Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Let's Play! > Schroedinger's Quantum Bullshit: The Give Yourself Goosebumps Megathread

«‹›145 »

Princey: Mar 22, 2013

Bungle in the jungle

# ? Sep 22, 2017 01:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 10, 2024 10:40

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Tied, next vote gets it.

# ? Sep 22, 2017 04:13

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Let's be metal

# ? Sep 22, 2017 04:28

Ratatozsk: Mar 6, 2007; Had we turned left instead, we may have encountered something like this...

# ? Sep 22, 2017 17:46

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You head for the metal pile as fast as you can run.

You hear the lizard coming after you. You race ahead, faster than you've ever run before.

The lizard's sticky tongue darts out of its mouth. It touches the back of your shirt. You break away. You reach the rusty metal. Now you realize it's a pile of wrecked cars.

You climb onto the crushed metal door of one of the cars. The lizard starts up after you. You climb through the window and leap onto the dashboard.

You glance at the window. The lizard glances back at you.

Where can you hide?

Then you spot the open glove compartment. Perfect! You crawl in and slam the door behind you.

No way the lizard can get in. You glance around. The glove compartment is full of old, torn maps. There's a rusty flashlight, a bunch of keys, and a half-eaten roll of mint candies. To you, they're all the size of furniture.

You lean against a map and relax. But then you hear a deafening roar. The car starts to tilt. Then it begins to shake.

quote:

The car shakes even harder. Is this an earthquake?

You open the glove compartment part way. The lizard is gone. But - oh, no!

You glance up through the car window. The car is caught in a gigantic machine. The machine is pushing the car toward the huge steel jaws of a car crusher!

You've got to get out of here!

You jump out of the glove compartment. You race across the seat. If you can just make it back out the window... But the vibrations throw you to the floor.

You scramble up again. Maybe there's a hole in the floor. Or maybe you can get the car door open! You hurl yourself against the car door. It doesn't budge.

The sound of the car crusher is deafening. With a jolt, you are thrown off your feet again. As you peer up from the floor, you see that the roof of the car is coming closer.

And closer.

And closer.

In another few seconds, the car crusher will mash the car - and you - into a metal pancake.

Alas, for you, this adventure has come to a SMASHING

END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Captured by the government for study.
Got stuck cleaning up animal poop at the circus.
Suffocated to death inside a refrigerator.
Forcibly adopted by a motherly mouse.
Got stuck in a mouse hole and wound up being mauled.
Drowned in the sewers.
Crushed to death in a car compactor.

Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
It Went Thadda-Way: Randomly returned to normal size just in time to escape the military.

Our options posted:

Avoid Barney at the baseball game.

Run from the police.

Don't join the circus.

Hide outside.

Take the number 5 bus.

Steer toward the waterfall.

Run for the jungle.

# ? Sep 22, 2017 19:57

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Time to become a Jungler

# ? Sep 22, 2017 20:15

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Wow, this book is kinda dark, huh?

Did someone do 'Run through the Jungle' yet

# ? Sep 22, 2017 20:54

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle the lion sleeps tonight.

# ? Sep 22, 2017 21:41

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You head for the jungle of weeds. The lizard runs after you.

It's hard to move quickly through the thick, tall grass, but you're desperate. You pass piles of garbage, broken appliances, black, rotting mounds of ooze. You detour around slimy pools bubbling with the scent of rotting food.

Then your feet slip out from under you on a pile of slick, yellow mold. You tumble down a slope, unable to break your fall. You stop rolling at the bottom of the hill. You glance up to find the lizard staring down at you. It opens its mouth wide. Its mouth is so big you know it could swallow you in one bite.

Then it flicks its tongue out, straight toward you.

You close your eyes.

Are you about to be lizard lunch?

quote:

You wait in terror for the lizard's tongue to scoop you up.

But nothing happens. After a moment, you cautiously open your eyes. A few inches away, the lizard is calmly munching on what remains of a grasshopper.

