TRUMP257: An avalanche of horrific disasters

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > TRUMP257: An avalanche of horrific disasters

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mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

Mariana Horchata posted:

is that why reagan happened??

that and a poopy came out the wrong hole

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:22

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# ? May 29, 2024 07:10

GrimGypsy: Mar 27, 2007

playboy got lame and wouldn't have shown stills from the piss tape anyway

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:22

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

MariusLecter posted:

https://twitter.com/Phil_Lewis_/status/913240397224271872

RIP

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:22

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

The worst part was acrobat Yoda lightsaber battles

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:22

Slamhound: Mar 27, 2010

Lastgirl posted:

EULOGY FOR AMERICA

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to say our goodbyes to our dear friend America, who died recently after a brief, intense battle with fascism and a long, slow battle with carbs. Thank you all for coming out to help say farewell. It�s not easy. But at least America died doing what it loved most: deep-frying Halloween candy while white men tried to explain to women what jazz is.

America was sick for a really long time. In the early stages, I think we were all in denial. You could tell that America was unwell�public displays of brutality, deeply internalized prejudice, �Entourage��but it seemed curable. Just a case of plain old electile dysfunction. We thought that we�d caught the fascism early, but, as we now know, it had metastasized. America was more Florida than country by the end.

America was born right here, in America, and lived here its entire life. America was always about family. It is survived by its similarly ill father, Britain, and its large brood of children: baseball, Google, fireworks, losing your fingers to fireworks, giving your Uber driver only four stars because he talked to you, thinking granola is healthy, Chicago (the place), �Chicago� (the musical), �Chicago� (the movie adaptation of the musical), Chicago (the band), �Chicago Fire,� �Chicago Med,� �Chicago P.D.,� �Chicago Justice,� �Chicago �Chicago� � (a show about the Chicago production of the musical �Chicago,� coming to NBC this fall), and a bunch of wars.

I�d personally be nowhere without America. America was there when I was born, when I got married, when I saw Janet Jackson�s nipple at the Super Bowl. Remember that? After that happened, none of us slept for days, because we had never seen the pointy part of a boob on our TVs before, and it really upset us. America was really cool that way. It would always get mad when you�d see the pointy part of a boob on a TV. I�m gonna miss that.

However, we should not dwell on the loss of our dear country, friend, and place where all the Cheesecake Factories and Lids stores are. Today, let�s celebrate America�s life, and remember all of the remarkable things it accomplished and how many actors playing Spider-Man who keep getting cuter and younger were inside of it. America gave us so much. And, boy, did it look good for its age. America was two hundred and forty-one years old when it died, but it didn�t look a day over a hundred and sixty-four! It looked so young, it could�ve been the very same America that put its own citizens in internment camps!

America got a bunch of things really right. Mostly how to put food inside other food. Anyone can just eat a chicken. But in a duck?! In a turkey?! In a gun?! No one is going to forget the Turduckenun any time soon. America was so inventive that way. And, I mean, everyone does silly stuff when they�re young. America was beautiful, too. Sure, it was a little lumpy, and you could always see its Florida through its pants, but it just got hotter with age. So hot. It was so, so hot by the time it died. Almost too hot to live in.

If there�s anything we should take away from this tragedy, it�s that you should always check yourself for fascism, especially around your midsection. It�s easy enough to do in the shower. If you catch it early, it can be cleared up with a rigorous regimen of local elections and books and yoga. But America was cocky. Nothing bad had ever happened to it before! It assumed this fascism would pass, just like the Second World War and �Entourage� had.

What a shame. America was just the best drat country in the whole U.S.A. I�m sorry that I�m getting choked up. I get really emotional when I think of America, and also I took too big of a bite of Turduckenun and it got lodged in my windpipe. We will all miss America greatly. Every time I see an American flag or a gun, I�ll think of America. But we can all rest easy knowing America is in a better place now: Russia.

That'll be $23.87 please pay at the first window.

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:23

RealityWarCriminal: Aug 10, 2016

Funny, she doesnt look nabooish

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:23

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

GrimGypsy posted:

playboy got lame and wouldn't have shown stills from the piss tape anyway

no i think heff jr took over creative and they are back to full frontal softcore again

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:23

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

who cares
playboy bad
gimme the raunchy stuff

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:23

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

MariusLecter posted:

https://twitter.com/Phil_Lewis_/status/913240397224271872

I'm sure he died as he lived: surrounded by beautiful women.

