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quote:We have separate hobbies. As in I like to sit at my computer with video games, computing/programming, digital art, forums, etc. , and she likes to sit in bed with television. I only lay down late at night when I'm ready for sleep, and bed is her relaxation time for every minute she's not off her rear end doing something. You should probably make more of an effort to spend time with your wife, sorry Like, not "all your free time" or whatever, but, y'know, think of activities that you'll both like, or at least figure out a TV show to watch with her every once in a while if you don't like Gilmore Girls You're kind of taking her for granted, and maybe she's doing the same to you, but one of you has gotta break that cycle and I don't have a way of talking to her so I'm telling you instead. Everything else about your life will seem better if you're happier with your wife. If you can't manage that much, then poo poo I guess you should get a divorce and move away quote:I have a dark secret goons: Aw thanks  Here's one more since that one was short quote:A recent thread about idiots' medical notes came up in GBS and reminded me of my own dumb-assery in that respect. I dunno if this one could possibly be true but it did make me reflexively grab my crotch in horror so bravo
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Sep 14, 2017 01:20
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Spend-Time-With-Your-Wife Goon: Seriously try Date Night. Pick a single night each week and make it a night where you do something together. It could just be Netflix and Chill, it could be going out to dinner or a movie or any lame thing, as long as its Date Night. It sounds lame and cliche' but setting and keeping an intention goes a long, long way towards making it work and then you can have the rest of the week be less dedicated and lazier, because goddammit you made sure she felt special on Date Night. Basically if you can't commit one night a week to making an effort to take your wife out to dinner and make her feel special, I'm sure the next 40 years will fly right by, lol (but if she's so deeply religious that she hates gay and trans people then maybe  IDK)
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Sep 14, 2017 01:34
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Bust Rodd posted:Netflix and Chill I think there was some discussion about this phrase in the /r/relationships thread recently wherein some kid (and me!) learned that this is apparently not literal and actually is just code for casual bonin'. Which meaning were YOU going for? 'cause either (or both!) would work.
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Sep 14, 2017 01:46
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Do rose thorns work like retractable fish hooks? That doesn't seem right.
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Sep 14, 2017 01:48
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Shoving thorny rose in dick goon:  Bible belt goon: You come off as a jackass in that confession. You need to try connecting with your wife more or get a divorce. Otherwise you'll spend years slowly starting to resent each other before one of you decides murder-suicide is the best option.
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Sep 14, 2017 01:48
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Bible belt goon, have you considered putting a baby in her? Nothing fixes a relationship like a baby!
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Sep 14, 2017 02:01
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Bible belt goon: I am also in the Bible belt, so I feel your pain on that. But that aside, why did you marry this woman if your religious views are this different?
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Sep 14, 2017 02:04
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taiyoko posted:Bible belt goon: I am also in the Bible belt, so I feel your pain on that. But that aside, why did you marry this woman if your religious views are this different? Not just religious views, from the confession I would say that Bible belt goon and his wife are incompatible on almost every important category for a relationship (family, religion, politics, how to spend free time). I don't want to sound insensitive but...what made you want to get married to her in the first place? It also doesn't sound like this is all something that developed over time. I mean, you knew she was religious and close to her family before you got engaged/married. Was none of that a red flag until now? I'm gonna assume your wife is smoking hot because for some reason it sounds like you have made a real poor life choice.
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Sep 14, 2017 02:23
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It sucks that you had to marry someone before learning anything about them. Often people get to know someone prior to getting married and can figure things out like "we have totally different views on everything and totally different interests" and are able to weed out people they are incomparable with. You obviously were married via some sort of lottery system, so that makes it harder. It's too bad you didn't have any time to learn anything about your future spouse prior to marriage.
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Sep 14, 2017 02:27
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It was probably an arranged marriage. Or he's just a loving idiot for marrying someone he's so incompatible with.
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Sep 14, 2017 02:29
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Solice Kirsk posted:Do rose thorns work like retractable fish hooks? That doesn't seem right. No but there are diseases you get by getting pricked by a rose. Skin sporotrichosis: This is the most common form of this disease. Symptoms of this form include nodular lesions or bumps in the skin, at the point of entry and also along lymph nodes and vessels. The lesion starts off small and painless, and ranges in color from pink to purple. Left untreated, the lesion becomes larger and look similar to a boil and more lesions will appear, until a chronic ulcer develops. Usually it happens on the hands and fingers...
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Sep 14, 2017 02:33
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I went to highschool with some guys who fell into this trap. Goony dorks who never had a girlfriend meet a girl freshman year of college who turns out to be a No Sex Before Marriage type. They're so smitten because they finally have a girlfriend and so afraid that they'll not be able to find another that they buy into it and get married at like 20. As neither of them have any sexual experience and are bad at it, the wife immediately decides she doesn't like sex and gains 40 pounds to boot. After a couple years the dude is ready to bail so the wife conveniently takes up an interest in sex again just long enough to get pregnant. It sounds redpill or something, but I swear I know a half a dozen people in this scenario.
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Sep 14, 2017 02:51
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Get out of the South maybe.
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Sep 14, 2017 05:24
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Lote posted:No but there are diseases you get by getting pricked by a rose. This dude's dick is gonna look like a Rough Rider condom and his spouse is going to reap the benefits!
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Sep 14, 2017 05:51
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Solice Kirsk posted:Bible belt goon, have you considered putting a baby in her? Nothing fixes a relationship like a baby! Also, try opening up the relationship. That's a great way of adding a little romance to marriage!
