Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

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MinorInconvenience: Feb 24, 2017; Criminal lawyer or criminal, lawyer. Yeah. No difference.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

This is pretty much how the Aegis POTATO got blabbed; it was encrypted and posted in the thread, then someone flat out posted the answer in the thread, and CIG reads the thread so welp!

Hey. Dr Smart has cribbed at least one of my posts here for his blog. I was in fact flattered and never complained. And unlike MoMA/Toast, I am a real honest-to-god-and-regretting-every-moment-of-it lawyer. Who is admitted to the SCOTUS. If I say something will be kept confidential, it will be. Period. Even on this stupid dead gay comedy forum.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 03:48

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 04:41

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

The Titanic posted:

You're referring to the company that is based off of lies, where the VP and CEO weren't married, then whoops they actually were!

Where the VP has a degree in marketing with a masters thesis entitled "International Marketing", who as a young lady was designing shoes, while also getting a degree in marine biology, and during her classes had her models jump on the table and do a show, while also running that modeling company.

The CEO is so busy not working on his game that when he actually has to play it he has no idea how, and coined the phrases that insinuate backers will never find out about how they've wasted the money.

The same company that spends untold thousands on poo poo tier furniture that looks like it came off of an airplane.

A company based around making a video game that's too priority is making YouTube videos so they can pack their imbd accounts with episodes.

...so yes, yes I can see them spending untold thousands to get some jerkoff on twitch to stream their product 24/7 as much as humanly possible to help it look like the YouTube videos where they lie about features may actually exist because some "big name" streamer is dedicated to it.

Really the only miscalculation that everybody at CIG seems to have done is believe in Chris Roberts and his project estimation skills.

Between streamers hyping and then suddenly not having their expected and very likely promised material, to timed marketing launches featuring parts of the game that don't exist (that shitlemonade webpage, possibly even the recent PCGamer episode), and everybody thinking "this will happen and this time!" And it doesn't.

I'm no marketing expert, but I do know you plan marketing releases far in advance of your product actually being ready. It's all about timing, matching up production estimates with sales and distribution. It's expensive and puts stress on both groups to make sure the timing is perfect.

And comically enough, CIG can't estimate to save their lives, so we see comical "surprise marketing", but it's a loving misfire because they believe in Roberts' estimations. We'll probably see many more of them too. Each time you do, it's some fabricated time where CR was sitting at an office waving his hands and saying "oh yeah, we'll definitely make that deadline!" while none of the programmers are in the room, the game code is burning down around him, and he hasn't played it since December of 2015 or something.

So yes, I believe they pay their streamer bitch quite well, because he's the one marketing guy that will always be positive because he's loving paid to be positive (except for the occasional mental breakdown), and probably one of the few who want fame and money more than just having fun with a game. That's why he'll never be a great streamer though, because he can't have fun.

Yeah.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 03:52

The Titanic: Sep 15, 2016; Unsinkable

Beet Wagon posted:

I'd advise everyone in this thread not to care enough about MoMA to make some kind of weird serial killer calendar of his actions. But otherwise yeah.

Yes, don't actually do that. It really doesn't matter enough to bother doing any of that for my errant and pointless speculation. Star Citizen is about speculation, so I'm working on getting to level 2.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 03:52

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Hey guys, play Star Citizen here: https://testsquadron.com/auroracrash/

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:03

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Malachite_Dragon posted:

This is pretty much how the Aegis POTATO got blabbed; it was encrypted and posted in the thread, then someone flat out posted the answer in the thread, and CIG reads the thread so welp!

I'd love to see a breakdown of CIG's finances just to learn how much they spent to have someone monitor our shitposting

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:10

hakimashou: Jul 15, 2002; Upset Trowel

Foo Diddley posted:

I'd love to see a breakdown of CIG's finances just to learn how much they spent to have someone monitor our shitposting

155 million dollars

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:19

Thoatse: Feb 29, 2016; Lol said the scorpion, lmao

spacetoaster posted:

Hey guys, play Star Citizen here: https://testsquadron.com/auroracrash/

Flappy Aurora is one of the better things to come out of Start Citizen. Here's a flash game that's essentially the same flight model/controls as Arena Commander though: http://www.silvergames.com/en/space-flash-arena

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:22

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

MinorInconvenience posted:

Already memorized.

The only awkward part is trying to figure out how to squeeze in an attribution to you without sounding like an idiot....

Just say you heard it from some British dude

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:26

MinorInconvenience: Feb 24, 2017; Criminal lawyer or criminal, lawyer. Yeah. No difference.

Foo Diddley posted:

I'd love to see a breakdown of CIG's finances just to learn how much they spent to have someone monitor our shitposting

You and me both. The most interesting thing about all of this, to me, in my profession, is to see where all the money went. And what's gonna happen when the whole project collapses. I can't wait! This dumpster fire and Theranos are my two favorite poo poo companies to watch for various reasons.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:27

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Quavers posted:

https://twitter.com/RobertsSpaceInd/status/892906654861148160

e:

Looks like someone doesn't understand that a "holo projection" or "hologram" in a game isn't actually a real "holo projection" or "hologram" but rather game graphics made to reasemble a hologram (or have an effect as such) and having it so that it can be viewed from more than one perspective is essentially as difficult as getting two players standing at different locations within the game environment to look at the same in game object. :shrug:

I sometimes forget that citizens often mistake the ideas or assets in a game for real life things with real technological implications or benefits, and then they say the most ridiculously stupid poo poo like that quote and I remember just how utterly gormless and gulible they are, and then I hope they don't have the wherewithall to attempt to procreate with anything except one of their old crusty gym socks. :rant:

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:28

MinorInconvenience: Feb 24, 2017; Criminal lawyer or criminal, lawyer. Yeah. No difference.

