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College-goon, it sounds like you did college wrong. For any other goons on the road to this college experience I have one word of advice. Just do the drinking and screwing and skip college. When you finished the drinking/screwing part and had enough then go to college and study something worthwhile and do well and make meaningful friends. Party schools where people go to get a major in drinking are stupid as gently caress.
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Jul 31, 2017 21:09
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Neutrino posted:College-goon, it sounds like you did college wrong. For any other goons on the road to this college experience I have one word of advice. Just do the drinking and screwing and skip college. When you finished the drinking/screwing part and had enough then go to college and study something worthwhile and do well and make meaningful friends. Party schools where people go to get a major in drinking are stupid as gently caress. Let's give this nerd a wedgie!!
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Jul 31, 2017 21:20
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Neutrino posted:College-goon, it sounds like you did college wrong. For any other goons on the road to this college experience I have one word of advice. Just do the drinking and screwing and skip college. When you finished the drinking/screwing part and had enough then go to college and study something worthwhile and do well and make meaningful friends. Party schools where people go to get a major in drinking are stupid as gently caress.
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Jul 31, 2017 21:45
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Does anyone who has both guns and pets in their home ever point the gun at their pet, and are all like, "Guns are bad, if someone points a gun at you, you should run away?"
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Aug 1, 2017 02:08
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No because my cats dont understand what a gun is. Weirdo.
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Aug 1, 2017 02:16
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Johny-on-the-Spot posted:Does anyone who has both guns and pets in their home ever point the gun at their pet, and are all like, "Guns are bad, if someone points a gun at you, you should run away?" My dog knows what a gun is. I don't point it at him, because I used a water gun to train him from eating all the ducks he fetches. Also, I like to blow things up around my farm.
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Aug 1, 2017 02:21
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LingcodKilla posted:No because my cats dont understand what a gun is. I figure, if you pointed a gun at a cat, they'd just start rubbing their face and biting the barrel.
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Aug 1, 2017 02:26
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Harakiri Potter posted:My dog knows what a gun is. I don't point it at him, because I used a water gun to train him from eating all the ducks he fetches. Also, I like to blow things up around my farm. How's the g/f
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Aug 1, 2017 02:44
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Grave robbing is vandalism. Somebody owns the cemetery and you're digging up their property without permission. When you're arrested for trespassing, the cops aren't going to care about the moral issue of stealing lovely jewelry off grandpa. Now, if you got buried in some random patch of dirt somewhere and you get your poo poo jacked, you really should have thought about that before dying so irresponsibly. 
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Aug 1, 2017 02:51
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This is why when I'm buried I wanna have a headstone that reads: Here lies: ZOMBIE VON DEADENSTEIN Inventor of gonorrhea That otta keep em out of my poo poo.
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Aug 1, 2017 03:03
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Neutrino posted:College-goon, it sounds like you did college wrong. For any other goons on the road to this college experience I have one word of advice. Just do the drinking and screwing and skip college. When you finished the drinking/screwing part and had enough then go to college and study something worthwhile and do well and make meaningful friends. Party schools where people go to get a major in drinking are stupid as gently caress. alternative: study hard in undergrad, get an mba nobody should study hard in an mba, because all the actual decisionmaking has been done in admissions so drink and gently caress to kill the nihilism of your future consulting and ibanking careers
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Aug 1, 2017 03:09
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(don't actually get an mba unless you get into stanford or harvard or like 6 other schools)
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Aug 1, 2017 03:11
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got any sevens posted:How's the g/f I'll have to get back to you on that one.
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Aug 1, 2017 05:38
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Animal-Mother posted:Grave robbing is vandalism. Somebody owns the cemetery and you're digging up their property without permission. When you're arrested for trespassing, the cops aren't going to care about the moral issue of stealing lovely jewelry off grandpa. Not true. http://legalbeagle.com/8723283-grave-robbing-laws.html
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Aug 1, 2017 06:36
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curufinor posted:(don't actually get an mba unless you get into stanford or harvard or like 6 other schools) Or is just an additional qualification on top your other, more important degree. Masters in engineering and an MBA, Lawyer + MBA, etc.
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Aug 1, 2017 06:42
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Just lol if you didn't spend your college years in a crippling state of depression.
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Aug 1, 2017 07:36
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It is very specifically stated in my will that I am to be buried in combat armour. That way, when I rise as a zombie, I will be unnecessarily difficult to kill. I'll be like the end boss of my area. Long story short, I'd be offended if no one tried to rob my grave. If I knew there was a brand new set of combat armour lying just 6 feet under my feet, you better believe I'd be digging like a mole on meth.
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Aug 1, 2017 07:37
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Rumda posted:Just lol if you didn't spend your college years in a crippling state of depression.
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Aug 1, 2017 12:37
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Incoherence posted:Ideally you would use your college years to find a nice balance between "partying sometimes" and "fulfilling adult responsibilities", which you could carry into adulthood. Well yeah. My advice is not to be construed as something I followed myself. But if all you want to do is drink and do as little homework as possible, you're screwing yourself. If you send me a check for $10,000 /yr I'll sign you up for a shipment of a case of good beer(Not cheap Keystone Light) every two weeks and a couple books with impressive sounding titles and at the end of four years I'll give you a worthless certificate that will get you a job at Starbucks.
