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Throwing weapons were a mistake! 
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Aug 11, 2017 01:17
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ZeeToo posted:Throwing weapons were a mistake! Throwing weapons worked just fine. 
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Aug 11, 2017 01:22
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 I plan to run fight(s) Sunday. Either be ready or let me know if you need more time.
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Aug 11, 2017 17:09
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Welp, that was a quick death. Luckily I still contributed.
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Aug 11, 2017 17:24
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Dance Officer posted:Welp, that was a quick death. Luckily I still contributed. Probably the first time in DFAC history someone got hit by three projectiles at once, and you still survived to get a vital shot in.
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Aug 11, 2017 17:38
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Where's mAh arena
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Aug 13, 2017 18:24
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Aug 13, 2017 19:18
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Oh yeah forgot about that
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Aug 13, 2017 19:21
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So tell these jackwagons to update their lovely fighters so Zee can do what he does and run fights until my fighter loses and makes me hate him even more.
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Aug 13, 2017 23:34
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Update your fighters you pricks
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Aug 13, 2017 23:35
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Okay all fighters have been updated, I checked, go ahead and start the round.
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Aug 13, 2017 23:36
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AREEEEEENAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
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Aug 14, 2017 03:20
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im not spending my points
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Aug 14, 2017 05:56
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Looking forward to see just how ineffective those points were, bring on the murder.
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Aug 15, 2017 00:06
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Actually let's just wait a couple weeks, why be hasty?
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Aug 15, 2017 00:38
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Oops I forgot to check the thread for 2 weeks.
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Aug 15, 2017 07:32
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Vox Nihili posted:Oops I forgot to check the thread for 2 weeks. You know, you still have full permissions on the site to run any fight you want. I mean, if you wanted to. Just putting that out there. 
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Aug 15, 2017 17:28
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Round 2, Fight 1 Three Strong Women & Frick (1-0) is on the left side of the arena. Deep AI Generated Kobold (jon joe) is a female kobold. She wields an iron pick and wears no armor. NotTheEuphrates (Fuubi) is a female tigerman. She wields a bronze pilum and wears a copper cap. Frick (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields a copper pilum and wears no armor. Daisy (Verbal Enema) is a female werewolf. She wields a silver war hammer and wears an iron helm and an iron mail shirt. Arm Reduction (0-1) is on the right side of the arena. Werepupper (synthorange) is a female werewolf. She wields a bronze pilum and wears a copper cap and a bronze mail shirt. THROW to meet you! (Tunicate) is a female serpent man. She is empty handed and wears a bronze helm, a bronze mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and leather high boots. Arms Race (my dad) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields two copper throwing axes and wears no armor. Fourwarned Is (ZeeToo) is a female soldier ant woman. She wields two wooden shields and an iron throwing axe and wears a copper mail shirt.  Three Strong Women & Frick is a 1.58 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 4633.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2938.00 dwarfbucks for Arm Reduction.   Javelins and an axe fly through the arena. The werewolf top right, Werepupper, takes two direct hits! Armor absorbs the blow and bends his hip slightly. No big deal. All other projectiles are dodged.  