NBA Offseason G/V: Let Me Hear You Post It

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What is going to be your favorite offseason storyline? This poll is closed.
The Big3 Tourney	67	22.41%
Will Lakers draft Ball	40	13.38%
Where will the Pauls go	54	18.06%
Will LeBron jump ship to the Spurs or ??	41	13.71%
Will every team in the league just pivot towards tanking	97	32.44%
Total:	210 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

CRISPYBABY: Dec 15, 2007; by Reene

Niwrad posted:

Kareem was a collasal rear end in a top hat for most of his career.

Most of his life*.

Kareem is smart but is kinda autistic and has no idea how to deal with people I think. I always thought this was a good article about Kareem. It's pretty critical in some places but paints an interesting overall picture.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/09/20/magazine/what-the-world-got-wrong-about-kareem-abdul-jabbar.html?mcubz=0

quote:

By 10 a.m., as Abdul-Jabbar moved briskly among the exhibits, the asphalt walkways of the zoo had started to fill up with schoolchildren walking hand in hand in neon T-shirts. The kids stared at the tallest man they had ever seen, and one of their chaperones turned to a colleague and whispered, ��That�s Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.�� Abdul-Jabbar strode on, determined to ignore them.

We saw tigers and silverback gorillas, as well as baby goats at the petting zoo. Abdul-Jabbar, looking impassively at the animals, would occasionally recite a fact about their mating habits or natural habitat. ��Sea lions and wolves share a common ancestor,�� he said dryly. He struck me as a man whose preferred mode of communication is a stack of random, verifiable statements.

In the zoo�s play area, Abdul-Jabbar, at Morales�s urging, lay down on a giant spider web made of ropes for one of dozens of photo ops for his Facebook page. ��Look scared!�� Morales ordered while pointing her iPad�s camera at Abdul-Jabbar.

��But I�m not scared,�� Abdul-Jabbar said. After some more coaxing from Morales, he opened his mouth, held his hands up by his face and gave a halfhearted look of faux terror.

As we approached the otter exhibit, a man with his young son in tow looked up at Abdul-Jabbar and said, ��Hey, that�s one of the greatest basketball players of all time!�� The father extended his hand toward Abdul-Jabbar and said, ��Wow, man. ... Kareem.��

Abdul-Jabbar dropped into a hunch and stared miserably off into the space above the man�s head. After it became clear that the man and his child were not going to step aside, Abdul-Jabbar offered up a curt nod, turned and stalked off. Morales jogged up to the child and handed him a playing card autographed by Abdul-Jabbar. Gazing after his bowed, retreating figure, the father reached down, grabbed his confused son by the shoulders and slowly walked him toward the next exhibit.

....

This is the Abdul-Jabbar paradox: He�s a man who cares enough about his legacy to write two memoirs and eight other books, but he refuses to engage in the usual smoothing, sanding and editing that is required of a public persona. He instead asks you to accept his version of his truth, even if the truth is that at 68, he sometimes has a hard time being civil to children and still refuses to shake the hand of a reporter.

CRISPYBABY fucked around with this message at 06:51 on Sep 20, 2017

# ? Sep 20, 2017 06:48

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 08:29

Spacebump: Dec 24, 2003; Dallas Mavericks: Generations

WhyteRyce posted:

How does KD manage to not fall completely apparently when a women says no to farting in his face

By making a secret twitter account and talking poo poo about her on twitter.

The Glumslinger posted:

Shaq would have try hard as gently caress, but we would have all pretended we loved it

Redgrendel2001 posted:

Shaq would, and did iirc, use any form of social media to shill for any product.

Spacebump fucked around with this message at 06:59 on Sep 20, 2017

# ? Sep 20, 2017 06:51

Ramadu: Aug 25, 2004; 2015 NFL MVP

actually, those are good and cool and I am glad they exist

# ? Sep 20, 2017 09:01

Strawberry Panda: Nov 4, 2007; Breakfast Defecting, Slow Dick Touching, Root Beer Barreling SwagVP

That ghost one is hilarious.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 09:27

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Shaq never followed me but his social media manager when he was in Phoenix did so that's the next best thing.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 10:50

Time: Aug 1, 2011; It Was All A Dream

Shaq ruined TNT and those are awful

# ? Sep 20, 2017 13:59

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

Time posted:

Shaq ruined TNT and those are awful

# ? Sep 20, 2017 14:08

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

Rick posted:

Shaq never followed me but his social media manager when he was in Phoenix did so that's the next best thing.

Did he try to frame you for kiddie porn?

# ? Sep 20, 2017 14:17

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

Shaq did ruin TNT

That is true

# ? Sep 20, 2017 14:18

Bigass Moth: Mar 6, 2004; I joined the #RXT REVOLUTION.

he knows...

