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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 9, 2024 22:44
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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quote:
"Paper thin, that's what I am now," you say. "It must have been from not having enough oxygen and breathing that bad cave air."
Beautiful. Amazing.
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Aug 17, 2017 08:34
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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This ghostwriter feels like they're either having a stroke, or writing a book with each hand and this is the one they're not looking at.
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Aug 17, 2017 08:35
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- Blockhouse
- Sep 7, 2014
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You Win!
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You know what? gently caress this whole thing and Go back to the cabin. Maybe the other primary route will make me feel less like my brain is trying to climb out of my skull.
We can come back to get the cave route ending after we get some distance between us and loving paper lantern people.
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Aug 17, 2017 09:29
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- VivaLa Eeveelution
- Apr 3, 2011
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...did Denny write this? Prove to me that he didn't.
Oh. Sure. Cabin. Whatever.
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Aug 17, 2017 10:01
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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Yeah, let's go back to the cabin.
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Aug 17, 2017 10:06
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- CaptainCaveman
- Apr 16, 2005
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Always searching for North.
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Enter the cave.
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Aug 17, 2017 10:57
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I got exactly what I asked for and I'm still disappointed.
let's just go to the cabin, this path is too nuts
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Aug 17, 2017 18:15
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
The full moon, the black sky, and the thought of werewolves in the woods help you decide what to do. You are definitely going back to the cabin. You can always hunt for the box in the morning.
As you walk along the path back to Evergreen Cabin, Lauren catches up with you. "I'm sure glad you're back this summer. This werewolf thing is really bad for business!"
"You don't really believe there are werewolves in these woods, do you, Lauren?" you ask.
"I didn't until I started hearing the howling," she says quietly. "Have you heard it yet?"
"Give me a break!" You laugh as you reach your cabin. "It's probably just the wind blowing through the trees."
"Yeah, probably," Lauren agrees. She nervously twists a strand of her long black hair around her finger. "Well, see you tomorrow."
The lights are all out in the cabin. You enter quietly. You tiptoe past your parents' and the Morrises' rooms. They're all sleeping. But you hear a noise coming from the room you are sharing with Todd. What is it?
quote:
The noise you hear is Todd crying into his pillow. You are too tired to talk now. Instead, you kick off your sneakers and climb into your bed with your clothes on. Just as you start to drift off to sleep, you hear HOW-OW-OW-OW-OWL!
"Did you hear that?" Todd cries. He jumps out of bed and hurries over to your bedside. The light from the full moon casts an eerie glow over Todd's terrified face.
"Don't be afraid. It's only the wind howling," you mutter.
HOW-OW-OW-OWL!
Todd leaps onto your bed and screams, "It's a wild animal!"
Before you can answer, a rock with a note attached flies through your open window and lands on the wooden floor. You push Todd aside and wriggle out of bed. You pick the rock up, tear the note off, and read aloud:
quote:
"The Werewolves of WoodsWorld
They love to see red,
So the box that was Todd's
Is now their box instead!
The Werewolves of WoodsWorld
Disappear at dawn,
So you must find the box
Before this night is gone!"
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"Okay, Todd," you announce. You fold up the note and slip it into the pocket of your jeans. "This means war!"
"Yeah!" Todd agrees with a sudden burst of courage. He grips your arm and asks, "What werewolves? Where?"
"That's exactly what we're going to find out," you reply. You quickly fill Todd in on Sharky's story about the werewolves. You slip your sneakers back on as Todd pulls jeans over his Looney Tunes pajamas. Then, holding a flashlight in one hand and a nervous Todd in the other, you sneak out the front door.
Slowly, you and Todd creep down the porch steps. You step onto the grass and stop.
You hear rustling in the bushes near the cabin.
"Who's there?" you demand in a loud whisper.
The only answer is another haunting howl from somewhere deep in the woods. Clouds cover the full moon now, making it difficult to see the path.
You spot two sets of blinking lights in the distance. Two red lights blink in the direction of the path leading to the beach. Two white lights blink in the opposite direction, down a path that leads deep into the woods.
"Which way?" Todd asks, clinging to your arm.
To investigate the red lights, turn to PAGE 75.
Check out the white lights, go to PAGE 30.
Picking the red lights just sends you back to the cave, so let's check out the white lights.
quote:
You decide to take the path through the woods that leads to the white lights.
"Please hurry," Todd begs you. "I need my box back. Those pewter figures are like my best friends."
"We'll get them back or my name isn't Phineas Z. Smeltzenseltzer!" you say.
"But your name isn't Phineas Z. Smeltzenseltzer," Todd answers. He misses the joke completely.
"Oh, brother!" you sigh. "Come on, Todd. Let's follow this path." You start to hike into the woods. The path is lined with a wall of thick, dark bushes.
"Two lights probably mean double trouble," Todd warns. He follows too closely behind you. He keeps stepping on your heels.
"More like triple trouble when you're dealing with the Murphy brothers," you add. You don't really care about Todd's box. But you don't think the bullies should wreck anyone's vacation at WoodsWorld. Not even nerdy Todd's vacation.