Fourwarned and Deep AI are the first two injuries. THROW latches onto the kobolds tiny arm while at the same time Daisy smashes Fourwarned's leg so hard it dislocates at the knee.  Deep AI never even got a chance to play before venom courses through his veins and paralyzes the tiny creature. THROW to meet you just got hit so hard he seems to have moved a tile. Lets take a look.  Daisy planted her hammer so deep into his chest it got stuck. :whatthechrist:  Three more projectiles miss entirely. Three new gladiators move to engage in the center. Werepupper top right has one more javelin.  Before Frick and NotTheEuphrates can arrive on the scene Fourwarned removes the Deep AI's head. It's not all fun and games though. At the exact same time Daisy's hammer snaps Throw's head back so hard it paralyzes the snakeman entirely. He can only open and close his mouth, can't wiggle around. He's basically useless. No one could possibly be dumb enough to get bitten by a creature that can't move right?  Werepupper launches his last javelin, his aim looks good!  Daisy smashes the javelin out of the air with her hammer. I've never seen anything so amazing in my life. Wait, check that. I have seen something so amazing once before.  And now everyone is in the melee. Daisy is singleminded and continues to beat on the paralyzed snake. Fourwarned takes advantage and slices the distracted werewolfs hand deeply. Arms Race swings at Frick and connects with the kobolds left calf. Muscle is sheared in twain and Frick falls to the floor.  What did I just say you stupid tiger? He can't loving move. How did he bite you? You just stuck a hand in there? What did you expect? And just like that things snowball for Three Strong Women & Frick.  Frick, already half mutilated, gets paralyzed and becomes enraged from Arms Race's powerful fist.  Arms Race removes his head.  Throw to Meet you is still hanging on despite being mostly flattened by Daisy.  You deserved every single bit of this, NotTheEuphrates.  Throw finally bleeds to death, the kill technically goes to NotTheEuphrates just to skew the scoreboard so Fuubi can say "look my gladiator wasn't useless, she got a kill!"  Fourwarned takes another head, then all three gladiators move on Daisy.  Daisy has felt better.  Werepupper gets the kill after everyone smashes Daisys armor for what seems an eternity. Arm Reduction wins that handily with a 4-1 victory. Kills: Fourwarned: 2 Arms Race: 1 Werepupper: 1 NotTheEuphrates: 1 Combat Log 
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Aug 16, 2017 18:15
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Goddamnit
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Aug 16, 2017 19:46
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All small critters with little armor seems to lead to pretty brutal outcomes
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Aug 16, 2017 19:52
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Look my gladiator wasn't useless, she got a kill! yay...
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Aug 16, 2017 22:32
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Man I still can't believe how well I started off just to be beaten into my own armor I SMACKED A JAVELIN OUT OF THE AIR WITH MY HAMMER
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Aug 17, 2017 03:09
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Nice! Whats with the constant misgendering though, there's only one dude in the match.
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Aug 17, 2017 03:16
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Synthbuttrange posted:Whats with the constant misgendering though, there's only one dude in the match. You are a 28 year old white male. Everyone on the internet is a 28 year old white male to me. In arena challenge everyone is a dude unless for some reason it sticks in my head that they are a girl (like all antwomen). Run some fights, keep all the poo poo straight in your head. You can do better than me. It's fun, c'mon, be a commish.
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Aug 17, 2017 12:35
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If the update schedule stays consistent, I'll be back from vacation before the round is over! ... In other news, I'll be on vacation next week and won't be able to update my fighter.
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Aug 17, 2017 14:48