Tweets from the early days of twitter are the best, especially pro athletes who were in middle school then and never deleted their old stuff.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 14:23

Time: Aug 1, 2011; It Was All A Dream

Otoh Shaq is the same amount of funny as Dwight Howard

# ? Sep 20, 2017 14:26

morestuff: Aug 2, 2008; You can't stop what's coming

Bigass Moth posted:

Tweets from the early days of twitter are the best, especially pro athletes who were in middle school then and never deleted their old stuff.

Love too kiss tittittties

# ? Sep 20, 2017 14:30

Rick: Feb 23, 2004; When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.

Redgrendel2001 posted:

Did he try to frame you for kiddie porn?

This was before that guy.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 14:52

Brolander: Oct 20, 2008; i am but a vessel

Time posted:

Shaq ruined TNT and those are awful

shaq stopped being cool the minute he left orlando

# ? Sep 20, 2017 16:30

Stealth Tiger: Nov 14, 2009

Kareem is so bizarre in that for someone growing up in the heart of the Harlem renaissance, playing on the best college team under the best coach ever, being an extremely public figure for Islam and the civil rights movement, then being a millionaire celebrity in LA during the 80s, and possibly being the best player in his sport ever, he is an absolutely awful interview.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:00

Hashtag Banterzone: Dec 8, 2005; Lifetime Winner of the willkill4food Honorary Bad Posting Award in PWM

Shaq yelling "can you dig it?" was pretty funny. So was his dancing at that all star game. I also liked it when Nate Rob dunked on him when they were practicing.

Tho Shaq also did lots of unfunny stuff, such as working with Stern to fix the playoff series against the Kings and Blazers

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:05

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

Shaq doing that jabberwocky dance or whatever it's called was the low point of his basketball persona.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:12

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/2734119-kevin-durant-admits-to-regretting-signing-with-warriors-at-first-due-to-backlash.amp.html

KD nooooooo stop talking

Where are your PR people.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:17

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

Stealth Tiger posted:

Kareem is so bizarre in that for someone growing up in the heart of the Harlem renaissance, playing on the best college team under the best coach ever, being an extremely public figure for Islam and the civil rights movement, then being a millionaire celebrity in LA during the 80s, and possibly being the best player in his sport ever, he is an absolutely awful interview.

Kareem was just ultra thin-skinned about his body, his persona in general, everything. He was really miscast as a contender for the BB GOAT, it was a vehicle for him. Plus, I think his dad was really hard on him. And yeah, Aspergers. He's one of the most intelligent dudes to come through the league though, imo.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:18

Redgrendel2001: Sep 1, 2006; you literally think a person saying their NBA team of choice being better than the fucking 76ers is a 'schtick'

a literal thing you think.

https://twitter.com/SheaSerrano/status/910527445870174208

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:18

leftist heap: Feb 28, 2013; Fun Shoe

Dexo posted:

https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/2734119-kevin-durant-admits-to-regretting-signing-with-warriors-at-first-due-to-backlash.amp.html

KD nooooooo stop talking

Where are your PR people.

quote:

Speaking at a TechCrunch panel in San Francisco on Tuesday, Durant apologized and called his actions "idiotic."

lmfao of course it's at TechCrunch. perfect. KD seems like he's really struggling with the cognitive dissonance between who he pretends to be and who he is.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:37

Paul Zuvella: Dec 7, 2011

Kevin Durant is corny and sucks and the worst

# ? Sep 20, 2017 17:58

Mr. Mambold: Feb 13, 2011; Aha. Nice post.

Paul Zuvella posted:

Kevin Durant is corny and sucks and the worst

Yeah, but how do you feel about me, KD as a hesi jimbo hiphop hooper

# ? Sep 20, 2017 18:00

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Extremely my poo poo https://twitter.com/chernykh/status/909432476128415745

# ? Sep 20, 2017 18:13

EvanTH: Apr 24, 2004; i like to express my inner pain by being really boring on the phone
or just when i'm kickin it
that's me though
i'm kind of oddddddd

thx Time for the insider posting. The "jock tax" exists, meanwhile the estate tax is always on the brink of disappearing and owners get public financing for their stadiums, kinda lets everyone know which groups are making the rules.

