Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

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Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You creep quickly and quietly down the stairs. You notice your muscles getting smaller and smaller.

"We have to save WoodsWorld," Todd tells Lauren again. "But I sure don't know how."

"Maybe I can help," you say from the shadows. "Did you miss me?"

"You're free!" Lauren cries out when she sees you. "And your muscles are gone."

"It seems the farther underground I went, the smaller my muscles got. And as long as we can't hear the troll's whistle, we're safe," you explain.

"But how did you escape from him?" Lauren asks. "And how did you get down here? And how - "

"Hold on, hold on," you interrupt. "It's a long story. We don't have time to talk now. Right now we've got to get out of here and stop the troll before he takes over WoodsWorld and maybe even the whole world!"

"But how do we get out of here?" Todd asks.

"Well," you say, searching around the cellar for the best answer. "We can go up the stairs. Or we can go through that dark tunnel over there." You point across the cellar to a dark tunnel.

Which way will you go?

Climb up the stairs on PAGE 77.

Go through the dark tunnel on PAGE 100.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Super-Strength O's

Goal Endings: 0/2

Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Gyzacck!
Ambushed by a werewolf masquerading as a doctor.

Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
Gyzacck: Gyzacck? Gyzacck.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 06:26

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# ? May 9, 2024 21:05

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

Tunnel.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 10:51

Android Blues: Nov 22, 2008

Take the tunnel.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 11:04

Captainicus: Feb 22, 2013

I used to borrow these books at the school library all the time... I remember one about visiting your grandparents out in the swamp before they abandon you in the house with a very ominous note saying 'Don't open the locked door' and the locked door contains a swamp monster. That one terrified the heck out of me.

In this much more ridiculous book, we should go down the tunnel.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 12:22

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You crawl into the dark tunnel. Todd and Lauren follow close behind. You only have to crawl a short distance before the tunnel gets larger. You stand up straight and see a rose-colored glow ahead. It's magically pulling you toward it.

"What is it?" Lauren asks. Her face looks pink in the glow of the light.

"The Cave of the Rose Crystals!" Todd exclaims. "Geologists have been searching for this cave for years. The crystals are supposed to have magic powers."

"What kind of powers?" you ask.

"No one really knows for sure," Todd explains. "But I read in a book that the last explorers to go into the caves never came out."

"Then why are we going in?" Lauren asks. "I'm not crazy. I'm turning back!"

Lauren turns and runs out of the cave. Seconds later you hear her scream.

QUICK! If you tell Todd to wait there while you investigate Lauren's screams, turn to PAGE 55.

Or let the power of the Rose Crystals pull you to PAGE 89.

Since the book doesn't make it particularly clear, the latter option means taking Todd with us to check on Lauren.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Super-Strength O's

Goal Endings: 0/2

Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Gyzacck!
Ambushed by a werewolf masquerading as a doctor.

Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
Gyzacck: Gyzacck? Gyzacck.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 16:16

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

I CAN'T LEAVE WITHOUT MY BUDDY ~~SUPERFLY~~ LAUREN

e: oh woops, the one that ends up with you taking Todd along

Leraika fucked around with this message at 18:15 on Aug 23, 2017

# ? Aug 23, 2017 16:39

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

We obeyed the Troll earlier, we OBEY THE CRYSTALS NOW.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 16:43

Ratatozsk: Mar 6, 2007; Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

I for one salute our new naturally geometric overlords.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 17:00

Gloomy Rube: Mar 4, 2008

You must gather your party before venturing forth.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 17:06

Android Blues: Nov 22, 2008

The latter one, it's the Todd-heavier option.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 17:36

QuoProQuid: Jan 12, 2012; Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Was this book about summer camp at one point?

Come on, Todd

# ? Aug 23, 2017 17:46

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

QuoProQuid posted:

Was this book about summer camp at one point?

I thought it was supposed to be about werewolves.

Crystals.

# ? Aug 23, 2017 18:39

Zomborgon: Feb 19, 2014; I don't even want to see what happens if you gain CHIM outside of a pre-coded system.

QuoProQuid posted:

Was this book about summer camp at one point?

I think this was the first GYG CYOA book I read. If I recall correctly, I flipped to the wrong page early on and went straight from regular summer camp shenanigans right into the "begging the troll to let me use my super-strength cereal" bit.

It was... mystifying, to say the least.

Crystals are much better than friends anyway.

Zomborgon fucked around with this message at 20:00 on Aug 23, 2017

# ? Aug 23, 2017 19:57

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

"What is it, Lauren?" you and Todd exclaim. You both reach her at the same time.

"I went the wrong way! I saw the troll! So I turned down another tunnel and ended up on the other side of the Cave of Rose Crystals," Lauren explains. "I walked through the cave, and here I am back at this tunnel!"

"What!?" Todd shouts in his nerdy way. "We all discovered the greatest treasure in the world together. Are you saying you went in the treasure cave without us?"

Lauren can't stop laughing.

"What's so funny?" you ask.

