Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

happyhippy posted:

And just noticed lol. First bit of mocap has 'Director: Steve Bender' on it. Date 2nd April 2015.
Second has 'Director: Chris Roberts' 28th April 2015.
What did Bender do in those 26 days to get replaced lol.

He stole a director credit from Chris. He should consider himself lucky that he only got replaced.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 08:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 07:11

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Steve, you say?

# ? Sep 13, 2017 08:26

TheLastRoboKy: May 2, 2009; Finishing the game with everyone else's continues

AP posted:

In a promotional video released last year, Mr Batt appears to defend the delays, explaining that the production of high quality whisky cannot be rushed.

"We don't apologise for taking our time to make the whisky and to fill barrels and to make sure that every single thing we do is perfect," he said.

"We take a great deal of care and we just want to be able to educate our customers and our barrel investors that, you know, magic takes time."

Isn't it great? You can see the pattern on these things as they come apart when you start putting them next to each other. All the little warning signs all lit up in a row. It took around nine years for these people to finally settle in on the realisation they're not seeing a return on their investment. I wonder how long it will take those with money still in Star Citizen?

# ? Sep 13, 2017 08:36

his nibs: Feb 27, 2016; Welcome to the
Dream Factory; Grimey Drawer

~~Surface detail~~ xXAdmiralBekHarXx, we hardly know thee :rip:

# ? Sep 13, 2017 08:37

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

well then

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Sep 13, 2017 08:52

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

You're gunna have to explain that to the Eurotrash

# ? Sep 13, 2017 08:59

Facebook Aunt: Oct 4, 2008; wiggle wiggle

Exinos posted:

I can't stop laughing at the fact it has 4 legs and feet. Just the idea of it trying to run and get enough speed for liftoff.

I don't think that thing can fly at all. It looks heavy. Meaty.

I think the story on that one must be that a black nightmare monster killed the plane and climbed into its corpse.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 09:00

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

TheLastRoboKy posted:

I hope you all now understand just how important Derek getting stupid in this thread is to the continued survival of this thread being about Star Citizen.

In vaguely tangential news there's been a thing in the last few weeks here in Australia about a whisky producing company called Nant. They had established an investment operation where people would purchase barrels that would then be bought back by the company around four years later on once they had matured, with interest of course. The idea was the initial payments would help them cover their initial costs and also some improvements to the estate that was establishing the distillery etc etc. Some people thought this was such a good deal they bought multiple barrels, with each initial one being worth around 9k US dollars but with later offers for more that cost closer to 11k (these prices were around 11k and 14k Australian). It certainly helped that if you bought multiple barrels you could get one free!

Well wouldn't you know it, the guy running Nant turns out to have been a property developer that went bankrupt with around 16 million dollars of debt to his name, many of these amazing barrels people had paid for turned out to not exist at all, some were filled with lower quality alcohol, and in some cases the ones that did exist and did have what was promised in it had been tapped to try to sell off some whisky to make some quick money. Over 700 barrels were sold that didn't have whisky in them. Oh and the improvements to the estate? Turns out contractors hired to do work on it weren't paid. The guy and his wife had multiple companies established as separate entities associated with Nant. Is this starting to sound familiar at all?

The final and most hilariously awful nail in the coffin in all of this was the employees who worked at a bar owned by Nant received a phone call one day just saying the place was done there was no money to pay them, and that they should just close up and go home. The staff opted to stay open, continue to serve people throughout the rest of the day, and took everything from the till as their pay and took off never to return.

Anyone from Reddit reading this, as I'm no doubt sure they're not considering how hard the thread is to read right now, I would suggest perhaps having a bit of a read of this and though I'm not sure if non-Australians can view it a bit of a watch (or read of the transcript) of this.

Keep in mind that from 2008 when this scheme started to much more recently, Nant and their whisky had been receiving awards and adulation from critics. They had celebrity endorsement Their bottles were highly sought after until it turned out you just needed to keep the faith... faith in the barrels that didn't exist. In the end the man responsible says he's bankrupt but appears still rich enough to live pretty in an expensive mansion in a fancy part of the city of Brisbane.

Get a refund

When the press will start en masse reporting Star Citizen as an outright scam there's little doubt it will be very similar to Nant's.
Chris and the rest of the big-names will also be somewhere living a luxurious life, definitely not in hiding or on the run, giving zero fucks.

