Current Events September 2017: 6-foot-7 grandfather

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Current Events September 2017: 6-foot-7 grandfather

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Smiling Jack: Dec 2, 2001; I sucked a dick for bus fare and then I walked home.

Poppyseed Poundcake posted:

https://twitter.com/neiltyson/status/912299342559694848

missed the point so bad he couldn't find it with a step ladder and a radio telescope

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:00

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 16:41

Syrian Lannister: Aug 25, 2007; Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.; Sugartime Jones

Missed this earlier this morning.

From AP

quote:

U.S. Sen. John McCain says doctors have given him a "very poor prognosis" as he battles brain cancer.

McCain underwent surgery in July for a brain tumor that was later found to be a form of glioblastoma, the same type of cancer that took the life of his former Senate colleague
Edward M. Kennedy in 2009. McCain tells CBS' "60 Minutes" in an interview that aired Sunday night that he thinks about Kennedy a lot.
He says Kennedy continued to work despite the diagnosis and "never gave up because he loved the engagement."

McCain says he has "feelings sometimes of fear of what happens," but counters that with gratitude for having lived "had a great life."

He adds: "it's not that you're leaving, it's that you � that you stayed."

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:02

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Cool thing is that a while back they discovered the oldest papyrus to date, which happened to be a first hand account of how the stone in the great pyramid at giza was transported to the site. Well, after some years of groundwork, they've found corroborating evidence for that account, which apparently described the construction of a canal system that ran right up to the loving pyramid so they could float massive granite blocks all but the last few feet of a 500+ mile journey from the quarry.

No mention of how they got all that grain in there though.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:03

Terrifying Effigies: Oct 22, 2008; Problems look mighty small from 150 miles up.

Cassidy is...not coming across well

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:05

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

So was that the one in the pink or the one in the stink, bill

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:07

Defenestrategy: Oct 24, 2010

Terrifying Effigies posted:

Cassidy is...not coming across well

Dudes been doing the "my evil plan is coming to fruition" face+hand gestures all day.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:09

Zeris: Apr 15, 2003; Quality posting direct from my brain to your face holes.

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

It would be awesome if, with all the technology we have today, the moderators could do live fact checking and be like "you're full of poo poo."

We have the technology for that, but we lack the technology to provide moderators with the balls to go through with it

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:11

Terrifying Effigies: Oct 22, 2008; Problems look mighty small from 150 miles up.

Btw that was a woman explaining how Planned Parenthood helped diagnose her uterine cysts and help her have a child.

Cassidy's response - Well, PP is mostly in ~~minority~~ urban areas, and we want to take that money and send it to the rural people who hate baby murderers.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:11

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Yeah well maybe if the shitters weren't filling the docket with bullshit TRAP laws they'd build a few clinics in the sticks.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:14

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

Stultus Maximus posted:

Is there a term for someone who is a genius in one area and completely retarded in every other?

Doctor, in my experience

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:17

boop the snoot: Jun 3, 2016

I'm happy that so many people are saying gently caress Trump publicly but Kaep's whole point for protesting originally has been hijacked to the point that it isn't even relevant anymore I don't think.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:31

Grognan: Jan 23, 2007; by Fluffdaddy

Not gonna lie, after carpooling with a Lithuanian mother that worked at the amazon warehouse I was at. that raised her family through the fall of the Berlin wall describing how completely obtuse she found American healthcare insurance that was some perspective.

GPs and primary care were state sponsored free and if you had something seriously wrong with you, you had better have had the money to treat it though.

Getting good health insurance is almost like swearing an oath to your employer like a feudal lord in the US.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:36

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

Grognan posted:

Getting good health insurance is almost like swearing an oath to your employer like a feudal lord in the US.

that's the point :ssh:

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:39

Immanentized: Mar 17, 2009

Arven posted:

I've always speculated that our government is so bad at cyber war because that movie trope where a kid hacks the pentagon and gets hired by the government is the opposite of the truth- he gets thrown in federal prison and banned from ever touching a computer again. Meanwhile in Russia and China they actually do get scooped up to work for the government. Is there anything to that?

Effort post from hotel bar:

In a word, no.
Caveat: I'm private sector, so nothing I'm saying here is OPSEC or otherwise classified. Everything can be found in open source or amalgamated through articles on the topic. A good starting point is Countdown to Zero Day, by Kim Zetter*.
The Eastern European types have this really unique "code" or general belief that their work has a nobler thing. Basically the consensus was "If you leave it on the table, it is my prerogative to take it". The EE types are unique in that they REFUSE to work for, against, or around other EE organizations and entities. Like, it's some sort of superpowered detente where the organized crime types, and the state have the ability to track you down and kill you, while you have complete and total control in the digital world.

