Current Events August 2017: A Song of Tweets and Fire

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Current Events August 2017: A Song of Tweets and Fire

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Professor Bling posted:

This. And now the resurgent extremist fringe of the Republican party can point to this as Trump turning "lieberal" and abandoning True Republicanism, with Bannon pushing that narrative until the cows come home.

Holy poo poo, I had no idea that saying existed in English.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 18:58

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 5, 2024 21:50

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

Senior Editor at Breitbart

https://twitter.com/joelpollak/status/898595085247324161

Interesting times ahead.

https://twitter.com/costareports/status/898598473016016896

facialimpediment fucked around with this message at 19:01 on Aug 18, 2017

# ? Aug 18, 2017 18:59

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

I'm more inclined to believe Bannon left for his own benefit. No one is getting poo poo done under Trump.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:00

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Nick Soapdish posted:

https://twitter.com/RosieGray/status/898594528961208320?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw

Dbannon.

The D is silent.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:01

bloops: Dec 31, 2010; Thanks Ape Pussy!

Buzzfeed reporting that Mueller is focused on Trump Jr.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/aramroston/special-counsel-focuses-on-trumps-son?utm_term=.vtDnZYOq7#.bqVol2bNm

Also Pod Save America has an interview up with the Vice reporter who did the Charlottesville piece. She's been reporting on them for over a year now and has some really nice insight.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:25

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

While Bannon quit/firing was happening, Trump approved elevating CYBERCOM.

quote:

WASHINGTON � President Donald Trump has approved a long-delayed Pentagon plan to create an independent and more aggressive cyber command in order to beef up cyberwar operations against the Islamic State group and other foes.

The White House announcement Friday means U.S. Cyber Command may eventually be split off from the intelligence-focused National Security Agency.

For now, Trump has agreed to raise the stature of Cyber Command within the military and give it more autonomy.

�This new Unified Combatant Command will strengthen our cyberspace operations and create more opportunities to improve our nation�s defense,� Trump said in a written statement. �The elevation of United States Cyber Command demonstrates our increased resolve against cyberspace threats and will help reassure our allies and partners and deter our adversaries.�

Making cyber an independent military command will put the fight in digital space on the same footing as more traditional realms of battle on land, in the air, at sea and in space. The move reflects the escalating threat of cyberattacks and intrusions from other nation states, terrorist groups and hackers, and comes as the U.S. faces ever-widening fears about Russian hacking following Moscow�s efforts to meddle in the 2016 American election.

The goal is to give Cyber Command more autonomy, freeing it from any constraints that stem from working alongside the NSA, which is responsible for monitoring and collecting telephone, internet and other intelligence data from around the world � a responsibility that can sometimes clash with military operations against enemy forces.

Sen. John McCain praised the move, saying the administration must now develop a clear policy and strategy for deterring and responding to cyber threats.

Kenneth Rapuano, the assistant secretary of defense for homeland defense, told reporters Friday that elevating the status of Cyber Command will give it a bigger voice in advocating for resources to fight cyber threats.

The plan has been languishing since last year when then-Defense Secretary Ash Carter sent a proposal to President Barack Obama to make Cyber Command an independent military headquarters and break it away from the NSA. At the time, he believed that the NSA�s desire to collect intelligence was preventing the military from eliminating IS� ability to raise money, inspire attacks and command its widely dispersed network of fighters.

After Trump�s inauguration, officials said Defense Secretary Jim Mattis endorsed much of the plan. But debate over details dragged on for months.

Officials say the Pentagon plan sent to the White House calls for Army Lt. Gen. William Mayville to be nominated to lead Cyber Command, although that has not been announced. Leadership of the NSA could be turned over to a civilian.

The U.S. has long operated quietly in cyberspace, using it to collect information, disrupt enemy networks and aid conventional military missions. But as other nations and foes expand their use of cyberspying and attacks, the U.S. is determined to improve its ability to incorporate cyber operations into its everyday warfighting.

The NSA, however, has a great deal of expertise, and officials acknowledge it will take some time for a more independent Cyber Command to get up to speed. Until then, Cyber Command and NSA will operate under a single, �dual-hatted� military commander. The cyber operation currently relies on the NSA�s expertise, staff and equipment.

The two highly secretive organizations, based at Fort Meade, Maryland, have been under the same four-star commander since Cyber Command�s creation in 2009.

But the Defense Department has been agitating for a separation, perceiving the NSA and intelligence community as resistant to more aggressive cyberwarfare, particularly after the Islamic State�s transformation in recent years from an obscure insurgent force into an organization holding significant territory across Iraq and Syria and with a worldwide recruiting network.