The only difference perhaps would be that since crowd-funding is not regarded as an investment with monetary returns to the backers, and the gaming world in general has already moved past the SC hype, it won't be that "noisy" of a scandal. Also, few will be sympathetic to the idiots who put thousands into dreams, ignored all the red flags for years, formed a cult to find comfort in their collective illusions while stigmatizing anyone who pointed out said flags, and will be now moaning about how there is no game to play.

Yeah, even without the red flags, you put thousands (and kept paying repeatedly!) expecting to eventually play a PC game. And now you can't. That must be really tough for you.

Get a refund, backers. Otherwise you deserve all that's coming and guess what: You are actively supporting what's coming.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 09:06

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Absolutely. When SC falls apart, I bet any response is going to be "Why did you not see the red flags" and "Why did you pay over one hundred dollars for any of this?"

Part of me thinks Roberts doesn't have the ego to just cut and run, though.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 09:16

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

The reality is that Roberts will never admit defeat, he'll just keep moving the goalposts and adding new features nobody asked for to trick people into considering it a progress. The hardcore fan base will stick to their guns as only the capitulation of their guru would maybe change the minds of some of them (and they'll blame everybody other than him for it if that ever happens).

# ? Sep 13, 2017 09:22

Milkfred E. Moore: Aug 27, 2006; 'It's easier to imagine the end of the world than the end of capitalism.'

Forgive me, thread, I made a factual error in my previous post. There will be a third response: I loving CALLED IT.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 09:42

zcrow: May 6, 2014; Ah.. yeah... um... tup tup tup tup tup.. this is something we'll add down the line

I just turned 30, and I come to the thread and it's full of airplane cloaca. Stimperor help us.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 09:57

tuo: Jun 17, 2016

zcrow posted:

I just turned 30, and I come to the thread and it's full of airplane cloaca. Stimperor help us.

That's how life is when you are 30. Didn't anyone tell you?

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:03

Raskolnikov: Nov 25, 2003

Mr.Tophat posted:

You're gunna have to explain that to the Eurotrash

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=what%20happens%20in%20Vegas%20stays%20in%20Vegas

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:05

toanoradian: May 31, 2011; The happiest waffligator

zcrow posted:

I just turned 30, and I come to the thread and it's full of airplane cloaca. Stimperor help us.

Keep your jerk-off activities private, man

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:07

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

It's OK guys, Ben's been found. Seats are safe again...

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...r-a7943036.html

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:07

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174394341?t=04h03m19s

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174413078?t=55m22s

:gary:

AP fucked around with this message at 10:25 on Sep 13, 2017

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:09

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174413078?t=01h06m52s

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:35

zcrow: May 6, 2014; Ah.. yeah... um... tup tup tup tup tup.. this is something we'll add down the line

tuo posted:

That's how life is when you are 30. Didn't anyone tell you?

I flunked Being An Adult 101 unfortunately.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:37

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

AP posted:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174413078?t=01h06m52s

Perfect.
"See they are having trouble fishing out bugs because several people are reporting the same ones! So that's why the Evocati were introduc..."
*GAME CRASHES*
"I don't... I can't... I can't do this anymore..."

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:42

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174413078?t=01h13m47s

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:49

intardnation: Feb 18, 2016; I'm going to space!

Raskolnikov posted:

well then

always wondered where the 209 was

# ? Sep 13, 2017 10:51

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

In👏the👏last👏500👏years,👏the👏Fourth👏Stimpire👏has👏dominated👏four👏systems,👏which👏it👏has👏united👏into👏one👏starzone,👏Stimsis.👏The👏Fourth👏Stimpire👏has👏origins👏from👏the👏Ten👏Empire👏War👏in👏which👏10👏of👏the👏United👏Stimpires👏revolted👏against👏each👏rules.👏All👏empires👏except👏for👏the👏fourth👏swore👏freedom👏upon👏their👏citizens.👏There👏is👏no👏free👏speech👏in👏the👏Fourth👏Stimpire,👏and👏all👏self-controlled👏transportation👏has👏been👏made👏illegal👏without👏undergoing👏painful👏medical👏verification👏methods,👏in👏which👏arteries👏are👏severed👏without👏pain👏resistant,👏operated👏entirely👏by👏machines.👏The👏way👏they👏work👏claim👏to👏be👏the👏most👏hygenic👏and👏healthy👏way👏possible,👏but👏these👏machines👏often👏rub👏against👏pain👏points,👏causing👏great👏deals👏of👏pain👏to👏patients.👏The👏heart👏is👏then👏extracted👏from👏the👏body👏and👏placed👏into👏a👏glass👏grinding👏machine.👏Various👏energy👏centers👏are👏also👏dissected👏and👏replaced👏with👏dangerous👏transplants.👏After👏the👏painful,👏52👏hour👏surgical👏procedure,👏patients👏will👏then👏have👏to👏use👏a👏fused👏guidance👏tool,👏which👏pumps👏painful👏resistors👏into👏the👏body👏every👏2👏hours.👏The👏pain👏they👏have👏caused👏is👏so👏bad,👏the👏victim👏would👏freeze👏in👏a👏tense👏position.👏They👏would👏then👏collapse👏afterwards.

