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nmfree
Aug 15, 2001

The Greater Goon: Breaking Hearts and Chains since 2006
The Something Awful Forums › Discussion › Sports Argument Stadium › NASCAR 2017: His loins pearned with desire.

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Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

LASTCAR posted:

Kyle Busch had never been so angry. There he was, on his way to an unprecedented third straight Brickyard 400. Now he had nothing. Nothing, that is, except what was in the pocket of his uniform.

He found it when he got back to the bus and marveled at it in his hands. How perfectly a dozen Skittles fit on that length of string, each threaded through the S and held by knots three centimeters apart. Engineered perfect - like No. 18. Though now the rainbow hues of each candy were dulled somewhat. Just like No. 18.

Then came a knock on the door. It opened, and there was Martin Truex, Jr. He looked unsure of himself, like he wanted to apologize but couldn't find the words. That is, until he saw those Skittles on a string. In a flash, the memory of the previous night plunged through him. His loins pearned with desire.

"Are those what I think they are?" Truex asked.

Busch leered at him with an evil grin. "Close the door."

Wow

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012


SRA knows Roger Penske well now?

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008

by Athanatos

Clearing the way for a new manufacturer that doesn't build pickups (Dodge).

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

Ram trucks are Dodge.

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012

Why does Pocono, a track that kinda produces similiar racing to Indy, seem to not bring up the piss and vinegar in people, yet BY 400 weekend is just full of poo poo takes?

This isn't a shot at Pocono btw. That track looks like a GREAT place to go see a race. gently caress, I wish I wasn't broke :negative:.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


FuzzySkinner posted:

Why does Pocono, a track that kinda produces similiar racing to Indy, seem to not bring up the piss and vinegar in people, yet BY 400 weekend is just full of poo poo takes?

This isn't a shot at Pocono btw. That track looks like a GREAT place to go see a race. gently caress, I wish I wasn't broke :negative:.

I think it's more the historic aspect to Pocono in regards to NASCAR. They've been racing there for longer than Indy.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008

by Athanatos

big nipples big life posted:

Ram trucks are Dodge.

No. Ram Trucks are a subsidiary of Fiat Chrysler America, same as Dodge.

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

When did they split from dodge? it was dodge ram for the longest time.

Captain Dickweed
Mar 3, 2003

Yes, that kitty is probably the head of a multi-national conglomerated business...uh...thing.


big nipples big life posted:

When did they split from dodge? it was dodge ram for the longest time.

Quick Google search says 2010, I knew it happened but thought it was only within the last 2-3 years. I'd still like to see Dodge get back in the mix but FCA in general is a dumpster fire these days.

Elitist Bitch
Sep 13, 2007



Chrysler wanted to market the Dodge name to performance enthusiasts so they just dropped the name from the Ram.

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

Tyler posted:

Quick Google search says 2010, I knew it happened but thought it was only within the last 2-3 years. I'd still like to see Dodge get back in the mix but FCA in general is a dumpster fire these days.

Oh, well I guess mine was just another in a long and distinguished line of terrible posts, I blame it on being a nascar fan.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost
Hail satan

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Justin Haley GAH.

SRA, put him in a Busch car, tia.

DEEP STATE PLOT
Aug 13, 2008

Yes...Ha ha ha...YES!



Tyler posted:

Quick Google search says 2010, I knew it happened but thought it was only within the last 2-3 years. I'd still like to see Dodge get back in the mix but FCA in general is a dumpster fire these days.

these days? chrysler has been a dumpster fire since before most or all of the posters in this thread were even born. i'd buy a fuckin yugo before i'd buy any chrysler product made in the last 35 years.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008

by Athanatos

big nipples big life posted:

Oh, well I guess mine was just another in a long and distinguished line of terrible posts, I blame it on being a nascar fan.

To be fair they didn't really do a good job of splitting Ram from Dodge. They still look the same and they're still called Rams.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Brian Scott is in this?

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


https://twitter.com/ndegroot89/status/891359939549175808

Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000

Toilet Rascal

:thumbsup:

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009


:discourse:

Basticle
Sep 12, 2011


For those that dont read the F1 thread, it looks like Kyle is rubbing off on Kmags https://streamable.com/ajpsl

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost
Welp

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


:barf:

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
pro - Suarez top 10 three weeks in a row!
con - caramel m and m's made this possible

Norns
Nov 21, 2011

Senior Shitposting Strategist

dentist toy box
Oct 9, 2012

There's a haint in the foothills of NC; the haint of the #3 chevy. The rich have formed a holy alliance to exorcise it but they'll never fucking catch him.