It wasn't after you after all! You glance around at this new part of the dump. Just beyond the lizard, leaning against a large boulder, is ac big white refrigerator with no door. It looks just like the one your aunt had in the basement!

You race over to the refrigerator. Is this the right one? Is the purple-peanut-butter jar still inside?

You're much too little to see what's on the shelves. You'll have to climb in to find out. But how?

You search through the garbage surrounding you and find an old piece of kite string. To you, the string is as thick as rope. It gives you an idea. You discover a rusty safety pin. You tie the string to the safety pin.

Then you twirl the pin over your head. Just like the rock climbers use, you think. When the pin is spinning really fast, you throw it up toward the refrigerator shelves.

Did it catch?

quote:

The safety pin clatters to the ground.

You missed.

Well, you'll just have to try again.

You plant your feet, twirl the rope over your head, focus on the shelf and...

This time it works! The pin catches on the top shelf. With all your strength, you pull yourself hand over hand up the string.

By the time you're halfway up, your arm muscles are trembling. A breeze causes the string to swing out and away from the refrigerator. You swing back and forth. Back and forth. You hold onto the string tightly till the breeze dies down. Then you continue climbing.

At last you reach the top shelf. You let go of your rope-string and gaze around. Oh, no!

The jar is gone! All that's left is the chocolate-cake box.

Now what do you do? This was your last chance.

quote:

You get an idea. An excellent idea. In Alice in Wonderland, some foods Alice ate made her grow big, other foods made her small. Could the peanut butter and the chocolate cake work the same way? Maybe that's why they were together in the refrigerator in the first place!

Besides, you've got nothing to lose.

You look inside the box. It's empty, except for one chocolate crumb and a tiny smear of icing.

You're not very big. Maybe it will be enough.

But which will you eat? The crumb or the icing?

Try the crumb on PAGE 97.

Or taste the icing on PAGE 107.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Captured by the government for study.
Got stuck cleaning up animal poop at the circus.
Suffocated to death inside a refrigerator.
Forcibly adopted by a motherly mouse.
Got stuck in a mouse hole and wound up being mauled.
Drowned in the sewers.
Crushed to death in a car compactor.

Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
It Went Thadda-Way: Randomly returned to normal size just in time to escape the military.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 05:03

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

The crumb I guess? I don't see why we can't eat both.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 05:26

Blockhouse: Sep 7, 2014; You Win!

Okay so gently caress this book for both clearly spelling out the Alice in Wonderland reference that forms its entire basis and also for the cake suddenly being gone in another GYG quantum gently caress you twist

Eat that crumb

# ? Sep 23, 2017 05:43

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Eat the icing since I'm pretty sure that's the wrong answer

# ? Sep 23, 2017 08:47

BioEnchanted: Aug 9, 2011; He plays for the dreamers that forgot how to dream, and the lovers that forgot how to love.

I was half expecting the safetypin grappling hook to have a choice attached, if it missed it skewered you and got you an ending. I'd say eat the icing, maybe one of the endings is us dying of diabetic shock from a sugar overload.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 13:55

Captainicus: Feb 22, 2013

Let us eat the icing and somehow that will kill us so we can't also eat the crumbs?

# ? Sep 23, 2017 14:27

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You bend down and lick up the smear of icing.

Then you wait.

At first nothing happens.

Then your arms start to ache and your mouth feels strange. Something is happening to you! You watch as the refrigerator appears to grow smaller.

You're growing! It's working!

You hop out of the refrigerator. As you do, the lizard hops in the refrigerator. It climbs up to the cake box and gobbles up the crumb of cake.

You turn to head back for your uncle's house.

Then you hear a CRASH behind you. You glance back to see that the lizard completely fills the refrigerator. The crumb made it grow, too!

quote:

The lizard slithers out of the refrigerator. It's already as big as a Great Dane. It starts to follow you.

Terrified, you start to run. But it steps in front of you.

"Back!" you tell it. "Get back!"

