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Zore posted:For all he looks like Kim Jong Un, Goondad seems to be a better adjusted person than most goons Goondad is beautiful inside and out and I won't hear anything to the contrary. 
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Aug 22, 2017 00:32
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 14:28 |
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mercenarynuker posted:Jesus, I must be the least jaded dad on the forums. Zore posted:Goondad seems to be a better adjusted person than most goons set that bar high everybody
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Aug 22, 2017 00:43
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:Goondad is beautiful inside and out and I won't hear anything to the contrary. Nothing is more beautiful than our Supreme Leader. Being similar in appearance to him means that this is a beautiful Dad and all of the Motherland would love him.
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Aug 22, 2017 03:38
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Let's play Dream Daddy - ITT the best parenting advice goons could come up with
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Aug 22, 2017 06:47
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 Dad Tip #3: Start building credit as early as possible.    "Nooo, don't say that." I'm very good at catching blinks. "I know, I know. It's just... you're my little girl. It's gonna be weird not having you around." "I'll come visit! And I'll text you every day. And I'll take lots of pictures. I mean, obviously, I'm a photography major." "You promise?" "Of course. Are you gonna be okay by your lonesome?" "Oh come on, I'll be fine. I'll get a dog or something."  "Forget art school. I'll stay for the dog." "Is that what it's gonna take?" "Medium sized dog, handkerchief around the neck, I get to name it. That's what it'll cost for me to give up on my dreams. I'm a woman of simple wants and needs." "Well, a dog is a lot cheaper than college."Amanda laughs. Suddenly, a pile of envelopes slides through the mail slot.  Amanda darts over to the envelopes and shuffles through them. She pulls one out and throws the rest back on the floor. "This is from McGowan College of Art and Design!" "Open it!" "But I'm scared." "It's just an envelope." She takes a deep breath and rips the letter open with her teeth. "We have a letter opener but okay."I hold my breath while Amanda's eyes dart back and forth, scanning the letter. "What does it say?"   Amanda throws the letter on the coffee table. "Oh, sweetie..." "It's okay. I kinda saw it coming. I knew I shouldn't have put that experimental stuff in my portfolio, their admissions officer told me they just want to see protraits or whatever."I pull Amanda in for a big hug. "You're an amazing photographer. I know how much work you put into your portfolio. Some other school is gonna want to snatch you up for sure." "Yeah... I know. It's fine." "Are you actually fine or are you just saying that?" Her face says the opposite but... I probably shouldn't push her on this. "Oh, and before I forget, Emma R. and Emma P. are sleeping over tonight.  "So..." "...you need me out of the way because I'm painfully uncool?" "Well, I'll have you know that I conveniently already have plans for tonight, so you'll have the new place to yourself." "Yeah? What are your plans?"Quick, think of plans!  "Bossman's been riding us proles too hard. It's time to rise up for our rights." "Dad you're not even gonna invite me to the riot?" "I'm sorry sweetie, it's an honest day's work for an honest day's riot." "I'm just kidding, I'm actually going to..."Next time: Dad leaves the house! Poor Amanda. Admissions season is always a rough ride. Next update will be either later today or perhaps early tomorrow! POOL IS CLOSED fucked around with this message at 22:47 on Aug 26, 2017 |
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Aug 26, 2017 19:29
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No option to show up drunk to that collage and loudly challenge the review board to a deathmatch?
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Aug 26, 2017 20:13
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:No option to show up drunk to that collage and loudly challenge the review board to a deathmatch? If only! I think a lot of us will always have that one school we resent for not accepting us.
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Aug 26, 2017 20:57
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:
Did you get these lines and images backwards? Seems like the dog part should be higher than the art school part.
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Aug 26, 2017 21:58
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Blaze Dragon posted:Did you get these lines and images backwards? Seems like the dog part should be higher than the art school part.  I'm not sure what happened there, but those sure are out of order. Thanks for the catch!
