RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

mewse posted:

We are taking over IT services for a company whose backups are on a Buffalo

Just be sure they don't fill past 95% and you'll be fine

# ? Jul 25, 2017 18:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 7, 2024 03:11

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

ChubbyThePhat posted:

BUT I HAD SO MANY RAIDS LAYERED! HOW COULD I LOSE EVERYTHING?????

It's the lovely software-RAID controlling the whole thing at the top that gets me every time :allears:

# ? Jul 25, 2017 18:21

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Powered Descent posted:

Ah, but who do you think will have programmed the firing-squad bots?

"You are scheduled for execution. At this time I am to ask for your blindfold and cigarette preferences, and for your last words."
"My last words are Klaatu Barada Nikto."
"Standing down."

laputan machine

# ? Jul 25, 2017 21:39

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Starkk posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSrnXgAmK8k&t=114s

# ? Jul 25, 2017 22:06

elcapjtk: Mar 14, 2005; Some people say I am a terrible person.

After watching that video (several years ago) I had no idea why anyone would listen to him about building a server. I still don't know.

# ? Jul 25, 2017 22:13

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

He's no worse than anybody else who does video production and 'knows a bit about computers' and decides to solve their storage issues themselves. Other than acting as an authority on things, I guess.

# ? Jul 25, 2017 22:13

Dross: Sep 26, 2006; Every night he puts his hot dogs in the trees so the pigeons can't get them.

A malware came in.

User couldn't understand how it happened to her when the only external site she visited was Facebook. I asked her to walk me through what she was doing leading up to it and she navigated by typing "facebook login" into Google and clicking one of the results at random.

# ? Jul 25, 2017 22:31

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Dross posted:

A malware came in.

User couldn't understand how it happened to her when the only external site she visited was Facebook. I asked her to walk me through what she was doing leading up to it and she navigated by typing "facebook login" into Google and clicking one of the results at random.

Knowing that this is one of the most common use cases, maddening or not, and being that Google has all its own anti-malware resources at its disposal, you'd think they'd be able to special-case their way to protecting people who grope their way along this unhappy path on a habitual basis.

# ? Jul 25, 2017 22:35

pr0digal: Sep 12, 2008; Alan Rickman Overdrive

Thanks Ants posted:

He's no worse than anybody else who does video production and 'knows a bit about computers' and decides to solve their storage issues themselves. Other than acting as an authority on things, I guess.

We have many clients who were like this. Hell, I was like this when I still worked in TV.

Now I'm on the other side of the fence and it feels pretty good helping people get their storage back on track.

# ? Jul 25, 2017 23:25

Pacra: Aug 5, 2004

anthonypants posted:

22 Eargesplitten posted:
Wait, I missed that. His software multi-RAID was at the top a RAID 0?

anthonypants posted:
25 SSDs total, configured as 8 disks connected to three controllers as RAID 5 each, and then a software RAID 0 in Windows. The 25th drive was a cold swap.

The hell would you not run a hot spare if you committed to a raid 50 setup :psyduck:

Pacra fucked around with this message at 03:03 on Jul 26, 2017

# ? Jul 26, 2017 02:58

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

anthonypants posted:

25 SSDs total, configured as 8 disks connected to three controllers as RAID 5 each, and then a software RAID 0 in Windows. The 25th drive was a cold swap.

The Aristocrats!

# ? Jul 26, 2017 03:01

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

We got a call from HP saying that both of our 3Par systems have drives that will fail within 6 months. They need to replace every drive. Replacing 1 drive takes 2 days to rebuild. :suicide:

# ? Jul 26, 2017 03:07

Ursine Catastrophe: Nov 9, 2009; It's a lovely morning in the void and you are a horrible lady-in-waiting.

don't ask how i know; Dinosaur Gum

Dross posted:

A malware came in.

User couldn't understand how it happened to her when the only external site she visited was Facebook. I asked her to walk me through what she was doing leading up to it and she navigated by typing "facebook login" into Google and clicking one of the results at random.

That's not new.

bonus thread

quote:

I TRULY DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BUT I FEEL LIKE CURSING SOMEBODY OUT!!!!!! I CAN'T EVEN GET TO MY WALL OR ANYTHING !!!! I FEEL LIKE I'V BEEN PUNKED PUT IT BACK LIKE IT WAS!!! YA'LL ACT LIKE YOU WANT TO BE TAKEN TO COURT OR SOMETHING ,I DON'T HAVE THIS KINDA TIME TO BE FOOLING ARROUND ALL I WANT TO DO IS GAIN ACCESS TO MY FACEBOOK PAGE WHAT'S REALLY UP????????