While the military wanted to attack IS networks, intelligence objectives prioritized gathering information from them, according to U.S. officials familiar with the debate. They weren�t authorized to discuss internal deliberations publicly and requested anonymity.

Cyber Command was created by the Obama administration to address threats of cyber espionage and other attacks. It was set up as a sub-unit under U.S. Strategic Command to coordinate the Pentagon�s ability to conduct cyberwarfare and to defend its own networks, including those that are used by combat forces in battle.

Officials originally said the new cyber effort would likely involve hundreds, rather than thousands, of new employees.

Since then, the command has grown to more than 700 military and civilian employees. The military services also have their own cyber units, with a goal of having, by Sept. 30, 2018, a total of 133 fully operational teams with as many as 6,200 personnel.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/trump-approves-plan-create-independent-cyber-command/

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:52

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

we're gonna get cyberwar and space branches of us military lol

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:53

facialimpediment: Feb 11, 2005; as the world turns

Nick Soapdish posted:

While Bannon quit/firing was happening, Trump approved elevating CYBERCOM.

They stumbled on an ironically good idea.

Also, this video, a simple video recap of a newsreader on CNN describing the last four weeks, is a reminder of how insane things currently are. It's a scrolling list that takes 2:43 to read out loud.

https://twitter.com/DaniellaMicaela/status/898611122533683202

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:54

Sergg: Sep 19, 2005; I was rejected by the:

*Oompa loompahs enter Situation room, knock bottle of whiskey out of Bannon's hand and begin sliding him across the table by his hands & tie*

Oompa loompah doopity doo
I've got another puzzle for you
Oompa loompah doopity dee
If you're "alt-right" you'll listen to me

What do you get when you hate all the JEWS?
And own the biggest white supremacist NEWS?
Fight with the president's son-in-LAW.
Can your own cock fit DOWN. YOUR. JAW?
That's. Some. Flexibility.

Oompa loompah doopity dee
Handjobbing Nazis; a bad strategy.
Back to the private sector with you,
Unlike the oompa loompah doopity doo!

*Ooompa loompahs swing from ceiling fans and tumble back to the ground before crowd-surfing Bannon out of the room*

DOOPITY DOO!

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:54

redneck nazgul: Apr 25, 2013

I was wondering when JFCOM was coming back.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:54

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Jesus Christ I love you Arnold

https://www.facebook.com/attn/videos/1475398805828907/

Arnold posted:

Your Heroes Are Losers

Also:
https://twitter.com/simonwiesenthal/status/898373188668674048

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:56

Professor Bling: Nov 12, 2008; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Holy poo poo, I had no idea that saying existed in English.

It exists in German? You're making GBS threads me.

Well, I've learned something today.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 19:58

Genocide Tendency: Dec 24, 2009; I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.

Duzzy Funlop posted:

Holy poo poo, I had no idea that saying existed in English.

Like Bling just said... I'm more surprised thats not a uniquely American saying. Specifically a mid-western one.

facialimpediment posted:

They stumbled on an ironically good idea.

Also, this video, a simple video recap of a newsreader on CNN describing the last four weeks, is a reminder of how insane things currently are. It's a scrolling list that takes 2:43 to read out loud.

https://twitter.com/DaniellaMicaela/status/898611122533683202

To be fair. She left off "created the first mutually agreed upon opinion in the Middle East in the last at least 2000 years".

Which is kinda an accomplishment. Except that the opinion is "Nazis are bad and so is the president who supports them".

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:09

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

MazelTovCocktail posted:

Jesus Christ I love you Arnold

https://www.facebook.com/attn/videos/1475398805828907/

Also:
https://twitter.com/simonwiesenthal/status/898373188668674048

bad politician

better in every way than Trump

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:09

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

Professor Bling posted:

You're making GBS threads me.

This is very German.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:11

MA-Horus: Dec 3, 2006; I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

There are rumors that Gorka may be on the way out too.

Chaos reigns.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:13

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

MA-Horus posted:

There are rumors that Gorka may be on the way out too.

Chaos reigns.

i don't think gorka is actually employed by the WH is he?

is he just not invited to sleepovers anymore?

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:14

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

Has there ever been a president who has had so much turmoil or gone through as many staffers as Racist Orange?

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:16

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

Syrian Lannister posted:

Has there ever been a president who has had so much turmoil or gone through as many staffers as Racist Orange?

not really a fair question since there have only been two presidents

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:18

Time Crisis Actor: Apr 28, 2002; by Hand Knit

This has been the best loving week ever. Though, Bannon is really just a mid-boss in the greater scheme of things, it's good to see him go.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:19

BigDave: Jul 14, 2009; Taste the High Country

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

i don't think gorka is actually employed by the WH is he?

is he just not invited to sleepovers anymore?