The US doesn't really encourage the kind of tinkering that the EE types do, our guys like to get the fundamentals down, then automate and rely on scripts and pre-built programs. EE is more like going into a network and going really low and slow with their work, meticulously cleaning up any trace behind them, and the traces of any other hackers they find in a network or platform. We have some of the best backdoor planning and vulnerability identifying people on the planet, but over time, we have become super reliant on slot-in solutions and prebuilt vulnerabilities. When I was doing my Penetration Testing job, there was zero standardized training, and the certifications they offer, CEH, CFIE, COMPTIA+ (Except OSCP, more later) are loving horseshit with limited applicability to the wide world of exploits and vulnerability discovery. I was able to make up for my relatively weak network skills by using Kali and a ton of built in utilities, and I was extremely successful in social engineering work- but if you asked me to do this stuff from scratch I'd be lost. That's where the EE guys and OSCP people come in.

For the unaware, the Offensive Security Certified Professional (OSCP) is a hands-on program that culminates in the candidate being effectively locked in a lab over the course of a 2 day period and expected to play "capture the flag" and accomplish set objectives within the time limit. The guys who have this are extremely good at what they do, and compromise an extremely rare skillset within the global technology industry. You don't really "think about getting it". You either have the natural born talent, or you don't. Even then, there is usually a year's worth of studying and prep work involved.

EE hackers don't have a lot of these support systems, and many grow up tinkering with school networks, and operating on really dinosaur systems. That's one of their biggest wins in this space, they are entirely comfortable spending 3 years just looking at a network or environment, and making tiny manipulations as they go along. Case study from today had completely owned a major corporate network for an 11 year period without detection. When they busted him for something entirely different, they discovered this own, reported it to the victim and completely blew their minds. They're not superhuman, or even particularly special, they just have patience and a willingness to do a ton of manual work to accomplish small goals.

The Russian State Hackersare the same as the freelancers (that 200-300 number I mentioned in my mega update post) that caught a case of the patriotism, or they hosed up and broke the code, went after the state, and broke a deal so they can keep their legs.
China brute forces their dudes, but they do so based on a training regime that has some awesome success rates, and iron-clad operational procedures.
North Korea is really neat in that they roll their own malware and are distributing it as a platform on the open market.
Iran/Syria/Turkey are scriptkiddies who use really obvious vulnerabilities to hijack admin accounts and do crazy amounts of port scanning for the smallest win.

The best thing the US has going for it is that the world tech backbone goes through us. Those backdoors aren't going anywhere and we are capable of working up some scary rear end poo poo on short notice when we call our allies in to help. Most other actors operate in a vacuum completely unaware of each other's ability, and mutually distrustful of anyone else, this allows for complex and impactful hits, but no real ability to carry out coordinated moves.

Immanentized fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Sep 26, 2017

# ? Sep 26, 2017 03:51

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Smiling Jack posted:

missed the point so bad he couldn't find it with a step ladder and a radio telescope

I think this is his twitter gimmick, like George Takkei being a pun aggregator.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 04:02

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Immanentized posted:

Effort post from hotel bar:

In a word, no.
Caveat: I'm private sector, so nothing I'm saying here is OPSEC or otherwise classified. Everything can be found in open source or amalgamated through articles on the topic. A good starting point is Countdown to Zero Day, by Kim Zafra.
The Eastern European types have this really unique "code" or general belief that their work has a nobler thing. Basically the consensus was "If you leave it on the table, it is my prerogative to take it". The EE types are unique in that they REFUSE to work for, against, or around other EE organizations and entities. Like, it's some sort of superpowered detente where the organized crime types, and the state have the ability to track you down and kill you, while you have complete and total control in the digital world.

The US doesn't really encourage the kind of tinkering that the EE types do, our guys like to get the fundamentals down, then automate and rely on scripts and pre-built programs. EE is more like going into a network and going really low and slow with their work, meticulously cleaning up any trace behind them, and the traces of any other hackers they find in a network or platform. We have some of the best backdoor planning and vulnerability identifying people on the planet, but over time, we have become super reliant on slot-in solutions and prebuilt vulnerabilities. When I was doing my Penetration Testing job, there was zero standardized training, and the certifications they offer, CEH, CFIE, COMPTIA+ (Except OSCP, more later) are loving horseshit with limited applicability to the wide world of exploits and vulnerability discovery. I was able to make up for my relatively weak network skills by using Kali and a ton of built in utilities, and I was extremely successful in social engineering work- but if you asked me to do this stuff from scratch I'd be lost. That's where the EE guys and OSCP people come in.