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:23

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

ppl die like every loving day did u know a baby probly just got killed right now n u didnt even care about it says a lot about u

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:24

MariusLecter: Sep 5, 2009; NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

Turdfuzz posted:

who cares
playboy bad
gimme the raunchy stuff

Larry Flint is immortal

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:24

mormonpartyboat: Jan 14, 2015; by Reene

Turdfuzz posted:

who cares
playboy bad
gimme the runny stuff

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:24

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

my baby takes the morning welp nevermind

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

BgRdMchne: Oct 31, 2011

Epic High Five posted:

Heffner ded? Well, tough to mourn, he lived a long good life

Hopefully he doesn't pick all of the bunnies to be entombed with him

his magazine used to have good aricles

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

eonwe posted:

trump is bad

holy f*uck

this post just _{_{_ob}}_{_liter}₈^TED

turmpf an all his crony capitalist F⭐R⭐I⭐E⭐N⭐D⭐S

:holy:

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

HycoCam: Jul 14, 2016; You should have backed Transverse!

Hef not getting to see the pee tape released to the public is sad.

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

limp dick calvin: Sep 1, 2006; Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

can't believe Hugh heffner was 1000 years old and died

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

GrimGypsy: Mar 27, 2007

can't believe trump killed heff to distract us from russia

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Being a discriminating connesioir of pornographic arts, I subscribe only to the Piss Tape Quarterly

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

ahahha

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:25

Burn Zone: May 22, 2004

Hugh had the piss tape and they killed him for it

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:26

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

Consummate Professional posted:

can't believe Hugh heffner was 1000 years old and died

apparently he received the last rites while 69ing with an ASU coed

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:26

BgRdMchne: Oct 31, 2011

Lastgirl posted:

holy f*uck

this post just _{_{_ob}}_{_liter}₈^TED

turmpf an all his crony capitalist F⭐R⭐I⭐E⭐N⭐D⭐S

we got this

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:26

redneck nazgul: Apr 25, 2013

watch other movies

read other books

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:26

hallebarrysoetoro: Jun 14, 2003

Man Musk posted:

https://twitter.com/WIRED/status/913031774351101952

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:27

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

see hugh in hell

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:27

I did a thing: Mar 23, 2017; On the chest of a barmaid in Sale, were tattooed the prices of ale. And on her behind for the sake of the blind, was the same information in braille.

Burn Zone posted:

Hugh had the piss tape and they killed him for it

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:27

Animal-Mother: Feb 14, 2012; RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

rip main porno man

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:27

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

an ancient pervert died and sadly it wasn't trump

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:28

Victory Position: Mar 16, 2004

RIP (rest in porn)

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:28

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Animal-Mother posted:

rip main porno man

RIP Johnny Pornhub

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:28

RealityWarCriminal: Aug 10, 2016

Epic High Five posted:

The worst part was acrobat Yoda lightsaber battles

50s diner

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:28

redneck nazgul: Apr 25, 2013

Reality Winner posted:

50s diner

wanna buy some death sticks

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:28

limp dick calvin: Sep 1, 2006; Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.

Mariana Horchata posted:

apparently he received the last rites while 69ing with an ASU coed

he died as he lived

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:28

BgRdMchne: Oct 31, 2011

https://twitter.com/ap/status/913242017563643905

what does this mean ? ed balls doesnt follow japanese politics

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:29

Lastgirl: Sep 7, 1997; Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

Al! posted:

ahahha

the obama vs trump thing over obamacare is getiin really fkn abstract via pop culture references

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:29

I did a thing: Mar 23, 2017; On the chest of a barmaid in Sale, were tattooed the prices of ale. And on her behind for the sake of the blind, was the same information in braille.

Turdfuzz posted:

see hugh in hell

i HARDly hugh thee

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:29

Mariana Horchata: Jun 30, 2008; College Slice

besides, Larry Flynt is the true pervert of the proletariat

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:29

Al!: Apr 2, 2010

an eulogy for hugh~

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:29

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# ? May 29, 2024 07:10

Epic High Five: Jun 5, 2004

Reality Winner posted:

50s diner

Pretty troubling how all those Jedi were harassing and pouring milkshakes all over the gungans just for sitting at the counter

# ? Sep 28, 2017 04:29

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > TRUMP257: An avalanche of horrific disasters

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