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Aug 26, 2017 22:46
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Can Amanda be my daughter? Because I might actually want a kid if I got one like her
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Aug 28, 2017 08:48
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 Dad Tip #69: It's okay to cry if you're feeling sad.  Nice. "Which Game?" "You know. The Game. The one that's on tonight."The Game. On TV. At somewhere other than here." "Okay, cool. While you do that I'm gonna do drugs and commit some light arson with the Emmas." "I'm concerned you're hanging with the wrong crowd."Amanda shrugs. "I would've expected you guys to be up to white collar crime by this point. Maybe money laundering at the least." "...you're kidding about doing drugs and crime, right?" "Yes, Dad." "Just making sure."I give her a pat on the head. "Have fun with your sports." "Are you being sarcastic?" "No, making fun of sports is played out." "Alright then." Before I leave, Amanda stops me. "Hey, don't forget that you have that meeting with my English teacher tomorrow." "Oh right, Mr. Vega. Yup, totally remembered. I'll be there!" Let's go... this way. Cool, okay, we're marching. We're marching in the direction of the Game. Any Game, really. In the distance... could it be...?   Bartender: "What'll it be?" "One beer, please."Bartender: "Sure thing, boss." The bartender slides me an ice cold Beer, I take a sip and enjoy the refreshing taste. "Say, are you Jim or Kim?"Bartender: "I'm Neil."  I awkwardly turn my attention to The Game, which is playing on one of the TVs on the wall. As luck would have it, my team of preference is not only playing but is currently in the lead, which is always a good thing. The brightly colored mascot, which is some kind of animal, does cartwheels. I silently cheer on my favored team, hoping that I don't get into any confrontational arguments with a fan of the opposing team. Several people in this bar are wearing the distinctive colors of the team I dislike, although I believe from their demeanor that, like me, the passion for their team is all in good fun.   "Hey, sailor." "Oh, hello." "Good to see fresh meat in here. I'm Mary. Come here often?" "Oh no, I actually just moved to this part of town today. I'm John, by the way." "Are you watching The Game?"  I'm getting the impression that she's a little drunk. "Uh..." "Buy a gal a drink?" Next time: Games, Beers, Shots Well, thread: shall we buy Mary a drink? And do we like, love, or loathe shots? As usual, bold your choice for me, please! POOL IS CLOSED fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Sep 9, 2017 |
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Sep 2, 2017 01:05
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Hmmm... as long as she's not super smashed right now, buy her a drink. And we like shots! In moderation. Sometimes.
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Sep 2, 2017 01:10
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Every gay knows if you turn down shots you're kicked off the team. It's part of the agreement we sign when we sign up
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Sep 2, 2017 01:10
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Booze her, this is probably gonna end up hilarious, probably the wife of some other gaydad  Also we Love Shots
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Sep 2, 2017 01:11
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Buy her a drink, and hell yes goondad loves shots.
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Sep 2, 2017 01:12
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Wait a minute! She's not a dad!!! or is she
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Sep 2, 2017 01:13
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Really Pants posted:Wait a minute! She's not a dad!!! I'M A DAD AND YOU'RE A DAD AND SHE'S A DAD AS WELL SO YOU CAN POINT THAT FUCKIN DAAAD UP YOUR DAAAA---AAAAA-AAA-AAAaaaaaaDDDDD
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Sep 2, 2017 01:18
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Buy her a drink, and we like shots.
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Sep 2, 2017 01:19
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TooMuchAbstraction posted:Buy her a drink, and we like shots. We are a perfect gentleman, and perfect gentlemen buy the girl a drink and like shots. It's in the Rulebook of The Game, you know
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Sep 2, 2017 01:33
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:I'M A DAD AND YOU'RE A DAD AND SHE'S A DAD AS WELL SO YOU CAN POINT THAT FUCKIN DAAAD UP YOUR DAAAA---AAAAA-AAA-AAAaaaaaaDDDDD `But I don’t want to go among Dad people,’ Alice remarked. `Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: `we’re all Dad here. I’m Dad. You’re Dad.’ `How do you know I’m Dad?’ said Alice. `You must be,’ said the Cat, `or you wouldn’t have come here.’
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Sep 2, 2017 01:45
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Don't buy her a drink, that's like flirting and we can't accept heterosexual relationships for our gay dad, except for the past one that ended badly. Also of course he likes to drink, the motherland's gifts exist for his sake and our Eternal Leader will gladly take them. Also also I hope your eye gets better.
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Sep 2, 2017 03:16
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She's perfectly capable of buying her own drink, what is this, the 1950s? And shots are okay, I guess, although it seems a little pointless to toss back booze like you don't even want to taste it on the way down.
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Sep 2, 2017 06:09
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Go for it, both questions.
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Sep 2, 2017 06:32
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Buy her a drink, but we're a straight-edge dad!
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Sep 2, 2017 14:23
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I wonder if she's the mother of the children of the corn we saw earlier. Don't buy her a drink / Like
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Sep 2, 2017 15:13
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Look, every dad needs a no hetero drinking buddy, right?
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Sep 2, 2017 17:04
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I'm calling it: It's Christian dad in drag.