"The Cave of the Rose Crystals," Lauren says. "It isn't the greatest treasure in the world. It is a storeroom for the souvenirs of WoodsWorld! These aren't rose crystals - they're plastic!"

"You mean it's not a treasure?" Todd asks.

"Not unless you like pink plastic heart necklaces that say 'My heart belongs to WoodsWorld.'" Lauren giggles.

"All our hearts do belong to WoodsWorld. It's where we always go every summer," you say. "That's why we have to save it from the troll!" You look into the dark tunnel and wonder what to do.

quote:

The three of you stare down the dark tunnel. The darkness goes on forever. The decision is made instantly. "The stairs!" you all say at once.

You lead the way up the stairs. Todd is right behind you, and Lauren is behind him. You are careful, trying not to slip on the steep stairs. You look straight ahead and move very slowly. Before you get to the last step, you turn to make sure Todd and Lauren are still behind you.

It's so dark. You can't see anything.

"Lauren?" you call out. "Todd? Are you guys there?"

If they are behind you, turn to PAGE 118.

If they are not behind you, go to PAGE 82.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Super-Strength O's

Goal Endings: 0/2

Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Gyzacck!
Ambushed by a werewolf masquerading as a doctor.

Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
Gyzacck: Gyzacck? Gyzacck.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 03:14

Mister Olympus: Oct 31, 2011; Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies

Where did they go?

# ? Aug 24, 2017 03:16

Blockhouse: Sep 7, 2014; You Win!

This troll poo poo takes up more of the book than the werewolves!

Anyway there's no way them being behind us isn't some kind of death trap so they're totally gonezo

# ? Aug 24, 2017 03:22

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

Lauren and Todd have had enough of this story's poo poo and hosed off.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 03:52

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

They were behind us, but then we turned around to look for them, so they're in front of us now. Therefore, they are not behind us.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 04:09

Gloomy Rube: Mar 4, 2008

CaptainCaveman posted:

They were behind us, but then we turned around to look for them, so they're in front of us now. Therefore, they are not behind us.

Clever, I'm gonna go with this too

# ? Aug 24, 2017 04:59

marijuanamancer: Sep 11, 2001; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

The Deviations posted:

Lauren and Todd have had enough of this story's poo poo and hosed off.

Yes

# ? Aug 24, 2017 11:23

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

The Deviations posted:

Lauren and Todd have had enough of this story's poo poo and hosed off.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 18:35

Snake Maze

Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago

Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus

Maybe this is more of a Greenland/Iceland scenario, and all the Werewolves are over in Troll & Cereal Woods.

CaptainCaveman posted:

They were behind us, but then we turned around to look for them, so they're in front of us now. Therefore, they are not behind us.

# ? Aug 24, 2017 22:24

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

Todd and Lauren are not behind you!

You turn around and start to go back down the stairs to see what happens to them. BLAM! Something soft hits you in the face. It feels like a large pillow. You can't breathe. You scream as loud as you can.

"What's all the screaming in here?" you hear your dad ask.

You pull the big pillow off your face. You see your dad gazing down at you.

"Time to get up," he says. "Come on. Todd's waiting for you to go to the kids-only campfire. You must have dozed off for a few minutes while you were unpacking."

"Kids-only campfire?" you ask in a daze. "Haven't we already done that?"

"Every year, the same old same old," your dad mutters. "Just like always. Nothing unexpected ever happens at WoodsWorld. You can always count on that."

"Whatever you say, Dad." You smile. "Whatever you say."

You learned a long time ago that saying "whatever you say, Dad" is the perfect reply when you want to bring a conversation with your dad to

THE END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Super-Strength O's

Goal Endings: 0/2

Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Gyzacck!
Ambushed by a werewolf masquerading as a doctor.
Got another loving "all just a dream" ending.

Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
Gyzacck: Gyzacck? Gyzacck.

Our options posted:

Enter the cave.

Howl at the werewolves.

Fly up to the werewolves.

Open the Smarts Box.

Break free of the troll's spell.

Run for the woods.

Break the wall down.

Check on Lauren alone.

Have Todd and Lauren still be behind us.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 02:53

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

They're still behind us.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 02:54

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Using its all a dream once is hacky but twice is a power move.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 03:03

Blockhouse: Sep 7, 2014; You Win!

gently caress this book

Behind us I guess!

# ? Aug 25, 2017 03:13

Octatonic: Sep 7, 2010

Man, gently caress this book. Just choose something for us that takes us to a winning path, OP

# ? Aug 25, 2017 03:17

QuoProQuid: Jan 12, 2012; Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

Behind

Christ.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 03:18

VivaLa Eeveelution: Apr 3, 2011

...I have to ask. Is there an achievement for collecting all the 'just a dream' endings, or are we fortunate enough to have already done that?

And our friends would never leave us if they knew what greater bullshit that would lead to.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 03:20

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Let's check on Lauren alone, just so we can have a slasher movie ending or something

# ? Aug 25, 2017 03:30

chiasaur11: Oct 22, 2012

SIX pushups!

