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LEGO Genetics
Oct 8, 2013

She growls as she storms the stadium
A villain mean and rough
And the cops all shake and quiver and quake
as she stabs them with her cuffs

The Golux posted:

I just looked up who Hinata's kid is and I swear I have never seen this character ever.

PICKLES

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Melomane Mallet
Oct 11, 2012

I'm bad; I'm just not born that way.
Hana.

cdyoung
Mar 2, 2012
wow people vote for the dumbest couples some times. Kagero, give someone her wonderful wonderful str growth bonus.

AradoBalanga
Jan 3, 2013

There's a reason for that. It's a case of Japanese humor having absolutely no Western equivalent.

How Rude
Aug 13, 2012


FUCK THIS SHIT
Hana

Wallet Inspector
Jun 15, 2012

Drop Setsuna's crappy growths on this crappy kid.

Mysticblade
Oct 22, 2012

Wow, this thread hates my pickle pal too?. I'm voting Kagero since I like him.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.
Kagero

Krumbsthumbs
Oct 23, 2010

2nd Place.
1st Loser.
So long as the... amazing support Kagero has with Odin gets shown off, I'm cool with Kagero

I swear, Selkie has the growths of a staff user like Serra or Clarine from the GBA games, only with a shaky strength growth instead of a shaky magic growth.

PlasticAutomaton
Nov 12, 2016

Artoria Pendonut


Put my vote towards whichever of Hana or Felicia is in the lead. Let's not waste a good mother on this poo poo kid.

blizzardvizard
Sep 12, 2012

Shhh... don't wake up the sleeping lion :3:

Hana

RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012




cdyoung posted:

wow people vote for the dumbest couples some times. Kagero, give someone her wonderful wonderful str growth bonus.

Because a lot of people like Kagero and think she deserves better than being paired with someone whose kid will probably never be used after this.

Selena

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
I'm going with Hana now to avoid more flooding.

Also, I'm changing Selkie to Hoshidan Noble cause two beaststoners are kinda useless to have



She gets to keep her white color scheme at least.



New growths:

HP: 55
STR: 52.5
MAG: 32.5
SKL: 47.5
SPD: 60
LCK: 62.5
DEF: 47.5
RES: 37.5

She now has as much or better stats than Corrine who's level 8 (exception is 22 luck vs. Corrine's 11)

Geostomp
Oct 22, 2008

Unite: MASH!!
~They've got the bad guys on the run!~

The Golux posted:

I just looked up who Hinata's kid is and I swear I have never seen this character ever.

Not gonna lie, I forgot more than half the kids. They just don't stand out that much outside of the Awakening clones (not positively) and Ophelia Dusk.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
The way you categorize things as being womanly or not can get under my skin.



I am shocked, shocked that Hinata is a bad dad





Lucky kid I got, living here in a Deeprealm. Catch a whiff of that breeze! Smells like freedom! And good times!

...He thinks the Deeprealms is a paradise of freedom?

HEY! HISAME! OVER HERE!



What?! Hey, what's with this "Father" stuff? I was "Dad" last time I checked. Remember? The guy you'd come running to see when I showed up? What's this? You're way over...there. Do I stink or something?
No. I'm just older now.
Hmm. My boy's in his teens now? I get it. You don't want to hang out with Dad. I remember being your age. Seems like yesterday. You're just as moody as I was.
Leave me alone, Father. You don't understand. I'm not being...moody.
Heh. Didn't mean to make fun of you. Just giving you a hard time. C'mon. I came all this way. Can't I ruffle my boy's hair, like the old days?



Come again? A little louder? Pipe up? What'd you say?
Please stop it, Father! You haven't been back to visit me in ages! You can't just breeze in and out like we're still the best of friends!
But I came to visit only a few...? Er, what was it? Days? Weeks?

Ryoma, you got competition for neglect

I just... I just want you to leave. You forget how time passes here. I've learned to be just fine on my own. So, good-bye, Father. *Leaves*
...
Aw, man. I really screwed this up. Last time he was so happy. But, now? There goes my little boy, off and running...
Whoa. Wait. Where IS he running?! Uh-oh.

*Hisame runs through a portal*



Gurr-graaah...
Ayaaaah! This is where Father lives? Around m-m-monsters like this?! If only he were here!
No. I have to fight my own battles. Starting now.