Disgusting and filthy ban kyle Busch from racing.

Norns
Nov 21, 2011

Senior Shitposting Strategist

Ban Kyle from life

Norns
Nov 21, 2011

Senior Shitposting Strategist

Also caramel M&Ms are horrible

soggybagel
Aug 6, 2006
The official account of NFL Tackle Phil Loadholt.

Let's talk Football.
As someone who knows nothing about NASCAR I was under the impression the idea behind NASCAR is that it was more about skill than having the technological and mechanical advantage. Cars are pretty uniform and strictly regulated. Yet the few races I've seen this year announcers always say Kyle Busch and Martin Truex Jrs cars are better where as some middle pack cars just aren't good enough. What's the deal?

One of the stats I saw today was how many drat laps Busch has led all year and I know Truex Jr has won a ton of stages this year too.

Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000

Toilet Rascal

Norns posted:

Also caramel M&Ms are horrible

Incorrect! :eng101:

L_Harrison
May 22, 2007

soggybagel posted:

As someone who knows nothing about NASCAR I was under the impression the idea behind NASCAR is that it was more about skill than having the technological and mechanical advantage. Cars are pretty uniform and strictly regulated. Yet the few races I've seen this year announcers always say Kyle Busch and Martin Truex Jrs cars are better where as some middle pack cars just aren't good enough. What's the deal?

Because it is about technological and mechanical advantage, even in little things. Put Kyle Busch in a poo poo-tier team car, and he'll run 20th at best. Put a driver from a backmarker team into a good car, he'll run top 10. That's why Hendrick Motorsports has hundreds of wins and Front Row Motorsport has like 2. More money, more man-hours into computer simulations, better engines, better chassis, etc.

When Kyle Busch ran for his own team in Xfinity some years ago, he never won a race. His team merged with Gibbs, and suddenly he was winning again. To do well in NASCAR is like 80% dependent on your equipment.

kidcoelacanth
Sep 23, 2009

That's not to say a good driver can't wring something out of a poo poo car sometimes and vice versa. Kurt Busch did some pretty impressive stuff in the 51 and the 78 before that team was what it is now, and conversely Danica's been in top equipment from the jump and hasn't done gently caress all with it.

Harveygod
Jan 4, 2014

YEEAAH HEH HEH HEEEHH

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN

THIS TRASH WAR AIN'T GONNA SOLVE ITSELF YA KNOW

kidcoelacanth posted:

Kurt Busch did some pretty impressive stuff in the 51 and the 78...

That All-Star race when he drove the 78 was amazing. Every lap was :stare:.

Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000

Toilet Rascal
I just found this in my junk drawer.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

kidcoelacanth posted:

That's not to say a good driver can't wring something out of a poo poo car sometimes and vice versa. Kurt Busch did some pretty impressive stuff in the 51 and the 78 before that team was what it is now, and conversely Danica's been in top equipment from the jump and hasn't done gently caress all with it.

Kurt was also the only one to win in the 54 car in Xfinity when it was a Kyle Busch Motorsports car.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 11, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick

Nap Ghost

kidcoelacanth posted:

That's not to say a good driver can't wring something out of a poo poo car sometimes and vice versa. Kurt Busch did some pretty impressive stuff in the 51 and the 78 before that team was what it is now, and conversely Danica's been in top equipment from the jump and hasn't done gently caress all with it.

*looks at Alonso in F1*

And sometimes bad equipment just kills a driver

fuseshock
Aug 7, 2010
The next race is the "I LOVE NEW YORK 355". Even race sponsors are going to poo poo.

CBJSprague24
Dec 5, 2010

another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Loose lug nuts found on the 18 post-race.

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


CBJSprague24 posted:

Loose lug nuts found on the 18 post-race.

How many?

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Slickdrac
Oct 5, 2007

Not allowed to have nice things
NASCAR release says "a" loose lug nut. Also "a" loose nut on the 6 and 17. Not something that would negate the win.

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