# ? Aug 25, 2017 03:45

PZ Smeltzenseltzer: Feb 3, 2008; fortran
~*with style*~

Leraika posted:

Let's check on Lauren alone, just so we can have a slasher movie ending or something

# ? Aug 25, 2017 05:09

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

Holy poo poo, this book. It's actually kinda funny just how terrible it is.

Our friends are definitely still behind us.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 05:44

Princey: Mar 22, 2013

I'll save you ~~Nell~~ Lauren!

# ? Aug 25, 2017 13:41

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

The Deviations posted:

...I have to ask. Is there an achievement for collecting all the 'just a dream' endings, or are we fortunate enough to have already done that?

Thankfully, that was the last one.

quote:

"We're here," Lauren says from the darkness.

"Keep up with me, guys," you instruct.

"I'm trying to," Lauren answers, "but I feel so weak."

"Me, too," Todd whines. "I have no strength."

"Well, fine superheroes you all turned out to be," you tease them. "How are we going to get rid of the troll if you can't even get up the stairs?"

You reach into your pocket and pull out a small fistful of SUPER-STRENGTH O's. "Here," you say, holding your hand out to your friends. "This should help. As long as we're underground the troll has no power. Get your strength back with these O's."

The three of you eat a little bit of the O's and sit on the stairs waiting for the expected results. You casually put your hand in your other pocket and pull out another handful of O's. They look exactly like the other O's, but you know you only had SUPER-STRENGTH O's in one pocket.

Uh-oh! Somebody must have planted other O's in the other pocket.

If you ate from the right pocket, go to PAGE 63.

If you ate from the left pocket, go to PAGE 92.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Super-Strength O's
Unidentified O's

Goal Endings: 0/2

Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Gyzacck!
Ambushed by a werewolf masquerading as a doctor.
Got another loving "all just a dream" ending.

Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
Gyzacck: Gyzacck? Gyzacck.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 15:51

PZ Smeltzenseltzer: Feb 3, 2008; fortran
~*with style*~

We ate from the right, because what could possibly go wrong picking the right-handed option in an R.L. Stine book

# ? Aug 25, 2017 16:06

Ratatozsk: Mar 6, 2007; Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

PZ Smeltzenseltzer posted:

We ate from the right, because what could possibly go wrong picking the right-handed option in an R.L. Stine book

Agreed, with Stine right is most likely wrong.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 16:20

Octatonic: Sep 7, 2010

# ? Aug 25, 2017 18:49

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

Eh another blind choice. Right pocket.

# ? Aug 25, 2017 21:45

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# ? May 9, 2024 21:05

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Rebonack7 posted:

Thankfully, that was the last one.

Scratch that, just remembered there's an "it's all a dream - OR WAS IT?!" scenario on the Smarts Box path. I might just offer that achievement after all if we get it...

quote:

You ate the O's from your right pocket. What does that mean? you wonder.

"These SUPER-STRENGTH O's aren't working at all!" Todd whines. "I feel even weaker than I did before I ate them."

"And you look really funny, Todd," Lauren says strangely.

"Aw, come on, Lauren," you start to defend your nerdy friend. "He can't help what he looks like."

quote:

"No, really," Lauren insists. "I mean Todd's body is now the size of a thimble, and he has a fish head instead of his own head! He really does look funny!"

"Come to think of it, Lauren, you're not looking too normal yourself!" Todd says through his new fish lips.

Sure enough, Lauren and you and Todd ate from the right pocket, which turns out to have been the absolute wrong pocket. That wasn't SUPER-STRENGTH O's you ate. It was FISH-IN-AN-INSTANT food!

Never trust a troll. They're always up to something fishy, especially when they live by a lake.

"Time to go swimming, my fine finned friends," the troll announces, as he pops out from under the stairs. He nods his head and magically transports the three of you to the middle of Deep Woods Lake. Sad to say, when it comes to fish tales, you'll be the greatest tale ever told!

THE END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Super-Strength O's
Fish-in-an-Instant Food

Goal Endings: 0/2

Bad Endings
Dropped Todd down a bottomless pit.
Gave the book the chance to pull some "all just a dream" bullshit on us.
Turned into a paper lantern because we failed a literature quiz.
Pressed a button that stopped the entire story, because of course it loving did.
Gyzacck!
Ambushed by a werewolf masquerading as a doctor.
Got another loving "all just a dream" ending.
Ate the wrong magic cereal and turned into a fish.

Achievements
Dick Move, Bro: Deliberately let Todd fall into the bottomless pit, just to be a jerk.
Gyzacck: Gyzacck? Gyzacck.

Our options posted:

Enter the cave.

Howl at the werewolves.

Fly up to the werewolves.

Open the Smarts Box.

Break free of the troll's spell.

Run for the woods.

Break the wall down.

Check on Lauren alone.

Eat from the left pocket.

# ? Aug 26, 2017 03:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

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