A strange noise ahead on the path catches your and Todd's attention. It sounds like twigs cracking.
"What's that?" Todd asks, clinging to your arm.
quote:
You hear the noise again. And then you spot a person hiding in the shadows of an evergreen tree.
"W-who's there?" you stutter. You shine your flashlight toward the person's face.
"Lauren!" you cry. "What are you doing out here so late?"
Lauren Woods squints into the glare of the flashlight. "Hey! Get that light out of my eyes!" she calls. You point the beam of light at the ground, as Lauren steps out from behind the tree.
"I saw weird lights blinking outside my cabin window. I decided to investigate," Lauren explains. "What about you? Why are you creeping around the woods at night?"
"The Murphy brothers stole Todd's red tin box with his pewter figure collection in it," you tell her. You introduce Lauren to Todd, and then continue. "We're out looking for it."
"I'll help," Lauren volunteers. "Let's just hope we find the box and not the Murphys! They're bigger and meaner than - ooops!"
Lauren trips on something and grabs onto Todd. Todd reaches out for you. Like dominoes, you all fall down in a line. Your flashlight shines on a mound of freshly dug dirt. You glance around. There are a lot of piles of dirt.
"Hey," you say. "Either we've landed in a gopher's paradise, or someone has buried something here. Let's start digging!"
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All three of you pick a different mound of fresh dirt and start digging with your hands. In minutes you and Lauren stand up at the exact same time and shout, "I found it!"
You both are holding up identical-looking red tin boxes.
"My collection!" Todd shrieks.
You take a closer look at the two boxes. "Sorry, Todd," you announce. "I don't think either one of these boxes is the one we're looking for."
Lauren hands you the box she found. You show Todd that one box is labeled SMARTS BOX. The other is labeled SUPER-STRENGTH BOX. You are just about to open them, when you hear a chilling HOW-OW-OW-OW-OWL!
A thunderous crashing noise comes from the woods in front of you. Something is coming toward you! Fear grips you. You clutch the two boxes tightly.
HOW-OW-OW-OW-OWL!
You dash across the path and crouch behind a large rock.
The wall of bushes bursts apart. A snarling, red-eyed, sharp-fanged beast bounds through the leaves.
"Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!" Todd and Lauren scream.
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"It's a werewolf!" Todd yells in horror.
Lauren covers her eyes and screams, "I can't look!"
The darkness makes it impossible to see clearly. And you're afraid to turn your flashlight on the beast. You can just barely make out the form of the werewolf. It's standing on all four legs.
Todd and Lauren are cornered by the beast. They are screaming for help. The werewolf hasn't spotted you yet. You have no weapons. What can you do?
But wait! You've got it! The boxes! Maybe one of the boxes will help you!
If you open the SMARTS BOX, maybe you will be able to figure out a genius plan to defeat the werewolf. But, then again, if you are SUPER STRONG, you can fight the werewolf and win. Which box should you open first?
If you choose the SMARTS BOX, hurry to PAGE 50.
If you choose the SUPER-STRENGTH BOX, go to PAGE 95.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
 Super-Strength Box
Smarts Box
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
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Aug 18, 2017 18:00
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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I'm glad we stick with Todd no matter what, he's the one bright spot in this ever-shifting landscape of nonsense. Let's wrestle a wolf.
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Aug 18, 2017 18:04
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- VivaLa Eeveelution
- Apr 3, 2011
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Use the Quad Damage and hit something. Or learn that it's labelled 'SUPER STRONG' because you need to be strong to open the box.
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Aug 18, 2017 18:18
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
"Have no fear, super-strength is here!" you call out. Lauren and Todd are still screaming. The werewolf moves closer and closer to them.
Using your ordinary strength, you open the box. You expect to see some mega-vitamins. Instead the box is filled with very ordinary-looking oat O's cereal.
The werewolf snarls. Then it lunges right for Todd's throat.
"Save us!" Todd shouts.
"Here goes," you say. You toss a fistful of O's into your mouth. The effect is instant. Super-strength fills your body. Your shirt rips at the seams. Enormous muscles bulge and burst out of the torn material.
"Wow!" you gasp. "This could be fun!"
But you know that looks aren't everything. Are these new muscles as strong as they appear to be?
The werewolf is ready to dig its fangs into Todd's neck. You flex your muscles. Another seam tears open at the shoulder of your shirt. You place a finger under the werewolf's arm and start to lift.
"Oh, no. I hope this works," you pray.
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"I did it!" you shout. You're amazed at your power. With no trouble at all you lift the surprised werewolf in the air - just by the strength of one finger!
And just to teach the werewolf a lesson, you twirl it around in the air above your head. Then you fling the beast far, far into the woods. Your super strength did the job!
*"HOW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OWL!" cries the airborne werewolf all the way into the dark woods.
"You really do have super strength!" Todd cries. "You have all the power now!"
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"Not so fast," says a scratchy little voice from out of nowhere. "I am the one with all the power here!"
