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I just saw it. I didn't hate it, but then again I went in with rock bottom expectations. 
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Aug 8, 2017 23:41
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Where was Walter's trademark laugh? This movie just made me feel baffled and sad. I liked Idris Elba as Roland, but everything else was puzzling. There is so much cool imagery they could have drawn from, but instead we got the most bland sets ever and no cool robots or mutants 
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Aug 9, 2017 15:09
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The only scene that worked for me (and seemed to prompt much of a reaction from the audience I saw it with on opening night) was the "fish out of water in NYC" hospital scene. That was a major part of what I liked about Drawing of the Three, too, Roland trying to get his head around strange Earth customs and practices. Walter/Randall menacing Jake's parents could have worked if they'd let it breathe a bit more, give him a bit more smarmy menace before he went full on kill-crazy. Overall though this very much looked like the studio-committee-designed troubled-production mess it was. Even Elba wasn't that great, which I'd probably peg on bad writing and direction and the difficulty of him having to go from aloof, laconic jerk to Revolver Dad in like 60 minutes of screen time. The Walter-Roland fight reminded me like nothing so much as Count Dooku and Yoda throwing CGI rocks at each other and the "Hey we saved the Tower, but get in the Delorean for more great adventures, The Sony Studios logo has become the mark of licensed property trash flailing to be the next ~cinematic universe~. They should have just adapted The Gunslinger. Give creative freedom and 30 milly to an auteur who gets the source material. 200 lean, evocative pages written when King was at his coke-fueled best. That would have been a better movie or at least a less costly failure.
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Aug 9, 2017 15:47
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ZorajitZorajit posted:It's a fair write up of Goldman's questionable filmography but I'd take issue with the continued insistence on ripping into Batman & Robin. That movie deserves some re-evaluation as a camp piece and the gay interpretation of the characters courtesy Schumaker. It's an intentional film, which the usual critiques miss either absently or willfully. Re-watch the movie, it's still awful and bloated and misses the mark on absolutely everything. I recently re-watched everything from Batman to Batman and Robin and it's shocking how absolutely awful the movie is. The gay interpretation stuff is done better in Batman Forever (that's faint praise) with Batman being forced to choose between Robin and the token love interest and choosing both. I don't know where this recent trend of re-evaluating the movie as "good" is coming from, because it sure as hell isn't from people watching the movie. To get back on topic - I'm going to see this tomorrow night. I have literally no expectations except this will be bad, but I'm hopeful I can find something to enjoy for 90 minutes. I love those books so much I feel obligated to see this.
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Aug 9, 2017 17:15
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Are you telling me they blew up the Dark Tower with lasers? I should refuse to spoiler that. Anyone who hasn't seen the film and knows enough to understand that would thank me for saving them  That is offensive. That is missing the point so badly it's like filming a romcom at the battle of the Somme.
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Aug 9, 2017 18:19
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Is it a spoiler if it was in the trailer?
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Aug 9, 2017 18:43
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So what's the next cinematic abortion Sony plans to inflict on us?
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Aug 9, 2017 19:25
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readingatwork posted:So what's the next cinematic abortion Sony plans to inflict on us? The unnecessary Flatliners remake in September, then Jumanji in December. Neither of those will match the disappointment of Ghosbusters/TDK, but nobody was really asking for them either.
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Aug 9, 2017 19:45
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biracial bear for uncut posted:Is it a spoiler if it was in the trailer? I figured it was a vision or a hallucination or something.
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Aug 9, 2017 20:20
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Eifert Posting posted:That is missing the point so badly it's like filming a romcom at the battle of the Somme. Please don't knock my black comedy gay romance in the trenches script until it's made please.
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Aug 9, 2017 20:27
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Eifert Posting posted:That is offensive. That is missing the point so badly it's like filming a romcom at the battle of the Somme. What kind of hamster cage of an imagination do you have if you can't see the potential in this idea? Love is a battlefield.
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Aug 9, 2017 20:41
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Eifert Posting posted:That is offensive. That is missing the point so badly it's like filming a romcom at the battle of the Somme. A romantic comedy at the Somme would be a bad idea, but... I could totally imagine a romance set in WWI surrounding the battle.