For gently caress's sake, another kid trapped in the middle of enemies. At least it's only Faceless I guess?

Bench 5, most voted is out permanently: http://www.strawpoll.me/13584807

Booky
Feb 21, 2013

Chill Bug


I think this line from the Hinata/Hana support is supposed to be Hinata's portrait and not Hana? "If I didn't, I wouldn't constantly come to you to challenge my swordplay! That makes sense, right?"

And man, Hinata really needs a "Bad Dad" mug or something. :v:

Melomane Mallet
Oct 11, 2012

I'm bad; I'm just not born that way.
So I gotta ask, you are planning on picking up Corrine and Kaden's other kid at some point, yes?

Carlosologist
Oct 13, 2013

Revelry in the Dark

Hisame is only good for the line "dive into the brine" but other than that he's kind of a waste

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

Melomane Mallet posted:

So I gotta ask, you are planning on picking up Corrine and Kaden's other kid at some point, yes?

We already saw Kana back in Birthright.

Melomane Mallet
Oct 11, 2012

I'm bad; I'm just not born that way.
We saw the female version. I was curious if you were counting the Kanas as the same kid or not.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
Hana, Beruka, Ryoma, Reina are out, Nyx is out permanently. Didn't see that one coming, completely out of nowhere

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!


Nyx is out forever. There goes my last source of Heartseeker, oh well.



The Faceless are more annoying than actually threatening, since they have very good defense with a bunch of skills that may hurt.



If you can call it a gimmick, these Waste tiles reduce movement of every ground unit except Fujin Takumi to 1 and reduces their avoid. That's...about it. It's just a super-straight forward routing of Faceless otherwise.



PSkill: Calm-After choosing to Wait, Skill and Resistance +4 for one Turn

Hisame is a Hana clone, arguably worse than Hana because 16 strength at level 20 is...not good. And that PSkill is...there I guess?



The only good thing about Hisame is that he does not remotely move, so he'll be safe for a few turns before a Faceless eventually runs to his position by turn 5.



Father, you came to rescue me? After everything I said?
Hey now, don't you worry. Your dad's here. Late, yeah. But here. And these monsters don't stand a chance against me!
Hmm.
*mumble*...a hero.
What? You say something? Can't mumble in battle. You gotta get to it!
No, it's nothing. Really.
Ah, well, if you say so. Now, excuse your dad while he goes in swinging!



No... I'm staying. I've got your back, Father.
Whoa! When'd you grow up to be a hero like your ol' dad?
I've got your back too, Son. No one's ever going to get between us.

Oh my god, he's totally delusional

Yes, I'll make sure of that.
All right, come on. Let's show these gross piles of evil who's boss.
Let's end this quickly. It's cutting into my father-son time.

Welp, another scenario where a kid rightfully calls out a parent for abandoning them but drops it in the end.



Hisame is switching to a MoA to give him some killing power, and his growths are just overall better. Plus, there's already enough sword specialists at this point. Need more axe users.



I would really like to say anything interesting about this mission, but it's a slow, plodding grind to kill Faceless which don't challenge the team. There's reinforcements on like turn 7 but that's about it.



The only thing I'll note is jesus christ, Saizo how the gently caress do you only have 17 speed





And with that, good-bye.
Hey now, you're still giving up on me? That's it? No talking it through?
I...I can explain... Of course I clearly belong in the Deeprealms. That's why you stuck me there, right? Because I couldn't make it here?

Oh, he thinks he deserves being in the Deeprealm. Ugh.



Absolutely not. There's no point. You're a hero. I'm not.
Hmm. You're being a blockhead, Son. So I'm going to lay it out for you...
Did you SEE yourself out there?! That was a HERO on the field! How'd you even do any of that? You were amazing. That's proof enough that you're right. I wasn't here. YOU trained you.
...
Hisame, please. Travel with me? You don't need to go back.
Hmm? Go with you? I won't get in your way?
No, of course not. I'd love to have you around all the time. I hope I can make it up to you for not visiting enough.



You know how a lot of dads felt kinda guilty or conscious about the Deeprealm rules? It's no shock that Hinata is the one just forgot that was a thing.