# ? Jul 26, 2017 04:03

Wibla: Feb 16, 2011

GreenNight posted:

We got a call from HP saying that both of our 3Par systems have drives that will fail within 6 months. They need to replace every drive. Replacing 1 drive takes 2 days to rebuild.

How much storage are we talking about?

This is one of those instances where it'd make sense to just nuke the whole thing and restore from backups after replacing all the drives and recreating the arrays from scratch.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 11:00

Fil5000: Jun 23, 2003; HOLD ON GUYS I'M POSTING ABOUT INTERNET ROBOTS

Ursine Catastrophe posted:

That's not new.

bonus thread

Oh god, I remember this, it was hilarious. I assume if you buy a google ad with the word "facebook" in it you can probably harvest thousands of passwords even today.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 11:12

GreenNight: Feb 19, 2006; Turning the light on the darkest places, you and I know we got to face this now. We got to face this now.

Wibla posted:

How much storage are we talking about?

This is one of those instances where it'd make sense to just nuke the whole thing and restore from backups after replacing all the drives and recreating the arrays from scratch.

60 1.7TB drives per 3Par, so 120 drives total across 2 sites.

Ask me how our DR plan is.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 12:32

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

okay everyone repeat after me

if it's not in the ticket, it never happened

# ? Jul 26, 2017 13:55

The Claptain: May 11, 2014; Grimey Drawer

Renegret posted:

if it's not in the ticket, it never happened

# ? Jul 26, 2017 13:57

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Manager A from another department asks me to open a ticket and send it over to group B over something that happened yesterday.

Manager of group B calls me and gives me a huge attitude because "we told you yesterday that..." I tell him, okay that's fine but I need it in a ticket or an e-mail.

"I'm at home I can't"

Okay! But I need it in a ticket or an e-mail.

After that I got an angry grunt followed with complete silence for the past 15 minutes and counting. I hope he's updating the ticket or writing me an e-mail because otherwise this phone call never happened. Part of me really hopes he complains to my boss.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:01

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Renegret posted:

if it's not in the ticket, it never happened

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:01

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Renegret posted:

if it's not in the ticket, it never happened

New thread title right here.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:05

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

ratbert90 posted:

New thread title right here.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:07

Steakandchips: Apr 30, 2009

Renegret posted:

Manager A from another department asks me to open a ticket and send it over to group B over something that happened yesterday.

Manager of group B calls me and gives me a huge attitude because "we told you yesterday that..." I tell him, okay that's fine but I need it in a ticket or an e-mail.

"I'm at home I can't"

Okay! But I need it in a ticket or an e-mail.

After that I got an angry grunt followed with complete silence for the past 15 minutes and counting. I hope he's updating the ticket or writing me an e-mail because otherwise this phone call never happened. Part of me really hopes he complains to my boss.

Why did you stay on the phone call for 15minutes of silence? I'd have hung up after five seconds.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:12

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

Steakandchips posted:

Why did you stay on the phone call for 15minutes of silence? I'd have hung up after five seconds.

I thought it was funny.

And I was hoping for another opportunity to butt heads with this guy. I wound up hanging up at the 21 minute mark.

It's not like it costs anything for me to slap him on speaker and mute anyway.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:23

Renegret: May 26, 2007; THANK YOU FOR CALLING HELP DOG, INC.

YOUR POSITION IN THE QUEUE IS *pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbt*

Cat Army Sworn Enemy

The thing that kills me is this company has gone away from a customer focused "I don't care who's fault it is let's just get it fixed" to "refuse to take responsibility and try to deflect blame at any opportunity."

I have no work to do anymore and most of my work time is spent surfing the forums. Then the few times I actually do have something to do, it's nothing but aggravation as everyone spins in circles pointing fingers at one another.

(I'm burning all of my vacation time in one shot in September, I'll be job hunting once I get back)

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:30

Super Slash: Feb 20, 2006; You rang ?