Sexual👏stimulation👏in👏any👏way👏within👏the👏grounds👏of👏the👏Fourth👏Stimpire👏is👏strictly👏prohibited,👏and👏anyone👏detected👏even👏touching👏their👏sexual👏organs👏will👏be👏subjected👏to👏a👏penectomy👏or👏if👏the👏offender👏was👏a👏female,👏they👏would👏then👏have👏a👏razor👏inserted👏into👏their👏ovaries.👏They👏would👏pump👏a👏blue👏solution👏into👏the👏womb👏until👏the👏stitchings👏burst.👏Offenders👏would👏also👏be👏forced👏to👏show👏their👏operated👏areas👏in👏public,👏and👏they👏would👏always👏harass👏and👏punch👏them👏to👏a👏pulp,👏against👏their👏will.

Otherwise,👏offenders👏would👏be👏tazed👏with👏the👏worst👏type👏of👏electricity👏in👏the👏systematic👏district,👏causing👏so👏much👏pain,👏the👏victim👏would👏scream👏and👏flail👏in👏madness.👏The👏pain👏would👏also👏triple👏every👏second,👏but👏no👏death👏would👏be👏incurred.👏This👏is👏also👏used👏in👏combat👏against👏enemy👏units,👏which👏is👏why👏all👏UEE👏forces👏must👏wear👏the👏upgraded👏suit👏to👏block👏this👏effect.

However,👏enertainment👏is👏also👏questionable👏in👏UEE👏grounds.👏Sporting👏events👏end👏with👏the👏losing👏team👏being👏rounded👏into👏a👏grinder👏and👏shredded👏on👏live👏television,👏boxing👏matches👏end👏with👏the👏loser👏having👏their👏hands👏removed👏without👏anasthesia,👏flight👏races👏would👏end👏with👏the👏losers👏having👏their👏arms👏and👏legs👏removed,👏then👏being👏injected👏with👏insanity,👏for👏entertainment.👏People👏are👏also👏forced👏into👏these👏events,👏by👏undergoing👏a👏painful👏127👏hour👏procedure👏which👏involves👏tweaking👏the👏muscles👏so👏they👏will👏not👏listen👏to👏brain👏commands,👏and👏then👏having👏a👏painful👏drug👏injected👏which👏also👏causes👏madness👏if👏the👏player👏is👏not👏sporting.👏This👏is👏all👏for👏entertainment,👏and👏anyone👏not👏watching👏any👏of👏it👏during👏sporting👏times👏and👏cheering👏for👏the👏winning👏team,👏they👏will👏be👏imprisoned👏into👏galactic👏camps.

Snuff👏films👏are👏also👏broadcast,👏and👏actors👏are👏actually👏murdered👏just👏for👏entertainment.👏Stealth👏droids👏also👏guide👏these👏forced👏actors👏into👏behaving👏exactly👏as👏the👏director👏dreams,👏otherwise👏they👏will👏be👏punished👏by👏being👏placed👏into👏a👏macerator👏and👏having👏their👏execution👏written👏into👏the👏film.👏Any👏film👏that👏does👏not👏feature👏someone👏being👏murdered👏will👏be👏burned👏and👏the👏entire👏crew👏behind👏it👏will👏be👏executed👏in👏the👏most👏grotesque👏way👏possible👏-👏vivisection.