Jack's Flow posted:

Slovenia - Latvia, the best game of Eurobasket 2017, is up on Youtube now:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-DKtLy9S1M

Doncic is a beast.

ahh I love basketball. Porzingis is picking up Melo's jabstepjabstepjabstep midrange form hahaha :sigh:

sucks that he's learning Ball from the guy who could only take pictures of the banana boat crew

# ? Sep 20, 2017 18:32

the_american_dream: Apr 12, 2008; GAHDAMN

morestuff posted:

Love too kiss tittittties

Same

# ? Sep 20, 2017 18:56

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.

https://www.blogabull.com/platform/amp/2017/9/20/16335654/chicago-bulls-doug-collins-hire-advisor-rebuild-2018

Ricky posted:

What John Paxson and Gar Forman really need is someone to challenge them. The lack of accountability at the top of the franchise has made the Bulls fat and lazy, a team that will look everywhere for a scapegoat except for the mirror. It’s that thinking that led this franchise to believe Jimmy Butler was the problem instead of the solution. It’s the reason they’re still bringing up Rose’s injuries up five years later as if that caused them to whiff on every draft pick since 2011 or get conned into giving Dwyane Wade a contract no one else would offer.

The real problem with the Bulls is that they don’t see a problem. This is what happens when you still lead the league in attendance last year even though everyone around the team hated each other. This is what happens when the truth is obscured by profits.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 18:59

RaySmuckles: Oct 14, 2009; Grimey Drawer

lmao at kevin durant

i'm ready for basketball to start

# ? Sep 20, 2017 19:49

verbal enema: May 23, 2009; onlymarfans.com

It has been exactly one million years since the last basketball game was played

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:00

Boosh!: Apr 12, 2002; Oven Wrangler

Can't wait for the season!

https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/910577895722049537

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:02

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

Ughh, so now we need to get rid of TWO Melo's?!?

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:04

Dejan Bimble: Mar 24, 2008; we're all black friends; Plaster Town Cop

Boosh! posted:

Can't wait for the season!

https://twitter.com/BleacherReport/status/910577895722049537

That's taken out of context. The reporters were asking him about how he liked New York and about players, and he said that he's known Carmelo since he was a kid, and stole Carmelo's game but plays it on the opposite side of the floor.

Dwight Howard is a really bad player

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:04

Punkin Spunkin: Jan 1, 2010

Dexo posted:

https://syndication.bleacherreport.com/amp/2734119-kevin-durant-admits-to-regretting-signing-with-warriors-at-first-due-to-backlash.amp.html

KD nooooooo stop talking

Where are your PR people.

I think if he keeps owning himself he might just come out the other end safe. it's like that scene in ace ventura when nature calls. Can't wait to see dude on the next season of Silicon Valley being awkward.

quote:

Durant disclosed...that hearing so many people say "f--k you" over social media took an emotional toll on him.

guys you know what to do........ be nice.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:08

Kibner: Oct 21, 2008; Acguy Supremacy

Apparently, the Pels rank #1 in STH satisfaction among all NBA teams, according to the NBA: http://www.theadvocate.com/new_orleans/sports/pelicans/article_ad086212-9d9f-11e7-8881-9f533cc1d569.html

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:09

Boosh!: Apr 12, 2002; Oven Wrangler

RCarr posted:

Ughh, so now we need to get rid of TWO Melo's?!?

Isola thinks the Rockets deal will get done by Monday. No sources of course.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:15

RCarr: Dec 24, 2007

Boosh! posted:

Isola thinks the Rockets deal will get done by Monday. No sources of course.

I think I've given up being excited at this point. But maybe that's all I needed to do in the first place!

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:16

Kibner: Oct 21, 2008; Acguy Supremacy

Huh, this poo poo is more surprising to me:

https://twitter.com/WillGuillory/status/910519063012458496

The Pels rank top 10 in every category the NBA surveys.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:25

euphronius: Feb 18, 2009

https://twitter.com/derekbodnernba/status/910555003324166145

The fact they they are talking seems like good news

# ? Sep 20, 2017 20:42

chunkles: Aug 14, 2005; i am completely immersed in darkness
as i turn my body away from the sun

Metapod posted:

Extremely my poo poo https://twitter.com/chernykh/status/909432476128415745

to me the most interesting thing about this video is that ricky rubio has finally turned 18 years old

Boosh! posted:

Isola thinks the Rockets deal will get done by Monday. No sources of course.

now that ESPN thinks Melo is bad i'm coming around to the trade

or just getting an early start on laying down the foundation of denial, maybe.

# ? Sep 20, 2017 21:04

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 08:29

Dejan Bimble: Mar 24, 2008; we're all black friends; Plaster Town Cop

I haven't seen much discussion of what a Houston NyNik trade looks like.

The Knicks could trade Courtney Lee and Carmelo for Eric Gordon, Ryno, and Shawn Long.
They Could trade Melo for Ryno and 3 of Houstons 1.3m guys.

Basically any trade has to be Ryno and some other stuff, because they don't have many legal to trade contracts on the roster at this moment. There's roughly .01% chance that Ariza is traded, because he unlocks their preferred style of play, and lets Melo be a nominal 3, which is important to him. When's the free agency trade thaw, like 3 months into the season?

# ? Sep 20, 2017 21:06

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