Renegret posted:

if it's not in the ticket, it never happened

*responds with pre-existing mile long message chain with 10 people involved*

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:31

CDW: Aug 26, 2004

Dumb mandatory ticket template tricks

"When Did the Issue Start Occurring? Weeks ago.
Last Time the Device Worked: Before that."

Most people can never pinpoint when it broke, so the latter question seems useful but rarely ever is.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:45

iospace: Jan 19, 2038

I think the issue is people see a problem, ignore it until it either A. gets too annoying, or B. gets to the point where no work is getting done.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 14:55

A Pinball Wizard: Mar 23, 2005; I know every trick, no freak's gonna beat my hands; College Slice

CDW posted:

Dumb mandatory ticket template tricks

"When Did the Issue Start Occurring? Weeks ago.
Last Time the Device Worked: Before that."

Most people can never pinpoint when it broke, so the latter question seems useful but rarely ever is.

I'm not sure when my answers to those questions ould ever be different, tbf.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 16:18

rafikki: Mar 8, 2008; I see what you did there. (It's pretty easy, since ducks have a field of vision spanning 340 degrees.)

~SMcD

A Pinball Wizard posted:

I'm not sure when my answers to those questions ould ever be different, tbf.

Something like "I smelled something electrical burning for a few weeks before it died last week" but yeah, I don't know if it's all that useful.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 17:42

Pacra: Aug 5, 2004

Renegret posted:

okay everyone repeat after me

if it's not in the ticket, it never happened

A corollary

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:24

stevewm: May 10, 2005

These completely pointless phone calls are always fun.

:j:

: I got an error message...
:eng101:

: On what? A Computer? A Printer? Which One?
:j:

: Don't know...
:eng101:

: What did it say?
:j:

: I don't know.
:eng101:

: Is it working now?
:j:

: Don't know that either. So and so told me to call and tell you an error message came up. That's all I know.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:32

null_pointer: Nov 9, 2004; Center in, pull back. Stop. Track 45 right. Stop. Center and stop.

stevewm posted:

These completely pointless phone calls are always fun.

Jesus Christ :gonk:

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:36

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

stevewm posted:

These completely pointless phone calls are always fun.

: I got an error message...
:eng101:

: Where?

: On your website...
:eng101:

: What did it say?
:j:

: I don't know.
:eng101:

: Is it working now?
:j:

: Don't know that either. I'm driving right now, but I wanted to do you a favor and give you a call to let you know that your website is broke

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:52

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

stevewm posted:

These completely pointless phone calls are always fun.

: I got an error message...
: On what? A Computer? A Printer? Which One?
: Don't know...
: What did it say?
: I don't know.
: Is it working now?
: Don't know that either. So and so told me to call and tell you an error message came up. That's all I know.

My wife will ask me to call someone, generally one of my family members, and ask about X. X generally being holiday plans or event dates or arrival times.

I'll call and ask about X, get the answer, and then relay that back to my wife.

She'll say, but what about Y? And Z? Why didn't you talk about Y and Z? I need to know about Y and Z, too! Call them back!

And I'll ask her why she doesn't make her own goddamned phone calls :argh:

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:56

Dick Trauma: Nov 30, 2007; God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Yesterday was unusually busy for me. I didn't get a real break until 4pm when I went for a walk around the block.

Phone rings. Caller hangs up. I keep walking. Lovely day outside.
Phone rings. It's a guy that's sort of a tool and almost ran me over a couple of weeks ago. He needs assistance with something so I tell him I'm outside but heading back upstairs.
Phone rings. It's him again and he no longer needs my help. Cool! I turn around and get back to walking.
Phone rings. It's him again and he really does need my help.

Ah well.

# ? Jul 26, 2017 19:59

uPen: Jan 25, 2010; Zu Rodina!

Dick Trauma posted:

Yesterday was unusually busy for me. I didn't get a real break until 4pm when I went for a walk around the block.

Phone rings. Caller hangs up. I keep walking. Lovely day outside.
Phone rings. It's a guy that's sort of a tool and almost ran me over a couple of weeks ago. He needs assistance with something so I tell him I'm outside but heading back upstairs.
Phone rings. It's him again and he no longer needs my help. Cool! I turn around and get back to walking.
Phone rings. It's him again and he really does need my help.

Ah well.

At least he bothered to tell you he didn't need you. Most people wait until I turn up to go 'oh no we fixed that an hour ago, we don't need you anymore.'

# ? Jul 26, 2017 20:11