All👏executions👏are👏broadcast,👏and👏anyone👏who👏misses👏even👏a👏millisecond,👏even👏by👏blinking,👏will👏be👏executed.👏All👏citizens👏must👏boo👏to👏the👏person👏being👏executed,👏and👏the👏family👏is👏gathered👏to👏be👏injected👏with👏eternators,👏which👏cause👏pain👏forever,👏making👏them👏immoral👏but👏feeling👏the👏pain👏tenfold👏every👏millisecond.👏They👏cannot👏pass👏out,👏but👏they👏will👏feel👏like👏it👏forever.

Conquests👏by👏this👏Stimpire👏end👏in👏the👏planet👏being👏razed,👏and👏all👏the👏citizens👏being👏executed👏in👏the👏same👏way👏as👏their👏citizens👏are.👏The👏planet👏is👏then👏destroyed👏and👏all👏remnants👏of👏it👏are👏removed,👏and👏any👏memories👏of👏it👏will👏be👏erased👏instantly👏from👏civil👏minds.👏People👏who👏are👏also👏killed👏are👏also👏erased👏from👏memories,👏and👏all👏memories👏of👏them,👏including👏toys👏and👏pictures,👏are👏destroyed.

Prisoners👏undergo👏40,000👏years👏of👏relentless👏and👏endless👏labor,👏and👏anyone👏not👏complying👏is👏sentenced👏to👏the👏eternator👏injection.👏All👏prisoners👏injected👏with👏eternators👏are👏placed👏into👏capsules👏and👏launched👏into👏far👏space,👏then👏the👏room👏is👏closed👏tight👏to👏ensure👏maximum👏insanity.👏Some👏prisoners👏are👏also👏subjected👏to👏the👏removal👏of👏blood,👏the👏lungs,👏the👏liver,👏the👏genitals,👏the👏skeleton,👏the👏muscles,👏the👏eyes,👏and👏even👏the👏injection👏of👏pressure.👏Prisoners👏sentenced👏to👏pressure👏chambers👏are👏locked👏in👏until👏they👏are👏inflated👏to👏a👏high👏level.👏The👏decompression👏is👏then👏stopped👏to👏make👏sure👏they👏are👏inflated👏and👏uncomfortable.

Children👏born👏on👏the👏14th👏of👏July👏are👏subjected👏to👏the👏removal👏of👏their👏skeleton👏and👏an👏implant👏of👏a👏silver👏liquid👏to👏replace👏it.👏The👏nervous👏sysem👏is👏also👏injected👏in👏various👏parts👏to👏ensure👏it👏is👏five👏times👏more👏sensitive👏than👏the👏average.

Restaurants👏also👏are👏ordered👏to👏serve👏civil👏meat,👏and👏anyone👏attending👏must👏give👏themself👏up👏to👏be👏cooked👏into👏a👏grotesque👏meal.👏They👏are👏cooked👏alive,👏undergoing👏extreme👏pain,👏and👏are👏then👏subjected👏to👏industrial👏grinders👏and👏blenders.👏The👏Stimpire👏orders👏at👏least👏1👏million👏citizens👏to👏be👏dispatched👏every👏day,👏as👏they👏are👏afraid👏the👏population👏may👏overthrow👏them.👏But👏only👏one👏planet👏is👏cared👏for,👏and👏the👏rest👏are👏banned👏from👏eating,👏drinking,👏talking,👏using👏technology,👏touching👏anyone,👏wearing👏unauthorized👏clothes,👏touching👏buildings,👏or👏walking👏a👏centimeter👏out👏of👏designated👏routes.👏Civil👏enforcers👏are👏on👏every👏planet,👏and👏they👏are👏engineered👏so👏that👏they👏are👏40👏times👏larger👏than👏the👏300👏quadrillion👏population.👏At👏least👏7👏billion👏die👏every👏12👏hours👏under👏this👏rule.

Thoughts👏are👏also👏surveyed,👏and👏anyone👏who👏does👏not👏think👏anything👏to👏loving👏the👏Stimpire👏with👏more👏than👏their👏capabilities👏will👏be👏sentenced👏to👏a👏prison.👏Prisoners👏who👏are👏punished👏for👏this👏violation👏will👏meet👏their👏greatest👏fear,👏only👏to👏have👏it👏amplified👏so👏they👏will👏turn👏insane👏as👏they👏imagine👏it👏exactly👏as👏they👏fear👏it.👏They👏then👏undergo👏a👏painful👏extraction👏of👏all👏fluids,👏to👏be👏replaced👏by👏a👏toxin👏which👏causes👏permanent👏irritation.👏The👏unknown👏substance👏keeps👏the👏subject👏aging👏normally,👏except👏they👏will👏never👏die.👏Prisoners👏punished👏in👏this👏way👏are👏unable👏to👏be👏reverted,👏despite👏many👏efforts,👏and👏they👏will👏never👏be👏able👏to👏be👏disposed.

