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xzzy posted:Always shut unused ports off so people don't even have opportunity to hijack a connection. Lol, I have had CS unplug active things and put their dumb loving connections on my switch. Then I have to go upstairs and unplug their poo poo when the engineering network tanks because now we suddenly have TWO DHCP servers!
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Sep 14, 2017 15:15
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ratbert90 posted:Lol, I have had CS unplug active things and put their dumb loving connections on my switch. My dude, have you heard of DHCP snooping?
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Sep 14, 2017 15:19
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Ugh we have a new York office with no onsite techs. Troubleshooting over the phone suuuuucks. So glad I don't do phone support normally.
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Sep 14, 2017 15:43
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Cat Army 
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Dick Trauma posted:EDIT: I soothed my hurt feelings by solving a weird Outlook problem with POWERRRRRRSHELLLLLL... I'm not even joking. This poo poo isn't all that that complex, but I've been trying to do some of this poo poo for years. It ain't easy scripting when you get interrupted all day every day constantly. Just finished a "For all employees in the HR system that are active, where no AD username is found, create an account and mailbox." Another script finds active/active employees and updates poo poo like departments, managers and job titles. Just need to write the termination script to shut down accounts, set up forwarding, yadda yadda. It's not yet actually active since HR needs apparently over two weeks to figure out if the job titles from my -whatif logs are right. I wouldn't have been able to do this without some SQL knowledge, and a little manual work to match the employee_code from the HR/ERP system to the employee_id field in AD. Pushing data from powershell to PowerBI is pretty sick as well. We're trialing O365 right now and in about 20 minutes I hacked together bits of the above script with a remote connection to our exchange server to get "HR" employee info, exchange mailbox stats, and created a PowerBI report for the purpose of basically shaming people into reducing their mailbox sizes and posted it along side of an O365 presentation, both embededed into a sharepoint news post. Kind of blows my mind how quickly I can cobble together what could be nearly real time data, in a visualization, that I can then embed into things like Sharepoint. I'm thinking of building a monitoring dashboard via powershell & powerBI eventually. The thing I think is really cool that I haven't completed yet, is intended to allow for automatic software provisioning based off of job title, location, etc. The script connects to AzureAD to pull AD user information about the logged on user and adds a string registry key that our RMM tool (Autotask Endpoint Management) ingests. From the cloud management side, I should be able to create a filter for all of our laptops that are in and out of the office where "customfield4 contains PROJECT MANAGER and SOFTWARE PACKAGE contains Microsoft PROJECT is not installed" and install Microsoft Project or some poo poo like that. There will be more to it, but fuuuuuck that'd be nice. Oh yeah, I stumbled onto the WASP powershell module and automated the install of a software that wasn't previously able to be automated without using AutoIT. Same poo poo really, but this one at least has a chance of working through our RMM tool. I loving love powershell.
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Sep 14, 2017 15:49
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ratbert90 posted:Lol, I have had CS unplug active things and put their dumb loving connections on my switch. Yeah there's no fixing that. But you can turn it into a pretty good story by turning port security on, shut the port down if a new mac address is detected. Watch them bring down the entire company trying to find a port that works!
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Sep 14, 2017 15:56
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goobernoodles posted:There should be a thread devoted to powershell. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3286440
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Sep 14, 2017 16:00
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More Helpdesk shenanigans. "Detailed description: user would like to create a calendar in the hr outlook Troubleshooting steps: asked to reboot system"  I kind of want to email that CSR and simply say "Really?"
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Sep 14, 2017 17:34
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Jerk McJerkface posted:I used to pull a cables, and I'd prefer to have boxes of different colors, so when I did bulk pulls it was a little easier for the laborers that would never remember the cables they were pulling to sort it out. I get that the end product looks like rainbow vomit but man it's easier than returning to a job, finding a huge new spool of unlabeled cable and the guys just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you are dumb.
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Sep 14, 2017 17:46
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Why do people introduce themselves on a call? Got an hour long call and the guy has been giving his intro and backstory for, what is it now, 8 minutes? M'man, we know why we're here, let's get to the meat, this meeting matters, let's get to it. If I wanted to meet you, I'd find you on Facebook, other than that let's gooooo!
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Sep 14, 2017 18:09
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Clearly you don't understand the concept of "selling yourself" to your customers. 