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Aug 9, 2017 20:59
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This movie was basically a worse Last Action Hero with the exact opposite message
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Aug 9, 2017 22:10
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Eifert Posting posted:Are you telling me they blew up the Dark Tower with lasers? I should refuse to spoiler that. Anyone who hasn't seen the film and knows enough to understand that would thank me for saving them Yeah they never bothered to go with the Breakers even though that's what the facility was, or even explain the Beams, though they drew them in the stick in the mud map in the one scene. Ka is also never explained. So I don't know? 
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Aug 9, 2017 23:22
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cubicle gangster posted:Please don't knock my black comedy gay romance in the trenches script until it's made please. How do you say "lynch mob" in French?
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Aug 10, 2017 01:07
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According to Wikipedia, the girl in the village that Jake kind of flirts with is Susan Delgado? WTF? Not even a single did-a-chack, dum-a-chee in the movie, either.
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Aug 10, 2017 05:27
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This felt like someone gave a screenwriter a synopsis of all the books, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a 90-minute cap on the runtime. The little nods were all to generic Stephen King stuff, not necessarily Dark Tower stuff, with the exception of the ol' plot device in the satchel. But it just felt ham-fisted to an extreme degree, like 'aw poo poo we gotta cram all this in' with the exposition all up in your face from the start. As flawed as King's series was, it deserved better than this.
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Aug 10, 2017 08:38
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Eifert Posting posted:How do you say "lynch mob" in French? Mèche de lynch
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Aug 10, 2017 12:13
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Stephen King magnetic poetry
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Aug 10, 2017 15:23
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Abugadu posted:This felt like someone gave a screenwriter a synopsis of all the books, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a 90-minute cap on the runtime. The little nods were all to generic Stephen King stuff, not necessarily Dark Tower stuff, with the exception of the ol' plot device in the satchel. But it just felt ham-fisted to an extreme degree, like 'aw poo poo we gotta cram all this in' with the exposition all up in your face from the start. Yeah. "Spot-the-reference" is a really terrible way to get audience buy-in. It's supposed to show that the screenwriter knows the story and the details and respects them enough to put them into the script...but if you're doing that, why not tell the original loving story that the script is ostensibly based on? Edit: I mean, there's always gonna be changes in any adaptation, and sometimes even big ones can work (e.g., changing the time forward from the 50's to the 80's in the upcoming It remake doesn't seem like a terrible idea, since it still ties in to an idea of cyclic evil), but if the changes aren't necessary or don't serve any purpose, why even make them? The built-in audience wants to see the story they know, not one made generic to pander to the largest customer base. Asbury fucked around with this message at 15:49 on Aug 10, 2017 |
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Aug 10, 2017 15:39
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Thing that annoyed me most No Hey Jude
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Aug 10, 2017 15:55
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Chairman Capone posted:According to Wikipedia, the girl in the village that Jake kind of flirts with is Susan Delgado? WTF? I was worried about that, and also worried that they'd make Jake's neighbor friend named Eddie, but I don't think they did.
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Aug 10, 2017 20:24
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Did Roland's bullets seem to be small or larger based on the scene? Like when he's reloading they look like .22 caliber but then he gets .45's.
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Aug 11, 2017 00:16
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Kaedric posted:I was worried about that, and also worried that they'd make Jake's neighbor friend named Eddie, but I don't think they did. I would've poo poo if his friend had a junkie older brother named Henry.
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Aug 11, 2017 00:37
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Krispy Kareem posted:Did Roland's bullets seem to be small or larger based on the scene? Like when he's reloading they look like .22 caliber but then he gets .45's. I think we've finally gotten to the root of why this film just wasn't working.
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Aug 11, 2017 00:38
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Abugadu posted:This felt like someone gave a screenwriter a synopsis of all the books, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a 90-minute cap on the runtime. The little nods were all to generic Stephen King stuff, not necessarily Dark Tower stuff, with the exception of the ol' plot device in the satchel. But it just felt ham-fisted to an extreme degree, like 'aw poo poo we gotta cram all this in' with the exposition all up in your face from the start. I think once you get a story that's more than like 3 books (esp 9 books) it's time to stop with the movie aspirations - It's worked precisely ONCE with Harry Potter and that's it - and start looking for Netflix, HBO, Starz, etc. to make it into a series. DOUBLY so if you plan to cram it all into one movie. ED: The thing I find funniest about all this is studios are killing each other trying to FORCE cinematic universes, and then they get a story that's all about a mega shared universe and they try to cram it into a single unshared movie. With a little more careful planning they could have spread Dark Tower out with a whole line of King movies that are connected but nope. Blazing Ownager fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Aug 11, 2017 |
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Aug 11, 2017 01:27
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I mean, they're remaking The Mist of all things into a miniseries. They could've had thinnies and everything in the Dark Tower movies/mini-series along with it as part of that universe.