The👏sickening👏truths👏have👏been👏revealed👏only👏today,👏and👏invigilation👏teams👏are👏still👏investigating👏the👏truths👏without👏setting👏foot👏in👏the👏galactic👏space👏of👏this👏sickening👏empire.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 11:09

bandaid.friend: Apr 25, 2017; My first car was a stick

AP posted:

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/174394341?t=04h03m19s

The person in chat who says lol in response to the follow has a 'cheer 100000' tag. That means they've given the channel owner 1200 USD's worth of twitch funny money. They also subscribe which is a monthly fee

bandaid.friend fucked around with this message at 11:34 on Sep 13, 2017

# ? Sep 13, 2017 11:31

AbstractNapper: Jun 5, 2011; I can help

Maybe this was already posted, but I completely missed it...

Star Citizen: Chris Roberts� SCAM
https://medium.com/outpost2/star-citizen-chris-roberts-scam-90f34a5627ab

Early backer. He has some of his facts wrong, probably because he hadn't kept up with all the news about the shitfest and who could blame him.

I wonder if he applied for his refund yet. Also, why cultists haven't yet attacked him in the comments.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 11:35

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

bandaid.friend posted:

The person in chat who says lol in response to the follow has a 'cheer 100000' tag. That means they've given the channel owner 1200 USD's worth of twitch funny money. They also subscribe which is a monthly fee

lol

# ? Sep 13, 2017 11:38

tuo: Jun 17, 2016

zcrow posted:

I flunked Being An Adult 101 unfortunately.

Once you reach 50, you become like Derek. I'm so sorry...

# ? Sep 13, 2017 11:42

StarbloodKiss: Feb 3, 2016; Why is the entire cargo hold full with crates of Krogan Krackers?

I'm legitimately surprised by how easy it is to get a reaction out of Starshillizens. I know I shouldn't be, but if someone's username is enough to jerk your chain, I think its time to reevaluate your life.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 11:48

toanoradian: May 31, 2011; The happiest waffligator

Breetai posted:

In👏the👏last👏500👏years,👏the👏Fourth👏Stimpire👏has👏dominated👏four👏systems,👏which👏it👏has👏united👏into👏one👏starzone,👏Stimsis.👏The👏Fourth👏Stimpire👏has👏origins👏from👏the👏Ten👏Empire👏War👏in👏which👏10👏of👏the👏United👏Stimpires👏revolted👏against👏each👏rules.👏All👏empires👏except👏for👏the👏fourth👏swore👏freedom👏upon👏their👏citizens.👏There👏is👏no👏free👏speech👏in👏the👏Fourth👏Stimpire,👏and👏all👏self-controlled👏transportation👏has👏been👏made👏illegal👏without👏undergoing👏painful👏medical👏verification👏methods,👏in👏which👏arteries👏are👏severed👏without👏pain👏resistant,👏operated👏entirely👏by👏machines.👏The👏way👏they👏work👏claim👏to👏be👏the👏most👏hygenic👏and👏healthy👏way👏possible,👏but👏these👏machines👏often👏rub👏against👏pain👏points,👏causing👏great👏deals👏of👏pain👏to👏patients.👏The👏heart👏is👏then👏extracted👏from👏the👏body👏and👏placed👏into👏a👏glass👏grinding👏machine.👏Various👏energy👏centers👏are👏also👏dissected👏and👏replaced👏with👏dangerous👏transplants.👏After👏the👏painful,👏52👏hour👏surgical👏procedure,👏patients👏will👏then👏have👏to👏use👏a👏fused👏guidance👏tool,👏which👏pumps👏painful👏resistors👏into👏the👏body👏every👏2👏hours.👏The👏pain👏they👏have👏caused👏is👏so👏bad,👏the👏victim👏would👏freeze👏in👏a👏tense👏position.👏They👏would👏then👏collapse👏afterwards.