You search frantically for something to use as a weapon. Just as you reach out to grab a rusty car door, the lizard stretches its head toward you. Its long tongue darts out.

But instead of trying to chomp you, it licks your hand. It wags its long, skinny tail. It isn't going to eat you. It likes you!

The lizard follows you all the way home. It's very friendly. You discover it really likes to play "fetch." You can't help noticing, though, that every time it comes back with the stick you've thrown, it has grown a little bigger.

By the time you reach your aunt and uncle's house, the lizard is the size of an elephant.

"Hey, wimp!" Barney calls from the porch. "Where have you been?" Suddenly, his eyes widen and his mouth drops open. He's just noticed your new pet dinosaur.

The lizard hisses at your cousin. You pat its scaly back. "Easy, boy," you say soothingly.

"Wha-what's that?" Barney stammers.

You smile at him sweetly. "Barney, meet my new bodyguard."

THE END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Captured by the government for study.
Got stuck cleaning up animal poop at the circus.
Suffocated to death inside a refrigerator.
Forcibly adopted by a motherly mouse.
Got stuck in a mouse hole and wound up being mauled.
Drowned in the sewers.
Crushed to death in a car compactor.

Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
It Went Thadda-Way: Randomly returned to normal size just in time to escape the military.
Walk the Dinosaur: Returned to normal size with a very large new pet as a bonus.

Our options posted:

Avoid Barney at the baseball game.

Run from the police.

Don't join the circus.

Hide outside.

Take the number 5 bus.

Steer toward the waterfall.

Eat the crumb.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 15:53

Snake Maze

Jul 13, 2016

3.85 Billion years ago

Having seen the explosion on the moon, the Devil comes to Venus

Getting a pet ~~giant lizard~~ dinosaur isn't a goal ending? What more could a kid ask for?

Take the other bus.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 16:02

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

Time to change buses

# ? Sep 23, 2017 16:42

ashnjack: Jun 8, 2010; FUCK FLOWERS. JUST...FUCK 'EM.

I don't care what you say, this is the true ending.

Anyways, Eat the ~~eggs Smashmouth~~ crumbs.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 16:53

risky business: Oct 9, 2012; Barns?

Get that crumb in your face.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 17:57

Octatonic: Sep 7, 2010

ashnjack posted:

I don't care what you say, this is the true ending.

Anyways, Eat the ~~eggs Smashmouth~~ crumbs.

This

# ? Sep 23, 2017 18:06

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

I'm worried eating the crumb might be the other good ending before we see the rest of the bad ones. Other bus

# ? Sep 23, 2017 18:27

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

We should have an optional goal ending for getting all the bad endings in a single book. Other bus.

# ? Sep 23, 2017 19:44

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

Snake Maze posted:

Getting a pet ~~giant lizard~~ dinosaur isn't a goal ending? What more could a kid ask for?

I know, but the other ending is very similar, and I had to pick one to be the goal ending and one to give an achievement for. I figured the dinosaur was more achievement-worthy.

quote:

You run down the street to the left. The number 5 bus pulls up just as you arrive at the corner.

By now you're so small that you have to stand on tiptoe to drop your coins into the box. And when you arrive at the university, you can't reach the rope to signal for a stop. Luckily, some other people are getting out, too. You slip off the bus behind them.

The university is huge. Dozens of big red-brick buildings surround a grassy area. People hurry along the pathways.

How will you find your aunt?

A sign points to the main administration building. Maybe that's where you can find out where Aunt Fiona is. You head that way. Then those pink dots appear again. Thousands of dots.

When your fingers and toes stop tingling, you discover that you are now the same height as the dandelions on the lawn!

At the rate you're shrinking, you might disappear before you make it to the main building.

Should you run into the physics building right in front of you? Maybe one of the scientists will be able to help you.

Or should you keep going to the main building to find your aunt?

If you dash into the physics building, zoom over to PAGE 39.