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Aug 11, 2017 12:28
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biracial bear for uncut posted:I mean, they're remaking The Mist of all things into a miniseries. They could've had thinnies and everything in the Dark Tower movies/mini-series along with it as part of that universe. I did think that in Jake's dream at the start, with the Dark Tower being destroyed and the Todash beings coming over New York, that it was made to resemble the clouds from the beginning of the Mist movie. I do wish we had gotten an actual lobstrosity in here and then in the Mist, though. For some reason, I just really want to see a lobstrosity. The funny thing is, the adaptation of 11-22-63 of all things included a ton of references to other King works. They even had a Flagg cameo.
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Aug 11, 2017 15:53
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biracial bear for uncut posted:I mean, they're remaking The Mist of all things into a miniseries. They could've had thinnies and everything in the Dark Tower movies/mini-series along with it as part of that universe. Yeah, and The Mist TV show completely misses the point of that, as well, and changes the mist into some kind of thing that judges your soul and kills you or not based on that, or something.
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Aug 11, 2017 16:12
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this, Gerald's Game, and IT are all in theaters this year and I'm willing to bet that the worst book, Gerald's Game, turns out to be the best film Sony if you want to really make money with Stephen King properties do one of the Bachman Books, preferably Running Man or The Long Walk
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Aug 11, 2017 16:17
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DLC Inc posted:Sony if you want to really make money with Stephen King properties do one of the Bachman Books, preferably Running Man or The Long Walk I have to believe that whichever studio has the rights is frantically working to make a new version of the Running Man that is nothing but a vehicle for references to Donald Trump.
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Aug 11, 2017 16:28
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DLC Inc posted:this, Gerald's Game, and IT are all in theaters this year and I'm willing to bet that the worst book, Gerald's Game, turns out to be the best film I had no idea Gerald's Game was getting an adaption. I am an absolute Stephen King nerd, but that book is hot trash. Yikes.
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Aug 11, 2017 16:32
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*in a very Holywood Guy voice* "We can shoot it cheap, it's got a famous author's name behind it, and there's nudity in like every scene!"
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Aug 11, 2017 16:44
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Fart City posted:I had no idea Gerald's Game was getting an adaption. I am an absolute Stephen King nerd, but that book is hot trash. Yikes. Rita Hayworth and the Shawskank Redemption was pretty dull, but it made a great movie. So many weird choices. Like we didn't really need to see the evil from beyond the Tower's force-field acting like dead loved ones. We could have just had a big red lobster beast charging out to attack everyone. Instead you had a murky fight scene where you're having to decipher exactly what's going on. And for people in a world where everything wants to kill you, they sure light a lot of camp fires.
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Aug 11, 2017 16:54
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DLC Inc posted:this, Gerald's Game, and IT are all in theaters this year and I'm willing to bet that the worst book, Gerald's Game, turns out to be the best film The Jaunt
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Aug 11, 2017 18:02
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I'd love to see a proper adaption of N. It's King doing Lovecraft, and it loving rocks.
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Aug 11, 2017 18:10
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Fried Watermelon posted:The Jaunt Hell yea. Fart City posted:I'd love to see a proper adaption of N. It's King doing Lovecraft, and it loving rocks. This too. I just read it, and loved it.
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Aug 11, 2017 18:17
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The Jaunt would work better as an episode of some Twighlight Zone/Outer Limits-esque anthology. It's great but there's not enough there to hold up a feature.
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Aug 11, 2017 18:19
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Gerald's Game sounds like it would have fit right in on like a 90s "quirky" premium cable anthology that allowed/showcased boobs. Maybe even the 90s Outer Limits.
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Aug 11, 2017 18:23
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Gerald's Game rules, it's a horror novel that is actually horrifying.
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Aug 11, 2017 18:35
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