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Sep 14, 2017 18:32
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SamDabbers posted:My dude, have you heard of DHCP snooping? I did shortly after that!
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Sep 14, 2017 18:33
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Company SSO (for everything but IM) password requires uppercase, lowercase, number, and special character to be present. OK. Same company IM password requires uppercase, lowercase, number... and doesn't recognize special characters as valid. 
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Sep 14, 2017 18:40
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Wrath of the Bitch King posted:Clearly you don't understand the concept of "selling yourself" to your customers. Ahh yeah I've been working with VMware since 4.0 Yeah I remember standing up my first 3.5 host Oh you should have been around in the 2.5 days I remember piloting a 1.5 server I was in the limited beta Mother of god people! I don't care if you just downloaded your first hypervisor last week, what do you know Get enough IT people in a room and someone will mention an antiquated technology within the first 30 minutes to demonstrate their bona fides. Stripe's law.
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Sep 14, 2017 18:41
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Everything is a pissing contest. It's rare, but I love when technical people get in a meeting and just get down to business. Generally you can gauge someone's acumen on any given subject within 2 minutes of a conversation. No filibustering required.
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Sep 14, 2017 18:45
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lol if you were there for the invention of the difference engine, you n00bs
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Sep 14, 2017 19:06
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totalnewbie posted:lol if you were there for the invention of the difference engine, you n00bs I built Stonehenge. Wrap it up, children.
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Sep 14, 2017 19:23
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This should be a good laugh to hopefully brighten someone's day. A users local printer failed to come into an RDS session this morning. I can't force sign them out because they are doing stuff. I kind of forget about it until they call at 2PM (they had emailed at 7:30AM before I even got and they got my reply at 8:00AM). I mentioned they needed to disconnect from the application and stay out of it for 15 minutes (auto-termination is 10 minutes, but why cut it close). I called it terminating the connection. Their phone call "my printer still isn't working in %program%" they pause for a second I'm about to ask if they terminated the session "you mentioned assassinating my session how do I do that?" I told them how and that I could force it and did that after seeing them disconnect. Printer was brought in just fine and next time they are just going to close the program and get a coffee to kill the session. I had to share the phrase assassinate the session.
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Sep 14, 2017 19:56
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My boss wants me to terminate and connect 5 access points. Okay? I think I am a pretty expensive access point installer but hey, today is pretty slow. All my desktop guys are busy so I don't have people to I take the company lift to the new facility expansion and install the first one. As I go into the IDF to grab another, the facilities person comes and takes the key of the lift. I hail him down and ask..  Hey, I am using that lift! This is not IT's lift. Are you needing the lift? Can I use it when you are done? This isn't IT's lift, I am putting it back in storage. So your issue is that I am using the lift at all? We have repeatedly told IT to not use this lift. Is this not the companies lift? Its the companies, but my department owns it. You do understand that this prevents us from finishing the office expansion right? I don't care what you have to do to get your own things done you aren't going to use my stuff. This isn't your stuff and I guarantee someone important is not going to be happy about your hissy fit.So now people more important than me are arguing over this god drat lift. Lounging in the coffee bar without a care in the world.
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Sep 14, 2017 19:58
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loving pissing contests, what the gently caress.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:00
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We had turf wars in our data center a ways back, every department put a crash cart in there and it was pretty chill. You take one from the pool, do your thing, and put it back when done. But then someone got huffy that everyone was using THEIR crash cart and started printing labels about who it belonged to and not to touch it. It took about a month before every crash cart had similar ownership claims stuck to them. I ignored the labels, somehow never got yelled at. Guess people didn't care as much as they thought they did. 
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Sep 14, 2017 20:03
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:loving pissing contests, what the gently caress. The facilities guy is the owners brother, I just learned. You can't have the loving building handy man be untouchable holy gently caress. There are actual discussions going on about buying another lift so this baby can have his own. 1000 employee company. btw :business: Sickening fucked around with this message at 20:13 on Sep 14, 2017 |
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Sep 14, 2017 20:11
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:loving pissing contests, what the gently caress. Piss on the dude from up on the lift
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Sep 14, 2017 20:12
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Bob Morales posted:Piss on the dude from up on the lift
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Sep 14, 2017 20:13
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Sickening posted:The facilities guy is the owners brother, I just learned. You can't have the loving building handy man be untouchable holy gently caress. There are actual discussions going on about buying another lift so this baby can have his own. 