If you keep looking for your aunt, turn to PAGE 126.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Captured by the government for study.
Got stuck cleaning up animal poop at the circus.
Suffocated to death inside a refrigerator.
Forcibly adopted by a motherly mouse.
Got stuck in a mouse hole and wound up being mauled.
Drowned in the sewers.
Crushed to death in a car compactor.

Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
It Went Thadda-Way: Randomly returned to normal size just in time to escape the military.
Walk the Dinosaur: Returned to normal size with a very large new pet as a bonus.

# ? Sep 24, 2017 03:09

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

Physics building.

# ? Sep 24, 2017 05:06

WrightOfWay: Jul 24, 2010

Let's get physical.

# ? Sep 24, 2017 07:19

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You need help and you need it now!

You dash to the physics building. You scramble up the single step just as someone opens the door. Quickly you scamper inside. You stop a moment to catch your breath. Being tiny sure is tiring!

You scurry along a long hallway searching for someone who can help you. Men and women come and go all around you. But they don't look down at their feet, so they don't see you.

"Help!" you cry. "Can someone help me?"

A woman hears you and glances down. "AAAK!" she cries. "A mouse!"

"Where?" you squeak, glancing around. And then you realize that she means *you.* You're so little she thinks you're a mouse!

"Kill it!" the woman shouts. "Someone find the janitor!"

You'd better get out of the hall - quick! Two doors are standing open. The one at the far end of the hall is labeled DR. ABBOTT'S LAB. Can you make it there before the janitor comes? Maybe you'd better enter the unlabeled door right next to where you're standing.

Duck through the door that's closest on PAGE 8.

Or try for Dr. Abbott's lab on PAGE 109.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Captured by the government for study.
Got stuck cleaning up animal poop at the circus.
Suffocated to death inside a refrigerator.
Forcibly adopted by a motherly mouse.
Got stuck in a mouse hole and wound up being mauled.
Drowned in the sewers.
Crushed to death in a car compactor.

Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
It Went Thadda-Way: Randomly returned to normal size just in time to escape the military.
Walk the Dinosaur: Returned to normal size with a very large new pet as a bonus.

# ? Sep 24, 2017 13:01

Blockhouse: Sep 7, 2014; You Win!

HEY ABBOT

# ? Sep 24, 2017 13:37

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

We know that the labeled door is Dr. Abbott's lab, but the unlabeled door could be anything! It could even be Dr. Abbott's lab! UNLABELED DOOR

# ? Sep 24, 2017 23:11

serefin99: Apr 15, 2016; Mikoooon~
Your lovely shrine maiden fox wife, Tamamo no Mae, is here to help!

CaptainCaveman posted:

We know that the labeled door is Dr. Abbott's lab, but the unlabeled door could be anything! It could even be Dr. Abbott's lab! UNLABELED DOOR

This is some truly flawless logic. Unlabeled door.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 00:11

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

CaptainCaveman posted:

We know that the labeled door is Dr. Abbott's lab, but the unlabeled door could be anything! It could even be Dr. Abbott's lab! UNLABELED DOOR

Yeah, gotta go with this.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 01:21

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You scurry into the nearby room.

It's a broom closet filled with cleaning supplies. Mops and brooms hang on the wall. A pail that seems as big as a car sits on a shelf above your head.

You hear the janitor's heavy footsteps approaching.

"In there!" the woman screams. "I saw it go in there!"

"Don't worry," the janitor's voice booms. "I'll take care of it." He enters the closet.

You jump up and down, waving your arms. "I'm a kid," you shout as loud as you can.

The fat janitor bends down and squints at you. "Hey!" he exclaims. "You're not a mouse!"

You let out a huge sigh of relief. Finally! Someone who can help you!

The janitor picks you up carefully by the collar and brings you close to his face. "I don't believe my eyes!" he sputters. "You're a - ! You're a - "

You watch the janitor's huge eyes roll up into his head. Seconds before he faints, he drops you to the ground. Too bad you don't have enough time to scramble out of the way.

