interviewing and job hunting is garbage

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > interviewing and job hunting is garbage

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FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

qhat posted:

Got the job. Guy wanted to low ball me, but I was able to get the required figs out of him.

embedded below: video footage of qhat getting more figgies out of his boss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbwOYMFtw1k

# ? Aug 22, 2017 01:41

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# ? May 10, 2024 21:30

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

qhat posted:

Got the job. Guy wanted to low ball me, but I was able to get the required figs out of him.

goongrats

# ? Aug 22, 2017 01:51

PokeJoe: Aug 24, 2004; hail cgatan

old coworker reached out to me about a new job, might be some more paper stacking in my future

# ? Aug 22, 2017 01:59

mekkanare: Sep 12, 2008; We have detected you are using ad blocking software.

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PokeJoe posted:

old coworker reached out to me about a new job, might be some more paper stacking in my future

You should try computer touching instead. Can probably earn a lot more.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 02:38

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

I spent 15 minutes on the phone with a recruiter to give her a huge amount of information as to what the person we are looking for should have.

The basics boil down to:

Musts:
- Linux
- C++
- GIT

Wants:
- Gstreamer
- Postgres
- Embedded Linux

Homerun:
- PJSIP

First resume she gives me:
C#/.NET
MSSQL
No Linux
No C++

WTF lady? If I wanted a .NET developer I would go down to my local Home Depot and pick one that's standing there waiting for a day job. I need a real programmer!

# ? Aug 22, 2017 11:50

OWLS!: Sep 17, 2009; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

recruiters status when you are on the hiring end: still lovely.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 11:54

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

OWLS! posted:

recruiters status when you are on the hiring end: still lovely.

Here is the email I sent her:

quote:

Hey (worthless recruiter);

All of his programming experience is in C# and .net, which is a Microsoft programming language.

So the reason for the pass is:

1) Not a Linux developer
2) No real-world embedded Linux experience.
3) The Embedded Linux experience he does have isn't enough to onboard him quickly.

Thanks!

Ratbert

Here's her email back:

quote:

Hi Ratbert,

I completely understand where you're coming from. I only strongly encourage you to chat with him just to gage his experience and understand his passion for the technology. You might be surprised at how quickly he could get up to speed. If you decide not, that's cool too.

My thought is, if you (potentially) have (the candidate you are interviewing on Thursday) coming on board to help with the project, he might be able to "help" with the onboarding. I suppose he could do that with (previously denied candidate) as well, but just thinking outside of the box here.

Thank you!
worthless recruiter

JFC

# ? Aug 22, 2017 13:45

Iverron: May 13, 2012

at least they didn't doctor the resume, been there done that

# ? Aug 22, 2017 14:00

Mao Zedong Thot: Oct 16, 2008

guy from $client at last job (pretty much the sole reason i left last job was $client) hit me up 'would you consider working here???'

want to respond "absolutely for literally a million dollars a year"

# ? Aug 22, 2017 14:52

Iverron: May 13, 2012

InfrastructureWeek posted:

guy from $client at last job (pretty much the sole reason i left last job was $client) hit me up 'would you consider working here???'

want to respond "absolutely for literally a million dollars a year"

this reminds me of myself and another dev getting friend requests on Facebook from $client after leaving our last jobs and thinking: nooooope I know where this is going

# ? Aug 22, 2017 15:17

qhat: Jul 6, 2015

ratbert90 posted:

Here is the email I sent her:

Here's her email back:

JFC

Rofl. Funny seeing how terrible recruiters are from the other end.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 16:23

qhat: Jul 6, 2015

This guy is into computers so I feel very confident he'd be able to take on the role for which he fills absolutely no requirements.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 16:24

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

My department has been trying to hire an electrical engineer and it has taught me that recruiters don't actually have access to any super secret good jobs and/or candidates. They amass a list of names and resumes, they throw said resumes at any job tangentially related to them, and then get out of recruiting after 3 years once enough of the jobs stick.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 16:27

leper khan: Dec 28, 2010; Honest to god thinks Half Life 2 is a bad game. But at least he likes Monster Hunter.

ThePeavstenator posted:

My department has been trying to hire an electrical engineer and it has taught me that recruiters don't actually have access to any super secret good jobs and/or candidates. They amass a list of names and resumes, they throw said resumes at any job tangentially related to them, and then get out of recruiting after 3 years once enough of the jobs stick.

so what you're saying is that recruiting is like online dating

# ? Aug 22, 2017 16:41

qhat: Jul 6, 2015

ThePeavstenator posted:

My department has been trying to hire an electrical engineer and it has taught me that recruiters don't actually have access to any super secret good jobs and/or candidates. They amass a list of names and resumes, they throw said resumes at any job tangentially related to them, and then get out of recruiting after 3 years once enough of the jobs stick.