You all gasp when you see who's talking. A troll no more than one and a half feet high. He is standing on a rock with his tiny feet apart, fists curled, and a smirk on a wart-filled green face.
"I am the Master of the Box! Whoever eats from the SUPER-STRENGTH BOX is my servant!" The troll stares right at you with his beady black eyes. Then he laughs in your face. "Ha! You think you have power, pipsqueak? That beast you just hurled was nothing but a small dog until I fed him my magic O's. I have the power. Only I have it! Bow down to your master, slave!"
"I'm not your slave!" you fire back at him. You flex the muscles on your arms. Your arms now look like a mountain range. "I could flatten you in a second!"
You could. But will you?
If you ask Todd and Lauren for advice, go to PAGE 25.
If you choose to grab a nearby branch and swat the troll, go to PAGE 56.
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Super-Strength O's
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
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Aug 18, 2017 20:37
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- Android Blues
- Nov 22, 2008
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Todd knows what's up. Lauren too, I guess. Also, the description of our rippling, mountainous body is perhaps by accident the scariest thing this book has thrown at me yet.
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Aug 18, 2017 20:44
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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What the heck even is this book
let's team up so we suffer together
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Aug 18, 2017 22:36
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- Blockhouse
- Sep 7, 2014
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You Win!
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I don't
I can't
why would
troll man
but werewolves
the first one
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Aug 18, 2017 22:42
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- risky business
- Oct 9, 2012
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Barns?
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I like how the book keeps trying and failing to remember what it's about. Is this book about werewolves? Weird soul entrapping candles? Magic cereal? Dinosaurs? Who knows!
Ask your friends for tips.
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Aug 18, 2017 23:17
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- CaptainCaveman
- Apr 16, 2005
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Always searching for North.
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Ask.
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Aug 19, 2017 01:42
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- Rebonack7
- Aug 27, 2015
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quote:
Ask Todd and Lauren for advice? Forget it! They saw what the SUPER-STRENGTH cereal did for you. Now they're both gobbling up a handful of it, too. In seconds Todd and Lauren have both turned into muscle-bound hulks. The three of you show off your giant muscles for each other.
"This is so cool!" Lauren exclaims. She lifts a huge boulder without even straining.
"Power!" Todd declares, raising a fallen tree trunk above his head.
"Hahahahahahahahahaha!" The evil laughter of the menacing troll fills the woods. You cover your ears to keep out the awful sound.
The troll has had just about enough of you three now. He puckers up his thick, blubbery lips and whistles. Instantly, Lauren drops the boulder. Todd drops the tree trunk.
"Roll over!" the troll orders.
Todd and Lauren fall to the ground and roll over. Their super strength has been zapped. But how?
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You notice that the ugly troll's commands have no effect on you. It doesn't take a genius to figure out the reason you've escaped his control. Your hands are still covering your ears! You can't hear the whistle that seems to have put Todd and Lauren into some kind of trance. Without the vibrations of his whistle in your ears, your power to resist the troll is still strong.
Aha! you think. So he doesn't have all the power after all!
Whoops. You shouldn't have even thought that. The troll read your mind. And to prove you wrong, he says a troll word that sounds like Gyzacck!
You have no idea what that means, but you do know one thing - it's time to grab Lauren and Todd and get out of here.
"Run!" you shout into their faces. Their trance-like stares are broken at the sound of your voice. "Run!" you yell again.
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"Gyzacck!"
"Gyzacck!"
"Gyzacck!"
Hey! What's going on here? It isn't the troll saying this weird word. It's Lauren and Todd and you!
You've run away from the troll, but before you left him he played a very mean trick. He stole all your vocabulary words and replaced them with just one word. Gyzacck!
You open your mouth to speak to Lauren. "Gyzacck!"
She opens her mouth to answer. "Gyzacck!"
And Todd cries, "Gyzacck!"
What does "Gyzacck" mean? Well, it can only mean one thing. For you and your friends this is
GYZACCK!
Character Sheet posted:
Inventory
Super-Strength O's
Goal Endings: 0/2
Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Gyzacck!
Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
Gyzacck: Gyzacck? Gyzacck.
Our options posted:
- Enter the cave.
- Howl at the werewolves.
- Fly up to the werewolves.
- Open the Smarts Box.
- Swat the troll.
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Aug 19, 2017 01:42
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- CaptainCaveman
- Apr 16, 2005
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Always searching for North.
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This book is amazing in all the worst ways,.
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Aug 19, 2017 03:30
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- Leraika
- Jun 14, 2015
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Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.
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I can't wait to see what happens when we bully a troll
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Aug 19, 2017 03:57
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- Blockhouse
- Sep 7, 2014
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You Win!
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it cannot possibly be this hard to write 130 pages abot werewolves
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Aug 19, 2017 04:04
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 9, 2024 22:44
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- risky business
- Oct 9, 2012
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Barns?
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I think we've hit the point where the author just had a dartboard with random words on it. We just hit 'cereal', 'troll', and a stray shot that hit the dictionary that he cut everything else out of.
Let's hit a troll.
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Aug 19, 2017 04:09
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Aug 16, 2017 21:42