Sexual👏stimulation👏in👏any👏way👏within👏the👏grounds👏of👏the👏Fourth👏Stimpire👏is👏strictly👏prohibited,👏and👏anyone👏detected👏even👏touching👏their👏sexual👏organs👏will👏be👏subjected👏to👏a👏penectomy👏or👏if👏the👏offender👏was👏a👏female,👏they👏would👏then👏have👏a👏razor👏inserted👏into👏their👏ovaries.👏They👏would👏pump👏a👏blue👏solution👏into👏the👏womb👏until👏the👏stitchings👏burst.👏Offenders👏would👏also👏be👏forced👏to👏show👏their👏operated👏areas👏in👏public,👏and👏they👏would👏always👏harass👏and👏punch👏them👏to👏a👏pulp,👏against👏their👏will.

Otherwise,👏offenders👏would👏be👏tazed👏with👏the👏worst👏type👏of👏electricity👏in👏the👏systematic👏district,👏causing👏so👏much👏pain,👏the👏victim👏would👏scream👏and👏flail👏in👏madness.👏The👏pain👏would👏also👏triple👏every👏second,👏but👏no👏death👏would👏be👏incurred.👏This👏is👏also👏used👏in👏combat👏against👏enemy👏units,👏which👏is👏why👏all👏UEE👏forces👏must👏wear👏the👏upgraded👏suit👏to👏block👏this👏effect.

However,👏enertainment👏is👏also👏questionable👏in👏UEE👏grounds.👏Sporting👏events👏end👏with👏the👏losing👏team👏being👏rounded👏into👏a👏grinder👏and👏shredded👏on👏live👏television,👏boxing👏matches👏end👏with👏the👏loser👏having👏their👏hands👏removed👏without👏anasthesia,👏flight👏races👏would👏end👏with👏the👏losers👏having👏their👏arms👏and👏legs👏removed,👏then👏being👏injected👏with👏insanity,👏for👏entertainment.👏People👏are👏also👏forced👏into👏these👏events,👏by👏undergoing👏a👏painful👏127👏hour👏procedure👏which👏involves👏tweaking👏the👏muscles👏so👏they👏will👏not👏listen👏to👏brain👏commands,👏and👏then👏having👏a👏painful👏drug👏injected👏which👏also👏causes👏madness👏if👏the👏player👏is👏not👏sporting.👏This👏is👏all👏for👏entertainment,👏and👏anyone👏not👏watching👏any👏of👏it👏during👏sporting👏times👏and👏cheering👏for👏the👏winning👏team,👏they👏will👏be👏imprisoned👏into👏galactic👏camps.

Snuff👏films👏are👏also👏broadcast,👏and👏actors👏are👏actually👏murdered👏just👏for👏entertainment.👏Stealth👏droids👏also👏guide👏these👏forced👏actors👏into👏behaving👏exactly👏as👏the👏director👏dreams,👏otherwise👏they👏will👏be👏punished👏by👏being👏placed👏into👏a👏macerator👏and👏having👏their👏execution👏written👏into👏the👏film.👏Any👏film👏that👏does👏not👏feature👏someone👏being👏murdered👏will👏be👏burned👏and👏the👏entire👏crew👏behind👏it👏will👏be👏executed👏in👏the👏most👏grotesque👏way👏possible👏-👏vivisection.

All👏executions👏are👏broadcast,👏and👏anyone👏who👏misses👏even👏a👏millisecond,👏even👏by👏blinking,👏will👏be👏executed.👏All👏citizens👏must👏boo👏to👏the👏person👏being👏executed,👏and👏the👏family👏is👏gathered👏to👏be👏injected👏with👏eternators,👏which👏cause👏pain👏forever,👏making👏them👏immoral👏but👏feeling👏the👏pain👏tenfold👏every👏millisecond.👏They👏cannot👏pass👏out,👏but👏they👏will👏feel👏like👏it👏forever.

Conquests👏by👏this👏Stimpire👏end👏in👏the👏planet👏being👏razed,👏and👏all👏the👏citizens👏being👏executed👏in👏the👏same👏way👏as👏their👏citizens👏are.👏The👏planet👏is👏then👏destroyed👏and👏all👏remnants👏of👏it👏are👏removed,👏and👏any👏memories👏of👏it👏will👏be👏erased👏instantly👏from👏civil👏minds.👏People👏who👏are👏also👏killed👏are👏also👏erased👏from👏memories,👏and👏all👏memories👏of👏them,👏including👏toys👏and👏pictures,👏are👏destroyed.

