Give me characters to put in this dumb ass Hunger Games Simulation

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Give me characters to put in this dumb ass Hunger Games Simulation

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Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Hunger Games #3 will be tomorrow on Sunday so make sure to tune in instead of going to church

# ? Sep 3, 2017 03:25

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# ? May 22, 2024 05:44

Serge Painsbourg: Jul 26, 2016

Putty posted:

Hunger Games #3 will be tomorrow on Sunday so make sure to tune in instead of going to church

Putty, this thread is the equivalent of a religion. I'll do my duty by endlessly refreshing it.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 03:27

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

Luckily I added GUN JESUS to season 3 so this will be the equivalent of going to church anyway.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 03:29

The Walrus: Jul 9, 2002; by Fluffdaddy

Putty posted:

Hunger Games #3 will be tomorrow on Sunday so make sure to tune in instead of going to church

putty im waiting avidly please put simba and anthony ahead of some of the less good teams and into round three.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:13

Panic Restaurant: Jul 19, 2006; Pork Pro

I would like to nominate the following combatants for round three (or whatever):

An American Woodcock:

Bubsy:

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:14

AdmiralViscen: Nov 2, 2011

I think previous winners should carry over to the next round, personally

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:28

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

AdmiralViscen posted:

I think previous winners should carry over to the next round, personally

Same

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:28

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

AdmiralViscen posted:

I think previous winners should carry over to the next round, personally

i can do this

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:31

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

also if someone knows hwo to get full webpage screenshots easy that would be nice, shareX doesnt do it right

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:37

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Chrome has an extension I will tell you in a minute

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:39

EorayMel: May 30, 2015; WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Fran�ais.

AdmiralViscen posted:

I think previous winners should carry over to the next round, personally

I personally prefer the "hall of fame" approach where winners are freed from the competitions and instead watch the next round from ivory thrones and discuss philosophy with each other.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:41

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

It's called full page screen capture

# ? Sep 3, 2017 04:41

END CHEMTRAILS NOW: Apr 16, 2005; Pillbug

I'm assuming there's already more than enough for S3, but are submissions open for the following season(s)? If so, I'm going with:

The Alpha and the Omega, god of Abraham and Isaac, the great I AM, he who is and was and is to come, the Almighty...

God!

And to round out the team, it could only be the the wicked one, prince of lies, the Accuser, Ol' Scratch...

Satan!

# ? Sep 3, 2017 05:59

ChesterJT: Dec 28, 2003; Mounty Pumper's Flying Circus

Lloyd Christmas

Harry Dunne

# ? Sep 3, 2017 06:02

el_jorge: Jul 7, 2008; I also got a bag of chocolate smooth.

Tyrone Biggums

# ? Sep 3, 2017 06:06

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Mobin

# ? Sep 3, 2017 07:02

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Tucker xarlson

# ? Sep 3, 2017 07:05

ChaseSP: Mar 25, 2013

Tape Kid

The Butcher

ChaseSP fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Sep 3, 2017

# ? Sep 3, 2017 07:33

Blazing Ownager: Jun 2, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

David Heinrich posted:

Mike Meyers/The Shape.

Patrick Bateman

Crazy giant murder-man and crazy tinier murder-man.

How could you do Mike Meyers and not make it Mike Meyers the serial killer with Mike Meyers the comedian

# ? Sep 3, 2017 07:37

ilovebeersooomuch: May 23, 2014

EorayMel posted:

I personally prefer the "hall of fame" approach where winners are freed from the competitions and instead watch the next round from ivory thrones and discuss philosophy with each other.

This right here
I really enjoyed the interview with Ryu, kinda wished there was more

# ? Sep 3, 2017 13:59

Sad King Billy: Jan 27, 2006; Thats three of ours innit...to one of yours. You know mate I really think we ought to even up the average!

This is a top team, smart brains

A Pakled

Master Shake

# ? Sep 3, 2017 18:49

Sereri: Sep 30, 2008; awwwrigami

The heat death of the universe

Steven, you know, from work?