But I swear we'll spend every possible minute together from now on!
Father... I mean, Dad...
All right. Let's go. Heh. You haven't changed a bit. Just like when you used to show up and I'd come running...
Haha! Yeah! Where's my hug?! I got some hair-ruffling to catch up on! Come on over here!
Gods, no. I'm not a child anymore!
Oh, that's right. OK, OK... I got it. We're good.



That's an insult to bears, and people with good beards.

All right! I can work with that!
Huh? Hang on. Hold everything. You're not! You can't be! Have you gotten TALLER than me?!
Heh. Maybe? Maybe not. Anyway, I need to head back home to say good-bye. I'll be back shortly. *leaves*
What? No way! Stand next to me! Just for a second! We gotta measure it out!

Unit Joined


Hisame



Class sets: Starts as Samurai, Oni Savage, Monk
PSkill: Calm-After choosing to Wait, Skill and Resistance +4 for one Turn

Growth Rates
HP: 57.5
STR: 62.5
MAG: 5
SKL: 52.5
SPD: 57.5
LCK: 35
DEF: 35
RES: 25

Hisame has very good stats for attacking, uh....not very good for much else. I don't really get what the PSkill is for, even factoring in Sing. Mage bait, I guess??

WHAT?! Stinky cheeses! And you call yourself a samurai?

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
Hisame's a guy? I would not have guessed that from any of the artwork of him in that update.

ajkalan
Aug 17, 2011

That's probably the last we'll be seeing of Hisame. Have fun on the bench!

AradoBalanga
Jan 3, 2013

So, Hisame's an interesting case in that his Endearing Character TraitTM for the English localization is an insane love of pickles. Why, you ask? Because Hisame is built around a joke that works in Japanese but has practically no Western equivalent, so the joke flies over everyone's heads. See, his character blurb lists Hisame as "The youngest old man", and that's what the joke revolves around. Hisame's original character gimmick is that he loves fermented foods, and the joke is that this affinity is usually found among older people in Japan (read: closer to Gunter's age than Hisame's age). But since Western cultures don't have anything like this, Hisame's localized love of pickles came off to people as the localization staff doing dumb weird things rather than what the problem really is: the original script body checking the localization staff into a corner with no easy way out. It's not helped any further by Hisame becoming very passionate about the subject in his support with Corrine, to the point he comes off as disturbingly obsessed with his favorite foods.

Of course, even with that, it doesn't save Hisame from being so painfully bland everywhere else. I make it no mistake that out of the kids, Hisame's the one I've skipped over the most just because I really do not find him interesting. And of course, because his father is equally bland and thus not worth it in the long run.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!

cheetah7071
Oct 20, 2010

honk honk
College Slice
I suspect that a better translation could have substituted a different old-person thing for him to like

But honestly I can't blame them for just doing the bare minimum to pick up their paycheck when this is the plot and writing they're given

Camel Pimp
May 17, 2008

This poster survived LPing Lunar: Dragon Song. Let's give her a hand.
Like his dad, I never used Hisame. Hisame really suffers from the fact that you really, really do not need another samurai (especially since any other samurai is directly competing against Ryoma.) There's plenty of things you can do to make him good, but it feels like that effort is best spend elsewhere.

W.T. Fits
Apr 21, 2010

Ready to Poyozo Dance all over your face.

quote:

I'm not going to name my sword.

Somewhere on The Bench, Odin just got extremely angry and he doesn't know why.

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

cheetah7071 posted:

I suspect that a better translation could have substituted a different old-person thing for him to like

But honestly I can't blame them for just doing the bare minimum to pick up their paycheck when this is the plot and writing they're given

If the dude was a bingo maniac that might actually be fun.

Lord Koth
Jan 8, 2012

The irony of this go around is that statistically Hana is actually a really good mother for any physical-based unit - she's tied for 4th highest STR growth in the game (with Charlotte; Kagero and Effie/Keaton are #1 & 2), and also tied for 4th highest SPD growth (with Elise and Camilla; Kaze and Setsuna/Azura are #1 & 2). Her SKL is perfectly fine as well, while HP (her weakest point) is generally one of the easier stats to cover over with children bases.

Mysticblade
Oct 22, 2012

Yeah, Hisame's big problem is that he starts off with bad classes. By the point you get him, any Swordmaster has to deal with Ryoma and his weapon ranks aren't good aside from a sword rank which is not great. Hisame can also function despite Hana's poor HP growth thanks to his personal 55 growth which is really good.