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Sep 14, 2017 20:14
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:I've been pissing on people since before it was cool. loving pissters.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:15
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Sickening posted:The facilities guy is the owners brother, I just learned. You can't have the loving building handy man be untouchable holy gently caress. There are actual discussions going on about buying another lift so this baby can have his own.  Pod Integrity Compromised
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Sep 14, 2017 20:17
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Makes some sense, in my experience "facilities" is where you send salty fuckers that can't do an actual job. If you got a petulant manchild that says no to every request no matter how reasonable, you make them a facilities manager.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:21
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:Why do people introduce themselves on a call? Got an hour long call and the guy has been giving his intro and backstory for, what is it now, 8 minutes? M'man, we know why we're here, let's get to the meat, this meeting matters, let's get to it. There was a director on our calls who would without fail eventually bring up the fact that he's from New York City. Like dude we're all in L.A, we live in the big city too, nobody's impressed.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:23
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I like our facilities department. They manage all of the printers.skooma512 posted:There was a director on our calls who would without fail eventually bring up the fact that he's from New York City. New York is obviously the best city, you live in some podunk hippy town where people happen to make movies.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:24
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xzzy posted:Makes some sense, in my experience "facilities" is where you send salty fuckers that can't do an actual job. If you got a petulant manchild that says no to every request no matter how reasonable, you make them a facilities manager. See, because that's me. The joke is that I'm the petulant manchild WHY AREN'T YOU LAUGHING
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Sep 14, 2017 20:24
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docbeard posted:I built Stonehenge. Wrap it up, children. I invented rocks, luser. 
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Sep 14, 2017 20:25
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Just back to the mouse jiggler for a minute: Monitor how often each workstation gets locked/logged off/shut down. Workstations that remain unlocked for unusually long can be scheduled for special hands-on maintenance.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:43
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xzzy posted:Makes some sense, in my experience "facilities" is where you send salty fuckers that can't do an actual job. If you got a petulant manchild that says no to every request no matter how reasonable, you make them a facilities manager. Does facilities include custodian duties? Replace his lift key with a dirty plunger
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Sep 14, 2017 20:48
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BOOTY-ADE posted:Does facilities include custodian duties? Replace his lift key with a dirty plunger Switch to an extremely high fibre diet and enjoy curry night.
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Sep 14, 2017 20:54
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:Get enough IT people in a room and someone will mention an antiquated technology within the first 30 minutes to demonstrate their bona fides. Stripe's law.  "Should I be adding things like the RSA token generator?" "Yes it's a server" "Well it's really more of an appliance" "It has a CPU, Memory, and a network port so it goes in the list" "Well if that's the case wouldn't I have to add things like Network switches and firewalls? They all have CPU's etc as well"  loving nerds man, words man also changed jobs into handling the companies cyber security and compliance or somesuch and has a habit of jumping ahead of peoples conversations to interject with an info dump.
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Sep 14, 2017 21:04
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:Get enough IT people in a room and someone will mention an antiquated technology within the first 30 minutes to demonstrate their bona fides. Stripe's law. Oh yeah, I remember people talking about that back in the day. They didn't call it Stripe's law of course but same idea. That was back on a BBS, long before the SA forums. I know like ten people beat me to this joke but I don't care.
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Sep 14, 2017 21:04
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Super Slash posted:Something like this happened today as the Senior Engineer I sit next to was asked to compile some kinda vague list for every server device in the building, at some point him and the guy requesting it talk nearby and senior needs clarification about what he's looking for; Plus, run the scenario out to its conclusion. If you give your boss a list of servers and it includes appliances, you're going to get credit for your initiative. If you include network devices because they have CPUs in them, do you see any way you don't get the "is this guy serious" look? The Nards Pan posted:Oh yeah, I remember people talking about that back in the day. They didn't call it Stripe's law of course but same idea. That was back on a BBS, long before the SA forums.
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Sep 14, 2017 21:13
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:Get enough IT people in a room and someone will mention an antiquated technology within the first 30 minutes to demonstrate their bona fides. Stripe's law. Actually I never talk about SA IRL.
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Sep 14, 2017 21:18
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MC Fruit Stripe posted:This is just a really weird thing for a senior engineer not to understand.
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Sep 14, 2017 21:33
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22 Eargesplitten posted:Actually I never talk about SA IRL. 
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