Prisoners👏undergo👏40,000👏years👏of👏relentless👏and👏endless👏labor,👏and👏anyone👏not👏complying👏is👏sentenced👏to👏the👏eternator👏injection.👏All👏prisoners👏injected👏with👏eternators👏are👏placed👏into👏capsules👏and👏launched👏into👏far👏space,👏then👏the👏room👏is👏closed👏tight👏to👏ensure👏maximum👏insanity.👏Some👏prisoners👏are👏also👏subjected👏to👏the👏removal👏of👏blood,👏the👏lungs,👏the👏liver,👏the👏genitals,👏the👏skeleton,👏the👏muscles,👏the👏eyes,👏and👏even👏the👏injection👏of👏pressure.👏Prisoners👏sentenced👏to👏pressure👏chambers👏are👏locked👏in👏until👏they👏are👏inflated👏to👏a👏high👏level.👏The👏decompression👏is👏then👏stopped👏to👏make👏sure👏they👏are👏inflated👏and👏uncomfortable.

Children👏born👏on👏the👏14th👏of👏July👏are👏subjected👏to👏the👏removal👏of👏their👏skeleton👏and👏an👏implant👏of👏a👏silver👏liquid👏to👏replace👏it.👏The👏nervous👏sysem👏is👏also👏injected👏in👏various👏parts👏to👏ensure👏it👏is👏five👏times👏more👏sensitive👏than👏the👏average.

Restaurants👏also👏are👏ordered👏to👏serve👏civil👏meat,👏and👏anyone👏attending👏must👏give👏themself👏up👏to👏be👏cooked👏into👏a👏grotesque👏meal.👏They👏are👏cooked👏alive,👏undergoing👏extreme👏pain,👏and👏are👏then👏subjected👏to👏industrial👏grinders👏and👏blenders.👏The👏Stimpire👏orders👏at👏least👏1👏million👏citizens👏to👏be👏dispatched👏every👏day,👏as👏they👏are👏afraid👏the👏population👏may👏overthrow👏them.👏But👏only👏one👏planet👏is👏cared👏for,👏and👏the👏rest👏are👏banned👏from👏eating,👏drinking,👏talking,👏using👏technology,👏touching👏anyone,👏wearing👏unauthorized👏clothes,👏touching👏buildings,👏or👏walking👏a👏centimeter👏out👏of👏designated👏routes.👏Civil👏enforcers👏are👏on👏every👏planet,👏and👏they👏are👏engineered👏so👏that👏they👏are👏40👏times👏larger👏than👏the👏300👏quadrillion👏population.👏At👏least👏7👏billion👏die👏every👏12👏hours👏under👏this👏rule.

Thoughts👏are👏also👏surveyed,👏and👏anyone👏who👏does👏not👏think👏anything👏to👏loving👏the👏Stimpire👏with👏more👏than👏their👏capabilities👏will👏be👏sentenced👏to👏a👏prison.👏Prisoners👏who👏are👏punished👏for👏this👏violation👏will👏meet👏their👏greatest👏fear,👏only👏to👏have👏it👏amplified👏so👏they👏will👏turn👏insane👏as👏they👏imagine👏it👏exactly👏as👏they👏fear👏it.👏They👏then👏undergo👏a👏painful👏extraction👏of👏all👏fluids,👏to👏be👏replaced👏by👏a👏toxin👏which👏causes👏permanent👏irritation.👏The👏unknown👏substance👏keeps👏the👏subject👏aging👏normally,👏except👏they👏will👏never👏die.👏Prisoners👏punished👏in👏this👏way👏are👏unable👏to👏be👏reverted,👏despite👏many👏efforts,👏and👏they👏will👏never👏be👏able👏to👏be👏disposed.

The👏sickening👏truths👏have👏been👏revealed👏only👏today,👏and👏invigilation👏teams👏are👏still👏investigating👏the👏truths👏without👏setting👏foot👏in👏the👏galactic👏space👏of👏this👏sickening👏empire.

Sweet, it's a new, unique permutation of an old meme. Truly it is this kind of fresh reinvention of old ideas that will keep the threads going for 2178 pages more!