This is mostly true, all of the jobs are posted on indeed anyway. I remember once I told a guy not to call me unless he had opportunities directly related to my resume and experience, and low and behold he calls me to introduce himself and tell me he has nothing. I wasn't surprised at all.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 16:41

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

PokeJoe posted:

old coworker reached out to me about a new job, might be some more paper stacking in my future

I left my old job a month ago (and moved across the country). I've had two recruiters in a row approach me about applying for it. :sun:

(Good luck finding commercial Unix C++ programmers guys you're gonna need it)

# ? Aug 22, 2017 17:05

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

Already got a reply this morning for a position I applied to yesterday. Got a "you might be a good fit" reply and they want to do a phonecall.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 17:12

Sapozhnik: Jan 2, 2005; Nap Ghost

i got my green card :toot:

# ? Aug 22, 2017 17:17

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Sapozhnik posted:

i got my green card

# ? Aug 22, 2017 17:38

Asymmetric POSTer: Aug 17, 2005

Sapozhnik posted:

i got my green card

goondolences

# ? Aug 22, 2017 17:56

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

qhat posted:

This guy is into computers so I feel very confident he'd be able to take on the role for which he fills absolutely no requirements.

HE'S VERY PASSIONATE!
Even though you need embedded Linux experience and GStreamer, his PASSION will make him fast!

# ? Aug 22, 2017 18:00

leper khan: Dec 28, 2010; Honest to god thinks Half Life 2 is a bad game. But at least he likes Monster Hunter.

tfw the recruiter is late escorting you from the lobby

# ? Aug 22, 2017 18:18

Shaman Linavi: Apr 3, 2012

my linkedin profile is a picture of a cat with my skills/interests as "cats, baking, .NET" and i still get recruiters messaging me, usually about F# stuff

# ? Aug 22, 2017 18:36

minato: Jun 7, 2004; cutty cain't hang, say 7-up.; Taco Defender

Sapozhnik posted:

i got my green card

congratulations, you may have to carry around a picture of Donald Trump in your wallet for the next 5 years. Look on the back, just above the "If found drop in any mailbox" message is a tiny set of 45 circles, each containing a portrait of the presidents.

My friend got his a few weeks ago and was lucky enough to get one from the old stock that didn't have Donnie on it yet.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 18:53

mod saas: May 4, 2004; Grimey Drawer

minato posted:

congratulations, you may have to carry around a picture of Donald Trump in your wallet for the next 5 years.

I reaaallllly thought this was going to end with "for if the secret police ever question your allegiances"

# ? Aug 22, 2017 18:57

HoboMan: Nov 4, 2010

ratbert90 posted:

If I wanted a .NET developer I would go down to my local Home Depot and pick one that's standing there waiting for a day job. I need a real programmer!

# ? Aug 22, 2017 19:04

Sapozhnik: Jan 2, 2005; Nap Ghost

well, unfortunately president #45 is going to be etched indelibly into human history, yes. it would be nice if we all just referred to the senile egomaniac as just "number 45" in the future though.

looking on the bright side though, andrew jackson is worse. at least the current guy hasn't started a campaign of genocide yet.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 19:10

power botton: Nov 2, 2011

trail of liberal tears

# ? Aug 22, 2017 20:02

power botton: Nov 2, 2011

modern liberals would love to live on reservations since theyre safe spaces for liked minded people who cant cope in modern society

# ? Aug 22, 2017 20:09

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

Phone screen now locked in for tomorrow. One of the things going to be discussed is figgies.

# ? Aug 22, 2017 20:29

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

it�s confirmed the figgies are mine :toot:

offer letter coming soon

# ? Aug 22, 2017 20:54

gonadic io: Feb 16, 2011; >>=

Luigi Thirty posted:

it�s confirmed the figgies are mine

offer letter coming soon

Gratz. C++?

# ? Aug 22, 2017 20:57

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

Let us pray:

"The figgies be with you."

*And also with you*

# ? Aug 22, 2017 20:58

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

rails lol

# ? Aug 22, 2017 20:58

mod saas: May 4, 2004; Grimey Drawer

ThePeavstenator posted:

Let us pray:

"The figgies be with you."

*And also with you*

yeah but sometime in the last ten years only your spirit is allowed to receive figgies this way

# ? Aug 22, 2017 21:01

ThePeavstenator: Dec 18, 2012; Establish the Buns

mod saas posted:

yeah but sometime in the last ten years only your spirit is allowed to receive figgies this way

the correct answer was actually "lift up your figgies"

# ? Aug 22, 2017 21:08

gonadic io: Feb 16, 2011; >>=

Our father in heaven, grant us your figgies

# ? Aug 22, 2017 21:20

jony neuemonic: Nov 13, 2009

congrats to all new figgie and green card havers. :toot:

# ? Aug 22, 2017 21:22

jre: Sep 2, 2011; To the cloud ?

Luigi Thirty posted:

rails lol

You do like your dead platforms :rip:

# ? Aug 22, 2017 21:24

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# ? May 10, 2024 21:30

champagne posting: Apr 5, 2006; YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

through waiting and accounting being the most powerful and least powerful department in every company i've been offered a job doing big data and deep learning

i really hope someone will specify what exactly needs to be accomplished because it's vague af

# ? Aug 22, 2017 21:44

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > interviewing and job hunting is garbage

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