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Sep 2, 2017 17:06
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Pro drinking, both in loving shots and buying them for others. You'll need it to enjoy The Game.
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Sep 3, 2017 04:24
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Buying a drink: eh, fine Opinion on shots: eh, fine
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Sep 3, 2017 06:27
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I just needed to say that this thread title is the most perfect thing on earth.
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Sep 3, 2017 16:12
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Horrible Lurkbeast posted:I'm calling it: It's Christian dad in drag. Totally it is. I bet this is why he's divorced.
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Sep 3, 2017 20:34
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Astrofig posted:Totally it is. I bet this is why he's divorced. He's not divorced. I'm guessing it's either drag or this is his wife, though.
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Sep 3, 2017 20:36
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The Skeleton King posted:I just needed to say that this thread title is the most perfect thing on earth.  The thread also suggested dadliest catch. Shout out to Mega64 for obligingly changing the title. He allowed this. POOL IS CLOSED fucked around with this message at 20:52 on Sep 3, 2017 |
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Sep 3, 2017 20:48
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Dallbun posted:`But I don’t want to go among Dad people,’ Alice remarked. I see Dad people. Walking around like regular people. They don't even know they're Dad. Let's begrudgingly be okay with buying shots for both of us. Not too many, though, we aren't made of money!
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Sep 6, 2017 07:40
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What is a dad? A miserable little pile of puns!
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Sep 6, 2017 18:02
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You're already dad.
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Sep 6, 2017 20:29
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My eye has stopped trying to flee from all these dad jokes, so I'm picking at an In the meantime, has anyone learned any new puns lately? If not, I have a riddle for you. AND DON'T GOOGLE IT, YA drat KIDS! What's older than its mother?
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Sep 9, 2017 01:50
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:My eye has stopped trying to flee from all these dad jokes, so I'm picking at an Its mother's mother?
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Sep 9, 2017 02:56
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Arbitrary Number posted:Its mother's mother? its mather?
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Sep 9, 2017 11:10
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 14:28 |
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 Dad Tip #74: Anyone who tells you that a drink isn't manly has never known heartache.   She tips her glass at me. "Suppose I gotta keep you company now." "So, what do you want to know?" Let's open up with a little dadditude. "Me? I'm a ghost, John. I haunt the hallowed halls of Jim and Kims, waiting for my beloved to return from sea." "Really?" "Homegirl just loves a drink." "So what else can you tell me about this part of town?" "It's quiet, that's for sure. If you want an idyllic little life with white picket fences, this is the place to do it. But every town has its secrets, you know."She takes a sip of her drink. That was a little too ominous for my taste. She leans closer. "Would you like to learn some of my secrets?"Oh boy. "Ahh, maybe some other time?" Mary saunters off, setting her sights on the newest bar patron to enter. I happily watch The Game over another Beer. The Game has gotten close in terms of points. A little too close than what I'm comfortable with. After a particularly skilled player scores a number of points for the other team, putting them in the lead, I hear an affirmative grunt from another man at the bar.   "Enjoying The Game?" "I am now that we're winning." "Oh, we must be rooting for different teams."Or are we? "In my opinion, my team is far superior." "That's where you're wrong, since as it stands right now, my team is beating yours."The conversation ends there and we both go back to silently rooting for our respective teams. The game is close, with both sides playing their hardest to win. But in the end my team prevails. Quiet cheers ripple throughout the bar. I raise a respectful glass at the man drinking Whiskey. He raises his in response. An unspoken truce is formed between us based on mutual love for The Game. He motions to the bartender, who pours two glasses of Whiskey. The man slides one over to me. Thread, do you like whiskey or whisky? "The name's Robert." "Thanks. I'm John." "You must be new here. Mary already hit on you?" "Yeah."Robert chuckles.  "Is there actually a Jim or Kim that runs this place?" "No. Tha'd be Niel."Neil waves from across the bar. "Good guy, Neil. Not enough Neils in this world." "O... kay." "Beer, but I'll drink most things." "You like shots?" "Thank you."Robert nods to Neil, who serves up two shots of Whiskey. He hands one to me.  "Here's to your health."We take the shots. The Whiskey burns going down, but I try my hardest to look tough. Wait, I think this is what making friends is. Okay, John, this guy's clearly out of my friend league, but I think if I play my cards right we'll be pals in no time.  Next time: We're almost done with introductions. Well, thread, what do we compliment? Robert's clearly meant to be the Bad Boy archetype, a long-enduring and extremely popular romance hero trope. How much do you want to bet that he has a motorcycle?
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Sep 9, 2017 17:15
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