SPLAT!

You've come to a very

FLAT END

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Captured by the government for study.
Got stuck cleaning up animal poop at the circus.
Suffocated to death inside a refrigerator.
Forcibly adopted by a motherly mouse.
Got stuck in a mouse hole and wound up being mauled.
Drowned in the sewers.
Crushed to death in a car compactor.
Flattened under a fainting janitor.

Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
It Went Thadda-Way: Randomly returned to normal size just in time to escape the military.
Walk the Dinosaur: Returned to normal size with a very large new pet as a bonus.

Our options posted:

Avoid Barney at the baseball game.

Run from the police.

Don't join the circus.

Hide outside.

Steer toward the waterfall.

Eat the crumb.

Head for the main building.

Enter Dr. Abbott's lab.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 03:21

Leraika: Jun 14, 2015; Luckily, I *did* save your old avatar. Fucked around and found out indeed.

gently caress the circus

# ? Sep 25, 2017 03:29

CaptainCaveman: Apr 16, 2005; Always searching for North.

Yeah, let's don't join the circus.

# ? Sep 25, 2017 03:40

Rebonack7: Aug 27, 2015

quote:

You can't join the circus! You have to find a way to make yourself smaller. "Thanks for your offer," you tell the clown. "But I'm not usually this big." You explain your problem.

"I understand," the clown tells you. "I appreciate your honesty. In return, I may be able to help you. One of our workers is a fortune-teller who has strange powers. She may be able to return you to your normal size.

After the show, the clown introduces you to a very small white-haired woman in a long pink robe. Her face is so wrinkled she appears to be hundreds of years old.

"I predict," she begins in a strange accent, "you will make lots of money and live a long, happy life."

"No, no," the clown says. "We don't need a fortune told. This person needs help!"

"That's different," she says. "My fortunes are all fake." You notice her accent has now disappeared.

Your heart sinks. You thought she was going to be someone with real powers.

"But my powers are very real," she says, as if she had read your mind. "But I don't use them on fortunes. Everyone wants the same thing. Fame, money, success..." She sighs. "Now, tell me - what's your problem?"

quote:

You scoop her up in your palm and hold her close to your face while you explain what happened to you.

"I've seen cases like this before," she says when you finish. "I think I can help." She reaches into her robes and pulls out a small, torn brown bag.

"Take this herbal mixture," she instructs. "But take only a tiny part of it. The results can be very unpredictable."

You take the small bag from her hand and set her on the ground. "Thanks," you say. You're about to ask her more when she speaks again.

"Do as I say," she tells you. "Now, no more questions. It's time for my nap."

You blink once and she's gone. You almost think you imagined her. But the tiny brown bag sits in your hand.

You open it. A strong, spicy scent immediately fills the air. You shake the contents out in your hand. A small pinch of brown-and-green powder falls onto your palm. There's maybe a teaspoon altogether.

The fortune teller told you to take a tiny amount of the mixture. But this is a tiny amount. And you're so big, you don't see how it can possibly help you.

Should you eat just part of the mixture? Turn to PAGE 79.

Or maybe you ought to take the whole thing - try PAGE 125.

Character Sheet posted:

Inventory
Empty

Goal Endings: 1/2

Bad Endings
Returned to normal size just in time to get beaten up by Barney.
Returned to normal size while surrounded by tigers.
Drank a potion that turned us into a life-size gingerbread cookie.
Captured by the government for study.
Got stuck cleaning up animal poop at the circus.
Suffocated to death inside a refrigerator.
Forcibly adopted by a motherly mouse.
Got stuck in a mouse hole and wound up being mauled.
Drowned in the sewers.
Crushed to death in a car compactor.
Flattened under a fainting janitor.

Achievements
Fails from the Crypt: Encountered a total of 50 bad endings.
It Went Thadda-Way: Randomly returned to normal size just in time to escape the military.
Walk the Dinosaur: Returned to normal size with a very large new pet as a bonus.