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Aug 1, 2017 12:54
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yo rear end is grass posted:It is very specifically stated in my will that I am to be buried in combat armour. That way, when I rise as a zombie, I will be unnecessarily difficult to kill. I'll be like the end boss of my area. Something sextants don't want anyone knowing about graves is (minor NMS warning if you care what happens to your meat after you die) even if you buy the best vault (cement thing that encases the coffin/sarcophagus/burlap sack) and the priciest vehicle to the afterlife you can find, as soon as you are in the ground, whatever is in the ground is in there with you. Most notably and inevitably: water. First rain and that vault is a soupy mess, and it stays that way. Or maybe it didn't rain and the cemetery is on a floodplain or in the path of urban/rural runoff because the city always puts the cemetery on the cheapest land it can find. Ever see those single above-ground interments? Look like you could loot 'em in an RPG for three gold and a jeweled dagger? That's one of the reasons for those. Not the only one, mind you, but a big one. Those fuckers are expensive, but some people really care what happens to their decaying organic matter after they're done with it. I'm not gonna judge--I had pizza and frozen yogurt for breakfast so I clearly don't even care what happens to my meat while I am using it. I got no business telling people what to do with their bodies  I'ma be cremated and have my ashes spread, but I want them to bury an urn anyway, with a gravestone that reads "↓↓↓ TREASURE HERE ↓↓↓" and have them fill the urn with fake pirate treasure like acrylic jewels and plastic "gold" coins
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Aug 1, 2017 13:33
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I don't get why people wouldn't want their buried corpse to decay. Isn't that the point? Returning to dust and all that? You're not preparing for your journey to the Egyptian afterlife here
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Aug 1, 2017 14:23
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loquacius posted:I don't get why people wouldn't want their buried corpse to decay. Isn't that the point? Returning to dust and all that? You're not preparing for your journey to the Egyptian afterlife here See, you say that, but... 
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Aug 1, 2017 15:00
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loquacius posted:I don't get why people wouldn't want their buried corpse to decay. Isn't that the point? Returning to dust and all that? You're not preparing for your journey to the Egyptian afterlife here I've actually wondered a bunch, if you had as much money as Bill Gates or some Saudi prince, what it would cost to out-do the Great Pyramid, as your tomb? Like you buy a huge empty township out somewhere in the American desert as well a giant limestone quarry or whatever. With modern earth moving equipment and vehicles, what would it cost to build your pyramid? Would economies of scale make this feasible, or would a few billion dollars be insufficient?
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Aug 1, 2017 15:11
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Fintilgin posted:I've actually wondered a bunch, if you had as much money as Bill Gates or some Saudi prince, what it would cost to out-do the Great Pyramid, as your tomb? I guess people build buildings bigger than the Pyramids all the time, but usually those are financed by a whole bunch of people together, all hoping to make some money off of it. In other words if you tried to somehow finagle a giant tomb for yourself into, like, a tourist attraction or something, that could work??? To blow all the money you had at your death on a giant fancy tomb that doesn't even make any more money you'd have to hate your kids a whole lot Anyway, content. quote:Several times in the past few months I get extremely strong senses of dejavu and the only thought that goes through my head is "this is what happens before I die". I always stop whatever I'm doing when those visions come to me and go home and do whatever I can to avoid sleep until the next day. I feel like I've dodged death so many times, but I acknowledge it might be some mental thing. The feeling is always compelling though - I can see what I was about to do and then see my death after so I just don't do that. Sounds like it's time to start working on your pyramid quote:A while ago I sent some bullshit made up thing about an old space probe, my grandfather and life on Mars. Right after it was posted, two posters noted gramps was probably an abuser. I don't remember that confession off the top of my head, and I'm sorry that happened to you but I'm glad the thread helped you get treatment 
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Aug 1, 2017 15:19
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People always seem to think they have magic powers when they have dejavu (much like many think they were possessed/abducted/assaulted by demons etc because of sleep paralysis). You aren't a seer, it's a weird brain thing. I don't remember mars goon either, but a goon admitting he made up a fesh isn't surprising at all. Anyway a pyramid tomb would just cost whatever the stone costs, whatever the land costs and whatever labor costs which should be easy to estimate. It'd probably be cheaper than you think considering you don't have to put wiring or toilets or whatever in it, just your corpse. Unlike the great pyramids though, your stupid tomb isn't a historical treasure and would probably be condemned and destroyed within a decade if nobody is paid extravagant amounts to maintain it structurally.
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Aug 1, 2017 15:29
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yeah I eat rear end posted:People always seem to think they have magic powers when they have dejavu (much like many think they were possessed/abducted/assaulted by demons etc because of sleep paralysis). You aren't a seer, it's a weird brain thing. You don't need to maintain a pyramid, it's the simplest possible shape. The white marble on the outside will get scavenged by tweakers and sold to make mcmansion countertops but the rest will survive just like the real pyramids have.
