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Il Federale posted:Uhhhh...how? He thought women had penises until he was 17, duh.
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Sep 18, 2017 03:50
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That other goon upthread clams to know multiple women who can piss standing up iirc. Not gonna bother scrolling.
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Sep 18, 2017 04:18
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Lordy just search pornhub if you need proof.
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Sep 18, 2017 04:21
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All right, I've seen a video of this and basically you know how you can blow up a balloon and then stretch the mouth of the balloon as the air escapes and it makes a high-pitched sound? It's like that.
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Sep 18, 2017 04:22
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I'm like super late butloquacius posted:Amish biggie
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Sep 18, 2017 05:24
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quote:I love scratching my rear end in a top hat. I don't mean a little pick or an occasional scratch, I mean full four fingers digging in there until I bleed. When I'm out or at work, I have to resist the initial urge, because once I start I keep wanting to do it over and over again. I think this is one of those "fixations" you hear about sometimes Anyway hope you're sitting down for this one quote:I saw another thread posted recently that triggered me into writing this. It's is about a girl, and girls, and guys, and other things. For my sake I'm going to short cut a lot of this but will be willing to give follow-up details for any questions. Also, will be using fake names. The TLDR is that surprise surprise a person who suggests an open relationship in response to getting caught being unfaithful turns out to prioritize their own openness over their partner's  This instance of it did last a little longer and was slightly more mutual than the stereotypical r/relationships version where an open relationship is "I'm going to keep cheating on you, and you're going to stop whining at me about it and tell all our friends how great it is that I'm doing it," but it still ended like you'd expect. Glad you got out though, anon, and at least you got some threeways out of the deal. "cheaper housing" in the US though 
loquacius fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Sep 18, 2017 |
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Sep 18, 2017 15:51
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Being married to one woman is enough, never understood how someone willingly goes into things with 2 females, knowing their mood swings can hit 7000 ft homeruns. Good for you getting out and getting her citizenship. I would have been a petty rear end in a top hat like she was most of the relationship and moved out and forced her to go back to whatever EU nation she came from
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Sep 18, 2017 15:58
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I don't get open relationships at all. Maybe that's my British prudishness or something, but just seems like more an emotional timebomb than anything.
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Sep 18, 2017 16:07
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European Ploy man should not have used Flintstones names for the women in his terrible love triangle story if he wanted me to take it seriously.
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Sep 18, 2017 16:08
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Theophany posted:I don't get open relationships at all. Maybe that's my British prudishness or something, but just seems like more an emotional timebomb than anything. Most of the time it's a way for a person who went to college to manipulate their partner into letting them cheat I'm a cynical person I guess but my reading of open relationships is "I literally don't care who you let do what to you as long as you let me keep pounding strange" at worst and "I want to break up but I don't want to have to buy all my own furniture all over again or explain anything to my parents" at best
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Sep 18, 2017 16:17
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I had a group of friends who are all poly with each other. It's pretty disgusting since they have kids and no one knows whose they really are and they are constantly fighting with each other and dragging the kids into it. Not having them around is one of the silver linings of one of my buddy's suicides.
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Sep 18, 2017 16:25
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loquacius posted:Most of the time it's a way for a person who went to college to manipulate their partner into letting them cheat Going to Ikea is a loving drag, in fairness. Solice Kirsk posted:I had a group of friends who are all poly with each other. It's pretty disgusting since they have kids and no one knows whose they really are and they are constantly fighting with each other and dragging the kids into it. Not having them around is one of the silver linings of one of my buddy's suicides. 
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Sep 18, 2017 16:26
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Uhoh, I see I'm 2090 posts behind ITT, so will never catch up. Can someone tell me or link to any developments with the guy who was loving his ex-psychotherapist? Last I remember is he was toying with the idea of leaving her but the relationship didn't sound hopeless and she was hot and great in the sack (OK I might have fantasised that last bit myself).
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Sep 18, 2017 16:47
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BigBadSteve posted:Uhoh, I see I'm 2090 posts behind ITT, so will never catch up. Can someone tell me or link to any developments with the guy who was loving his ex-psychotherapist? Last I remember is he was toying with the idea of leaving her but the relationship didn't sound hopeless and she was hot and great in the sack (OK I might have fantasised that last bit myself). Hasn't posted in months, presumed dead(or married)
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Sep 18, 2017 16:51
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bradzilla posted:Hasn't posted in months, presumed dead(or married) What is the difference?