For the unaware, the Offensive Security Certified Professional (OSCP) is a hands-on program that culminates in the candidate being effectively locked in a lab over the course of a 2 day period and expected to play "capture the flag" and accomplish set objectives within the time limit. The guys who have this are extremely good at what they do, and compromise an extremely rare skillset within the global technology industry. You don't really "think about getting it". You either have the natural born talent, or you don't. Even then, there is usually a year's worth of studying and prep work involved.

EE hackers don't have a lot of these support systems, and many grow up tinkering with school networks, and operating on really dinosaur systems. That's one of their biggest wins in this space, they are entirely comfortable spending 3 years just looking at a network or environment, and making tiny manipulations as they go along. Case study from today had completely owned a major corporate network for an 11 year period without detection. When they busted him for something entirely different, they discovered this own, reported it to the victim and completely blew their minds. They're not superhuman, or even particularly special, they just have patience and a willingness to do a ton of manual work to accomplish small goals.

The Russian State Hackersare the same as the freelancers (that 200-300 number I mentioned in my mega update post) that caught a case of the patriotism, or they hosed up and broke the code, went after the state, and broke a deal so they can keep their legs.
China brute forces their dudes, but they do so based on a training regime that has some awesome success rates, and iron-clad operational procedures.
North Korea is really neat in that they roll their own malware and are distributing it as a platform on the open market.
Iran/Syria/Turkey are scriptkiddies who use really obvious vulnerabilities to hijack admin accounts and do crazy amounts of port scanning for the smallest win.

The best thing the US has going for it is that the world tech backbone goes through us. Those backdoors aren't going anywhere and we are capable of working up some scary rear end poo poo on short notice when we call our allies in to help. Most other actors operate in a vacuum completely unaware of each other's ability, and mutually distrustful of anyone else, this allows for complex and impactful hits, but no real ability to carry out coordinated moves.

I do think the one area where the US has a major edge is in hardware and embedded systems exploitation. On the one hand, you have the Russians using steganography to exfiltrate information through images uploaded to social networks and shutting down power substations. On the other, you have the US installing backdoors in the firmware of every network vendor and causing North Korean missiles to explode mid flight.

The problem with this kind of warfare is that offense and defense are completely different. Unlike in kinetic warfare where I can pretty use the same weapons to kill you whether I'm attacking or defending, in the computer world this is not the case. Furthermore, the US' reliance on networked and computerized systems makes it much more vulnerable to computer attacks than, say, North Korea. In other words, our offensive capabilities may well surpass those of adversaries, but the impact that we experience from a comparable (or even lesser) attack is far greater.

psydude fucked around with this message at 04:11 on Sep 26, 2017

# ? Sep 26, 2017 04:04

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

psydude posted:

Empty quoting this.

e: gently caress i hate agreeing with veins

Eh, the original statement was definitely too hyperbolic but there are some places in America that rival the third world by some metrics. Pine ridge reservation has a life expectant lower than Angola IIRC which is right near the bottom of the list, if not the bottom. On the other hand, there's probably a bunch of stuff there that the angolans would be absolutely envious of so I don't really use the third/second/first world terminology outside the context of the cold war.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 05:24

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

tastefully arranged labia posted:

Doctor, in my experience

Lawyer too, although man some really suck at even that.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 05:26

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Smiling Jack posted:

missed the point so bad he couldn't find it with a step ladder and a radio telescope

He does that poo poo to get a rise out of people. Factually accurate, but inflammatory as gently caress.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 05:53

Godholio: Aug 28, 2002; Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

NUKES CURE NORKS posted:

I'm happy that so many people are saying gently caress Trump publicly but Kaep's whole point for protesting originally has been hijacked to the point that it isn't even relevant anymore I don't think.

His original point was "gently caress the police" but he walked it back a bit.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 05:55

mlmp08: Jul 11, 2004; Prepare for my priapic projectile's exalted penetration; Nap Ghost

Godholio posted:

His original point was "gently caress the police" but he walked it back a bit.

uh... okay

# ? Sep 26, 2017 05:58

Dead Reckoning: Sep 13, 2011

Godholio posted:

His original point was "gently caress the police" but he walked it back a bit.