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Sep 14, 2017 14:49
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OutOfPrint posted:Also, try opening up the relationship. That's a great way of adding a little romance to marriage! Think we can combine the two, open up the relationship and let someone else put a baby in her.
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Sep 14, 2017 14:54
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Zil posted:Think we can combine the two, open up the relationship and let someone else put a baby in her. While you watch. Berth ell pup.
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Sep 14, 2017 15:06
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I should probably bother reading ahead in the queuequote:im the guy who drunk bitches about his wife and how our free time doesn't line up because i don't get to play video games enough You're really good at typing drunk if it's any consolation quote:I was driving drunk several years ago up in Lancaster PA. Which, if you know the area, means there are a lot of Amish. I'd really think that even if the buggy didn't damage your car to undriveability, the horse would have At any rate yeah when your demons involve someone losing an arm, facing them will probably involve getting in trouble and you need to accept that and make your choice accordingly.
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Sep 14, 2017 15:25
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I know we're supposed to accept these confessions at face value but c'mon, no one hits a horse and drives away unharmed.
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Sep 14, 2017 15:33
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Unless he was driving some monster sized tank of a car this didn't happen. There's a news story earlier this year about a buggy hit and run and the car got hosed up just hitting the buggy, let alone a horse as well. Anyway to play along with it, if you want to find out if you killed the guy just search for news stories about it. If he's still alive you could always get back in touch and repent, i'm sure he could use a hand.
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Sep 14, 2017 15:38
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Yeah I keep hearing that if you hit a moose you will literally total your car and maybe die; I think horses are about the same size as moose are. No way could you hit a horse at 90mph and drive home.
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Sep 14, 2017 15:45
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I wonder if that dude was ridiculously drunk and hit a wooden sign or something. I could maybe buy smashing the cart, but no way you hit and drag a horse and don't have major damage to the car. And do limbs usually get torn off in crashes?
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Sep 14, 2017 16:04
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Good try duder http://www.lancasterfarming.com/mid...f2b5b3565c.html
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Sep 14, 2017 16:06
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Only way to atone is let a horse rip your arm off, dude.
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Sep 14, 2017 16:45
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quote:I don't mind spending time with my wife watching an episode or two a week, but goddamn if I'm going spend three nights in a row watching Gilmore Girls for five hours So much this.  She loves mainlining tv shows. Like five episodes a night, night after night of the same thing. Horrible, horrible tv shows. Also, she does it with her in her recliner with her laptop, so she can facebook or whatever, and then has to restart episodes multiple times because she 'wasn't paying attention'. We don't even try to watch tv together anymore. Sometimes I'll hang out in the living room with my tablet, or a book, or my 3ds for a while, most of the time I just use my computer in my office. But it's fine because we're both pretty independent people and make a point of spending plenty of time together when it's not a 'zone out' night. v  vAlso, I wasn't allowed to watch tv growing up, so honestly I don't even like 98% of it
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Sep 14, 2017 16:59
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the obvious solution is to eat the booty
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Sep 14, 2017 17:31
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googled it and huh, horses can get bigger than moose. No poo poo, I thought moose were bigger. Like, most horses aren't, but the big ones like ones for pulling carts can get up to 2200lbs
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Sep 14, 2017 18:20
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Hit and Run goon: The only way I can possibly see this happening is if he was driving one of those old 80s SUVs that were constructed almost entirely of steel. My stepdad T-boned a Ford Explorer with his old Chevy Blazer and totaled the Explorer. The damage to his truck was a dented grill. That was only at 30 mph so I'm still calling bullshit on the story, but that's how I could see it happening. That thing was a loving tank and even though it got like 10 MPG I still miss it.
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Sep 14, 2017 18:30
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Yeah you don't want to slam into some of the huge industrial sized horses. They're literally the big-rig trucks of the horse world vs the fussy sports models for racing and "walkin' funny" At least the huge horses tend to be the chill ones too. They were bred for industrial work so they didn't want them to think of an ant and have a panic attack resulting their legs instantly snapping.
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Sep 14, 2017 18:31
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Someone put it great in another thread. With these horses it's not "thought of ants and died" but "thought of ants and killed everything in its immediate surroundings"
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Sep 14, 2017 18:32
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sugar free jazz posted:googled it and huh, horses can get bigger than moose. No poo poo, I thought moose were bigger. Like, most horses aren't, but the big ones like ones for pulling carts can get up to 2200lbs Selective breeding is crazy
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Sep 14, 2017 18:32
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Hit and Run goon: there's a lesson here. You should always leave a note.
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Sep 14, 2017 19:04
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Maybe they were driving a school bus. School busses are basically horizontal buildings on wheels.
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Sep 14, 2017 19:25
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I guess the Amish murder fantasist lives in a city if they think they can get a horse stuck under their bumper, just makes the whole thing weirder though.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:07
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Trump fesh from a few pages back is probably fake, but just in case: "Why can't I, just once, get a day about my culture? American culture? We have everything other cultures have - delicious food like fried chicken, hot dogs, burgers. Drinks like beer and lemonade. Country music like Toby Keith and Blake Shelton." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_(United_States)
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Sep 14, 2017 20:09
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Amish Biggie was a fun typo that is making a great mental image in my head
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Sep 14, 2017 20:19
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LonesomeCrowdedWest posted:Amish Biggie was a fun typo that is making a great mental image in my head "Gimme the loom, gimme the loom. I'm a bad boy..."
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Sep 14, 2017 20:32
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swing and amish
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Sep 14, 2017 20:55
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Baxter posted:swing and amish 
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Sep 14, 2017 20:57
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Now I want to rewatch Banshee.
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Sep 14, 2017 21:12
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