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yeah I eat rear end posted:Nobody wants to hear about your rear end in a top hat and I don't want to talk about it. Keep the pooping in the bathroom, and otherwise pretend it doesn't exist or happen outside of it. and yet you're posting in this thread specifically about assholes 
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Sep 27, 2017 13:26
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forum poster yeah i eat rear end doesn't want to talk about assholes
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Sep 27, 2017 13:27
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There are two types of people in this world. Those who use bidets and know how awesome they are and loving morons.
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Sep 27, 2017 13:45
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butthole ha HA
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Sep 27, 2017 13:46
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So you walk around with a wet rear end in a top hat all day? Sounds like a good way to get a fungal infection.
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Sep 27, 2017 13:46
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I actually do laugh tho.
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Sep 27, 2017 13:46
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Grevling posted:So you walk around with a wet rear end in a top hat all day? Sounds like a good way to get a fungal infection. My bidet has a blow dryer. So suck my clean rear end in a top hat, bitch.
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Sep 27, 2017 13:47
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Grevling posted:So you walk around with a wet rear end in a top hat all day? Sounds like a good way to get a fungal infection. durrrr you wipe the water off with tp when you're done with the bidet
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Sep 27, 2017 13:53
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yeah I eat rear end posted:Bidets are the kind of thing where they might be nice to use, but when you find out someone has one you are forced to think about their rear end in a top hat and you have to talk to other people about their assholes and how to clean them so I think I'll just stick to the standard, normal toilet paper. This actually pretty well articulates some of the concerns I had prior to purchase but I am glad I came to disregard them I'd tell you all to suck the poo poo out of my rear end in a top hat but it is clean enough to eat off of now and forever
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Sep 27, 2017 13:54
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My rear end in a top hat is a delicate ecosystem (think ying/yang) so I'm wary of introducing water to the mix. I'll be sticking with wadded up McDonalds napkins, but thanks for your time and suggestions.
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Sep 27, 2017 14:07
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Stalizard posted:It's way in the back, like up under the back part of the seat. And thanks to the magic of water pressure and I think some springs, the nozzles only pop out when you're actively using it. I'm sold
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Sep 27, 2017 14:19
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They put one of these on one of the men's room toilets. I think because this really big dude (like 400+ lbs) kept getting poo poo everywhere cause he has a hard time wiping I imagine. So I think to save the trouble of having to clean poo poo smears every day, they just got the dude a bidet. When I first saw it I had no clue wtf it was. So I turned the dial and this really powerful stream of water blasted the rubbermaid cabinet across for the toilet. It seems like it could do a decent job of cleaning the dingleberrys from your butthole, but I'd still feel the need to wipe a bit first and then powerwash my rear end in a top hat. I can see about posting a picture later and OP can confirm if his is the same. Although ours doesn't get hot, just cold it looks like.
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Sep 27, 2017 14:38
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I joined Bidet Crew a few weeks ago with this little beauty: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P2XZDGG  Cold only, but that's not a problem at all, and the kind that do both hot and cold are more expensive and more complicated to install. A cool mountain stream on your bunghole. This on has 2 nozzles, butt wash and feminine wash. The feminine wash nozzle is a little weaker and hits an inch or two forward of where the butt wash nozzle hits. Not really necessary and probably not worth the extra money over the single nozzle versions though, because you can just lean forward to get the butt wash nozzle to do the front too.
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Sep 27, 2017 14:40
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8KyBlGWI2k
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Sep 27, 2017 14:41
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Facebook Aunt posted:I joined Bidet Crew a few weeks ago with this little beauty: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P2XZDGG There's no masculine option on the bidet? That's pretty sexist and also how am I supposed to clean my balls?
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Sep 27, 2017 14:43
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Grevling posted:There's no masculine option on the bidet? That's pretty sexist and also how am I supposed to clean my balls? 
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Sep 27, 2017 14:44
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 EDIT - The TP is not mine. It was there when I got there. I left it as a bonus
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Sep 27, 2017 14:49
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What do you bidet owners think about guests using the bidet? I've been in rich people's bathrooms before that had a bidet but I didn't use the bidet. Is it okay to use the bidet?