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:02

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

StarbloodKiss posted:

I'm legitimately surprised by how easy it is to get a reaction out of Starshillizens. I know I shouldn't be, but if someone's username is enough to jerk your chain, I think its time to reevaluate your life.

It's plain old emotional investment. These guys have made Star Citizen their everything. Insulting the game is the same if not worse than insulting their family.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:02

Maw: Feb 18, 2013; Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.

toanoradian posted:

Sweet, it's a new, unique permutation of an old meme. Truly it is this kind of fresh reinvention of old ideas that will keep the threads going for 2178 pages more!

this but unironically, except i'll claim it's ironic if anyone asks

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:07

tuo: Jun 17, 2016

Over in EVE someone got permabanned for threatening to cut off the hands of a goon (after said goon basically handed over his entire alliance to Goonswam).

Reading that actually makes me wish SC comes out, is good, and the goons ruin it!

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:08

BeigeJacket: Jul 21, 2005

AbstractNapper posted:

Maybe this was already posted, but I completely missed it...

Star Citizen: Chris Roberts� SCAM
https://medium.com/outpost2/star-citizen-chris-roberts-scam-90f34a5627ab

Early backer. He has some of his facts wrong, probably because he hadn't kept up with all the news about the shitfest and who could blame him.

I wonder if he applied for his refund yet. Also, why cultists haven't yet attacked him in the comments.

This was NOT a well written ARTICLE.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:09

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:14

Mangoose: Dec 11, 2007; Come out with your pants down!

Mirificus posted:

Goons are faking all the refund requests to make it seem like people don't believe in the project anymore! That said, if people that goons made up don't stop pretending to pull their fake money out of the project, it could fail!

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:20

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

StarbloodKiss posted:

I'm legitimately surprised by how easy it is to get a reaction out of Starshillizens. I know I shouldn't be, but if someone's username is enough to jerk your chain, I think its time to reevaluate your life.

There's no content, the last link shows that the current hot topics of conversation among Star Citizen fans on twitch are the idiot trolls with their stupid usernames and making fun of a guy who streamed slow flying from port Oliver to some comm array.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:22

bandaid.friend: Apr 25, 2017; My first car was a stick

tuo posted:

Over in EVE someone got permabanned for threatening to cut off the hands of a goon (after said goon basically handed over his entire alliance to Goonswam).

Reading that actually makes me wish SC comes out, is good, and the goons ruin it!

What an idiot, i can post just as poorly without hands. Some in this very thread can post without brains

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:33

McGiggins: Apr 4, 2014; by R. Guyovich; Lipstick Apathy

I take offense to that...

I think?

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:35

Truga: May 4, 2014; Lipstick Apathy

tuo posted:

Over in EVE someone got permabanned for threatening to cut off the hands of a goon (after said goon basically handed over his entire alliance to Goonswam).

Reading that actually makes me wish SC comes out, is good, and the goons ruin it!

yeah, I still really want this game to release so I can crash into people and read their fanmail after.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:35

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 07:11

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

AP posted:

There's no content, the last link shows that the current hot topics of conversation among Star Citizen fans on twitch are the idiot trolls with their stupid usernames and making fun of a guy who streamed slow flying from port Oliver to some comm array.

The trolls with their usernames popping up on stream is legitimately the only fun and joy to be had watching the whole thing. The near parody-level mess that is currently being called Star Citizen is a joyless, soul-destroying experience even before you take into account Chris Roberts' theft of disability checks.

Imagine, based on the behavior of the backers, that this game came out and was everything imagined and promised. The following events would need to find a point of equilibrium:

1) The incredibly horrifying, genetically and intellectually defective current backer base would stay put, and metastasize into an even more toxic form due to their "victory"
2) The general gaming public will flood the gates, creating an immediate culture shock amongst the aforementioned damaged individuals, causing an immediate and perpetual "us vs them" war based on whether or not the "late-comers" can catch up to their prepurchased social status
3) Goons will flood the game in incredible numbers, stoking the fires of #1 and #2 above, encouraging the class war on the forums, finding and exploiting every crack and crevice in the game, and infiltrating group #1 above with the greatest of ease for future LOLs

I think I've changed my mind. This game needs to come out ASAP.

# ? Sep 13, 2017 12:36

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

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