyduck posted:

Must be something very interesting going on with his finances

for real. there's really only one conclusion to draw: his tax returns show something very damaging to him. either direct russian income, or that his net worth is vastly over-estimated. or both.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:51

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Nostalgia4Butts posted:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/poli...m=.2a32198679e5

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:54

Professor Bling: Nov 12, 2008; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

And this comes to us today, on the anniversary of our lunar landing.

I'm sporting a half-chub because I want this to be a thing so goddamned bad

# ? Jul 21, 2017 02:59

BUG JUG: Feb 17, 2005

Help my dick just snapped off in my hand after being hard for the last two weeks. What do?

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:02

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

That statement about Sessions is just loving obscene. It kinda slides under the radar a lot for the weight it has. Mother fucker is straight up saying his appointment to AG is wrong for not interfering with investigating the president. Just flat out says it, giving no fucks and everyone's like "Oh, president is corrupting the institutions of the nation? Huh, must be Thursday" if not outright cheering him on to be a dictator.

Hope the fat fucker blows a god drat gasket in the way only a narcissist with a wounded ego can when his tax records get subpoena'd. Cross that line you orange sack of poo poo. Just do it.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:03

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

The dead man switch for Sessions is Rosenstein, which is hilarious.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:06

M_Gargantua: Oct 16, 2006; STOMP'N ON INTO THE POWERLINES; Exciting Lemon

Speaking of buttcoins a goon whose super into blocks and chains made a goon inspired book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073CPP581/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_XmwCzbV8SWC4J

I have zero idea if it's any good but he published it today/yesterday and it ships next week.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:14

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

M_Gargantua posted:

Speaking of buttcoins a goon whose super into blocks and chains made a goon inspired book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B073CPP581/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_XmwCzbV8SWC4J

I have zero idea if it's any good but he published it today/yesterday and it ships next week.

gently caress yeah I was trying to catch up in the thread and see if that dude finished his book. Totally reading that poo poo. Reading about buttcoins and retarded buttcoiners is my guilty pleasure.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:16

Mike-o: Dec 25, 2004; Now I'm in your room
And I'm in your bed; Grimey Drawer

suboptimal posted:

I'm kinda surprised that there hasn't been a thread in TCC about this; although that forum seems deader than all of the others on account of most its posters being dead.

Honestly I've never read TCC much, do they ever talk about using buttcoins to buy drugs?

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:16

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

suboptimal posted:

I'm kinda surprised that there hasn't been a thread in TCC about this; although that forum seems deader than all of the others on account of most its posters being dead.

I mentioned it in the fairly dead RC thread and found out there was a dedicated discussion thread but it only has two posts. Presumably everyone is too busy studying extradition law and how to escape Mexican prison by sacrificing a "foot finger".

E: Oh yeah the heyday of internet butt drugs was a few years ago but backtrack the OPs to find links to 5 or 6 prior incarnations of the research chemicals, phenazepam, and poppy pod tea threads. Hoooooly poo poo some great reading back there in the archives.

shame on an IGA fucked around with this message at 03:23 on Jul 21, 2017

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:20

Gobbeldygook: May 13, 2009; Hates Native American people and tries to justify their genocides.

Put this racist on ignore immediately!

Mike-o posted:

Honestly I've never read TCC much, do they ever talk about using buttcoins to buy drugs?

Back in the day, there was a TCC-based mailing list used for drug trafficking and threads would fairly explicitly discuss different online drug dealers. A few enterprising goons even sold "bath salts" and spice/k2 in SA Mart. Concerns about SA's legal liability led to a goon setting up Yelp but for internet drug dealers and all discussion was diverted there. Today, TCC has strictly enforced rules about discussing places you can buy drugs online which is why the TCC DNM thread only allows discussion of busted/defunct dark net markets. The major exception is kratom vendor discussion is allowed.

Gobbeldygook fucked around with this message at 03:28 on Jul 21, 2017

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:26

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

BUG JUG posted:

Help my dick just snapped off in my hand after being hard for the last two weeks. What do?

Shoulda called your doctor after 4 hours man :rip:

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:27

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

TCC greatest hits:

RCs 4 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3615954&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

RCs 3 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3464269&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

RCs 2 https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3383425&pagenumber=1&perpage=40#post387183524

Spice megathread https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3355450&pagenumber=1&perpage=40

Phenazepam https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3230894&pagenumber=1&perpage=40#post368653010

Poppy Pods: I can't find any of the threads, but there's always this:

Rogue Wave posted:

I've drat near ripped my rear end in a top hat open making GBS threads out tree trunks from massive twice daily doses of poppy pod tea everyday for months. I was making GBS threads like once every three days and would legitimately drive to an industrial strength toilet, put on some music on my headphones, grit my teeth and work on squeezing out a mess followed by a little blood. If I used my own toilet it would just clog immediately. Hell sometimes I'd walk away from an overflowing restaurant toilet and make my escape.

It has since stopped happening to me - I guess your body eventually gets used to opiates in the poo poo department. I no longer have any trouble peeing either. I do a lot less than I used to, but even if I binge now it's never as bad as the 'glory days,' where I seriously could have hurt myself.

Don't risk anal fissures or hemorrhoids, guys.

Please take some form of stool softener. Flush out your bowels with liquid torrents. It's uncomfortable for a bit, but it beats a potential wrecked rear end in a top hat or emergency room visit. I knew a dude who had to have nurses pull poo poo out of his rear end for him. Kill this bottle of magnesium citrate saline. It just tastes like grape but it's safe and will eliminate the formation of huge scary turds. If you take a bunch of immodium to cut out wds (more than 10mgs) take just a few shots of this as well and should actually balance out back to normal. Just don't stray far from a bathroom in case you took too much. You can also get into the habit of taking probiotics and metamucil to reach a better level of regularity over time once you're clean.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:42

CommieGIR: Aug 22, 2006; The blue glow is a feature, not a bug; Pillbug

How much you want to bet any challenge Trump's lawyers raise gets blown out of the water by Mueller. Trump doesn't actually seem to hire very good lawyers....

...much like his cabinet picks. He had to settle his Trump U case, and this is way way worse.

CommieGIR fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Jul 21, 2017

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:42

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

He hired an outside legal team, so they're probably competent, unlike his idiot personal lawyer.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 29, 2024 15:27

Zeroisanumber: Oct 23, 2010; Nap Ghost

CommieGIR posted:

How much you want to bet any challenge Trump's lawyers raise gets blown out of the water by Mueller. Trump doesn't actually seem to hire very good lawyers....

...much like his cabinet picks. He had to settle his Trump U case, and this is way way worse.

If he gets too fucky, SCOTUS will slap him back down. Roberts is Heritage Foundation scum, but he believes in the law.

# ? Jul 21, 2017 03:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > July 2017 Current Events: Service Guarantees Surgery.

«‹›94 »