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Sep 27, 2017 14:51
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Facebook Aunt posted:I joined Bidet Crew a few weeks ago with this little beauty: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P2XZDGG This is the one I got except I got the version with hot water too. You made a good decision, friend.
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Sep 27, 2017 14:59
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Grevling posted:What do you bidet owners think about guests using the bidet? I've been in rich people's bathrooms before that had a bidet but I didn't use the bidet. Is it okay to use the bidet? I'd rather you use the bidet than walk around my house with a stinky unwashed butt.
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Sep 27, 2017 15:07
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welcome to the bidet havers club, op 
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Sep 27, 2017 15:08
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have you tried sticking it "in"?
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Sep 27, 2017 15:10
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Facebook Aunt posted:I'd rather you use the bidet than walk around my house with a stinky unwashed butt. Thanks, Facebook Aunt. I'll do that the next time I visit your house.
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Sep 27, 2017 15:12
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bradzilla posted:lol at the giada avatar guys being all sensitive about the hole that poop comes out of What? No. Half a roll? The gently caress? How hard is it to poop and wipe? I feel like every time some of you go to the bathroom the old black and white footage of Vince Lombardi shouting "what the hell is going on out there?!" Plays
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Sep 27, 2017 15:16
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Big Beef City posted:What? No. Half a roll? The gently caress? haha nice try at being smug with your gross lovely rear end in a top hat
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Sep 27, 2017 15:25
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Relax your anus and let the water shoot up in then squeeze it all back out for a quick on the go enema.
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Sep 27, 2017 15:41
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Facebook Aunt posted:I joined Bidet Crew a few weeks ago with this little beauty: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00P2XZDGG Thank you sir I ordered this one. I can't wait to have a squeaky clean rear end in a top hat.
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Sep 27, 2017 16:09
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I enjoy the cooling sensation on my anus. I got the warm water option on mine but rarely use it. Nothing says pleasure and cleanliness like a rush of cold water right on the brown star. Also pro tip: wax your starfish. It helps keep you from having a petrified forest growing around your rear end in a top hat.
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Sep 27, 2017 16:17
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"I don't get why you'd want a bidet, it's gross." *literally mashes hands into rear end in a top hat to smear poop around* "No really guys, using tp is cleaner!" *washes poop stains off hands*
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Sep 27, 2017 16:21
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"I love having a wet partially washed swamp rear end 24/7 all my co workers agree"
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Sep 27, 2017 16:27
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MarcusSA posted:Thank you sir I ordered this one. I can't wait to have a squeaky clean rear end in a top hat. Be sure to update the thread when you get it!
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Sep 27, 2017 16:29
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Big Beef City posted:"I love having a wet partially washed swamp rear end 24/7 all my co workers agree" holy poo poo dude how stupid are you? you know you can still use tp to dry when you're done right?
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Sep 27, 2017 16:33
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bradzilla posted:holy poo poo dude how stupid are you? you know you can still use tp to dry when you're done right? I can't hear you over the sound of your wet rear end cheeks slapping each other disgustingly
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Sep 27, 2017 16:35
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it's p hosed up if you're legit too stupid for bidets
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Sep 27, 2017 17:13
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Helpful guide for people too stupid to use bidets.
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Sep 27, 2017 17:20
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I ran out of TP recently, thought I still had a roll in the closet but I didn't. A bidet would have been real nice then!! Instead I had to use a paper towel 
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Sep 27, 2017 17:25
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*in extremely ethel merman voice* IIIIIIIII bought a bidettttt and you can just bet I love all the wet I feel on my bum this is good material this is a good post
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Sep 27, 2017 17:40
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Bite the bullet and buy a bidet. Today!
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Sep 27, 2017 17:45
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[quote="Waltzing Along" post="476814469"] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8KyBlGWI2k Can I reverse the wand so it projects up my rear end
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Sep 27, 2017 18:41
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Spinster posted:If you guys menstruated Wait what do you mean if? We're not supposed to menstruate? 
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Sep 27, 2017 18:45
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