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There came a time when the kingdoms of man were assailed by...dongs. Big floppy devil dongs. Swarms of devils would parade across the land, using their dongs to cause mischief and mayhem (this is why the traditional form of greeting among devils is "gently caress you"). The kingdoms of men tried to rid themselves of this phallic menace, but for every devil they banished, another would reach across from the void and the cycle would repeat. Now, this was before Man discovered the art of Cutting, and thus even the greatest swordsman of that time treated their swords as extensions of their least useful parts. It was no surprise that none lasted longer than a minute again the devil hordes. Their fights were no better. As the loses mounted, the kings of Man realized their error. They fought the devils with swords, but perhaps they needed a dong of their own? In their despair, they turned to one each had long since exiled from their lands. He had many names to many lovers, but had long since been known only as Sticky. Sticky was a skilled swordsman, but fumbled when holding a metal blade. Worse, he was too old to train anew. As the kings' messengers explained their plight, he furiously thought of a plan. Finally it came to him, and without a word or a robe rushed into town. After the initial shock wore off, the blacksmith, a bastard son, agreed to forge a metal blade only someone like Sticky could wield. A commission for the leatherworker, another bastard son, let him strap the blade onto his person. Fully armed, Sticky went to work on the devils. An orgy of devastation followed. Finally the King Of Devils, Himself, rose to challenge Sticky. Swords were crossed. The two fought, and fought, until finally Sticky stood triumphant over the Devil King. Exhausted but satisfied, Himself acquiesced to the swordsman's demands, and in a flash all devils were separated from their dongs forever. And this is why you never tell a devil to "stop being a dick".
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Aug 17, 2017 05:20
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| # ? May 21, 2024 00:37 |
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Who What Now posted:Well, do they have nipples or not? 
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Aug 17, 2017 05:30
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My eyes are down here you pervert
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Aug 17, 2017 05:37
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Man always strives to smut man. Therefore he who draws his porn the fastest is the survivor. To pre-empt this, you must live, eat, and poo poo as a person who has their porn drawn. It doesn't matter whether your dick, in actuality, is always out of your pants, though you will look like an idiot if it is.
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Aug 17, 2017 07:43
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cio don't do the thing you are doing do that but not
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Aug 17, 2017 07:44
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the old ceremony posted:oskar's dick/s also has {EVIL} printed all over it Ok this is going too far. He is a tengu, he clearly has a cloaca. It still has {EVIL} on either side of it, probably.
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Aug 17, 2017 16:25
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PathAsc posted:You just can't see the ovipositor until it's too late
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Aug 17, 2017 18:51
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Third statue from the left in the first panel kind of looks like its a dude in the middle of a monster sized poo poo. I mean while we're here...
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Aug 17, 2017 20:57
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I hope they still have their lucky key.
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Aug 21, 2017 02:36
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Huh, that looks familiar...
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Aug 21, 2017 02:38
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that's me, i'm the door
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Aug 21, 2017 02:43
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Yeeep. (we played on Saturday. It was...not great, sadly. Still spooky.)
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Aug 21, 2017 02:59
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They just need Felicia to talk to it, the door gets so lonely.
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Aug 21, 2017 04:18
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the door of thirst
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Aug 21, 2017 06:02
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Ah, I get it now. They need Felicia because she's the only one who knows how to answer the door's three riddles. Nothing to get upset over.
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Aug 21, 2017 15:17
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I feel like stuffing Felicia into the doormouth is now almost too obvious, and its going to be something different and possibly worse.
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Aug 21, 2017 15:30
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I'm gonna laugh if she unlocks it via some sort of dentistry/lockpicking, nothing bad happens, and then once it's open she gets owned by Charon or some other rear end in a top hat on the team.
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Aug 21, 2017 15:34
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Well, we could always just ask Suuz to clarify what she meant by "she's very important to open the door"... Wait, poo poo. My guess is that Lucky Felicia agreed to die in exchange for her sick grandma in Ashton to get her share, or something similarly tragic, and cheerfully crawls into the mouth of her own volition, demonstrating the cheapness of life in Throne.
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Aug 21, 2017 17:17
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Probably someone has to replace the door to open it.
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Aug 21, 2017 17:19
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There's actually a perfectly normal five-pin tumbler lock underneath the purely decorative giant screaming head
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Aug 21, 2017 17:25
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:purely decorative giant screaming head Too long for a name change 
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Aug 21, 2017 17:31
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Dead Reckoning posted:Too long for a name change [Avatar is a screaming head] Purely decorative
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Aug 21, 2017 17:35
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Lucky Felicia's a licensed dentist, and is going to fish the key out from between that door's molars.
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Aug 21, 2017 18:33
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A Wizard of Goatse posted:There's actually a perfectly normal five-pin tumbler lock underneath the purely decorative giant screaming head I feel pretty confident that little circle to the lower right of the Big Giant Head is opening instructions.
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Aug 21, 2017 19:14
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https://twitter.com/dril/status/331764878664671234
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Aug 21, 2017 19:21
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The Devil's are going to stuff Felicia into the giant mouth to be devoured, and Alison will ask if it required human sacrifice. Nah, Oskar replies, any sufficiently large animal would trigger the lock, but humans will bring themselves so no one had to carry a fat goat.
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Aug 21, 2017 19:32
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Ashcans posted:The Devil's are going to stuff Felicia into the giant mouth to be devoured, and Alison will ask if it required human sacrifice. Nah, Oskar replies, any sufficiently large animal would trigger the lock, but humans will bring themselves so no one had to carry a fat goat. Yeah but then Allison points out that she can just teleport everyone to the other side of the door so they do that instead. Lucky Felicia's name is right once again.
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Aug 21, 2017 21:34
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name: lucky felicia theme: cat my theory: she has nine lives and is selling one of them. off the wall but why the gently caress not
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Aug 21, 2017 21:47
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The Behelit Gate only opens when fate decides it should. You can usually tell when the screaming starts. (Everyone gets a brand of sacrifice for reentry into the vault)
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Aug 21, 2017 22:07
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Felicia will use her cat gimmick by meowing at the door until someone lets her in.
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Aug 22, 2017 00:39
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Say Nothing posted:Felicia will use her cat gimmick by meowing at the door until someone lets her in.
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Aug 22, 2017 00:59
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Say Nothing posted:Felicia will use her cat gimmick by meowing at the door until someone lets her in. 
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Aug 22, 2017 01:16
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Say Nothing posted:Felicia will use her cat gimmick by meowing at the door until someone lets her in. Holy poo poo that is so perfect I might just die
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Aug 22, 2017 01:20
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Say Nothing posted:Felicia will use her cat gimmick by meowing at the door until someone lets her in. then when it finally opens she'll take a few steps away and go "nah nevermind"
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Aug 22, 2017 02:16
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The door will open if someone, anyone just scratches its nose, for the love of god.
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Aug 22, 2017 03:14
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Say Nothing posted:Felicia will use her cat gimmick by meowing at the door until someone lets her in. Perfection.
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Aug 22, 2017 03:28
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Say Nothing posted:Felicia will use her cat gimmick by meowing at the door until someone lets her in. Make it happen, Operant. You know this is better than whatever horrible poo poo you had in store for her.
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Aug 22, 2017 03:34
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Aug 22, 2017 04:20
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God dammit BravestOfTheLamps, look what you have done.
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Aug 22, 2017 04:24
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Quit trying to spread this forced meme.
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Aug 22, 2017 04:25
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