TBH, I didn't mind his protest so much as his penchant for throwing interceptions and inability to get his snap count under control.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 06:30

EBB: Feb 15, 2005

yo momma's cosmos so fat,

# ? Sep 26, 2017 06:37

PookBear: Nov 1, 2008

Godholio posted:

He does that poo poo to get a rise out of people. Factually accurate, but inflammatory as gently caress.

neil degrasse tyson is the embodiment of :goonsay:

sometimes

well achtually

PookBear fucked around with this message at 06:44 on Sep 26, 2017

# ? Sep 26, 2017 06:40

Fister Roboto: Feb 21, 2008

tastefully arranged labia posted:

yo momma's cosmos so fat,

Yo momma's so fat she has an event horizon.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 06:50

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

She so drat big it takes her eight years to wipe her rear end without violating causality

# ? Sep 26, 2017 06:53

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

FAUXTON posted:

She so drat big it takes her eight years to wipe her rear end without violating causality

I laughed even though I don't get it

# ? Sep 26, 2017 08:00

lightpole: Jun 4, 2004; I think that MBAs are useful, in case you are looking for an answer to the question of "Is lightpole a total fucking idiot".

Duzzy Funlop posted:

I laughed even though I don't get it

Your mom is really really fat. Really.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 08:16

Duzzy Funlop: Jan 13, 2010; Hi there, would you like to try some spicy products?

Okay, it's funny now

# ? Sep 26, 2017 08:20

Loving Africa Chaps: Dec 3, 2007; We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

Stultus Maximus posted:

Is there a term for someone who is a genius in one area and completely retarded in every other?

A Dawkins

# ? Sep 26, 2017 08:51

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Duzzy Funlop posted:

I laughed even though I don't get it

Her asscrack alone is 47,030,000,000,000 miles across and taking any less than eight years to wipe would mean she'd be exceeding the speed of light, effectively finishing before the information about her starting to wipe was received by the rest of her rear end thus (in theory, since she never wipes anyway, that dirty old bird) violating causality because to the rest of her rear end, she technically never started wiping until the gigantic ham hand showed up with a wad of asswipe.

yeah she fat

# ? Sep 26, 2017 12:53

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

FAUXTON posted:

Her asscrack alone is 47,030,000,000,000 miles across and taking any less than eight years to wipe would mean she'd be exceeding the speed of light, effectively finishing before the information about her starting to wipe was received by the rest of her rear end thus (in theory, since she never wipes anyway, that dirty old bird) violating causality because to the rest of her rear end, she technically never started wiping until the gigantic ham hand showed up with a wad of asswipe.

yeah she fat

Your mom doesn't have to worry about causality because social services just wipe her rear end on a schedule.

# ? Sep 26, 2017 12:59

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

quantum wiping, duh

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:14

Immanentized: Mar 17, 2009

Anybody have any specific questions for day 2? Secret service and federal LE dudes are hanging around for networking hour

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:18

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

So Trump really isn't doing anything about Puerto Rico...
But blaming them?
What the gently caress...

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:36

Proud Christian Mom: Dec 20, 2006; READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD

theyre brown

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:37

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

FAUXTON posted:

She so drat big it takes her eight years to wipe her rear end without violating causality

FAUXTON posted:

Her asscrack alone is 47,030,000,000,000 miles across and taking any less than eight years to wipe would mean she'd be exceeding the speed of light, effectively finishing before the information about her starting to wipe was received by the rest of her rear end thus (in theory, since she never wipes anyway, that dirty old bird) violating causality because to the rest of her rear end, she technically never started wiping until the gigantic ham hand showed up with a wad of asswipe.

yeah she fat

Proud Christian Mom posted:

quantum wiping, duh

...I love this dead gay thread :allears:

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:40

unbutthurtable: Dec 2, 2016; Total. Tox. Rereg.; College Slice

LingcodKilla posted:

So Trump really isn't doing anything about Puerto Rico...
But blaming them?
What the gently caress...

Wait -- what did he say to blame them?

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:40

M_Gargantua: Oct 16, 2006; STOMP'N ON INTO THE POWERLINES; Exciting Lemon

Immanentized posted:

Anybody have any specific questions for day 2? Secret service and federal LE dudes are hanging around for networking hour

What is the ideal size and constitution for individual deployment and reaction teams. I'm imagining one low level software expert, one hardware specialist, one network specialist, and one general purpose coder who can support two guys who know exploits and deployment protocols.

E; pull up the yospos irc channel and poll them

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:41

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 16:41

Immanentized: Mar 17, 2009

M_Gargantua posted:

What is the ideal size and constitution for individual deployment and reaction teams. I'm imagining one low level software expert, one hardware specialist, one network specialist, and one general purpose coder who can support two guys who know exploits and deployment protocols.

Cool, you thinking IRP for corporate, govt, or private deployment?

# ? Sep 26, 2017 14:43

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Current Events September 2017: 6-foot-7 grandfather

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