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Aug 1, 2017 15:33
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Grampsmolestationgoon, the silver lining is you probably got laid before all your friends!
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Aug 1, 2017 15:37
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Solice Kirsk posted:Grampsmolestationgoon, the silver lining is you probably got laid before all your friends! 
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Aug 1, 2017 15:41
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yo rear end is grass posted:It is very specifically stated in my will that I am to be buried in combat armour. That way, when I rise as a zombie, I will be unnecessarily difficult to kill. I'll be like the end boss of my area.
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Aug 1, 2017 15:48
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Fintilgin posted:I've actually wondered a bunch, if you had as much money as Bill Gates or some Saudi prince, what it would cost to out-do the Great Pyramid, as your tomb? If you're Elon Musk, it won't cost you anything. poo poo, his legions of fanboys are probably already building the drat thing. A few billion would probably get it done. As was mentioned earlier, you won't need to pay to design it to habitability specifications, nor would you need stuff like telecom infrastructure, interior carpentry/drywall work, fixtures, fasteners, painting, etc. Really just a handful of cash for traps to foil would-be tomb raiders because come on you're building a giant pyramid tomb, you need mummies that pop out of nowhere and pitfalls and giant boulders and arrows that shoot from the walls and stuff. Maybe spend a few hundo on a giant vinyl banner that reads "NO WHIP-WIELDING ADVENTURERS ALLOWED UNLESS HUNTING A DRACULA THEN GO AHEAD, DRACULAS LIKE TO HIDE IN TOMBS" Find some fresh-out-of-school architectural engineers who still have stars in their eyes and tell 'em this is their chance to make a splash in a highly competitive industry. There are the blueprints. gently caress statics and wind shear and effects of all that weight on the water table and bedrock in the area--you're dead, remember? Put it on some lovely unusable land in the American Southwest you picked up for pennies an acre and hire anyone willing to do the labor (*cough* make sure you finish before The Wall gets done *cough*) for pay. Nobody wants the land so chances are your monument will last for centuries as no one is coming to tear it down to build a multiplex or a walmart. Just to gently caress with the civilization that arrives on Earth millennia from now and tries to make sense of what we left behind, leave the big official royal interment chamber empty and have them bury you in an unmarked grave a hundred yards away from the tomb. Why would the human do this after so much time and effort? 
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Aug 1, 2017 16:25
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yo rear end is grass posted:It is very specifically stated in my will that I am to be buried in combat armour. That way, when I rise as a zombie, I will be unnecessarily difficult to kill. I'll be like the end boss of my area. You need to be buried with a few guns and a bunch of ammunition. Every end boss needs to have a treasure for beating them.
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Aug 1, 2017 16:36
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Unlike the great pyramids though, your stupid tomb isn't a historical treasure and would probably be condemned and destroyed within a decade if nobody is paid extravagant amounts to maintain it structurally. Hold on now. I do have the presence of mind to put some of the rest of my money into a fund where the site is maintained as a tourist spot and, ideally, visible from a major interstate. Fintilgin Memorial park, museum, casino, and amusement park on site. Probably build in some sort of observation level, step pyramid style, 3/4 of the way up or something. EDIT: Also, it will eventually be a historical treasure, you JERK.
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Aug 1, 2017 16:44
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http://i.imgur.com/N65P9gL.webm
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Aug 1, 2017 16:51
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loquacius posted:I don't get why people wouldn't want their buried corpse to decay. Isn't that the point? Returning to dust and all that? You're not preparing for your journey to the Egyptian afterlife here Hey, speak for yourself, some of us intend to be mummified like Egyptian royalty so we can spend eternity in the divine company of Osiris in the Field of Reeds, thank you very much.
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Aug 1, 2017 18:11
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My plan has always been to have a giant gently caress off mausoleum built, to house my body, then have a viking funeral instead. Preferably with a giant gently caress off boat.
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Aug 1, 2017 18:29
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Cremated and mixed into the mashed potatoes of my wake.
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Aug 1, 2017 18:50
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Just throw me in the trash tbh
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Aug 1, 2017 19:07
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I also like the idea of having my body animatronically wired so that in the middle of my funeral, I'll bolt straight up from my coffin, and turn my head toward the mourners. Then my eyes will pulsate with a red light while my mouth opens like a ventriloquist's dummy and emits a screeching sound. But a low quality one, like the kind you'd hear from one of the speakers in those musical birthday cards. Maybe a 360 degree head turn, I don't know. I also haven't decided if it would be funnier to lie back down in the coffin as if nothing ever happened, or stay sitting up, staring at the congregation while the Reverend uncomfortably carries on with the service, blinking red eye-lights distracting everyone there.
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Aug 1, 2017 19:12
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Bury me with whatever technology I had in my house so corpse robbers have to clean my corpse goo to salvage the copper from the circutry.
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Aug 1, 2017 19:13
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Dumped in the ocean whole for the crabs and whatever to eat. It's only fair after what I've done to them.
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Aug 1, 2017 19:22
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