I thought he was a independent consultant, like Mindy from The West Wing.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:19

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

Syrian Lannister posted:

Has there ever been a president who has had so much turmoil or gone through as many staffers as Racist Orange?

None of the states have tried to secede yet, he hasn't been forced to resign following an espionage scandal and he hasn't blockaded a neighbouring country over nuclear brinksmanship. The bar for presidential turmoil is set pretty high.

On the other hand, he's six months into a four year term.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:20

Genocide Tendency: Dec 24, 2009; I get mental health care from the medical equivalent of Skillcraft.

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

i don't think gorka is actually employed by the WH is he?

is he just not invited to sleepovers anymore?

Gorka couldn't get a security clearance so he was never invited to the important sleepovers.

But Bannon was the one keeping Gorka/Miller/Hahn employed. Likely Gorka is getting kicked out by Kelly, Hahn will leave to follow her master. Miller will drink himself to death or someone will finally catch him burying a dead hooker and he will be forced to resign.

Then the alt-reich will collectively poo poo themselves as the last gasp of life leaves their lungs with a cry of MAGA.

Edit:

Deathy McDeath posted:

This has been the best loving week ever. Though, Bannon is really just a mid-boss in the greater scheme of things, it's good to see him go.

What?

No.

Outside of Kushner and Ivanka, Bannon was the biggest player in the White House. There is a reason everyone kept calling him President Bannon.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:21

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

bad politician

better in every way than Trump

In fairness it was California...No one can fix that.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:22

Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

not really a fair question since there have only been two presidents

loving perfect

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:22

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

BigDave posted:

I thought he was a independent consultant, like Mindy from The West Wing.

Intel analyst with ties to brietbart and alt right groups.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sebastian_Gorka

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

not really a fair question since there have only been two presidents

Gawd drat

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:23

Handsome Ralph: Sep 3, 2004; Oh boy, posting!
That's where I'm a Viking!

MazelTovCocktail posted:

Jesus Christ I love you Arnold

https://www.facebook.com/attn/videos/1475398805828907/

Also:
https://twitter.com/simonwiesenthal/status/898373188668674048

Friend of mine reposted this on facebook, of course you had idiots crawling out of the woodwork to say how wrong it was and "WHATABOUTBLMANTIFA??!?!?"

I touched the poop cause gently caress anyone playing whataboutism with Nazis.
This was my favorite part (I'm Mario)

Also, buying the gently caress outta that shirt.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:23

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

45 ACP CURES NAZIS posted:

we're gonna get cyberwar and space branches of us military lol

Probably not. More than likely it will become similar to JSOC in terms of independence and funding. Each of the branches benefit from maintaining their own internal electronic warfare/red team assets, so there's no real reason to make it a separate branch.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:28

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

https://twitter.com/kalpenn/status/898547257062174724

read the first letter of each paragraph.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:29

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

https://twitter.com/kalpenn/status/898547257062174724

read the first letter of each paragraph.

Jesus Christ that lame as poo poo.

The gold standard is still the Arnold gently caress you veto message.

Marshal Prolapse fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Aug 18, 2017

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:37

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

MazelTovCocktail posted:

Jesus Christ that lame as poo poo.

Yeah, should have gone for "W DID 9/11".

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:40

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

https://twitter.com/kalpenn/status/898547257062174724

read the first letter of each paragraph.

Didn't spell "PISSTAPE" therefore I give it 2/10

# ? Aug 18, 2017 20:40

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

why does the US Gov't always wait til Friday at 4:55PM to pass a budget?

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:03

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

To prevent people from looking into it in depth

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:06

pantslesswithwolves: Oct 28, 2008

Alex Jones is in Seattle, and someone threw coffee on him.

https://twitter.com/RealAlexJones/status/898568874395934721
(confrontation starts around 3:40)

When it was brought to Seattle PD's attention via Twitter, they had this to say:

https://twitter.com/SeattlePD/status/898648339293421569

:drat:

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:06

pkells: Sep 14, 2007; King of Klatch

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

https://twitter.com/kalpenn/status/898547257062174724

read the first letter of each paragraph.

I love the fact that Melania's name is the top name listed on the left, even if she probably doesn't even realize she's an honorary member.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:07

bird food bathtub: Aug 9, 2003; College Slice

Republican strategy. Scream about how terrible government is and that the " " " " free " " " " market is the answer while pocketing fat checks from that market. Then when you get governmental power make good and god drat sure government doesn't work, by doing stuff like turbo tucking the budget in the most chaotic way possible.

# ? Aug 18, 2017 22:07