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Round 2, Fight 4 Big Trouble (1-0) is on the left side of the arena. A copper hammer wielding dwarf (Bad Munki) is a female tigerman. She wields an iron pilum and wears an iron cap, an iron mail shirt, and iron low boots. Chuck (Mygna) is a male minotaur. He wields a bronze pilum and wears no armor. Captain Jodariel (dmboogie) is a female troll. She wields a copper two-handed sword and a silver two-handed sword and wears a silver helm and copper low boots. Meteor Spin (I R SMART LIKE ROCK) is a female tigerman. She wields an iron great axe and a wooden shield and wears no armor. Projectile Vomit (1-0) is on the right side of the arena. Mole Foley (Maarak) is a male molemarian. He is empty handed and wears a steel helm, leather armor, and a steel mail shirt. Spermy Munki (Frozen_Flame) is a male dwarf. He wields a silver war hammer and wears an iron helm. Buy Buy Buy! (Splode) is a male minotaur. He wields an iron spear and wears a copper cap, an iron mail shirt, and iron leggings. Thor the Warrior (Klokwurk) is a male human. He wields an iron throwing axe and wears leather leggings.  Projectile Vomit is a 1.07 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 7831.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 7294.00 dwarfbucks for Big Trouble.   3 projectiles fly, 3 projectiles miss without even needing a dodge.  It's 2v4 in the center of the arena. Projectile Vomit has the upper hand in numbers. Can they capitalize before the rest of the big guys get there?  Captain Jodariel loses the use of a leg to Thor's axe. Spermy Munki piles on and shatters his the trolls elbow. That means Captain Jodariel can't hold her sword and it falls to the floor. But wait, Captain Jodariel has two huge swords and the other one pierces Mole Foley's right forearm and cuts tendons and muscle.  A Copper Hammer Dwarf throws her javelin and it's a hit, but not a huge one on Mole Foley.  Chuck throws his last javelin which is absorbed by Buy Buy Buy's armor. Captain Jodariel and Mole Foley continue to damage each other with stabs and bites. Thor and Spermy Munki help their teammate and the huge troll has an axe embedded in her as well as a being paralyzed from the waist down by a hammer. Meteor Spin swings at the distracted Thor and sends his upper leg flying. I have no idea where the lower leg is, but I assume it's attached to the upper leg windmilling through the air.  Meteor Spin changes targets and spills Spermy Munki's guts on the floor. The dwarf passes out immediately.  Buy Buy Buy stabs Copper Hammer Dwarf in the head which doesn't kill the tigerwoman, but she's knocked out of the fight. A second stab pierces the brain, ending the oddly named gladiator.  Meteor Spin chops the unconscious dwarf in half and now it's all evened up at 3v3. At the same time Thor, from the ground, manages to smash Chuck's knee sideways so hard that tendons rip. The huge minotaur falls to the floor. Buy Buy Buy lances his spear into the newly fallen minotaurs stomach. Guts are pierced, pain is felt.  Thor, now in range of the minotaurs head, ends his life.  Meteor Spin is now the recipient of two fighters attacks. Thor accepts an axe to the stomach in return for removing the tigers hand, forcing the axe to the floor.  Thor is in severe distress (blinking PALE which means about zero blood left in him), but Buy Buy Buy and Moley Foley take over and Meteor Spin is knocked unconscious. With what I assume his last act will be, Thor removes a second head of the match.  It's 2v1 now, an unhurt minotaur and a nearly-dead-from-bloodloss moleman against a paralyzed troll.  It actually takes a lot longer than I thought it would. Buy Buy Buy gets the kill. Projectile Vomit wins with a very close 4-2 victory. One gladiator standing was basically unharmed, but the other one was nearly dead from blood loss. Kills: Buy Buy Buy: 2 Thor the Warrior: 2 Meteor Spin: 2 Combat Log 
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Aug 18, 2017 16:50
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I was hoping to see the troll dual-wielding two-handed swords do more, looking at the past log I see one crushed ear. Good fight otherwise
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Aug 18, 2017 19:29
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Selious posted:I was hoping to see the troll dual-wielding two-handed swords do more, looking at the past log I see one crushed ear. Good fight otherwise Me too, buddy 
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Aug 18, 2017 19:58
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I hope you choke on all my dorfbux, you bastards!
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Aug 18, 2017 20:38
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I'd like to thank the academy
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Aug 19, 2017 05:13
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It's not the winning or losing that's important, it's the taking some of your money. Thor continues his streak of getting his legs hosed up early on.
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Aug 19, 2017 19:00
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*Checks the arena floor* ...dry. Hey, these bloodstains are way too old! The arena demands fresh blood!