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Sep 18, 2017 17:25
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There is no such thing as peeing like a woman, there is however "peeing like an rear end in a top hat". That means using a public toilet and leaving the seat down while standing up and just hosing everything. So the next guy that has to take an emergency poo poo has to wipe the fucker down to use it.
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Sep 18, 2017 18:37
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Neutrino posted:There is no such thing as peeing like a woman, there is however "peeing like an rear end in a top hat". That means using a public toilet and leaving the seat down while standing up and just hosing everything. So the next guy that has to take an emergency poo poo has to wipe the fucker down to use it. If this is true, then to hear my wife tell it women pee like assholes all the time
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Sep 18, 2017 18:41
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Nocheez posted:What is the difference? More like "Nochill," god-drat
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Sep 18, 2017 18:41
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Nocheez posted:What is the difference? hahahaha this exact exchange has happened about 500 times in this thread. how the gently caress old are you people?? also Fred Flintstone please don't post part 2. that had to be the most banal poly relationship breakup I've ever read. please post more stories from vampire hunters and alien encounters
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Sep 18, 2017 19:24
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Son of Man posted:hahahaha this exact exchange has happened about 500 times in this thread. how the gently caress old are you people?? I'm almost 35, with my first child on the way. I actually really like being married and my wife is awesome, but who can say no to a "take my wife, please" joke?
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Sep 18, 2017 19:27
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[quote="“Nocheez”" post="“476520322”"] I’m almost 35, with my first child on the way. I actually really like being married and my wife is awesome, but who can say no to a “take my wife, please” joke? [/quote] Poly goon lol
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Sep 18, 2017 19:42
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Theophany posted:Poly goon lol 
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Sep 18, 2017 19:52
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Non anonymous fesh: The GF has been doing low carb for 3 weeks now. She started when I was on a business trip the first week and has been keeping it up since then. She wants to lose a bit of weight that way. So far so good. However, I do 95% of the cooking and god drat I need to get this off my chest: This poo poo is killing my will to cook and I love cooking. But 80% percent of all my recipes contain carbs and I can't use them any more. Even worse no carb makes cooking a boring chore. Everything takes longer. Zucchini pasta? 30 minutes longer. Cauliflower tortillas 45, cauliflower rice 45 minutes.... Gah....
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Sep 18, 2017 20:38
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Just eat steak and veggies my man, don't gently caress with making fake low carb versions of everything. Although I do suspect you might be a huge moron or a bad cook because making Zucchini/Squash pasta is actually faster than making regular pasta and also it's better and doesn't make you immediate fall asleep.
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Sep 18, 2017 20:42
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Il Federale posted:Uhhhh...how? If you mean how didn't I know, it's because when I was in my teens the only porn was the row of magazines behind the counter at the 7-11, and the skungy little back room at the video store. I know this might be hard for the twentysomethings here to believe, but there was NO COMPUTER PORN. (Unless you were a mega-nerd, in which case you could fire up a UNIX shell, Telnet to your college friend's account and FTP some crude GIFs. At least... uh... that's what I heard.) As for how girls pee, I just imagined a stream shooting out of the crack. Jeez, I was 15.
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Sep 18, 2017 20:47
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Just buy cauliflower rice
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Sep 18, 2017 20:49
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Gynovore posted:If you mean how didn't I know, it's because when I was in my teens the only porn was the row of magazines behind the counter at the 7-11, and the skungy little back room at the video store. I know this might be hard for the twentysomethings here to believe, but there was NO COMPUTER PORN. I remember sharing an ultra low-res Amiga porn floppy disk with friends, it was insane, you could barely even see what was supposed to be shown.