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:13

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

gently caress you Steven! I'm glad it's you out there and not me.
Hey Heat death, Steven's allergic to being stabbed in the back.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 21:29

Avirosb: Nov 21, 2016; Everyone makes pisstakes

In my time zone it's almost Monday now.
Jez sayn

# ? Sep 3, 2017 22:04

A. Beaverhausen: Nov 11, 2008; by R. Guyovich

Round 3 of the blood bath tonight!

Thank you putty

# ? Sep 3, 2017 22:20

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

The General posted:

Sailor Jupiter and Sailor Mars

I didn't want to have to choose

This is the last one that got in and since I couldn't parse these animes I just put in Anime Hank Hill to counteract Anime Homer

Game in a few hours.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 22:56

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Can't wait to see Golden Girls wreck some poo poo

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:00

Gorgo Primus: Mar 29, 2009; We shall forge the most progressive republic ever known to man!

Putting up another tag team in advance for next game so I don't forget.

Metal Sanic:

and

Robitnick:

Both of whom have come to avenge their fallen friend Sanic. One of them has to make it to the end. Then, kill Shadow in Sanic's name when he comes to congratulate them.

Gorgo Primus fucked around with this message at 23:28 on Sep 3, 2017

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:11

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

Lore:

Ryu and Shadow the Edgehog are holding a super deathmatch fighter tournament to find fellow ultimate warriors to add to their reichs. The oppressed Something Awful goons of post-apocalyptic 2069 have voted in their most powerful/hated characters to fight for them in the grand tourney. Who will win???

Feel free to add your own lore to characters of you haven't already do it it's fun

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:24

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Pththya-lyi posted:

Can't wait to see Golden Girls wreck some poo poo

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:26

Drunk Nerds: Jan 25, 2011; Just close your eyes; Fun Shoe

Pththya-lyi posted:

Can't wait to see Golden Girls wreck some poo poo

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:28

Dark Off: Aug 14, 2015

Putty posted:

Lore:

Ryu and Shadow the Edgehog are holding a super deathmatch fighter tournament to find fellow ultimate warriors to add to their reichs. The oppressed Something Awful goons of post-apocalyptic 2069 have voted in their most powerful/hated characters to fight for them in the grand tourney. Who will win???

Feel free to add your own lore to characters of you haven't already do it it's fun

bunnyman lore:

quote:

In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

parpman lore:

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:30

DoctorStrangelove: Jun 7, 2012; IT WOULD NOT BE DIFFICULT MEIN FUHRER!

Tenshinhan is the stron-

gest human. He's got this.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:32

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

this makes me miss Zoofights

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:38

Revins: Nov 2, 2007; tune the FM in to static and pretend that its the sea

By MC Shuya I meant "the main character Shuya" but MC Shuya is cool and fine, I wonder how his flow would be

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:41

A. Beaverhausen: Nov 11, 2008; by R. Guyovich

Pththya-lyi posted:

Can't wait to see Golden Girls wreck some poo poo

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:48

Blurry Gray Thing: Jun 3, 2009

Mycroft Holmes posted:

this makes me miss Zoofights

Don't say that word. I'm already fighting the urge to make bad MSPaints and rambling journal entries.

# ? Sep 3, 2017 23:59

Mycroft Holmes: Mar 26, 2010; by Azathoth

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

Don't say that word. I'm already fighting the urge to make bad MSPaints and rambling journal entries.

RIP gezora

# ? Sep 4, 2017 00:28

Polly Toodle: Apr 21, 2010; CHARIZARD used SMOKESCREEN
It doesn't affect GEORDI THE BLASTOISE!

I humbly submit two qualified combatants for a future deathmatch:

TV's detective Lt. Columbo, here to ask his opponents just "one more thing."

and:

A child wearing a swing wing. We will name him Martin the Swingwing Kid.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kcUjuXBFA8

Polly Toodle fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Sep 4, 2017

# ? Sep 4, 2017 00:44

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# ? May 22, 2024 05:44

Cephalectomy: Jun 8, 2007

The Burger King has this. That mother fucker is frightening and has some kind of wicked stealth abilities. Hes gonna poison some whoppers and pass them out i guarantee.

# ? Sep 4, 2017 00:54

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Give me characters to put in this dumb ass Hunger Games Simulation

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