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Aug 22, 2017 14:21
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Round 2, Fight 3 The Windy Whirly Farters (0-1) is on the left side of the arena. Hacksy Axy (Gnoman) is a male dwarf. He wields a bronze throwing axe and wears a bronze helm, a bronze breast plate, and bronze leggings. Fartley Buttockchum (fallingdownjoe) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron maul and wears an iron mail shirt. Windybold (pantherrpg) is a male kobold. He wields an iron throwing axe and wears no armor. Whirl Dwarf One (Afriscipio) is a female dwarf. She wields a silver flail and wears an iron mail shirt. Morning Routine (0-1) is on the right side of the arena. The Shaver of Beards (Cythereal) is a male elf. He wields an iron halberd and wears no armor. Bogroll (Maugrim) is a male goblin. He wields a steel great axe and wears a copper cap, a copper mail shirt, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Thys Akimbo (grobbendonk) is a female minotaur. She is empty handed and wears an iron helm and an iron breast plate. Game of Throwns (Cathode Raymond) is a male strangler. He wields two copper pilums and wears an iron helm and an iron mail shirt.  Morning Routine is a 1.37 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3031.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 2216.00 dwarfbucks for The Windy Whirly Farters.  Two projectiles fly from The Windy Whirly Farters while one flies from Game of Throwns on the right.  The Shaver of Beards dodges one and takes a throwing axe through his stomach. He's in pain already, bleeding heavily.  It doesn't seem to slow the elf down any!  The moleman Fartly takes severe damage right off the bat. His right arm is nearly severed by Bogroll's huge axe, then his eye is exploded by Shaver of Beards, and then the elf strikes again and Fartly's right arm is severed completely. At nearly the same time Bogroll swings again and Hacksy Axy's left foot is cut in half which sends the dwarf to the floor.  Fartly's right arm is still pinwheeling through the air when Shaver of Beards removes his left forearm which causes the moleman to drop his iron maul (obviously). Shaver of Beards surprises everyone by charging the armless Fartly and tackling him to the floor.  And that's got to be some kind of record. 3 limbs flying through the air at once. Shaver of Beards is really good with that iron halberd.  Another javelin flies from Game of Throwns. It bruises Hacksy Axy's thigh. The real problem Hacksy Axy is having is that he just lost a hand to Bogroll. Need to take the good with the bad though, and Hacksy just penetrated Shaver of Beards foot and sent the elf to dreamland. I haven't said anything about Whirl Dwarf One and Thys Akimbo. Thys is grabbing the dwarf and releasing like a pro wrassler. Whirl Dwarf is swinging and landing a lot of hits with the silver flail but it's just bouncing off of armor. It's really uninteresting so I have tried to spare you that.  Whirlybold leans in after a long dodging absence and chops off Shaver of Beards head.  Thys Akimbo gets the kill when Fartly bleeds out. The minotaur grabbed and released the moleman. That still counts as getting the kill in DF. Whirl Dwarf One lands with a thud after being thrown by Thys Akimbo.  One last javelin and Game of Throwns charges the fight.  That was neat. Hacksy is a dodgy little fucker isn't he?  It's technically 3v3, but the home team has one fighter on the verge of death (Hacksy) so it's more like 2v3.  It's a twofer. Whirl Dwarf One is caught by the huge minotaur who bends limbs in odd directions. Whirl Dwarf One passes out. Windybold has dodged and parried everything up until now. He's completely uninjured except for his head is sent flying by Bogroll.  Bogroll takes another kill.  And another. Morning Routine wins with a 4-1 victory after a disastrous opening volley. Kills: Bogroll: 3 Thys Akimbo: 1 Windybold: 1 Combat Log 
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Aug 22, 2017 15:37
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Wow. I've managed to win 3 bets in a row. I'm impressed with my guessing skills.
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Aug 22, 2017 21:18
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Well, the leggings proved to be a good investment (going by the combat log), but I should have bought boots too.
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Aug 22, 2017 21:29
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A Good Result. Although, Bogroll made far more of a meal of all that than the kill tallies suggest. Literally so, at the point where he bit off Windybold's middle finger. I'm assuming the dodgy little fucker had made a rude gesture.
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Aug 23, 2017 00:22
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Alright I'm back, and gently caress yeah I got some kills in
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Aug 23, 2017 14:50
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I'm learning a couple of things from this tournament: a) I'm really bad at betting and b) my attempt to make a maul-wielding Moleman has proven pretty disastrous so far.
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Aug 23, 2017 15:37
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Hey Vox, run my fight.
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Aug 23, 2017 20:39
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Spermy Smurf posted:Hey Vox, run my fight. I'm open to others running it as well, I just want blood
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Aug 25, 2017 21:01
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