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Sep 18, 2017 21:02
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Hopper posted:Non anonymous fesh: Low Carb diets are forever diets, like herpes and taxes are forever. And you cant cheat on the low carb either, otherwise you lose all the progress. Tell her you will cook wheat pasta and brown rice and have her stop eating candy as a "cheat" that will fix things fast
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Sep 18, 2017 21:24
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[quote="“half coke half diet”" post="“476524094”"] Low Carb diets are forever diets, like herpes and taxes are forever. And you cant cheat on the low carb either, otherwise you lose all the progress. Tell her you will cook wheat pasta and brown rice and have her stop eating candy as a “cheat” that will fix things fast [/quote] Nah, as with any diet it’s only if you’re militant about it. I’ve been doing keto since January and lost 2.5 st (down to 11 now) and had a couple of holidays where I binged on pizzas, pastas, rice and burgers and didn’t gain anything. The human body is very adaptable.
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Sep 18, 2017 21:35
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Voltage posted:Although I do suspect you might be a huge moron or a bad cook because making Zucchini/Squash pasta is actually faster than making regular pasta and also it's better and doesn't make you immediate fall asleep. The huge moron is the guy who thinks I make fresh pasta during the week. Obviously I mean it adds that time when you can't just use store bought pasta or tortillas or regular rice. That's the annoying part you can't use any of those things and more and have to go through hoops to replace it. At 7pm after work that is not a nice thing.
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Sep 18, 2017 22:48
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Do your grocery stores not sell premade vegetable noodles? I'm guessing you're spiralizing it yourself every time and that's what's taking the time? It should cook faster than regular pasta.
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Sep 18, 2017 22:58
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i like nice words
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Yeah i use the spiralizer - its pretty quick and i just steam it, way quicker than boiling a full pot of water and cooking the pasta.
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Sep 18, 2017 23:30
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Anne Whateley posted:Do your grocery stores not sell premade vegetable noodles? I'm guessing you're spiralizing it yourself every time and that's what's taking the time? It should cook faster than regular pasta. I don't think so. Here in Germany you get overpriced lactose free and gluten free stuff out the wazoo because it is hip to eat "healthy" (I recognize the medical problems but this is being peddled to non-affected misinformed housewives to make a profit) and you can get vegan chicken, vegan salami and other stuff, but I haven't seen vegetable pasta ever. And I did look for it.
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Sep 19, 2017 07:31
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Low carb diet is retarded Tell your clown wife that you can lose weight on carbs easily. Calories is what you should be measuring You drat buffoons you simpletons You're just making it a lot harder on yourselves for no reason unbelievable you FOOLS
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Sep 19, 2017 07:49
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Zzulu posted:Low carb diet is retarded https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv6J5jxi84o
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Sep 19, 2017 08:09
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That video has nothing to do with what I said Count your calories mates, it's how actually fit people do it. Even if your snack bar actually has 98 calories instead of the 100 on the label, it doesn't matter, it doesn't have to be 100% precise hope this hleps
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Sep 19, 2017 09:33
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Zzulu posted:That video has nothing to do with what I said YEah, that video is the same arguments you get from someone who gets weightloss advice and doesn't want to commit to it so they just say "that won't work". Everything in the video doesn't actually matter. Who cares if it's difficult to measure your exact calorie intake and burning? The exact number doesn't matter. Like if you're aiming to cut 500 calories a day from your regular diet, even if you're off on every estimate by 25% or even more, you'll still probably lose weight. If you don't, adjust and eat a little less or exercise more. There's no such thing as a no-effort, no-adjustment weight-loss plan. Counting calories is the only reliable thing you can do. The type of food you get the calories you eat matters too, but it's secondary. If you eat 4000 calories a day of kale or whatever you'll gain weight too.
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Sep 19, 2017 09:42
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Reducing carbohydrate intake can be helpful in weight loss as it forces you to get your calories from proteins, which are digested in the stomach and therefore make you feel sated for longer. It's anecdotal, but when I see people who struggle with their weight there is very often a pattern of eating garbage carbohydrates (crisps, biscuits, confectionery) and moaning about always being hungry so they can't limit their calorie intake. Low carb doesn't have to be Atkins or Keto (and the latter one is a bit culty). There are lots of good carbohydrates, but most Western diets are filled up with the poo poo ones that are basically sugars.
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Sep 19, 2017 09:54
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bread nightmares
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Sep 19, 2017 09:55
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The Breadening
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Sep 19, 2017 10:05
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