Honestly, the optimal mother(short of a F!Corrin) seemed to be Peri so Hisame could be go into Paladin and have a mount with his sword rank.

Mysticblade fucked around with this message at 08:28 on Aug 2, 2017

TheKingofSprings
Oct 9, 2012

cheetah7071 posted:

I suspect that a better translation could have substituted a different old-person thing for him to like

But honestly I can't blame them for just doing the bare minimum to pick up their paycheck when this is the plot and writing they're given

Make him a cheese fanatic maybe

Gravity Cant Apple
Jun 25, 2011

guys its just like if you had an apple with a straw n you poked the apple though wit it n a pebbl hadnt dropped through itd stop straw insid the apple because gravity cant apple

TheKingofSprings posted:

Make him a cheese fanatic maybe

The problem with that is e'erbody loves cheese. Unless you're lactose intolerant or something I guess.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Cold tapioca and prunes.

inthesto
May 12, 2010

Pro is an amazing name!
I'm always surprised at how much the thread dislikes Hana. Her stats usually do what they need to, and like another poster mentioned, she's a good mom in general. Then again, it could be birthright being so easy you can get away with anything.

Well, except Hinata.

e: Hisame loving prune juice and grape nuts would have probably gotten the joke across.

AweStriker
Oct 6, 2014

Hisame still looks and presumably sounds a lot less like he needs a punch in the face, so...

ApplesandOranges
Jun 22, 2012

Thankee kindly.

Mysticblade posted:

Yeah, Hisame's big problem is that he starts off with bad classes. By the point you get him, any Swordmaster has to deal with Ryoma and his weapon ranks aren't good aside from a sword rank which is not great. Hisame can also function despite Hana's poor HP growth thanks to his personal 55 growth which is really good.

Honestly, the optimal mother(short of a F!Corrin) seemed to be Peri so Hisame could be go into Paladin and have a mount with his sword rank.

Selena does the same (Bow Knight). Selena tends more to Hisame's strengths (buffs up his Spd while maintaining his Def) while Peri moves him closer to 'standard' Myrmidon fare by upping his Str/Spd but weakening his defenses.

Tae
Oct 24, 2010

Hello? Can you hear me? ...Perhaps if I shout? AAAAAAAAAH!
C-B-A

Fight me, Subaki! I know that I can take you down.

S rank

Whatever. I'll show you my piece first!

Let's not pretend this wasn't going to be the thread's vote considering dozen pages of "hinting" from everyone



I'll give you three seconds to give a guess what Caeldori spells in a different way.





Now then, where is my daughter?



Cordelia, like Gaius is semi-here in Fates.

Caeldori, my dear! You've frown even more beautiful while I've been away.
Goodness. Please, Father. You're embarrassing me.
Do I dote too much? Maybe so.
You've been well, I hope?
Yes, of course. I've kept up with every aspect of my training and studies. And in my spare time, I've memorized several books about war strategy.
Wow! Impressive. Trying to be perfect, just like your father?
I'm aiming for capable. I've never seen real combat yet...
Take your time, Daughter. Don't rush yourself. The reason my friends and I are constantly at war is to end war.



Enemies are attacking a site as we speak—you're needed at once.
All right. I'll go at once.
I'm here too! I can fight, Father!
You want to join me?
Well, why not? I would learn so much more in actual combat. Besides, don't you need all the help you can get?



Subaki, you've been benched for like 20 missions

I couldn't bear the thought of putting you in harm's way.
But, Father!
Caeldori, don't you worry. My friends are excellent at what they do. And I must say that I approach perfection on the battlefield.
Wait here. I'll return as soon as the battle's over.
I, um... But...
No buts, Caeldori. I'll be back in a jiffy. *leaves*





I will say that I like Cael's portrait poses a lot better than Cordelia's.




Double pincer assault on two separate islands. Yet another rout map, and no gimmicks involved.

Party will be from lowest level at this point, because too many of my guys are becoming over leveled. Corrine was gaining like 4 EXP on kills last mission.

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TheKingofSprings
Oct 9, 2012
The Fates portraits are in general way, way better than the Awakening portraits

Everyone is at a better angle for the most part, people don't have that chin that could cut glass quite as much

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