Mr.Tophat posted:

Just say you heard it from some British dude

Done and done!

Although I don't think my married boss appreciated the analogy when I dropped it on him while he was hitting on our blonde teenage waitress at the hotel. Gotta dust off that resume again. Sigh. I can maybe use the client as a reference. poo poo.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:32

TheAgent: Feb 16, 2002; The call is coming from inside Dr. House; Grimey Drawer

Lazrin posted:

truly precognizant

i look forward to hearing what day follows saturday

I dunno, last time I predicted a bunch of stuff sq42 related it turns out making video games is really hard and CIG had to issue an apology video

so who knows! I do look forward to playing 3.0 with ya when it releases

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:34

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

XK posted:

So, here's the WTFOSaurus meltdown. Go to 7:08 if it doesn't automatically.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vlacl84JNVA&t=428s

This is the fate of every star citizen fan on the earth.

I loved this video not for the schadenfreude, but because it was a real, human moment. The bleak, cold emptiness of Chris Robert's Star Citizen.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:53

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

D_Smart posted:

All I can say is, I have the ENTIRE scoop on what they're doing with SQ42 for GamesCom. Hint: See "The Worm"

Everyone's getting free tequila? Hell yeah!

CIG pulled it out again.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 04:55

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

MinorInconvenience posted:

Done and done!

Although I don't think my married boss appreciated the analogy when I dropped it on him while he was hitting on our blonde teenage waitress at the hotel. Gotta dust off that resume again. Sigh. I can maybe use the client as a reference. poo poo.

Are you being serious?

Did I just cause a goon to get fired maybe?

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:12

Thoatse: Feb 29, 2016; Lol said the scorpion, lmao

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:12

BeefThief: Aug 8, 2007

spacetoaster posted:

Hey guys, play Star Citizen here: https://testsquadron.com/auroracrash/

Crashed 4 times before I could do anything, time for a refactor

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:19

Gravity_Storm: Mar 1, 2016

So CIG are manically creating fake poo poo to be passed off as SQ42... which movie will they Archer this time?

nvm its Star Wars and Dune again isnt it. Like the only 2 sci fi movies Crobber has ever seen.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:20

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Gravity_Storm posted:

So CIG are manically creating fake poo poo to be passed off as SQ42... which movie will they Archer this time?

nvm its Star Wars and Dune again isnt it. Like the only 2 sci fi movies Crobber has ever seen.

So he never watched Wing Commander? Explains a lot

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:25

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Gravity_Storm posted:

So CIG are manically creating fake poo poo to be passed off as SQ42... which movie will they Archer this time?

nvm its Star Wars and Dune again isnt it. Like the only 2 sci fi movies Crobber has ever seen.

With all the New Zealand shots and derelict ship talk and rovers, they're aiming at Alien.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:27

Viscous Soda: Apr 24, 2004

Amazing Zimmo posted:

https://twitter.com/JLaelFletcher/status/892868913993830401

That's... really not that good. I mean the water and the plants look pretty good, but nothing's dirty, nothing's broken, heck nothings even out of place. If it's bright enough for plants to grow and that wet, everything should be covered with mold, moss and algae, things should be rusting and falling apart.

It honestly looks like their artist just took a generic scifi room pasted in some plant models and threw a water layer on the floor... which is probably what they did.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:32

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:32

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Quavers posted:

I know bugger all about programming, so why is branching bad?

An "if" branch adds "state" to the system, and makes your code tightly coupled. Nested if branches are a big no-no. For one, it's very hard to understand the intention of the code. But more importantly, it adds entropy and chaos to the program as a whole. Let's take that linked code as an example.

code:

if (thing one is true)
   and if (thing two is true)
      and if (thing three is true)
         and if (thing four is true)
            then do something

This one function is dependent on the state of four other parts of the code. These parts may be intuitively unrelated to this part. If any one of those other four parts changes, it could (and provably will) effect this part. This is what I mean by "tightly coupled" code. Basically it adds chaos. So if this pattern becomes widespread, the code becomes extremely resistant to change, because every time you change one thing, it breaks all the other things that depend on it for assessing the state of the machine.

What we don't see is what happens if any one of those things are false. This is probably what the rest of that method looks like:

code:

if (thing one is true) {
   if (thing two is true) {
      if (thing three is true) {
         if (thing four is true) {
             do action 1
         } else {
             do action 2
         }
      } else if (thing five true) {
         do action 3
      } else {
         do action 4
      }
   else {
      do action 5
   }
else if (thing 6 true) {
   do action 6
else {
   do action 7
}

Even in pseudo-code this is obviously a terrible mess. People wonder why CIG take so long and SC has so many bugs. This is why. Their programmers suck.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:32

Amazing Zimmo: Jan 27, 2006; That's quite a load you got in them diapers

SelenicMartian posted:

With all the New Zealand shots and derelict ship talk and rovers, they're aiming at Alien.

Nah, the New Zealand shots mean that they're aiming for a Lord of the Rings vibe.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:32

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Amazing Zimmo posted:

Nah, the New Zealand shots mean that they're aiming for a Lord of the Rings vibe.

Starring Ben as the Eye.

I wonder if there's a sheep named Star Citizen.

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:36

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Viscous Soda posted:

That's... really not that good. I mean the water and the plants look pretty good, but nothing's dirty, nothing's broken, heck nothings even out of place. If it's bright enough for plants to grow and that wet, everything should be covered with mold, moss and algae, things should be rusting and falling apart.

It honestly looks like their artist just took a generic scifi room pasted in some plant models and threw a water layer on the floor... which is probably what they did.

I like how the lights are still on after all these years. Nothing says "abandoned" like a big glowing welcome sign

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:37

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

quote:

Derek

Oh look, you found Ben's review!

# ? Aug 3, 2017 05:38

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry